A/N1: It sucks but you can't flame it. I try my best and so does the akatsuki. This chapter is mainly about them letting loose and enjoying themselves.
A/N2: I like this chapter because it lets me show the funny side of the akatsuki. Plus it only takes me like, five seconds to come up with stuff.
It only took the akatsuki members a few minutes to get to the small village where they usually went to drink. Deidara told Hidan he had an idea. Usually they didn't get along, but if Deidara has a scheme, Hidan usually wants to be in on it.
They all entered a small bar. Everyone went to opposite sides the moment they went in. They all walked over to the bar stools and each of them took a seat. The bartender walked out of the back room with a smile on his face. It quickly faded as he saw his customers.
He walked over, a bead of sweat dripping down his neck. "So, what can I get you guys" he said nervously. He walked down the row getting everybodies orders when Deidara stopped him. He held out a blue pill and Hidan held out a red one.
"You'll put the red one in his beer" he said pointing at Itachi, "and the blue one in his" he said pointing at Tobi "do it or they'll be finding your body two counties down floating in the river." He took the pills with a look of utter fear on his face.
Deidara and Hidan stayed at the bar while the others went and sat at tables. "You still haven't told me what that was about Deidara" Hidan said suddenly. "Well Itachi never drinks enough to get really drunk. I thought I'd give him a push in that direction. Now Tobi, I just wanted to mess with. Just wait, you'll see" Deidara said. He watched as the bartender dropped the pills in Itachi and Tobis drinks.
Konan was having a heated discusion about Pein being a god with Itoshi. Everyone else was drinking and watching them argue. There was nothing out of the ordinary for awhile.
20 beers each several arguments, and a change of underwear for the bartender later.
The pills were obviously starting to work. Deidara looked at Hidan. "Th...th...hic...the pills should be working now" he said. Hidan looked at Tobi, nodded, and said "lets start with him."
They walked over to Tobi and sat behind him. They watched his head rock back and forth. The pills were definitely working. Hidan did a hand sign and a shadow clone that looked like Tobi appeared in the stool next to him. He went and sat next to he real Tobi. The real Tobi looked at the other Tobi for a moment, smiled, and finished the last of his beer.
Deidara smirked and walked over to him. It was time to put his plan into action. "I only saw one bottle of whiskey left and I thought Tobi should get it" Deidara said to Hidan. "Thanks" both Tobis said. "No it's mine" they said in unison "no mine... stop it."
They both stood up. "If I'm gonna get that whiskey, I'm gonna have to get through myself first" the real Tobi yelled. Deidara stood back to watch the show. The other Tobi stood up and yelled "I'm gonna make me eat those words!!!!!" The real Tobi shook his fist and yelled "C'mon I'm nothing but a pussy!!!!"
They jumped at each other smashing a bar table. They rolled around on the debris. Pein walked out of the bathroom as the fake Tobi exploded. "What's going on here" he asked.
Tobi looked up at him and said "I'm kickin my ass." Pein stared at him for a moment before saying "Your too drunk, go sit in the corner."
"If I would just learn to shut my damn mouth, then I wouldn't have had to kick my ass" Tobi screamed from the corner. "God I've tried to explain that so many times" Deidara said. "Deidara shut up and sit down" Pein replied.
Pein was about to sit down when Itachi passed out. He stared at him on the floor for a minute before he sat down. "Dammit Deidara" he said "who else did you drug."
"Noone" Deidara replied. Pein frowned at him. "Tomorrow you, Casana, and Tobi will go to that new village that's trying to become one of the great nations for a punishment mission" he said.
"Awwwwwwww, not the village hidden in the wheat. It's just a wanna be village. It's name even sounds stupid" Deidara whined. He was going to hate this for sure. He made up his mind to do anything to ge out of it but that dream was crushed when Pein looked at him and said he was going to do it no matter what.
Casana slapped him in the back of the head. "Now I'm in trouble" she said angrily. Everyone drank about 10 more beers before Pein said it was time to leave. Reluctantly Kakuzu left 500 dollars on the counter for their 420 beers (200 dollars less than the actual price).
They all made the trip home, Pein carrying Itachi. They got to the hideout and everyone went to bed. It was already past 2:30 a.m. so there was no use staying up. They all, one by one disappeared into their rooms, ready for a good nights sleep.
The room is pitch black. A door opened and white light shot into the room so that three chairs are visible.
The middle one is ten ft. off the ground and is the highest. The one on the right is six ft. off the ground. The one on the left side is five ft. off the ground and is the lowest.
As two butoski members step into the middle of the room a small light illuminates the very middle of the room. A pair of eyes open in each of the seats. One of the two standing in the light gets on one knee.
"Sir" said the one still standing. "Yes" said the person in the middle seat. "Ginta is ready to report on his latest mission" he said glaring down at him. "It better be good news" said the person in the right seat.
Ginta swallowed hard before starting. "We went to check the five tail sighting and were disappointed with what we found" he started. He winced as he saw his leaders eyes, filled with anger, fall upon him. "W...w...we arrived on scene to find everything in chaos. The battle sight was deserted. The akatsuki must have got there before us. We found the nine tail jinchuriki but we failed to capture him as well."
He suddenly gasped for air as he was lifted from the ground. The pair of eyes in the middle seat were gone. A butoski member, obviously the one who was previously sitting in the middle chair, was holding Ginta by the throat above his head.
His outfit was like the others only his cape was longer and it was red. His shoulder pads had spikes all over the top of them. He also had spikes running down the arms of his shirt.
"Care to explain why" he started, his grip tightening "or should we wait for Horoine to get here so he can do it."
"He's dead" Ginta said between gags. The butoski leaders grip loosened so Ginta could tell him how his 5th ranked man was killed.
Once Ginta caught his breath he started again. "Gasp... gasp...w...we killed several anbu black ops. I tried to take on the jinchuriki but he had eight tails and quickly overwhelmed me. Horoine stepped in and stopped him. The copy ninja came and put a chakra seal on the jinchuriki. Horoine tried to take the jinchuriki afterwards and got pulled into a fight with the copy ninja. Then more jonin from the leaf showed up. He killed one and fatally wounded the copy ninja but the combined strength of he and the one known as Might Guy was too much. The Hokage of the leaf showed up to heal the copy ninja, and that's when I left."
He stared at Ginta for a moment. Then he threw him across the room and said "get healed and start training, you'll need."
Some one died. You know who it was. Kakashi is hurt. Guy is helping. Asuma already died in a fight with Hidan in the actual series. That's right. Bye bye Kurani. Just pointing it out. She's gone. Never saw her in this story, never would have, never will now.