Last of the re-writes. All else is new.

Can I take you home? Lock you in a cage?
Poke you with a stick, and feed you mayonnaise?
Won't you jump around like a monkey in a zoo
If I dress up like a clown, is it allright with you?
Is it allright with you?

Lyrics -Nerf Herder

As with any High school, news spread fast. Within a week- everyone was talking about how the Great Tony Stark was talking to the infamous Loki.

Loki first heard the rumors as he sat studying in the library with Kurt next to him, spilling a constant flow of words into Loki's ear. As usual, Loki was skillfully tuning him out. It wasn't until he heard whispered voices behind him and a bit to his right, behind a bookshelf. Stark.

"Look Nat, I know you seem to be concerned about my growing reputation or something, but I am not, nor do intend to be dating Loki. He's my friend okay."

Shit.

Loki shushed Kurt and listened more carefully.

"Tony, he's Thor's little brother."

"I know Nat and I am allowed to talk to him aren't I?"

"But this is Loki."

"I'm not gay Nat"

"And we both know that isn't even remotely true."

"Ssssh. You idiot. Keep your voice down." Loki heard some shuffling and then Tony's voice lower. "How did you know."

"Tony. I'm observant. You practically scream it every time Loki walks past. Your eyes follow his ass."

"It's a nice ass. A guy can appreciate that without being gay. I mean, a girl can call another girl pretty right? Well why can't I think Loki's pretty. That's just sexist. I'm gonna sue you or something."

"You think Loki's pretty?"

There was a pause before Tony spoke again. "I think he's fucking gorgeous."

Loki knew Natasha- hell he even respected her- and he knew she'd smirk at that. She liked to know things. "And what're you going to do about it?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"Nat, he's probably not even gay. He went out with Sif once remember?"

"That was never serious. And everyone says he is."

"Nat, this whole conversation as proof you should never trust rumors. He's definitely not gay. He may seem it to you, but I have a perfectly functioning Gaydar."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Nat, He doesn't even like me."

"Doesn't seem like that to me Tony. And don't call me Nat again, or I'll pummel you so bad that Loki definitely won't want to go out with you."

Loki smirked at those words as he heard her feather-light footsteps go one way and Tony's the other.

Doctor Maz, Over and Out