Chapter 11.
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 I can guarantee it will be. it delz wit rly sris issus! What like dodgy dress sense and self-inflicted depression? sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Understandably B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off well that's not very nice and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. Obviously!
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood seriously? Please get that checked out it starting to get a little bit creepy and then I slit both of my wrists. Well that's not going to help is it? They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. Don't do that, we're in a recession meats expensive these days! I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. Why are you so concerned about your clothes after your boyfriend just killed himself I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating He was what? to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! But you have clothes on at this point. ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel What over your clothes? with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I never thought one word could bring so much laughter, this killed me! You're too funny! I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…
Well suddenly what? Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." This story has no plot!
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" hoorah! Let's hold it against her as blackmail! If she doesn't get us out of here now we'll leak it onto YouTube!
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. Oh god! Sweetheart, you must be deficient. I mean in brain cells!
"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. Please tell me you meant to type cloak!
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.
"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. Satan? Who involved him? Typical Satan, always turns up when you don't need him!
"Because I LOVE HER!" Oh someone else loves her, what a surprise! *Cough* Mary Sue *cough cough*