A/N- This is the last one I have written out for now. I'll (hopefully) have it updated soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own NATM.

I got home from my class, and dropped my bag on the kitchen table. Sitting down with a huff, I pulled out my laptop and the Egyptology textbook I borrowed from the library. I cracked my back, attempting fruitlessly to get out the kinks before getting up to grab a snack, as per my usual routine. I liked to procrastinate for as long as I could, before actually doing any work.

After about an hour, I sat down, and actually got to work. I had to write an original short story, for any topic, that was under 30,000 words, and, for some strange reason, I wanted it to be about Ancient Egypt. Except for the fact that I had no idea where to start, nor did I have the patience to actually read through this damn textbook.

After about half an hour of accomplishing absolutely nothing, I threw my head back and groaned. Uncle Larry, who was walking into the kitchen, gave me an amused glance. "Having problems?"

"Lacking patience and motivation," I corrected. I sat up, and rested my chin on my fists, with my elbows propped on the table. "I have to write a short story for college. My topic is Ancient Egypt, and I have no idea where to start."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why not ask Ahkmenrah? I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

"Ah, I don't wanna bother him," I replied unsurely.

Uncle Larry shook his head. "Trust me, he wouldn't mind. You're the first person since he came back to the museum, aside from myself, who was able to get into the tomb without getting the jackals sicked on you. And, you were the only one able to get him out."

I shrugged. "Even still."

"Would you rather stay here and work on this the old fashioned way?" Uncle Larry countered.

"You know what, I'm sure he'd love to see me again," I replied quickly, grabbing my laptop, and tossing a jacket over my arm. Uncle Larry chuckled and shook his head, and the two of us left for the museum.

Ten minutes later, the sun was down, and the exhibits were starting to come to life. It was just as wonderful and overwhelming as the previous night, and I would have liked nothing more than to just sit and talk to some of the exhibits, but I was on a mission. I strode purposefully to the Egyptian exhibit, and entered without hesitation, ignoring the two large jackal men glaring down at me. They didn't try to kill me, though, which I took as a good sign. I made my way to the back, where the pharaoh was just getting out of his sarcophagus.

"Holaha, peopsicle," I greeted.

Ahkmenrah gave me a perplexed look, seeming partially surprised to see me, and partially confused by what I said. "Pardon?"

I chuckled. "That's my way of saying 'hi'. Don't worry about it. So, how you doing, Mummy Boy?"

He raised an eyebrow at my nickname, but chose to ignore it. "I'm doing well, and yourself?"

"Well, I actually need your help with a little project that I'm doing for school," I replied. "Think you could?"

"I would be happy to assist you," Ahkmenrah agreed. "What is your project about?"

"I have to write a short story about a topic of my choice," I told him, taking out my laptop. "I chose Ancient Egypt, but I have no patience for looking through a textbook, especially not when there's an actual pharaoh I can talk to, who can probably give me stories way more interesting than the ones in the history books."

Ahkmenrah chuckled a bit, and the two of us sat on his sarcophagus. I was cross-legged, and had the laptop open on my lap.

"Plus, the books couldn't really give me the perspective I wanted," I continued.

"What angle were you going for?" Ahkmenrah asked.

"Well, first of all, I prefer writing in first person POV, but I wouldn't have been able to get enough information to really get into the head of the main character, like I need to," I told him as I pulled up Google Docs, and opened a new document for me to start writing in. "Second, I didn't want to write about the major events that happened, the things everyone already knows about."

Ahkmenrah watched what I was doing with curiosity. "Then what do you wish to write of?"

"Your daily life, your childhood, the crazy stories from when you were a kid, stuff like that," I smiled, getting more and more excited about this project. I could tell that he was, too.

"Very well, I have a few stories that you probably wouldn't believe," he replied, a spark in his eyes daring me to top him.

I smirked. "I highly doubt that. Besides, if anyone has a few unbelievable stories, it would be me."

"Well, let's just see who has the better story," Ahkmenrah challenged.

"You're on," I agreed. "What's the winner get?"

"You'll just have to see, when I win," the pharaoh replied cockily.

I snorted, and crossed my arms. "Oh, you're going down. You go first, though I actually do need to hear your stories."

Ahkmenrah began one of his stories from his childhood, about the time that he and his brother almost caused a mass panic because they hid away in the commoner's living area for almost the entire day, until someone finally found them. I laughed, and wrote his words almost as quickly as he spoke them. When he finished, I told him how I stole a stuffed alpaca from my seventh grade English teacher, then was able to talk my way out of it. This was also how I met my gang, and started earning their respect, working my way up the ranks, though I was the youngest.

We went back and forth, both of us telling the other outrageous and hilarious stories, though it was clear that Ahkmenrah was starting to take the lead. I was going to have to pull out the big guns.

"I robbed a bank once, dressed as a purple banana," I told him offhandedly, like I was talking about the weather.

"What?!" The look on the pharaoh's face was priceless, and the two of us burst into laughter.

"It's true! I only got a hundred bucks, cause I had to split it with the rest of the gang, but even still. That's basically how I got to be leader. That, and I terrify them," I said with a snort. "Anyway, I orchestrated the whole thing, I was a purple banana, and there was also a green gorilla, a clown, Santa, and a horse costume, separated into two pieces. Basically, the six of us distracted everyone else, while two others snuck around back and grabbed a bunch of cash. Then, the eight of us fled the bank, hopped into the trunk of the getaway truck we were using, and made it back to the base, and the cops never found us. It was freaking hilarious, and still stands as the craziest, stupidest, most celebrated victory our gang has ever known. I actually have a pic of the nine of us."

I pulled out my phone, and searched through my photos, until I found the selfie I took. I was in the middle, with all of my purple banana glory, along with the green gorilla, two horse halves, the sneaks who stole the money, and the getaway driver. Those of us who went in were all wearing masks, but we had them pulled up so you could see our faces, grinning widely as we showed our loot off to the camera.

Ahkmenrah tried to keep in his laughter, but failed, miserably. I joined his merriment, and it took the two of us a while to sober enough to speak. When he did, Ahkmenrah gave me an odd look. "But, isn't thievery illegal?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it is. That was the worst thing we did, though, and we returned half the money. But, I was living in Chester, and the really bad part, too. That was just the way of life for us. And we loved it." I smiled wistfully, thinking of my gang, and the crazy times we shared. "We came up with the weirdest nicknames for each other, too. Dark Matter Moose, Loke -well, I called him Punching Bag- Llama, Cruiser, Reeyan Pistachio Microwave, Grass Pigeon, Zander. Oh, and Ling Choy the Asian Drug Dealer. Don't question that last one, it's complicated."

"What was your name?" the pharaoh asked.

I smirked. "I was Demoni, which is Finnish for Demon. Because I was recognized as the evillest, cleverest, and most likely to hurt you if you annoyed me. Which worked out well in my favor. But, it was also because I knew a lot of ways to kill and torture, and I frequently told the others about it, quite happily, too."

"Why?" Ahkmenrah chuckled.

I shrugged. "Well, I'm a writer. The good ones are inherently evil. I had to do a lot of research for torture, different ways to kill, how to fight, different poisons, how long it took a person to die in certain circumstances, etcetera. I found it really interesting, though. My favorite would either have to be the Blood Eagle, from the vikings, or the Brazen Bull."

"I'm not familiar with them, can you elaborate?" Ahkmenrah gave me a curious look.

My eyes lit up with a devilish glint. "Well, the Blood Eagle was where they tore your back open, and splayed out your ribs one by one, until it looked like it an eagle opening its wings, and, of course, it was all bloody, hence the name. The thing was, though, if the person being executed made any noise during this, they went to Hel. And the Brazen Bull was a big metal bull, with a hollow center, just big enough to fit a person in, and it locked from the outside. So, the person would be put in, right? And then. they would light a fire under the bull, slowly roasting the person to death. What made it really cool was the fact that, because of the way the bull was shaped, the person's cries of pain sounded like the bellowing of a bull."

Ahkmenrah listened with a horrified fascination, seemingly startled that I could be that dark. "That is disturbingly interesting."

"I know, right?" I chuckled, smirking. "Like I said, they called me Demon for a reason."

"Well, I believe we can both agree that you won our little contest," Ahkmenrah said, laughing as well. "What's your prize?"

I glanced at the clock on my computer, and saw that it was almost time for the sun to rise. Biting my lip, I glanced back up at the pharaoh sitting expectantly next to me. What I did next was something that neither of us expected. Acting on instinct, I leaned over and pecked his cheek, before standing up and collecting my stuff, trying- and most likely failing- to keep my composure. "That's my prize. Thanks for your help, Mummy Boy."

Ahkmenrah sat, stunned, and didn't respond. I began to walk out, but glanced over my shoulder just before I left the tomb. "Good morning. I'll see you later."

The pharaoh simply nodded, and I turned and left, my face beet red, not believing what I just did.

A/N- Is it bad that I research torture/murder/poisons in my spare time? XD

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