Chapter 5-A Different Side-
I was in the library working on a Transfiguration assignment with Remus. We were partnered to do a project on Human Transfiguration. I was glad to be working with Remus; since I had been at Hogwarts we had made a good connection. Remus was practical and we both loved books.
"So Lily, how did your family handle finding out you were a witch?" He asked.
"Well, they were rather shocked. I was too, mind you." I said.
"Probably afraid people might find out?" Remus asked nicely.
"Well, my mum was. She's a bit of a socialite." I said.
She's more like social climber, and that's putting it lightly.
"I imagine she thought that it wasn't very 'lady' like." He said.
Remus' emphasis on lady caused me to shift in my chair.
"I suppose…" I said.
Remus was staring right at me, and I was having trouble looking into his eyes.
"So Remus, you're from a pure blood family?" I asked trying to look casual.
"Yes, so are James and Sirius." He said.
Remus continued to stare at me for a couple of minutes before he let out a long sigh.
"You're not going to tell me are you?" He asked dejectedly.
"Tell you what?" I asked.
"Tell me about your family and your blood." He said.
"You already know I'm a muggleborn." I said.
"More like a royal muggleborn." He said.
My mouth dropped open in shock. I sat in silence for a few moments staring at Remus' expecting face until I regained my composure.
"When did you find out?" I asked calmly.
"I've always known. I recognized you as soon as you walked into the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony." He said.
"Why didn't you say anything before now?" I asked curiously.
"You never mentioned it, so I thought you didn't want anyone to know. And I don't think anyone else has realized it yet. But it seemed like you didn't want people to know for some reason or another. It doesn't change the way I think of you though. You're still my friend, royal muggleborn or not." Remus said before he sent me a wink.
"Remus, I feel so….so…" I began.
"Relieved?" Remus asked.
"Yes." I said.
"I know exactly how you feel. It would be hard to have a secret that nobody knows about. You have to keep it to yourself even though you just want to tell someone, anyone, just so you don't have to carry the burden alone. I thought that if I told you that I knew about you, maybe you could talk to me about it, if you wanted to." Remus said.
He looked at me a little unsurely.
I smiled softly at him.
"Thank you, Remus." I said.
He smiled before he picked his quill up and began working again.
I sat there for a moment watching him work. I hadn't been at Hogwarts very long, but from the very start Remus had been genuinely nice to me. And it got me thinking… How is it possible that there are people who can actually care? Remus didn't owe me anything. He didn't have to say what he said, while offering me his confidence in the process. It was just such a good thing to do. And from my experience, that has become a rare quality in people.
It must have been hard on Remus before he met the Marauders. The first few days of being at Hogwarts I could tell that those boys had some type of unique bond. And it wasn't that I had to read their thoughts to find out about Remus' secret and all of their not-so-legal activities. It was in the little ways the boys seemed to glance at Remus, as if to make sure he was ok at all times. Subtle things that I doubt even they realized they were responsible for. I wonder if he ever experienced rejection for being a werewolf. How could anyone reject someone like Remus? Or maybe Remus is the way he is because he was rejected in life? I felt like I could open my heart to Remus. He, out of everyone, would be someone who would understand.
"Remus I want you to know, if you ever want to talk to me about, well, your secret, I would be willing to listen anytime." I said.
Remus looked up quickly. He glanced around our table to make sure nobody was around before he dropped his quill and leaned back in his chair.
"I thought you might know about it." He said quietly, eyes still glancing around to make sure we weren't about to be overheard.
"I'm not surprised, especially with you being a Legillimens and all. That's pretty interesting, by the way." He said.
This time I was the one to lean back in my chair.
"Touché', you never cease to amaze me Remus." I said smiling.
"Well, you intrigue me Lily Evans." Remus joked.
I left the library about twenty minutes later for Quidditch practice. I had to change and get my broom from the Head dormitories so I had to hurry. On my way down to the Quidditch pitch, Sirius stopped me in one of the halls and pulled me into an empty classroom.
"Sirius, what are you doing?" I asked startled as he pulled my arm, leading me to a chair.
"Sit." He instructed pushing me down into the chair.
"What are you doing?" I asked again.
He walked back to the door, stuck his head out and looked left and right to make sure nobody was in the hallway, and then shut the door. He had a serious look on his face as he walked back toward me.
"Listen, I know you know." He said slowly.
"What?" I asked confused.
Sirius sighed.
"Moony told us you knew about his, well, little problem every month." Sirius said.
That was fast. Remus and I had only just discussed that about an hour ago.
"I know." I confirmed.
"I don't know how you found out, but you have to swear not to tell anyone. I mean anyone, not even your friends. Nobody else can know about it." Sirius said.
"Sirius, I would never tell anyone." I said.
"Swear?" He asked.
"On my mother's life." I said.
Heh, take that mummy dearest.
Sirius smiled.
"Lily, I want you to know that I think you're a pretty great person to accept Remus. He's always had a fear about what people would think of him if they knew about him. Thanks." Sirius said.
Sirius was always joking around and being stupid, it was strange to see him so serious. He was so concerned about Remus. All of the boys were. They were unfailingly loyal to each other.
"We better hurry to practice or James will kill us!" Sirius said smiling.
Practice went pretty smooth, all four hours of it. James was a Quidditch fanatic, Tiffany was joking when she told me that. The only reason we stopped practice was because it was getting dark and the team were all threatening James' life by that point. I think James would have played into the night if it hadn't been for Tiffany's murderous attitude. I didn't mind it so much though, practices at Drumstrang were grueling.
James dismissed practice, the team having to run a lap around the pitch as he watched. As soon as practice was over I headed to the castle. Tiffany stayed behind to talk to Matt, who had summoned her. Joe and Lisa were walking together. James and Sirius had disappeared before I finished my lap.
I was in a hurry to shower, but when I turned a corner on the second floor I bumped into something and fell to the ground. I looked up to see a boy from my Herbology class, though I had no idea what his name was.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Let me give you a hand." He said.
"I'm Amos Diggory. We haven't formally met, but I've wanted to run into you for some time now." He said.
Hopefully he didn't mean that literally, especially given the condition upon which we just met.
"I'm Lily Evans." I said getting to my feet.
"I know. I make it a point to know beautiful women." He said stepping closer and looking me up and down.
What a creep! I was getting a bit nervous as the alarm bells inside my head went off. I kept stepping back but he proceeded to advance. My back hit the wall and I glanced around the hall. Nobody was around. Amos put his hands on the wall on either side of me preventing my escape.
"What do you say to coming to Hogsmeade with me? Of course I know that it is completely dull, but I can think of something we could do. Something to keep us entertained." He said.
I inconspicuously went for my wand only to find it missing! I hadn't taken it to practice with me. Merde! Et je ne sais quoi etais raisonnement limpide?
"Err, no thanks?" I said.
"Come now love, don't you want to have a good time?" Amos said as he caressed my arm.
Just then, James walked passed the hall I was in. And I thought I was inauspicious?
"James!" I shouted.
A few seconds and James peered into the hallway.
"Lily?" He asked.
"Sorry Amos, I'm going with James." I said quickly, sending James a look.
"What?" James said.
Amos turned to face James.
"You're going out with Potter?" Amos asked disbelievingly.
"Err…" I said looking pleadingly at James.
"Yes?" I said.
"Is there a reason you have my girlfriend pinned to the wall Diggory?" James said as he caught on.
I heard something and looked down the hall to see that a group of Hufflepuff girls had also came to the hall we were in and stopped to watch what was going on once they heard what James had said.
"Err, no." Amos said dropping his arms and taking a step back.
"Come on Lily, I've been looking everywhere for you love." James said.
He grabbed my hand and then quite unexpectedly, he pulled me against him and kissed me. It wasn't just a quick kiss on the cheek either. It was a full, on the lips, arms around your waist pulling you closer, blow your mind kiss. As James pulled away, he looked at me strangely. I couldn't interpret his expression though, and as the Hufflepuffs and Amos were still watching, I said nothing as he grabbed my hand and walked me to our dormitory.
As soon as we were inside the Head Common Room, James spoke.
"What just happened?" He asked slowly.
He still had a hold of my hand.
"I'm so sorry. That guy was harassing me and I didn't take my wand to practice. You walked past and I just said that I was with you." I explained.
James had the same look on his face like the one after he had kissed me.
"You do realize that Amos probably doesn't believe us? I know Diggory, and he won't give up until he gets what he wants. He's kind of Slytherin that way." James said making a grimace.
I frowned.
"Besides that, the schools biggest gossips just witnessed me kissing you and saying you were my girlfriend. So the whole school will know by tomorrow morning, if not earlier." James said.
I groaned.
"I'm so sorry, James." I said.
"I'll make it up to you somehow." I said.
James was quiet at first.
"Actually, Lily, I have a proposition for you." James said.
"What is it?" I asked.
"There is this girl who is apparently in love with me, Sirius says she's crazy. Anyways, I need to get away from her. She's sort of going into stalker mode. So I was thinking that since the whole school will think we're together by tomorrow morning anyways, we could just keep on acting like we really are. It works for the both of us, I get away from her and you get away from Amos." James said.
"Well, I guess it could work." I said unsurely.
"Alright, come on we've got a long night ahead of us." James said pulling me to the couch.
"What? Why?" I asked.
"Lily, if we are going to do this it has to seem real. Especially when we're at the 'kissing and holding hands in public', stage." James said.
"The what?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes.
"Sit." He said.
Wonder why that sounds familiar.
"Alright." I said.
"Well when is my birthday?" He asked.
"Err, May?" I guessed.
"Not even close." He said.
I sighed. He was right. I didn't really know much about him. This was going to be a long night.
We sat on the couch trying to get basic information about each other. James was really surprised to find out that I was only fifteen. We had been asking each other a lot of questions and it was getting late when I suddenly realized something…
"Uh, James, do uh, we umm, have to kiss each other?" I asked.
"I thought we already talked about this?" James said frowning.
"Oh, well about kissing, uh, I don't." I said.
My face was probably as red as my hair. Damn this fair skin.
"Its fine, you get used to it. I'll show you." James said.
I kept expecting James to lean forward but he didn't. He started telling me this funny story about Sirius pretending to sleep walk one night in their third year and Remus sending him a trip jinx that caused Sirius to fall down the boys dormitory stairs and break his leg. I was laughing and James started to twirl a piece of my hair around his finger. I didn't mind because I was feeling comfortable with James despite how close our faces were. I was still smiling about Sirius when James leaned into me and kissed me gently. I felt myself lean into him and before I realized it, James had his arms around my waist, and my hands were in his hair.
We pulled apart and we were both out of breath.
"Wow." That was all James said.
I looked at James' hair all messed up and started to laugh. I scooted away as soon as I realized our positions.
"So, what do you think our friends will say when they hear our plan?" I asked to break the awkwardness I suddenly felt.
"We can't tell them!" James said immediately.
I jumped at his outburst.
"Why not? I don't think they'd tell anybody." I said.
"It's just better if they think it's real as well. It's more convincing if our friends actually believe it." James said.
"Well, alright." I said unsurely.
I knew that when everyone found out tomorrow there would be many different reactions. Ashley would think it was sweet. Leah and Sarah would probably cheer and congratulate me. Tiffany was whose reaction worried me. I was afraid she would get angry, not because she was jealous or anything. But because she would feel like I abused her trust by not telling her. Tiffany kind of has an 'I-hate-the-male-species' thing.
The next morning at breakfast, I found out that James was right. The entire Great Hall seemed to go quiet upon our entrance. James didn't seem to mind though; he held my hand the whole time and led us to our friends at the Gryffindor table. Sirius was the first to speak.
"James, bloody hell you wouldn't believe what people are saying! They…" He trailed off, his eyes lingering on our hands.
James and I sat down together as people were pointing and whispering.
"Padfoot?" Peter asked as he waved a hand in front of Sirius' face.
Sirius didn't even blink.
"Padfoot?" Remus asked.
Sirius finally blinked and shook his head.
"I guess what everyone is saying is true then? I just thought that you would have told me, your best friend." Sirius said with a hurt look on his face.
Sirius immediately got up and left the Great Hall.
"So, how long have you been dating?" Peter asked trying to break the awkwardness.
Tiffany got up too, so fast that her pumpkin juice spilt but she just grabbed her bag and left. All day classes were hard because of this new drama and people's fascination about it. I felt miserable because Tiffany wouldn't even look at me. Sarah, Leah, and Ashley, as I predicted, were excited about my relationship with James. Though they could also tell I was sad about the cold shoulder Tiffany had been giving me all day. They all just kept telling me that Tiffany would come around eventually. But as the day progressed, I wasn't too sure about it.
During Transfiguration, Remus didn't say much to me either. We were all working on our human transfiguration projects. After about an hour, Remus finally said something other than 'would you pass that book?'.
"I just don't understand. It doesn't make sense." He whispered.
At first I thought he was talking about our project. Then I followed his gaze to James.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Remus. It just kind of happened. We were afraid of what people would think so we didn't tell anyone." I said.
"Even your friends?" Remus asked.
"Yes, especially our friends! We care about what you guys think more than anyone else." I said.
"So you thought that I wouldn't understand?" Remus asked with a hurt look on his face.
"Remus, I trust you, but I promised James we'd keep it between the two of us at first." I said.
Actually, that's not a lie. I did promise James something... Oh, who am I kidding? It still feels like a lie.
"Are you still mad at me?" I asked.
Remus' face softened.
"No. You had your reasons. I understand." Remus said.
We both looked over at James. He was sitting by himself looking out the window. Sirius was James' partner, but he hadn't shown up to class.
"Poor James." Remus said.
"Why is Sirius so angry with him? Is it because I…" I said.
"No! Lily it isn't because of you. I don't think Sirius is really angry anyways. I think he is just hurt that James didn't tell him. They always tell each other everything. James is, well, Sirius' only family really." Remus said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, the Blacks are notorious as Slytherins. They have been for many generations and they've always been rumored to be into really dark magic. Anyway, I guess it started when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor back in first year. Sirius and James were friends from day one. Sirius had never really agreed with any of his family's beliefs about blood purity. They fought about it a lot, Sirius was sort of viewed as the failure for not following the family's ways. Last year I think things got so bad for him at home that he finally left and moved in with James. Nobody else knows about any of it. But those two are like brothers. Sirius just showed up on James' doorstep one night in the pouring rain with his trunk and James just took him in, no questions asked. It wasn't until later that Sirius told us that he had run away for good. He's been with James ever since." Remus said.
I couldn't help to get a proud feeling for James. The way he just took Sirius in like that. At the same time though, I felt even worse for James. He and Sirius had a very strong bond, and despite what Remus said, it feels like I'm the very reason they aren't talking. I made up my mind to talk to Sirius.
Sirius didn't show up for dinner that night. I asked Remus where he was and Remus said that he had gone to the kitchens. Because I didn't know where the kitchens were, Remus escorted me down to them before heading back to Gryffindor tower.
"Lily? What are you doing down here?" Sirius asked when he turned around and saw me coming in.
"I was looking for you." I said sitting down across from him.
Sirius didn't say anything so I kept talking.
"Listen Sirius, I know that you and James have a strong bond. You're more than friends, brothers really, and I understand how important that is. I don't want to be the one to cause a rift between the two of you. If you don't want me dating James I won't." I said.
Sirius shook his head before making a reply.
"You're really something, you know that Evans?" He said.
"I'm trying to be serious here." I said.
He laughed.
"I can't believe you'd be willing to break things off with James because of me. James better not do anything stupid to drive you away or I'll kick his ass." Sirius said.
"Thanks?" I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not.
Sirius laughed again.
"Cupcake?" He offered me a pink cupcake.
I accepted.
"So you're ok then?" I wanted to clarify.
"I am. Though I think you're a bit self-centered to think that everything is always about you, Evans." He joked.
I rolled my eyes and enjoyed my cupcake. Now if I could only get Tiffany to come around, all would be at equilibrium.