Undiscovered
Chapter Four
Korra had never been one to admire the benders, not the ones she saw growing up anyway. As unconventional as it sounded, she had found the purposeless street battles barbaric, and the probending matches a mockery of an art form. She had gone a long time letting people assume she was a nonbender.
So as she sat on the outer windowsill of the brother's attic, she crossed her legs and breathed slowly and surely. Letting all negative and conscious thought leave her. Her body had its own song, its own music, and as she allowed the chi to flow through her, it found its natural path.
It could have been hours, or it could have been milliseconds later, but Korra came back to the world around her, blinking once slowly to take in the light that blinded her momentarily. It was much dimmer now, the sun lower in the sky than she remembered.
A tear slipped down her cheek, she didn't bother to wipe it away. She had no reason to. With her mind clear, Korra could not think of anything that would bring her to tears. Maybe the built up emotion was slowly slipping out.
Sighing, Korra carefully made her way back through the window and saw the boys had still not returned.
Bolin had taken his brother out after Mako and Korra had fought.
Korra saw they were both to blame now, to an extent, but in her current relaxed and clear-minded state, also saw that she had to let things go. And one day she may have to let people go. So this led Korra to the conclusion that, she wanted no regrets, she wanted those close and important to her to know how she felt, and she wanted to know how they did to. But she had, admittedly, approached the situation wrong.
They had argued about the way Mako wanted to always know where she was, even though he told her where she was going to be anyway, so knew regardless. This had been bothering Korra for a while anyway, so she had shot back with a logical and prepared argument. Mako had got angry, as firebenders generally do with their short tempers, and started making cryptic comments about how her newfound confidence was the product of egotistical ideals that seemed to have planted themselves in her brain overnight.
Korra hadn't a reply to that, and had let Mako run out of steam whilst standing there, hands clasped loosely behind her back. I'm all honesty, she had changed, not drastically, but different nonetheless. She was more at peace with herself. Korra felt far more assured than she ever had of her purpose and place in life, no longer felt she could take her own. This may have come across as lofty and big headed given what the boys knew of her usual behaviour.
Bolin had stared at the girl who no longer acted like a girl, but like a woman in front of him. And had decided that if he could not say anything to sooth the tension between the two, he could at least give Korra the space she had been deprived of by his overprotective brother.
And despite the heavy atmosphere in the room, the young earthbender found no satisfaction in the two being at each other's throats. In fact it pained him some. So for once in his life he took the role of carer, and told his brother they were going out, no arguments, and that Korra should try relax and have some time to herself. And that had been that.
Korra had muttered once they had left about how those who could bend lightening were meant to be in great control on their emotions, evidently not.
She regretted that now. One slip up did not change who he was, who he had proved himself to be to her. She did understand, but purposefully overlooked this. Mako was protective by nature, and she shouldn't have been so brash about explaining her feelings on how he acted. Especially as it was so natural to him, that was not fair.
"Our thoughts become our actions, our actions become our behaviour, our behaviour becomes our habits, and our habits become our character, so be careful what you think" muttering this to herself, Korra began to make dinner for the three; being extra careful with her thoughts.
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"So...have you calmed down yet?" Bo asked his brother, offering him another handful of chips from his newspaper cone.
The tide lapped at the pier posts beneath their dangling legs as a few moments of reflection passed,
"I don't know" Mako said honestly,
"She's changing"
Bolin frowned, Mako wouldn't even say Korra's name,
"Hey, bro...I don't think she's changing, more, coming out of her shell. I honestly doubt she's naturally the quiet type…you've seen her eyes when she's doing well, anything" the earthbender chuckled a little uneasily,
"-She has this, determination Mako, I'm sure she's just getting more comfortable now" despite his efforts, Bolin felt a little disheartened to see his brother turn away, seemingly unchanged by what he had just said,
"I bet she's not even mad at you anymore!" he huffed, trying one last exasperated time to get through to Mako,
"I didn't do anything wrong! Why is it always my fault when it comes to her?!"
"Mako, you know you were being way to over protective-"
"with every reason to be" Glaring at the interruption Bolin carried on,
"and it's not always your fault, you're just the one that doesn't like to compromise or ever admit you're partially to blame, also, 'her' name is Korra"
"When did you turn into the older brother" Mako questioned, raising an eye brow, effectively dodging all he said, but the earthbender now saw that his brother took in his views and would think over his actions,
"I dunno, maybe when you started having girl troubles" Mako chucked a chip at him with a scowl before they both set off for home.
No denial, Bolin sullenly thought to himself.
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'With every reason to be' that was what he had said, but what does that mean? Bolin thought to himself as the walked up the never ending flights of stairs to the attic, am I missing something here?
"Thanks Bo" Mako said quietly as they neared the top,
"I owe you" Bolin nodded and smiled at his brother, too wrapped up in his thoughts to actually reply. They were both tired, and wanted to just go to bed.
As Mako pushed the door open they both stood still to take in what seemed to be a fast asleep Korra, curled up on the small sofa, with a note by her arm. Bolin hurried over to her, crouching down to make sure she was actually sleeping and not knocked out or unwell. This caused the firebenders stomach to twist uncomfortably,
"Here, let me check her, you read the note" Mako hated how his voice sounded so stiff, but his reactions came fast and irrational lately,
"Sure thing bro" Bolin replied slowly, slightly confused as to why his brother was all up tight over him just making sure their new friend wasn't dead or anything.
Mako didn't know what he intended to actually check, because Bo had already announced her asleep, but he settled for just sitting on the floor by her head, leaning his shoulder on the sofa to wait for his brother to read the note.
"I'm kinda tired, food's on the stove, night guys x"
Bolin's bottom lip jutted out as he teared up,
"Aw she left us food" his voice overcome with emotion, Mako, though touched by her gesture, wasn't quite as emotional as his brother,
As if on que their stomachs both grumbled loudly,
"Guess the chips didn't hit the spot" Mako muttered, checking Korra hadn't been woken by their protesting intestines,
"Now, do you want a big bowl, or two big bowls?" the firebender was surprised to see his brother already scooping food into his own, hungrily eying up the grub, Mako chuckled,
"One will be fine Bo" Bolin shot a grin over his shoulder as the two brothers made their way over to the table to eat.
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Korra had gotten up bright and early to go for a run all around the city; she went everywhere and anywhere hoping to get rid of all this excess energy that had been building up over the last week or so.
It was nearly a month now she had been staying with the brothers; they had won their last match and were now in the championships. Their waterbender was being…difficult, but they were making it work, as far as Korra could tell, they needed to. She wanted to help but she never had been able to hold down a job.
Upon reflection, she suspects that fire was the element that stayed with her because of the anger she had, towards her situation, herself, and life, in all its unfairness. It was the only reason Korra could think of for her to lose her-as Mako had pointed out-obvious birth element of water. And clearly, the avatar was born into water this time round, so she was first and foremost, a waterbender.
Then why was it she could hardly stay calm long enough to bend at all? If she wasn't angry, she was nervous; if she wasn't nervous she was embarrassed, confused, lonely, sad. Korra found herself stuck with no one to guide her,
"Urgh!" She shoved her fist into the seawall, which probably thought its sole purpose in life to prevent coastal erosion, but apparently now found itself posing as the girl's punching bag. Again and again came her blows until her fists were bloody and numb, and her face hot and tear streaked,
"I'm a mess"
She had thought after her little meditation session last week that she was more in balance with herself and the world around her. She obviously thought wrong.
"Why is this so difficult" Korra took off again, panting as she made her way round the bay, the park (knowing Gommu wouldn't be there this time of day) the alleyways, the town, the port, and then, she was back at the arena.
Her hands were stinging due to the wind hitting them relentlessly, and Korra flinched as she tapped them gently, she hummed to herself and pulled her worn fingerless gloves out of her pocket, pulling then on with a wince. At least they were covered now, right?
"Waitta go Korra, stupid stupid stupid" she shook her head and then made her way to the very top of the building. The sun was over head now, and she had gone out at half five as the merchants had just been setting up, the boys probably weren't even up-
"Where have you been?!"
"OH THANK SWEET BABY AANG YOU'RE ALIVE" Korra all but stumbled back down the flight she had just climbed when practically attacked by the brothers,
"I'm uh- I mean, um-" Her hands began to shake and she mentally pleaded for them to stop, the last thing she needed was to go into a panic attack when she was already a mess as it was; breaking down into an emotional wreck was not going to help that.
"Hey, hey, sorry, we'll back off. We were just worried" Mako stepped back three feet and rubbed his neck awkwardly, Bolin seemed to be staring at her in disbelief, as if she had come back from the dead, and that was when she noticed it.
"W-what's that?" Korra pointed to the red and white ringed long rat looking thing that was nibbling on a piece of bread in the corner of the room,
"Oh! That's Pabu!" Mako rubbed his hand over his face at his brother's enthusiastic and non-explanatory reply,
"He's a fire ferret, Bolin found him running around in the beams this morning" Korra eyed the animal suspiciously,
"It won't eat me right?" Bolin looked honestly offended at her suggestion; Mako cracked a smile and replied in all seriousness,
"I'm sure Bo will keep him in check"
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Two days before the championship match, Noatak publicly announced the elimination of the sport. The brothers were distraught, the needed that money, even if they didn't win, it was how they got the majority of their money.
Everyone else in the city was somewhat ambivalent, they didn't like having a form of entertainment taken away, but they could understand Noatak's reasoning. Korra personally thought there was hardly any reasoning at all, just a lot of smooth talking. Honestly, it was like his whole announcement was bundled in bubble wrap.
"What does he mean its 'detrimental to the peace of the city'?! He can't tell us what peace is, he can't make peace!" Mako grumbled bitterly as Bolin glared at the floor harshly,
"You know, I was starting to like the guy. Not now. No way" Kind-hearted Bo was always a little less anger fuelled than his brother; he couldn't even hold a grudge for more than 12 hours.
Korra looked at her feet, feeling responsible for all this cushioning the city was under. The avatar was the one to keep balance, yet she stood here, weak and hardly able to bend at all. She hadn't even known she was the avatar; it took a stranger a few weeks to figure it out, start figuring her out.
"Why am I so useless?" The statement flew from her lips, carrying venom and self-hatred. Before anything else could go wrong, Korra ran, she ran back to where she came from, and she wasn't coming back until she was somewhat presentable to the world.
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The brothers had tried to keep up with her, they had ran until they fell flat on their faces from exhaustion, but something was carrying her faster than they had thought possible. Her strides never shortened and her paced never slacked. It was so surreal; this girl they both thought was physically weak and in need of their protection was easily out running them and into the world without even the slightest hint of struggle.
"We need to find her" Bolin stated, his brother glared at him,
"Well done, come up with that yourself?" Mako winced upon hearing what came from his mouth,
"I'm sorry Bo, I'm just-"
"Worried, yeah I know, we both are Mako. I care about her as well you know"
And in that moment, there was a heavy silence as both brothers let that sink in. Did that mean that Bolin cared for Korra as Mako did? The weight of that statement depended on how Mako felt and he knew it. I don't like her as anything more than a friend; she should be like a sister…
"Let's just go find her Bo"
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"All you have to do is wait tables and look pretty" Korra nodded, having been dolled up in a little make-up and dressed in clothes she never thought she would wear, well it had given her something to hide behind. And for that, she was grateful.
Though utterly disgusted with the fact that she had been directly told to flirt back with the customers if they began an advance, something she wasn't comfortable with at all. Sacrifices have to be made, she reminded herself, not yourself worth Korra, never that, she found herself scoffing, too late.
It was dark out now, and Korra was practically dead on her feet. She had worked all day, had no money to buy any lunch, breakfast and doubted she could find anything free for dinner, so was simply looking forward to resting her head.
Korra's eyes widened, where was she going to sleep?
"I am so stupid" She all but whacked herself on the forehead for not thinking this far ahead,
"Hey sweetie, I have to say, you look rather ravishing in that uniform" Korra pulled a face as she turned to see who was speaking to her, his hair was an odd purple shade and hung in a greasy wave over one side of his face, Korra could understand why he wanted to hide it though, his eyes were cruel and his brow set in a forever unattractive scowl.
"Oh?" looking down at her dress and apron, she saw nothing particularly spectacular about it, besides it being more inconvenient than her trousers, which makes it a spectacular pain.
"Don't be so modest, you have to flaunt what you have."
"And what exactly is that?" She snapped, immediately she wished she hadn't asked, upon seeing the glint in his eyes,
"A body that any man would kill to get his hands on" Korra visibly paled,
"Uh, I-I better go and clear some tables or-"
"You-" The man grabbed her wrist, causing her to drop the pincher of water she had held,
"-are not going, anywhere" Gulping she quickly assessed the situation, so, she was trapped, effectively. With no one else anywhere in sight, and this stranger yanking her out of the shop she had little hope of escaping. Yet, something was still sparking inside of her, something wouldn't give up.
"No" Korra ground out, sharply yanking her wrist out of his grasp,
"I shall not be going anywhere with you" jabbing a finger in his chest with excess pressure to make her point,
"I'm sick, of people like you, thinking you can push around people like me. You aren't anything special, you are not above anyone else, we are all humans for god sake! Get a hold of yourself! Do you even think this is appropriate? Because it sure as hell isn't, and that would be jail time you'd be serving, and I can tell you one more thing, you'd go in with a broken arm and the inability to father children if you ever touched me again. And let's not forget-" Korra stopped when she saw the look the man was giving her, and then she realised something. The waves were silent, no sound at all. Usually they were audible even inside the small café on the seafront.
Korra looked over her shoulder, to see a suspended wall of water. It held perfectly still, and was about the size of the probending stadium width wise and in height.
"Is that me?" she whispered,
"I thought they only had nonbenders as waitresses!" The man began to sprint away from her, but Korra stood and stared in awe at the water she had apparently bent into this position. Slowly, she raised her arms in a way she felt most natural, and pulled them backwards. With a loud and destructive crash all the water fell forward towards her, flooding the bay, even the pier was submerged.
Korra removed the gloves she had been wearing since she had busted up her hands with a wince. Scabs had been reopened in the process but she needed to see if they were healing. They were a frightening dark purple now, in some places nearing black. Her usually bony fingers now swelled to just over normal size, only noticeable to her really.
She hated to admit it, she really did. But Korra knew what she should do.
It was evident that she was out of control, her emotions led her every action, and now those actions were resulting in unknown bending? Not only could she be imprisoned for bending without being in full control, but she could do some real harm. She needed guidance, and she needed support.
But that was so hard for her to accept when she felt like a horrible, disgusting, useless person, hardly worthy of being the avatar at all. Not to mention all these secrets about her past that she had never told another soul alive, they caused her nightmares and haunted her wherever she went. Korra had even taken to only sleeping for an hour at a time to avoid getting to the dreaming part of sleep; she knew it kept the brothers up when she began screaming.
A little part of her thought it was best no one ever found out she was the avatar; Mako being the exception. That way no one would ever get their hopes up to only have them crushed when a girl completely incapable of being the avatar inevitably screwed up, ending in doing more harm than good and wrecking the lives they had built for themselves in her absence. Or well, as far as they knew, her nonexistence.
But as she stared over to Air Temple Island, Korra found herself thinking that maybe she was allowed to screw up. Maybe she was growing into the avatar and until she was fully trained, she was permitted to admit she was lost and confused and finding everything really hard. She was the avatar, and the spirits wouldn't have chosen her if they didn't think she could deal with it. So she was going to make her parents proud, she was going to make Aang proud, damn it, she was going to make the world proud. But also herself, and prove to Mako that she didn't need constantly looking after either.
Korra breathed in, and then out. She would find the brothers, apologise, and then go to councilman Tenzin. He was Korra's closest connection to Aang, and Mr Spiritual; he would be able to help her. She was sure of it.
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A:N
I really did not like this chapter at all. So I can honestly say I don't blame you for telling me off for it, it's mainly because I'm had lots of hospital meetings that make it difficult to write a chapter in one go, which is usually how I write them, but not this one, this one was choppy and all over the place L I'll probably replace it later, thanks for reading anyway, Sasha x