After 'picking up' Jack Black, Dakota and the others went to Sam's house.

Dakota knocked on the front door and Sam opened up. He looked surprised when he saw his friends.

"Sam, we have our celebrity! Mr. Jack Black has graciously agreed to do the telethon!," Dakota smiled.

Sam's face broke into a wide smile, "Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Where is he?"

"In the trunk."

Dakota gestured towards the car trunk, where Jack Black could be heard pounding from inside, "Get me outta here!"

Sam's eyes widened, "You kidnapped Jack Black? That's illegal!"

"But Sam, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying Total Drama?," Owen asked.

"Kidnapping Jack Black, Owen!"

"Sam, listen," Sam turned to Dakota, "Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them."

"What, to kidnap people?"

"To work to together."

"To kidnap people?"

"Mr. Small," Tyler spoke up, "We all agreed that a celebrity is not a people."

"And now that we have a celebrity, the show's back on. Come on, Sam. Don't let these guys down now," Dakota begged.

Sam looked at his friends, who stared at him anxiously. He turned around, grabbed the door handle...

...and closed the door behind him.

"Alright. Well, what are you guys still doing here, huh?"

They all gasped.

"It's showtime!"

Everyone cheered and ran to the car.

McLean Mansion

Chris McLean and Ryan were having a fencing match.

"Nicely done, sir. As usual," Ryan commented.

Chris prepared to fight again, "En garde."

He stepped forward and hit Ryan's sword. Ryan didn't even try to fight back.

Chris then hit Ryan's left.

"Ow!"

And his right.

"Ow!"

Chris smirked behind his mask and lifted his sword.

"Ok, very nice."

Chris hit Ryan one more time on the head.

"Ow!"

"Halt! Point left!," Ennui announced.

"Well done, sir. Thank you. Thank you very much," Ryan thanked his boss.

As Chris took his mask off, a commercial came on the TV.

"And coming up next on CDE, The Total Drama Telethon. Sam Small and friends host a celebrity-studded gala, with special guest, Jack Black."

Ryan took his mask off and smiled, "Oh! He's pretty good."

Chris wasn't as happy, though. He took out his fencing sword and threw it at the TV, destroying it.

"We're going to phase two," Chris announced as he left the room.

"Yes, mr. McLean," Ennui nodded.

Ryan groaned as he rubbed his head from the pain Chris caused. Then he stopped and looked down at Ennui, "So do you think we're working for the bad guy?"

Ennui gasped.

80s Robot quickly drove the car back to the theatre.

"Hurry! The show starts in ten minutes!," Dakota yelled.

80s Robot made a sharp turn, causing everyone to be squished together.

"Where'd you learn to drive?!," Dakota said with her face pressed against the window.

80s Robot started to pull up into the theatre.

"Hang on, everyone!," Sam warned.

"WHOA!"

They arrived at the theatre just in time.

They quickly ran inside.

"Come on guys. Ok, listen up, everybody! This is it! Five minutes to curtain!," Sam announced.

Sierra walked up to him, "Sam?"

"Get ready for the opening number," he turned to Sierra, "Yes?"

"I need to talk to you about my act. I- -"

"Listen Sierra, I know you're gonna be fine. In fact, I'm sure you'll be great," he ran off, "Cody, who's up first? Come on, come on, come on! Fly in the arches!"

Sierra sighed.

9:57

"Ok, first we have the opening theme," Cody checked his clipboard.

"Of course, yeah," Sam nodded.

"You come out and introduce Owen."

"Right."

"Then we have- -TV executive at six o'clock!"

"What?"

That's all Sam could ask before he was yanked away by Veronica, "The show is a disaster, Small!"

"Veronica," Sam frowned.

"Where's the audience?"

Sam looked into the audience and gasped. There was no audience.

"I knew you guys weren't popular anymore. I should have trusted that chart. There's no one here!"

Owen walked over to them, "What about Hobo Joe?"

"Who?"

Hobo Joe was sitting in the audience with a bag and a large metal barrel, "Why does everybody forget about Hobo Joe?"

"Just a second. Cody!," Sam called his stage manager over.

"Yeah, chief?"

"Cody, did you hand out all those flyers?"

"Of course, every last one!"

Sam turned to Veronica, "Don't worry, we'll think of something!"

She grabbed him by his tuxedo's collar and looked him in the eye, "You better."

She dropped him and walked off.

"Yoo-hoo! You've got audience. It's me!," Hobo Joe frowned, "What am I, invisible?"

Cody went into Jack Black's dressing room, "Jack Black. Fifteen seconds to curtain, mr. Black."

Jack Black was tied to a chair in his room. He finally regained consciousness and saw three Kids standing in front of him, two of which were using rollers on his tuxedo.

"Hi!"

"Ah! Where am I? Why am I so fancy? What are you doing? You're ruining my look!"

"Yeah, we'll see you out there! Good luck!," Cody left.

"Stop cleaning me!"

"You sure got nice teeth, Jack Black," one of them commented.

Hobo Joe and some other hobos sat in the audience, waiting anxiously.

"We're here!"

"Start the show!"

"Ready for some kind of entertainment!"

"All right, good luck everyone, and cue Cody."

"Ok, we go live in three, two..."

ON AIR

Cody pointed at Sam who was standing behind the set.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host, Sam Small!"

Sam took a deep breath and opened the hatch in the 'O'.

"It's The Total Drama Telethon with our very special guest, mr. Jack Black! Yay!"

The set was lifted and the curtains went up as the band started playing the opening number.

B, Katie, Sadie and DJ walked onstage and started dancing. They gestured upwards, and the girls came onstage.

Girls: It's time to play the music

It's time to light the lights

It's time to meet the Kids on Total Drama tonight

They looked to their left, and the boys came onstage.

Boys: It's time to put on make-up

It's time to dress up right

It's time to get things started

Hobo Joe: Why don't you get things started?

Hobo Joe sang in the audience.

Gerry and Pete were up in the balcony.

"I always dreamed we'd be back here," Gerry commented.

"Dreams? Those were nightmares!," Pete reminded him.

They both chuckled.

All of the Kids appeared onstage.

Sam: It's time to get things started

All: On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, dramatational!

This is what we call Total Drama!

Izzy rode down in the 'O' in the title and blew her horn, only it sounded like a Tarzan cry.

Sam walked onstage in his tux, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Total Drama Telethon! We have TD Kids standing by to take your calls."

He gestured towards a larger balcony on the other side of the theatre, where several Kids were waiting to answer their phones.

One of them was even ordering a pizza, "Can I order a large pizza with ham and...?"

Sam cleared his throat, "Yes. And, boy, do we have a wonderful show for you, with our special guest, mr. Jack Black!"

A spotlight shone on Jack Black, who was still tied to a chair. He struggled to get out.

"I'm being held captive by these weirdos!"

"Now you know how we've felt for the last forty years!," Gerry commented.

Jack Black looked at the camera, "Somebody, anybody, please call the police. This is real rope!"

"Man, this 3-D is incredible!," Hobo Joe commented.

"It's real!"