Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize from JK's work, bc I'm just a poor girl with no money and no life c:

Chapter 21 - Say Something, Anything

I don't wanna hear you've got a boyfriend,

Sometimes you're better off alone,

But if you change your mind you know where I am,

But if you change your mind you know where to find me,

Cause I don't ever wanna be your boyfriend

- Panic! At the Disco, Girls-Girls-Boys

A sharp rap on the door.

"Come in."

They filed into the circular office behind their stern Head of House, all nervous eyes and scared expressions, and stood in a line in front of the smooth desk where Professor Dumbledore was seated. His normally twinkling blue eyes were serious as he regarded the five students.

"You asked to see them, Albus," Professor McGonagall said, giving them all disapproving looks as she pursed her thin lips.

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Minerva."

She smiled slightly before departing.

The Headmaster's gaze fixed on each sixth year in turn. "I take it that one of you are hurt?"

They all shook their heads, choosing to avoid mentioning the Marauders' scrapes which had since been healed.

"Good. Now would you care to explain what happened last night?" His voice was firm but not angry.

Lily started, playing with a strand of her tangled, fiery hair. "I was looking for James last night and so I headed up to the boys' dorm."

James hadn't known that and frowned at her slightly, wondering if that meant she was still having nightmares.

"It was empty but then I found-"

Sirius widened his grey eyes in horror and tried to tell her to stop talking. She saw his glance and understood - no one knew about the map.

"I found their coats were gone," she said, hastily correcting herself as he looked back at Dumbledore.

"Going back to Mary and Marlene, I convinced them to look for the boys with me."

Marlene spoke up then, hands trembling slightly. "We saw them out of the window, by the Whomping Willow," she said, lying confidently. "So we went down to tell then off."

Dumbledore chuckled at that, and they all relaxed a little.

"When we got there, Peter told us to get away and then James and Sirius arrived and-"

"- and also told them to run " James interrupted, ringing his hands. One wrong word and they could be in Azkaban. "We all tried to get away. Moon-Remus was somehow out of the Willow, it hadn't unfrozen after we'd got out. He charged over and Lily was trying to get him away with a spell. If - if she hadn't, Mary would probably be dead."

Lily looked at James with her almond shaped eyes with a surprised look - he rarely genuinely complimented her. James smiled back softly as Sirius took over.

"I worked with Peter to keep Remus away from Mary while Marlene, James and Lily took her up to the Hospital swing. Peter ran up after them once we'd forced Remus back inside the Willow and secured him. I then returned to the dorm because I was tired." His voice was very closed off and tense, and Marlene could see a muscle jumping in his jaw. "That's all."

Dumbledore went silent for a moment, contemplating and turning over what he had been told with steepled fingers, elbows on his desk.

"You will each receive detentions for one week every night, along with 20 points taken from Gryffindor - each. Miss MacDonald and Mr Lupin will not receive any punishments as I think they have been punished enough already," he said sternly. "Please report to Professor McGonagall for the details of your detentions."

All five of the pupils turned to leave.

"One more thing..."

Peter turned back apprehensively, as did the others.

"For your bravery and courage when in danger last night, I award Gryffindor House 30 points. Not everyone would have the nerve to hold off an angry werewolf." His periwinkle blue eyes were twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. "You are dismissed."

The Gryffindors scurried out, a mixture of relieved, scared and, in the case of Sirius, furious.

Dumbledore stayed exactly where he was, eyes trained on their backs: he knew there was something they weren't telling him. He had seen the Marauders in his office enough times over the six years they had been at Hogwarts to know when they were lying and the old man's intuition was rarely off. They had a secret, a very large one, and while he doubted they would ever tell him, he couldn't deny he was curious.

Once they were far enough away from his office to not be overheard, Sirius turned on Lily in anger.

"So you convinced them to go outside with you, huh? You're the reason for this whole fucking mess?" he demanded, jabbing a finger at her shoulder. He couldn't get the image of Marlene frozen with fear in front of him, terrified. And that was Lily's fault.

Lily gaped at him, having never been at the receiving end of his uncontrollable anger. The tall boy with his stormy eyes and clenched fists towered over and her she would be lying if she had said she wasn't scared at that moment.

"Padfoot!" James snapped, "Back off."

"She is the reason Remus feels like shit! She is the reason her friend is lying in a hospital bed! She is the-"

"Oh shut up," Marlene interrupted even as Sirius tried to continue. "You were the reason that Mary was hurt just as much as Lily. It was everyone's fault and no one's fault at the same time, dipshit. Leave Lily alone!"

"It was not my fault!" Sirius growled.

"NEITHER WAS IT LILY'S! Stop being such a pig-idiot, Black, everyone was responsible," Marlene retorted, folding her arms across her chest.

James spoke up. "She's right. There are so many people to blame. I left the Map out, Peter could've warned us sooner, you could've not been so focused on Marlene."

If she hadn't been so angry she might've blushed, but instead she ducked her head until the heat died down.

"You can't blame one person," James repeated once he had calmed down. He didn't want to fight.

Marlene shot Sirius look before stalking off angrily. Sirius followed after her with a dark expression and the others gaped after them.

"He's either going to kill her or shag her and which ever one it is, I really don't want to be her right now," Lily remarked, leaning against the wall.

James snorted and Peter his a smile.

"Sorry about Padfoot," the shorter boy said apologetically, "We're kind of used to it now bit I guess that was a bit of a shock."

"It isn't your fault, Evans," James continued, "Honestly. I shouldn't have let you stay, we should've got you lot out of there straight away and-"

"Potter, it's okay," Lily smiled, and James breathed a sigh of relief.

"Come on, it's time for breakfast," she continued warmly, hooking her arm through Peter's and heading off towards the Great Hall.

"I didn't think you'd follow me," Marlene said coldly, legs crossed as she sat on the bench in the nearby courtyard.

Sirius slouched out of the shadows, hands in his pockets and shrugged as he wandered over to her. "Well I did," he muttered, sitting down.

Marlene got up as soon as he sat down and moved away with an irritated look on her face.

"Oh, so you're going to be like that are you?" Sirius said bitterly.

"Yes, seeing as you just accused Lily of being the reason behind all of this," she growled.

"A thank you would be appreciated, you know."

"For what? Being a dick?" Marlene snapped.

"For saving your life, maybe?" he retorted.

Marlene gaped at him. "Why? Why should I? That's just human fucking decency, Black, not something you need a congratulations for!"

Sirius scowled.

"You are unbelievable!" Marlene yelled, throwing her hands in the air.

"How am I?!"

"You literally don't give a shit about anyone that's not a Marauder and I for one am sick of it," she said angrily, cheeks turning red as he turned his brooding gaze on her.

"How did you work that one out?" Sirius said defensively.

She raised a thin eyebrow at him. "Because I have made my feelings perfectly clear – as clear as I can without shouting it in your face, actually – and you continue to lead me along and play me like a fucking fool, that's how!"

"You have never said anything like that, McKinnon," Sirius spat, "Hypocrite. You don't care either."

"Are you deaf AND blind?" Marlene hissed, "I fancy you, dipshit!"

"Y-you what?!" Sirius spluttered.

"You heard me," she replied coldly. "Now you have two options: admit you fancy me back or stop fucking me around. Got it?"

She was honestly so done with the boy opposite her and his damn affections. One second he could do the caring, the looking after and the understanding feelings; most of the time he was arrogant, self-centred and completely blind to anything she was doing. Seeing the danger in falling for him far too late, Marlene now had to make sure that she didn't end up loving him any more she already did.

Confused by her bluntness and her admittance of her feelings for him, Sirius could only nod vaguely and gape at her despite the fact that he knew he needed to say something now or he would lose her. Not that he ever really had her, he realized with a lurch.

"No? Are you doing anything? Saying anything?" Marlene said, face angry but eyes desperate. She shouldn't have expected anything from him: he was Sirius Black and he never admitted how he was feeling. His heart belonged to no one but himself and he didn't want that to change.

"I-I-I…"

"I'm taking that as a no."

Marlene turned to leave with her eyes glazing over, hoping beyond all hope that he would just say something, that he might just tell her to stay. But he didn't, and so she continued to walk away, wiping a lone tear from her eye.

She refused to even look at him when they were taken to St Mungo's later that day.

She refused to even acknowledge him, choosing instead to talk to Lily.

She also refused to respond to any questions from him or about him.

Sirius, on the other hand, barely looked away from her.

Guided along towards the Animal Injuries ward by a jolly nurse, the group of six walked in apprehensive silence. They had been given three hours maximum of their Thursday after lunch to visit Mary in the magical hospital in London, and while they couldn't wait to see their friend they were nervous for different reasons: Remus had obviously been the reason for her injury, and he didn't want to guilt that came with seeing her; James Peter and Sirius hadn't been able to protect her, and James especially felt like they should have been able to; Marlene had been too busy worrying over Sirius to to look after Mary; and Lily had convinced Mary and Marlene to go outside in the first place.

"Here she is," the kindly nurse said, smiling as she held open the door for the Gryffindors.

"Thank you," Lily mumbled with a small voice.

Remus lingered outside, feeling out of place and guilty as hell; he didn't think he should be there, not when he was the reason she was stuck here in the first place, not when this place radiated cleanliness and he was just a filthy monster who seriously injured his friends.

Catching on to his reluctance and painfully obvious self-loathing, all three Marauders turned at once to their friend and gave him encouraging smiles.

"Moony?" Peter said, scurrying over to him, "She will want to see you too."

He shook his head violently. "I need to go back to school. I feel sick."

James and Sirius gave each other a look, grabbed Remus firmly by each arm and pulled him into the ward where Mary and the other girls were waiting.

"Get off! Let me go!"

"Not a chance, Moony!" James said cheerily.

Mary watched with wide eyes and a pale, bruised face, Lily's hand resting on her shoulder.

Eventually, Remus gave up and allowed his friends to drag him over to Mary's crisp, white hospital bed, although his breathing was uneven and panicky. What if she hated him now? What if she told someone what he was? What if they all hated him now they had seen Mary?

Smiling up at him carefully, Mary stretched out a hand towards him and beckoned him over. He didn't want to go but Lily coughed loudly to attract his attention and raised her eyebrows at him. Remus sighed before he edged forwards towards the blonde in the bed.

"Hey," she whispered, flashing him a nervous, tired smile.

Ducking his head in shame, Remus ran his fingers along the stuff material and didn't answer. James, Sirius and Peter backed away, Marlene and Lily following their lead leaving the guilty Remus and the worried Mary alone.

"Why does he blame himself?" Lily asked sadly, playing with the ends of her knotted hair.

James pushed his glasses up his nose as he shrugged and sighed. Sirius didn't respond as he was seemingly focused on kicking his shoe against the wall and casting side-long glances at Marlene who was stead vastly glaring at a painting. Peter just gave Lily a sad look. They waited in silence after that.

"Mary, I-" Remus started but was cut off by Mary placing her pale hand over his moth.

"Lupin honestly, if you're going to apologise I'll refuse to buy any chocolate for your birthday," Mary laughed.

"No, no, I got you hurt! I-" He lowered his voice so no one would overhead. "I hurt you."

"Yes, you did," she said honestly, "But it was out of your control and it was our fault - mine, Lily's, Marlene's, your ridiculously kind friends. Not you. Hear me?"

"I hear you, but-" he said reluctantly although admittedly feeling better for knowing she didn't want him dead or something equally as horrible.

"Good," Mary said with a smirk, cutting him off again. "Now I know about your monthly problem I am never ever going to complain about period pains again," she added, trying to cheer him up a little.

Remus let out a nervous, relieved and slightly hysterical burst of laughter. Laughing too, Mary pushed herself upright with the help of a nurse who had raced over (apparently she was healthier - or more stubborn - than he looked).

"OI! You lot! I want more company than just Lupin," she called and James poked his scruffy head around the door frame.

"Yeah?"

"Come on!"

They filed back in slowly, giving Mary and Remus encouraging smiles, which Mary returned and beckoned them over enthusiastically.

"I seriously need some entertainment, oh my God. You have no idea! The heads are nice and all but everything is white and far too quiet!"

"Mary," Marlene laughed, "You've not even been here 24 hours and you're complaining!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "How are you doing, anyway? Apart from the boredom, of course, we all know you hate that."

Pondering over the question for a moment, Mary tilted her head to one side as she thought. "I'm not too had actually. My shoulder hurts if I move it too much, there might possibly be some scars and oh my God everything aches. But other than that, I'm good actually. My mood is good, anyway. Should be back at school in a day of two, week at most."

Sobered again by the reality of the injuries his claws had caused - scars, he'd given her permanent scars - Remus gulped, Adam's apple bobbing in his thin neck as he looked down at the floor. Reaching out an arm, Lily took his shaking hand in her own and sent him a kind smile; she understood why he felt so guilty because hat was how she felt too, only for slightly different reasons. Surprised by Lily's gesture, Remus almost pulled away but relaxed and tried to let her know he appreciated the support by squeezing her hand back.

Behind them, James was boiling with useless (and admittedly ridiculous and pointless) jealousy. He knew Remus didn't like Lily that way, but that didn't help at all. He also knew he should be worrying over Mary and not Lily but again that did nothing to allay his fears. And he definitely shouldn't be glaring at Remus, because he was only getting worked up. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and Marlene giggled. James transferred his glare to them both in turn.

"So, uh, how did they cover up the fact that your shoulder was ripped open in the grounds of Hogwarts?" Peter piped up for the first time, having been completely in awe from seeing the magnificence of St Mungos for the first time.

Mary frowned as she tried to recall what Dumbledore had told her. "If I remember correctly then it's supposed to be from a rabid dog that was roaming around the Forbidden Forest or something," she shrugged, and help back a small hiss of pain as her shoulder was jolted by the sudden movement. Despite her enthusiasm, she had still been seriously injured only the night before and the nurses were more worried than they were letting on.

Their three allocated hours passed in a flash: in the beginning, everything was rather forced, everyone trying not to upset the others and stunting conversations but eventually they relaxed and got used to their surroundings so the discussions and jokes flowed more easily, and were far more enjoyable. Far too soon, McGonagall returned to take them back to Hogwarts, promising that if they were well behaved – she directed her stern gaze to Sirius and James at this point – they could come back the next day.

Mary seemed cheered by that and let them go without much fuss and a slightly despondent wave.

Because they were all still in massive trouble (apart from Remus, who had been assured he was not responsible), McGonagall watched them carefully as they were sent back to Hogwarts via the hairbrush Portkey Dumbledore had set up for them. Remus went last, shooting one last look back towards Mary's ward. McGonagall followed before sealing the link between the London Hospital and the distant school; once she reappeared in the corridor outside the Headmaster's office, she stopped the pupils from leaving.

"Please remember your detentions tomorrow evening – straight after dinner, all of you. No exceptions." At that she glared at James and Sirius: James grinned back and Sirius scowled at the stern looking professor.

"Off you go now, you still have afternoon lessons," she continued, but her voice wasn't harsh any more. She had realized that while they were brave to the point of reckless (with perhaps the exception of Peter), they had all faced something many adults would tremble at and shouldn't be punished too harshly. She noticed that Marlene looked particularly shaken.

The group hurried off towards Gryffindor Tower to collect their school bags, not wanting to anger their Head of House any further than they already had, unaware of what she was thinking about.

"Evans," Sirius called, running a hand through his straight hair nervously. He was rarely nervous and it only tended to happen when he was around Marlene or when he was apologizing. Obviously this was a case of the latter due to the fact that Marlene had been ignoring him. "Evans," he repeated when Lily didn't answer him immediately.

Of course, Lily was still upset and hurt – she considered Sirius a friend even if she didn't get along so well with James, and hearing him blame her for her other friends being injured stung a lot. And Lily Evans was a proud woman; she was also an exceptionally kind one, despite her pride. Turning around slowly, she looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Lily," he corrected when he beheld no coldness in her emerald eyes. "I'm sorry, you know, for accusing you of everything. It wasn't your fault."

Everyone else continued on towards their Common Room except Marlene, who watched in stony silence, arms folded tightly across her chest.

Surprised by his admittance of his wrongdoing, Lily raised an eyebrow quickly but smiled in a forgiving way before stepping forwards and giving him a warm hug. Sirius stiffened momentarily, unused to spontaneous hugs or affections. Nonetheless he soon relaxed and let out a small sigh of relief.

Still hugging the taller boy, Lily also sighed. "I'm just glad you're all okay. Mary too. I don't blame you for blaming me, if that makes sense. You were upset and looking for someone to yell at. You care about the others too much to yell at them, it's a flaw we all have."

He wanted to protest – he cared about Lily lots – but could only nod dumbly, not sure why she was forgiving him so easily, still knowing he wasn't going to complain about it.

Marlene's chilly glare turned ice cold and her bright blue eyes froze over as she watched her friend forgive Sirius. It wasn't the forgiving she was furious about, or even the embrace because Merlin knows she wasn't jealous. It was the fact that Sirius Bloody Black had been so bloody quick to apologise to Lily, so bloody ready to try and make things better between him and Lily yet he couldn't say a word when she begged him to speak.

"Lily," she called out, voice level even as her piercing gaze bore into Sirius and wavered. "We need to go."

And so she turned her back on them both and stalked away, blinking furiously to disguise the tears welling up.

Lily watched her leave with sad eyes and reluctantly followed her, leaving Sirius to watch Marlene walk away again, not having a clue as to what he should do now.

Ugh so I apologise for this chapter. I think it took me like a month to write? And it's not even good or long? So yeah, bad PIAM. :c Hopefully the next chapters will be quicker/long/BETTER as school starts to wind down for the year and something very very uber dramatic happens;)

-PIAM3 xoxo