A.N.: Okay, so I know this whole chapter's gonna be so cliche but I couldn't think of another way for Santana to get Rachel to understand than through song! So R&R and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan and One and Only to Adele. The song mentioned that Finn sung was by Elton John.
Warning: Mentions of rape.
Santana was nervous to say the least. She had been secrete about telling Mr. Shue her plans and she even pretended to be annoyed when he agreed. Even though, between you and I, she was doing an internal happy dance.
Sometime during third period she had to tell Rachel that she would be missing Senior Free Period and lunch to put the finishing touches on her surprise.
All Santana could do was grin confidently when Rachel got all giddy and nudged her before running off to talk to Kurt.
By the time last period rolled around, Rachel was bouncing in her seat from excitement. She figured the surprise had something to do with Glee Club because Santana had yet to do anything with 5 minutes left in last period. She was really hoping for the Latina beauty to serenade her. That thought was washed away when she recalled the exact girl say that serenading people "just wasn't her style". So she let it go. For now.
Being the last one to show up to Glee, Santana sent Mr. Shue a knowing smirk as he gave her the floor. Taking her place at the piano she moved Brad from, she began to speak.
"Okay, so this song has nothing to do with the assignment since there was no assignment." She sent a fake smile towards the teacher who shrugged in response. "Anyway, this weekend I realized something and I just hope this song explains it. Oh and this song's for Rachel." everyone except Quinn, Brittany, Rachel, and Brad (surprisingly) gasped. "Oh come on guys! We've been friends for like 3 months . Okay, whatever this was Britts idea so if this goes over well I owe her one." Rachel looked genuinely confuzzled.
"I never knew you could play piano San." Santana smirked.
"I used to know how but I stopped. Tina taught me how to play the piece for this song so I could play it. Now, sit back, shut up, and wait until I'm done singing. Tina, Quinn come on."
As the three girls got into position, the room got quiet waiting for Santana to sing.
(Santana = Bold Backup = Italics Both = Bold/Italics)
You've been on my mind
I grow fonder everyday
Losing myself in time
Just thinking of your face
She looked around the room and rolled her eyes at the mixed sea of shock, confusion, and everything in between.
God only knows
Why its taken me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want
She looked at Rachel as she sung the next lines truthfully.
I don't know why I'm scared
I've been here before
Every feeling, every word
I've imagined it all
It's true. She went through all of this, with Brittany. She just hopes this time is different.
You'll never know
If you never try
To forget your past
And simply be mine
She shot a glare at Finn and looked back at Rachel with soft eyes.
I dare you to let me be your
Your one and only
I promise I'm worthy
To hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts
If I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name
Rachel found herself nodding her head at the truthfulness of the words.
Will I ever know
How it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me
Which ever road I choose you'll go
Tina took over the piano as Santana walked over to bend down in front of Rachel who had tears in her eyes. That's when the catcalls started. Rachel blushed furiously.
I don't know why I'm scared
Cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word
I've imagined it all
You'll never know
If you never try
To forget your past
And simply be mine
I dare you to let me be your
Your one and only
I promise I'm worthy
To hold in your arms
So come one and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
I know it aint easy Giving up your heart
Oooh
Nobody's perfect trust me I learned it
Nobody's perfect trust me I learned it
Nobody's perfect trust me I learned it
Nobody's perfect trust me I learned it
So I dare you to let me be your
Your one and only
I promise I'm worthy
To hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove I am the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts
Come on and give me the chance
To prove I am the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts
The room erupted into applause and when it died down and Santana took in all the compliments she turned to Rachel.
"Okay Rachel, that song was for you. I had to do it because that kiss blew my mind and I have feelings for you. Like serious feelings. So, Rachel Barbara Berry, will you be-"
A loud crash cut Santana off. Looks like Finn kicked another chair.
"No! You can't do this!" the man-child roared "You don't get to treat her like crap for years and then come in here and try to woo her. It doesn't happen like that Santana!" That's it. She's had it with everyone cock-blocking the shit out of her! Especially this idiot.
"Oh really! Like you've been so kind to her throughout the years. She deserves better. At least I can remember she exists when Blondie comes walking past." Santana screamed pointing at Quinn who ducked her head and blushed as Brittany rubbed her back.
"I'm so sick of you! You and your stupid scheming!" he punctuated the last word with a particularly sharp poke to her chest.
"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." she ground out walking closer with each word.
"Why are you such a bitch!" the tall boy yelled in anger. "Everyone knows your just trying to set Rachel up so you can embarrass her more!"
"Okay, first things first. I'm a bitch because of burros like you! Second, if everyone took their heads outta their asses for 2 minutes you all would see that this time, I'm not trying to hurt Rachel. And none of you know anything about our relationship so don't sit here and act like you do. I am so sick and tired of this fake ass glee club. Most of you hate me, some of you pretend to like me, and the rest just avoid me. You claim to be a family, but you're all really just a bunch of insecure assholes that need to learn how to stay out of my business. I did this for Rachel, not because I need your acceptance. You all really need to get over yourselves." Santana stood in the middle of the room fuming. Finn just rolled his eyes.
"Whatever Satan. Just lemme talk to Rachel." he said looking past the Latina to stare at Rachel who looked uncertain herself.
After raising her eyebrows in question at the tiny diva and after receiving a quaint nod, she let Finn pass. Though not without shoulder checking him first.
"Okay, fine. But, if you upset her I reserve the right to go all Lima Heights on your ass." she mumbled crossing her arms.
Rachel actually giggled at the Cheerio's statement while Finn looked at her with a goofy, lopsided, shit-eating grin. It was Santana's turn to roll her eyes.
"Okay Rach," Rachel actually cringed at the nickname. "Well, you know how Santana sang you a song? I have a song too and its really good too because I worked on it." he said with such confidence that it actually made Santana gag.
Rachel slapped her in the arm for her childish behavior. Santana rubbed her upper arm and pouted her lip to further exaggerate her pain.
"Okay Finn, you can sing your song." she offered a friendly smile.
"Thanks Rachel. You won't regret this."
After Finn's performance of 'Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word' Rachel decided he was allowed to have a conversation with her. Santana wasn't at all surprised when a resounding slap quieted the room after a not-so-subtle 'Sluttana' was heard.
Okay, so she's not indestructible (words do hurt her) and it stung her pride a little, but it was so worth it when Finn walked out of the choir room head bowed with a tiny hand print on his right cheek from where Rachel slapped the Grilled Cheesus out of him.
"Tiny? Are you okay?" she asked carefully watching the diva emerge from Mr. Shue's office. She didn't reply, just turned to Mr. Shue and whispered something into his ear to which he nodded frantically. Probably out of fear. Pussy.
After getting the okay from the teacher, Rachel began grabbing her things hinting for Santana to do the same. Just as the Latina was grabbing her Cheerios duffel Rachel turned to her.
"Oh, and to answer your question Santana," she tossed an indifferent look at the dumbfounded Cheerio, "I would love to be your girlfriend." And with that, she strode from the choir room leaving Santana to run behind her, but not before hearing the catcalls and whistling (mainly from Puck) from the club.
Game, set, match bitches.
xHTLGRx
Santana looked all around the school for Rachel until getting a text.
I'm inside your car, hurry up! -R
Santana looked at her phone puzzled as to how Rachel got into her car until she decided it didn't matter. After they pulled out of the student parking lot, the ride was silent.
"Rae, are you okay?" she asked opening her front door, "You haven't said anything since we left." Rachel just shrugged and headed to the couch, lost in her thoughts. After a moment she sighed.
"I'm fine. I guess I'm just in shock. I've never been mad enough to hit someone before. It's just he was bad mouthing you and I couldn't take it because I know your not really like that. But then he wouldn't stop and when her called you Sluttana I guess I just reached my limit." Santana moved closer so she was able to wrap her arms around the tiny brunnette. "I'm okay now though, I'm just worried about you. I know you heard what he said." Damn her for knowing about her numerous insecurities.
"It's whatever." she mumbled. "Nothing I haven't heard before." she gave a dry humorless chuckle to try and lighten the mood. Rachel just gave her a sympathetic smile.
"San, its okay if he hurt your feelings."
"But it's not Rachel! Everyone just makes assumptions about shit they don't even know."
She's not a slut. Everyone thinks she is because she fucked Puckerman the summer before Freshman year. They were young and badass so they decided they wouldn't embarrass themselves their first times if they actually knew what they were doing. She was okay with it because she loved him. Only it would be years later until she categorized it as a brotherly love. So no, in her opinion she's not a whore or a slut. She's saving herself so the most she's ever done was give a becky or two. Every since that party, she's been a changed girl. On the inside at least.
"Well can you tell me what really happened?" Santana actually considered this. If they were going to date, they had to know each others secrets and flaws, right?
"Okay, but you gotta tell me something too."
"Deal."
"Okay," Santana started taking deep breaths, "so it was freshman year..."
FLASHBACK
Santana couldn't believe this shit! She was 14 years old, a baby Cheerio, and a freshman but she was already at a junior party! You couldn't tell her nothing.
About two hours into the party, Santana was more than little buzzed. She was having fun though so she'd think of the consequences later. What she could think about now was the cute sophomore who'd been eying her for the past ten minutes.
Well, at least her B.A.C. made her think he was.
Whatever.
He was older and she was intoxicated therefore he was hot.
They talked for about 5 minutes until he offered to take her upstairs. Of course she agreed, but only because she had no idea what that implied.
They were sitting on the bed and when he tried to kiss her, she let him. She figures, why not, everyone kisses at parties. Then things got awkward. He pushed her backwards on the bed and laid down halfway on top of her, effectively pinning down her whole right side. Then, she felt something rough and callused making its way up her leg toward her inner thigh. When his hands made it under her dress and attached to her panties, she froze.
"Wait! Wait, what are you doing!" she pleaded desperate for an answer.
"Ah, come on babe! It'll feel so good, you won't even feel any pain." the deep voice slurred on top of her.
She doesn't remember answering. Maybe she said no, maybe she didn't say anything. Doesn't matter because it still happened.
She realized three things that night:
1. He LIED. It did hurt. It hurt more than anything. She's pretty sure she begged him to stop but he just kept saying its gonna feel good. So she waited for those words to be true. And while she waited. She cried.
2. She had basically just been raped. She cried after this realization. She cried harder when she realized she couldn't tell anybody because one, she had been drinking at a party that she wasn't supposed to be at and two, she couldn't remember who the boy was.
3. She HATES guys. They're sticky sweater, and for lack of better words gross. In Santana's mind, a girl could never hurt her the way that asshole just had.
That night, she went to Brittany's house and just cried herself to sleep. Not even bothering to tell her blonde bestfriend what happened.
Santana snapped out of the trance she was in while telling the story and looked at her girlfriend. She was unusually quiet and now Santana knows why.
Rachel berry in her always dramatic fashion sat next to Santana wide-eyes filled to the brim in tears with one or two silent tears escaping. They ran down her cheeks tinted pink from and landed on the hand that was covering her mouth ending their journey by leaking off and submerging into the couch cushions.
"Baby, don't cry, it was a long time ago and I've learned to accept it because word spreads fast and there was nothing I could do about it." she wiped a lone tear away from Rachel eye.
"That doesn't make it okay Santana! You have to tell your parents! Even though it was almost 4 years ago, they deserve to know and you deserve that closure."
"No Rachel! Just drop it. Please?" she asked her eyes pleading. Rachel sighed in defeat.
"Okay. I guess I could leave it alone." she sniffled and leaned into Santana. There was a pause. Suddenly, Santana's laughter broke through the silence. Rachel's brows furrowed in confusion.
"San, why are you laughing?"
"Because, I called you baby and you didn't even notice." Santana chocked out between gasps. Rachel's cheeks flushed bright red.
"I'm sorry, the term of endearment went straight over my head." Rachel chuckled.
"It's okay Tiny, you're kinda my girlfriend so I'll have a lot more times to call you that." the Latina smiled earnestly. Rachel smiled up at her and leaned in to kiss her.
"Oh I am your girlfriend. There's no kinda about it." she said getting up only to have Santana pull her back down into her.
"Uh uh Tiny. Where you going? You still have to tell me something I don't know about you." she said releasing her and smirking at the little Jewish girl.
"Oh, well, of course. Well, everyone thinks that I'm waiting until 25 to have sexual intercourse so I'm emotionally and physically ready, right?" Santana nodded. "Actually, I just don't want to have it with a guy," Santana's eyebrows took residency in her hairline. "I'm too afraid of how much it will hurt. That's why are I vowed to lose my virginity to a girl. Also it's also a little known fact that girls are just that much better in that area than guys." Rachel finished her point by sitting straight up on the couch with her hands folded in her lap looking at Santana.
Santana, who had been stunned into silence, stared right back.
"So lemme get this straight. You won't fuck a guy because you think it will hurt and he wont satisfy you?" Rachel nodded. "So instead you want a girl to take your V-Card?" Santana nodded hoping she got the gist of it.
"Precisely." Santana smirked.
"You do realize that my fingers can go about as deep if not deeper than Finnderella's 2-inch dick ever could right? And there are these things called strap-ons."
"Well, I...I uhm I mean, I don't know." Santana laughed as she could see Rachel's logic slowly making less and less sense to her.
"Real nice theory Tiny."
"Oh shut up, Santana!"
"Ouch! Kitty has claws!"
"Yes. I guess this means that kitty has to play by herself. She wouldn't want her Sanny Bear getting hurt." Rachel teased, using Brittany's nickname for the fiery Latina whose brain was probably mush right now, winking as she got up to make popcorn.
"God I love when she does that." Santana mumbled to herself as she put in a movie for her and her new girlfriend to watch.
xHTLGRx
The next day when Santana strode through the halls of William McKinley High School with Rachel on her arm everything felt... wrong.
Of course there were whispers and strange looks but she expected that. Not this.
This was completely different.
Something about the school's atmosphere was frigid. It made the hairs on Santana's neck sand up while Rachel continued to walk oblivious to everything. Santana tried not to let her apprehension disturb her time perfected HBIC mask but she couldn't help but feel alert. It must have been obvious because Rachel questioned her.
"Hey, are you okay baby?" Santana gave her a quick smile at the term of endearment before looking over the hallways once again.
"Yeah Tiny, I'm good. Just be careful today okay? People seem suspicious." Rachel nodded attentively. With a chaste peck on the lips, Santana was off to homeroom leaving Rachel in the seemingly empty hallway.
At least she thought it was empty.
Until she turned around and became face to face with Mercedes, Sam and an awkward looking Finn. Rachel was more caught off guard by the sight of the first two.
"Oh! Hello guys, what can I-"
"Cut the crap Rachel." Mercedes interrupted, "What's with the Pezberry?"
Pezberry? Wouldn't that be... Oh. Rachel rolled her eyes. She was so sick of everyone having an opinion on a relationship that a) just started and b) didn't concern them.
Of course she could see why each one of them had their reasons but that didn't mean their input was welcomed.
"Okay." Rachel tried. "What do you wish to talk about?"
"Rachel, I think its obvious what Mercedes wants to talk about?" Sam spoke up from his spot behind Mercedes.
"Yeah. What's with the Pezberry." Mercedes repeated. Sam nodded feigning sternness while Finn looked around sheepishly. Rachel again found herself rolling her eyes.
"Yes, me and Santana are in a romantic relationship. However-"
"WHY!" Mercedes and Sam asked harshly, seemingly bringing Finn out of his reverie.
"Because, I happen to care a great deal about her and I know she cares about me. Also, it just so happens that a summer long friendship developed greatly." Meanwhile, no one but Finn noticed a Latina coming down the hallway.
"Actually," Rachel continued, I must confess that I have had these feelings for quite some time. Which shouldn't be surprising considering how beautiful and talented she is but nonetheless- Finn! I think it is highly inappropriate to look that way while someone is talking. Why is everyone backing away?
"... Uhh. We'll talk about this later Rachel." Sam squeaked out turning around and straight out running down the hall at the last second.
"Well, wasn't that rude." Rachel thought turning around. She actually jumped back when she saw her Latina girlfriend there with her trademark HBIC glare in place. Well, that answers that.
"Damn right it was. Here you go Tiny." she said handing Rachel a bouquet of yellow and white lilies. They resemble they purity of their new relationship and how she hoped Rachel would forgive her for her old ways.
"Santana where did you get these from, they're beautiful."
"I skipped 3rd period to go get them. It was no big deal. They're still not as beautiful as you." Santana added with a shrug and a smug grin. She knew exactly how to flatter a girl. Rachel blushed just like Santana knew she would.
"Anyway," Rachel stopped to clear her throat." What would you like to do this evening?" Santana got a wicked glint in her eyes.
"Actually, my bro Puck is having another party and I thought we could go." Santana shrugged trying to look innocent. Rachel raised an eyebrow.
"Well, since I was not informed of said upcoming party, I have reason to doubt your invitation San." Just as Santana was about to reply Puck walked past.
"Hey Jewbabe, totally looking forward to seeing you and my lesbro working it at my party tonight." He winked at Rachel.
"I told you to stop calling me that Puckerman!" Santana yelled smiling only getting a distant 'never' in response. Rachel only shook her head. From the looks of it, these two definitely had an awesome bromance.
"Okay. We can go. Pick me up at 8?" Rachel asked getting an excited nod from Santana. They carried on like that sharing details of potential outfits while Santana tried to forget the way she was feeling this morning, even though that nagging feeling was still there.
A.N.: Okay, so, next chapter we find out what's been bothering Santana and they go to Puck's party. There might even be a confrontation at the party. Who knows? *Evil Grin* By the way, if you didn't know, a "becky" is a term used in reference to a blowjob. So... yeaah. Anyway! REVIEW & VOTE! I haven't forgotten about Fierce/Quitt and I'm still looking for a way for them to have their moment.
Until next time...
TPE