A.N.: Guise, Imma cry. This story is my baby and to say I miss it would be like an understatement. I am also disgusted with myself for the word length of this chapter but hey, a small chapter is better than no chapter.. so here you go!
Disclaimer: At the end of the day, Glee goes back to Ryan Murphy and "Fleeting Is Our Love" to Rafael Cazares.
To say Santana had a bad night would be an understatement. She felt like complete and uttershit. She had a killer headache which was stupid because she barely even drunk last night. On top of that, some asshole left the blinds open letting in all the blinding sun rays.
Groaning and sitting up, she took in the familiar surroundings of her room and the not so familiar feel of her empty bed.
Time to face your demons Lopez. You know what they say, 'third time's the charm'.
Santana mustered some superhuman strength and pushed herself out of bed. Walking into the bathroom too brush her teeth, she stopped abruptly at the image staring back at her. She literally looked as bad as she felt.
Santana's heart sunk and she let out gut-wrenching sob that surely would've alerted her parents. If they were ever home.
Why do I fuck up everything good?
Santana sat cross-legged in the back passage way of her walk-in closet. She calls it her secret hideout because nobody except the people that built it know it's there. Which makes her wonder why it was put there at all. Maybe this was something that God compelled them to do because He knew one day she'd be here bawling her eyes out.
She turned in an attempt to get comfortable and heard something crinkle underneath her weight.
What's this?
It was labeled, "For Tana, because you're you". Santana laughed bitterly, because being her seemed to get her into a fuckton of situations that didn't benefit her.
Inside was a letter scribbled in Rachel's unmistakeable fine print. It read:
"Dear Tana,
I don't know what you expected me to do or say but I know I couldn't stay in bed with you but I couldn't leave without saying something." Yeah, she certainly said something alright, Santana said inwardly.
"There was a poem I read one called 'Fleeting is Our Love'. You've probably never heard of it before but with all this going on between us, I finally had a chance to think about its meaning.
I invite you to a humble abode
where the moonlight seems to
always be;
hiding from the sun.
You have refuse to come.
So I remain.
Maybe you have too much to lose
and I much to gain.
Love has
left those adorable, admirable eyes
Losing the warmth, unable to
shelter your worries and cries.
Friendly feeble
you are cozy summer beetle
that the masses have overlooked
just lying on your beds of
leaf...quietly,
where I've longed to be.
Our love has evolved into sheer
destruction and concern,
So the time has come to
extinguish that
which faintly burns.
I am sunflower.
Watching you illuminate the sky
as you run.
No matter how many times we mess up and fix it, this relationship is something that's destructive. It was great of us to try, but most things in life are temporary. We've always known what the consequences of us would be. You've always had more to lose than I had to gain. Looks like we'll finally see just what that is.
No matter what the future has in store for us, just know that I'm not mad; just appealing to our best interests. In all honestly, ever since that phone call two and a half months ago, you have constantly making my life worth living. I won't forget the time we've spent together, how could I. I just want to be secure in a relationship and I'm not sure I can be with you. I'll get over it and you will too. It's what we do. You're amazing Tana.
Yours Truly (no matter what you think),
Tiny 3"
After reading that letter, Santana definitely had a hard time breathing. It's just that Rachel almost always contradicts herself and finds a way to take full advantage of Santana's emotions at the same time. The Hispanic girl let out almost a sadistic laugh as she realized that this girl had the power to break her with what in her mind were a few well-placed fucking words.
She was torn between being mad at Rachel for leaving and hating herself for driving her to leave in the first place. So, she did the only thing she's ever known. She shut the world out and grabbed the strongest tasting bottle of Tequila she had out of a shoe box behind her winter coats.
A.N.: Second rewrite is done. I can check that off my list. ✅
Until next time...
TGWL