34

Katrina and Roberto slumbered in their beds, and Tomino twitched fitfully near them.

Helen sat close to the lamp, reading the letter from Sarah.

My Dearest Erik,

So long since that moment I found you. Do you remember?I was so happy, and couldn't show it, you wouldn't have liked a scene.

Somehow, I think you liked to think I was pretending I wanted to keep in touch. But see?I have kept my word, and haven't forgotten.

It was painful to hear of what happened between you and Christine. I wish it had ended some other way, but then, I don't know if that would have been preferable.I understand a little better now than I did then.Did you know I left home for Jean?My husband has made it worth it, and I am not sorry.And yet I am. The emotions are funny things, aren't they?

I miss Mama and Papa. It is regrettable that I left a fight behind, and I hope everyday to find a way to mend what I tore willingly. We have all played the fool, it seems.

Pride will destroy us all.

There are some things I feel must be said, and as I have spare moment, it seems appropriate that I say them now.

You know I have expressed my wish that you take in Katrina should something happen to Jean or I. Since my sister-in-law has been less than welcoming to me, Jean has agreed.(No one knows where our brother will be from week to week, and I am still unable to write our parents.)I wish you to give her the same passion that has fueled your life.Don't fear for her in this, she has yet to stray from the path we have given her.You know I hold little love for opera, but I see the value in the love of art.Give her that, should I pass before you, brother.Give her that splendor only such a powerful passion can bestow.

Give her courage, and I assure you she will show you love.

Love, what a strange word! How misused by many.

I have learnt the hard way that it is not always an emotion, but a steadfast choice to never leave the side of those in your life. It is often guised in anger, support, advice, endurance and yes, pain.It inspires long after it kisses us, even if we cannot grasp the memory.

If such an event occurs, you will see that Katrina is the stillness at the heart of such a choice. It is not loud or garish, nor simple to define.It makes her young and old, wise and random.You will find her unsettling, and yet a great inspiration indeed.I have spoken of you often, and she will not find you a stranger.

If you are reading this, then the time has come for you to see it, and I hope it is the happy occasion for me to give to you over a Sunday dinner. If not, then I have passed on into a place where such things cease to matter.So be it.

I beg you to make peace with our parents and brother. Take Katrina to them someday, if only to say good-bye, please try.It is a great sadness that we lost so much time together.I catch glimpses of what it might have been, and know that it was not to be. Please, for any sake you choose, waste no more time.

You shine too brightly to be hidden forever, and I do believe in time you will find your way. Many have inherited their rights, and take them as a matter of course.In your case, Erik, you are the conqueror, the crown grasper, and so will not fade when your fire burns out.It will have lit other tapers, and will fuel someone else's passion.

What else can I say? You know the rest.

With love and blessings,
your sister,

Sarah

Helen bit her lip and moved the paper away from the fall of her stray tears. "What are you going to do?"

The fire cast a deadly look to his face, hiding the deep-set eyes, leaving only their gleam visible. He shook his head slowly. "I don't know. So many years…it changes things, does it not?"

She noted the wry note in voice, and folded the paper carefully, rubbing her thumb over the angel in the wax. "I don't understand all of this; I don't ask, you see, but you have no time to wait. The other letters were sure to mention you."

"I know." He leaned forward, moving the shadows back to his cheeks. "It is not a very difficult story to tell, and since you don't ask, I shall tell it."

Erik paused, lacing his knotted fingers carefully before he began. The voice he spoke in was low and even, nearing a growl.

"I did have parents once, and a home as you might have guessed from Sarah's letter. My mother was so horrified by me that she hid me from my father as long as she could. If he had not returned for a forgotten paper unexpectedly, he might never have known… They did not hire many servants, and only one tutor with the understanding that they were not to speak of me to anyone or they would be released without reference. Eventually, my younger brother was born. When we were children, we were happy enough, did the things all children did.

"However, it did not take me long to understand that my face was not the only thing standing between me and the outside world. I was too clever, too able. My music, my architecture, and even in sculpting I showed an abnormal development. As you might expect, the people who did know me all had an opinion. My grandmother's was that I had been possessed, and should see an exorcist. I promptly tied all of her stockings into knots of my own devising."

Helen hid a smile, remembering her own rebellious acts as a child when her sanity was questioned. He went on without seeing the reaction.

"My brother grew and became more aware of the gulf I had created between him and society. His desire was to further the family name, and you can't do that with a skeleton upstairs. We grew apart, and he eventually became nasty. To be just, I was no kinder, and would retaliate. You can imagine what this state of war did to our parents, and you have seen firsthand what my temperament is concerning adversity. I left, traveled, learned as I went. In India I was discovered to be clever with trapdoors…I think Katrina has told you some of that particular event. In time, I came back, and helped to build this Opera House. When I was first involved with the problem of diverting the water below the foundations into lake, I could almost see a little village along its shore in my mind. That was when I decided to build a home here, where there would always be music, where I could hide, where none could find me.

"Well, you know what came of that. Christine, Raoul, the whole horrid set of events. A few years passed, where I waited and watched their happiness grow. I was truly ready to die when Katrina wrote me telling of her parents' death. I am not sure what I thought exactly, but it was something I felt compelled to take upon myself.

"As Sarah wrote, 'what else can I say? You know the rest.'"

Helen smiled, her jolly face somewhat subdued in thought. A lifetime, reduced to a mere five minutes. It was a shame, somehow. "I have an opinion, you know."

He gave her a sharp glance that only she and Katrina recognized as amusement. "I do not wish to hear it."

"You shall anyway."

"In time," He said, taking her hands carefully. It was a sensation he was still unaccustomed to. "But not tonight."