Delusional

Jessylane318

Harry awoke to a gathering of hobbits in his room. Merry and Pippin had both taken the foremost area with Frodo in between them and Sam near the back. Harry gave them a stiff smile as his arm rose into agony once more. However, he had had worse. Like that time, that seemed years ago, when Lockhart had erased all the bones in his arm.

He wondered if Lockhart had managed to escape alive.

"Er- Hi guys?" Harry said, tilting his head to the side as he looked oddly at the little people filling the room. "Can I-er help you?"

Merry and Pippin both shared a look and Harry narrowed his eyes. Was something going—no! No he wouldn't think like that. He had already gotten in enough trouble for doubting these people once. He wouldn't do it again... he wouldn't be paranoid!

"We heard about your arm-" started Pippin, but Merry elbowed him sharply in reprimand. As though to talk about that might somehow wound Harry more. Their pity annoyed him, but he tried to ignore it. They didn't mean anything by it.

"We heard about your accident, he means," explained Frodo kindly. The young wizard didn't care for their ruthless compassion a bit. "Lord Elrond and Gandalf say you won't be well enough to see us off."

Harry froze. Surely it wasn't that bad?

He remembered the puss and swelling and winced slightly. Perhaps he'd been a bit foolish to think it would just go away. Hermione would have chided him, and Madam Promfrey, the school nurse, would have made him spend the night in the infirmary.

"Oh... When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

Harry felt his shock stop his breath. Tomorrow! But surely that was to soon? Could it be December already? Hadn't it only been November just a few days ago? And for it to be the end! But why hadn't anyone told him? Why hadn't Aragorn—

"We will discuss your punishment for your behavior after your hand is seen to..."

Perhaps this was his punishment? Aragorn had never come back to see him. Whenever he awoke, no one was ever there. No one to talk to. No one to soothe him. No one to ease the pain in his arms.

No one to care.

"Oh... I didn't know," the young wizard mentioned weakly. "You'll ride at dawn then?"

"Yes," nodded Merry, obviously uncomfortable. "We had wanted to say goodbye before we left though. And, that should we not succeed..." he trailed off and Harry knew the thought was haunting all the pale little faces. He wished he could do something for them. Anything.

But he could do little.

Weak, like always.

Aragorn came at last, when the sun had begun to set, casting long shadows on the window panes and striking Harry's eyes. He, of course, could do nothing about it, unable to move except when helped to the privy, and too proud to call for help unless absolutely necessary.

The Ranger walked in wearing much the same clothes he'd seen him wear in Bree. It warmed him, and cast a cold shadow upon his heart.

"You are awake, little wizard?" inquired Aragorn, kneeling beside his bed. His black-blue eyes looked kinder than they had before, as though the coming journey lifted his spirits. Harry couldn't understand that excitement. He doubted he would ever love such danger as what visited him every year since he began Hogwarts and before it.

"Yes sir," Harry replied. Then, before he could stop himself, blurted the question that had haunted him since the hobbits' visit. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" asked the Ranger, obvious confused.

"That you were leaving tomorrow!" The startled man blinked twice before a small smile twitched at his mouth.

"Would you have cared?"

"Of course I would have-"

"You cannot join us though," cut in Aragorn with a rueful frown. "And I did not want you to think on such unpleasantness for I know you wish to help and cannot."

"I could though..." whispered Harry. He heard Aragorn sigh but only lowered his eyes. They had had this conversation enough times Harry didn't even bother trying to defy the Ranger anymore. He never won. It was always, your too young, too inexperienced, or too something...

"You cannot now, though," replied the man in kind. "So let us speak of more pleasant talk."

"Such as what?" asked Harry, rolling his eyes. What could be pleasant when he was being left behind like some pathetic woman in the fairy tales?

"I have been speaking with Arwen," announced the man. His words startling Harry for a moment. Aragorn never told Harry anything about his personal life. Whatever the little wizard learned, he learned from either Bilbo or the whispers of elves. "She and her brothers have agreed to keep watch over you while we are gone. It tis a high honor, indeed."

"I suppose no one else offered?" Harry ventured with an ironic tone. "The elves would care not if I were squished out of existence."

"Perhaps you should not have cut so many of their locks," answered Aragorn dryly. "I imagine you are lucky at least, that some have a sense of humor. The elves are vain about their beauty and their hair is no different. What you did was rude."

"But my wand-"

"You should have asked," replied the Ranger. "But since you did not, it is of no consequence now. You shall remember this lesson I hope?"

"Yes sir."

"Good," smiled the man. Harry tried to smile back but the pain from his arm made his mood somewhat sour and unpleasant. "There is one more thing I should much like to speak with you of."

"Yes?"

"Should Frodo and the ring fall into the hands of Sauron," Harry gasped at the idea. Surely not! But Aragorn continued anyways in a grim fashion. "Should this happen, I have asked Lord Elrond to take you with him to the undying lands. It is the land of the Valar and home of the Istari. I ask, that should we fail, that you will hurry with him to cross the great sea. Perhaps as a wizard yourself, you will be allowed safe passage."

"But I don't want to go there!" Harry retorted, how could he ask such a thing? "I want to stay with you! I don't want to live with the elves, they're old and uptight and most of them hate me!" He had already lived with people who hated him once, he didn't want to repeat the process. Would the elves lock him in a cupboard too? Would they refuse him food as well?

"Do not say that," commanded Aragorn suddenly with anger and authority. "Should Sauron win and regain the ring of power, all hope is lost. Leave this forsaken land. Leave and ask the Valar to return you to your home."

Harry closed his eyes. He wouldn't go. He wouldn't leave his friends! He couldn't! Not again...

"Forgive me Harry," spoke the man suddenly weary. "It has been a long week and the fellowship leaves at dawn. I should leave you... But... Should we succeed. I-" the man stuttered for a moment here and Harry couldn't help but stare at the man in awe with a little trepidation. "Should we succeed, I would like for you too-"

He cut off when a knock came to the door and Lord Elrond entered.

"My lord," bowed Aragorn, cutting off as he showed respect the elf lord.

"Estel," smiled Elrond. "And Harry," the smile lost much of it's flavor then. "It is time for the young wizard to sleep. Is there anything you'd like to say before you part?" Put that way, Harry could feel a list of things coming to mind. So many questions like where was Aragorn born, why did he eats the potatoes without butter but uses so much salt? They all tumbled through his mind for a moment before Harry settled on a blank nod.

Looking expectantly at the Ranger, Harry wondered if he would continue his words. But the tall man simply blushes and ducks away.

"No, sir. I was just leaving," He turned to Harry then, and Harry only then noticed how red the pale face really was. And how dark the blue eyes appear. "Good Night little wizard."

Harry bid the man goodnight before drinking that foul potion, a look of distaste towards Elrond.

Disgusting stuff. Perhaps the Elf Lord was attempting to poison him with nasty drinks? He wouldn't put it past the angry elf. With that, he fell swiftly to sleep.

Harry was not awake to see the fellowship off. They left without warning or goodbye, except the ones from earlier, which to Harry, quickly seemed little enough. So many perils wrought the journey ahead, it could be well expected that they all died in the quest. In fact, it was unlikely for any to return home.

The thought suddenly disturbed him and left him perturbed.

Why hadn't he said more? Why hadn't he hugged Sam as the hobbit had wished? Boromir had wanted to visit, but Harry had been too busy to hear him. Too disheartened by the prospect of his only friends farewell. And now he was alone.

Utterly and completely alone.

But when was he not?

A few days after the fellowship's departure, Harry was allowed to leave his bed. His arm, though, was still unsettlingly sore. Perhaps it was Lord Elrond retribution? However, if he ever wanted to be of any use to anyone, he would need to train and make his wand.

Someone, obviously, must have understood that, for they left three strands of long black hair that waved and curled at the ends. He didn't know who the pieces belonged to, but for some odd reason, they looked familiar.

Of course, the person who left them must have been exceptionally vain. To think their hair might be the one not tried? Probably an elf. Only, there weren't any elves who truly liked Harry, or so he thought, with the exception of maybe Lady Arwen and the young Lord Elrohir.

But he set out to crafting a wand with a single of the three hairs and oak.

Oddly, after ten fire spells, the wand still did not flare as expected.

The experience was exhilarating. He'd finally found the correct core! At once he set about to making the perfect wand, using holly and two of the mysterious hairs. Rumors filtered the marble and majestic halls of Lord Elrond of the cause for his inexplicit joy.

"Come little wizard," spouted Elrohir from beside his brother Elladan. "You've suffered over that goblet a week since you were released from bed. The Lord of the Kitchens worries you shall set alight all his fine ale and wines. Let us go and spar, I wish to test your wellness!"

"Ah. Then know I am well enough to kill a blind snake and leave me in peace," Harry replied in kind. He almost laughed at the strangeness of the words. Since when did he talk like that? To much time around Bilbo, most likely. The little hobbit had passed the days with him and was never to be found far.

"A blind snake, you say?" inquired Elladan curious as elves are prone to be. Harry recognized his voice as being more gruff than his brother's and did not turn from his work. "Did you blind it as well?"

"No. I only stabbed it in the mouth."

The two elves snorted in amusement.

"And why not simply hack off it's head, as young mortals such as yourself are prone to do?"

"Because, I was busy trying not to be eaten," Harry replied distractedly. He waved the wand at the flame and watched it snuff out as though a candle stick. Making certain the last traces of fire were gone, the green eyed boy thrust his hand into the ornate goblet, covering it with the alcohol.

"What are you-" He didn't answer, instead moving his wand and calling forth the flame.

"Incendio..." He heard the twins gasp and smirked in triumph. Ignoring the pain from the heat, Harry lifted the fire upwards, watching it dance just above his hand. He kept it there with some difficulty, breathing heavily after only a few seconds when it dropped. Harry gasped in pain at the burn, his eyes watering as he scowled, quickly banishing it away.

"Oh my! Very well done," replied a voice, neither Elladan or Elrohir. Turning, he looked up to see Bilbo clapping from the doorway. "I hadn't thought you'd manage it." Harry grinned in achievement. He had succeeded just as he had said he would! He wasn't weak or stupid! He wouldn't be left behind again!

"So you'll give me the maps?" Harry asked before he realized the company he was in.

"What maps?" Elrohir asked suddenly, voice suspicious. Harry could have cursed his folly. The twins would hardly let him follow after the fellowship, they'd been shadowing him already since the group left.

"Maps of Rivendell!" Harry invented instantly, only to realize exactly how lame that sounded. All three stared at him, and Harry ducked his head to hide a blush. "Er... Kind of..."

"Indeed, kind of," mocked Elladan with annoyance. "What do you take us for, trolls? You're planning on following the fellowship!"

"Quiet!" Harry hissed, glaring at the twins before looking quickly about himself. "Someone will hear!"

"Then let them hear," glared Elladan, his black hair swinging mockingly behind him as he raised his voice. "Aragorn told you specifically to stay!"

"Aragorn is not my father! He doesn't command me." Elrohir opened his mouth to reply when his brother beat him to it.

"And what would your own father say?" asked the elf. He heard Bilbo gasp lightly and felt his own stomach twist in a painful knot.

"I wouldn't know," Harry replied coldly, ignoring the painful lump in his throat and the tears stinging his eyes. "My parents were both murdered."

He turned away, clutching his wand tightly and heard Bilbo in the background saying something he couldn't quite make out. He felt angry, furious even! He needed to get out, needed to get away. Picking up his speed, he ran from the hall, ignoring the people around him as he tried to get away.