AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! We've already established that fact, you say it at the start of every chapter! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! Well that was the shortest fight in history! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! Yh guys he trin 2 be gofik!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I'm going to nail the fucking lid down soon! I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. And she's finished, on with the story then. Not like you could call it a story!

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Ebony is suddenly and violently attacked from behind by a masked woman brandishing a shovel, she repeatedly hits her round the head. Well I did warn you. Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. This bitch won't die! We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what(SEX!) to a Linkin Park song.) and Draco only lasted until the first chorus!

Well anyway I went down to the Grate all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. And we're back to 2001! Wait does that mean that the whole "grunge" look is back in? well I am not wearing ripped denim and tie dye thank you very much!

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. If someone designed an outfit based on what a train wreck looks like that would be it! Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. Really? In the middle of the hall? In front of everyone? Keep that for the bedroom please! We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi. You've already mentioned that.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. What, you don't even know who your own headmaster is? e had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation so how did you know the colour of his skin? and he had died his hare black.

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. ell we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. Me niether! Neva mind babes, we goffs stick togeva rite?

"BTW you can call me Albert." ? HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. Robots in disguise! Oh you mean Transfiguration? We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. What's with all these really short sentences? I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) have you not learned from last time? I still have the shovel you know. but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry. You say that as if it's news!