Chapter 14- You Have To Face It Sooner Or Later
"Everyone's quiet this morning." Sarah said.
Remus looked at Sirius who kept glancing back and forth between Tiffany and James. Then he watched James, who was keeping his eyes on the table. Next Remus looked at Charlie, who was sitting next to Leah, and looking at me with an intense glare.
"What is going on with the four of you?" Remus asked.
James, Sirius, Charlie and I all looked at him.
"Well why don't you ask James? Mr. 'I'm too good to follow through on my promises' " Sirius said.
"Sirius, I told you I'm sorry. But not today. Would you at least try to be a little less selfish?" James said, not even looking at Sirius.
Sirius got quiet and didn't say anything else.
"So Charlie, what's the matter with you?" Ashley asked.
"Well, its just a trust thing really." Charlie said looking at me.
"I know what happened. How could you not trust me? Haven't I always been there every time you needed me? How am I supposed to protect you if I don't know what's happening?" Charlie thought to me.
I looked at him as his eyes started to water. I felt so ashamed. He was trying to check on me when he felt me pass out and then he heard everything I had confessed to James. I was so emotional last night that I didn't even know he was in my mind.
"Ecscuse me." Charlie said getting up and leaving the Great Hall.
I looked at James. He squeezed my hand and I got up as well, following Charlie out of the Great Hall.
"Charlie, can we talk?" I asked as I caught up to him outside of the Great Hall.
He turned around and pulled me into a full embrace. He completely broke down crying into my shoulder.
"I'm okay now." I whispered, hugging him tightly.
Charlie just shook his head.
"I promise you Lily, from this day forward, I will always protect you. You are my life. Without you I am not whole. You and I are forever do you understand?" Charlie asked.
"Yes. I love you Charlie, I couldn't ask for better brothers than you and Harry. And you are more like another part of me than anything else." I said quietly.
"We need to tell Harry." Charlie said.
"I don't know if that's a good idea. He might do something stupid." I said.
"He'd want to know." Charlie said as he pulled away from me and stared into my eyes.
"I guess." I said.
"And do you know how close Easter is?" Charlie asked.
"It's not like I'm going to forget anytime soon." I said.
"Have you told James yet?" He asked me seriously.
"No. How do you tell someone that?" I asked.
Charlie didn't say anything.
"After Easter, it's never going to be the same is it?" He asked.
"No, it's not." I said sadly.
"What about father? Can't you tell him about James? Tell father you don't want to be betrothed." Charlie said.
"It's too late. Mum is announcing the engagement at the annual Easter ball." I said.
"There has to be something we can do. I can't let you lose the greatest thing that's ever happened to you since you became a witch." Charlie said.
"Come on, I don't want to talk about it anymore." I said.
Charlie frowned.
"Lily, you have to tell James. He's my friend, they all are. They deserve the truth. Maybe they could even help." Charlie said.
"Charlie, please, I don't want to talk about it." I said.
"I know Lils, but I'm doing this because I love you. If you don't tell James, I will. ...I just hope you do the right thing." Charlie said.
The bell sounded and students started coming out of the Great Hall. Charlie and I turned to look toward the direction of the Great Hall before we focused back on each other.
"You have to face this Lils. There's no running away. I love you too much to let you do that." Charlie said.
He studdied me one last minute before walking past me. I turned around to watch him leave toward the Great Hall and caught James' eye as he exited. James looked at me questioningly, but I turned and walked away quickly.
"You're avoiding me." James stated as he walked into the Head Common rooms later that day.
It startled me, seeing as I was reading, and I almost jumped a foot in the air from fright. I looked up at him but no words came to mind.
"Why? Do you regret telling me?" James asked softly.
I swallowed and it seemed as if my brain kicked into gear, finally getting over the shock and coming up with a response.
"I don't regret telling you." I said.
"But you ARE avoiding me. And I want to know why. Is it something that I've done?" James asked.
"No! It's not you. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind lately." I said.
James nodded and came and sat next to me.
"Right, I understand. I was just worried that I'd done something or that you regretted telling me." James said.
I smiled and James smiled back at me. He stared at me for a couple of seconds before leaning forward to kiss my forehead. I kept smiling as he wrapped an arm around me.
"I don't understand sometimes." James said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I just don't understand how people can be so cruel." He said.
"Me either." I said.
James looked at me and stared into my eyes.
"You don't know how much it means to me that you told me. That you trusted me with that secret." James said.
"I love you." I said simply.
"I know, and I love you. But that's what scares me sometimes. What if I lose you? What do I do without you?" He said.
"I know how that feels." I said thinking about the betrothal. I had been feeling exactly that this past week.
"I'll always love you Lily. Always." James said.
I looked into the fire as James watched me. Something inside me was screaming, 'me too!', but I said nothing.
There is definately something going on between Sirius and Tiffany. Tiffany has rarely spoken to Sirius since the whole Lauren Jameson accident. Even I've forgiven him a bit. And Sirius always gets really quiet when Tiffany is around. Almost depressed looking. He still jokes with the Marauders every now and then, but besides that he rarely says anything and he just sits around the Gryffindor common room looking out the windows. And there hasn't been a prank from the group for awhile. Because Charlie has become like the fifth Marauder, I don't mind bugging him about my suspicions with the group. I found him in a corner of the Gryffindor common room by himself.
"Hey Charlie." I said.
"Hey Lils." Charlie said.
"So you and Leah are together now?" I asked.
"Yes, but you already knew that. What do you really want?" Charlie asked.
I rolled my eyes. I really have been doing that a lot recently. Personally I think I will blame Charlie. Charlie laughed, I guess he picked up on what I was thinking.
"So, has Sirius said anything to you?" I asked.
"No. But he's just depressed because Tiffany is ignoring him. He likes her." Charlie said.
"How do you know!" I asked him excitedly.
"You might be above reading peoples minds sometimes, but I'm not." Charlie said grinning.
"Charlie!" I said smacking his arm.
"What was that for? It's not like there's anything we can do about it now." He said smiling.
"What I'm wondering is if Tiffany likes him." He said giving me a look.
"Oh, no! I am not going to read her mind. I'm not invading her privacy." I said.
"But Lils, you know I'm not going to read a girl's mind! You've got to do it." He said.
"Well at least you have some decency." I said.
Charlie rolled his eyes.
"What if they like each other? You know they are both too stubborn to admit it. What if we could get them together?" Charlie said.
"Well, if they are meant to be together then it will work out for them." I said.
"Oh, please. I know you don't believe that. What about all that stuff you were doing trying to get Remus and Ashley together?" Charlie said.
"Well what about what you and Sirius were doing trying to get James and I together over Christmas?" I said.
"And aren't you happier for it?" Charlie asked.
I rolled my eyes yet again.
"Argh! Fine. But I will ask her." I said.
"Whatever works for you. But I can't see Lily Evans' curiosity not getting the better of her." Charlie said.
"I said I would ask her, if she refuses to tell me and I get annoyed, you know I will settle my curiosity once and for all." I said joking.
"That's my girl!" Charlie said laughing.
"Do you know how hard it is to tell myself to calm down when I hear you say that?" James asked walking in through the portrait hole.
"Good man, James." Charlie said clapping James shoulder as he took a seat.
"So what have the two of you been conspiring about?" James asked.
"What makes you think that we were conspiring?" I asked.
"Because Charlie is always conspiring." James said simply.
"Too true. Really though, if anyone is to blame it is the famous Marauders. I've never been quite this bad." Charlie said.
Both boys grinned. I shook my head.
"Might as well tell James the evil things you are going to do. We can TRUST James." Charlie said.
He was telling me that I had his permission to tell James about our special connection.
"I really want to see his reaction anyways." Charlie thought to me.
"Fine, but you have to help me." I thought back to him.
Charlie nodded.
"So James, we've decided to trust you on our biggest secret." Charlie said.
"And you can't tell anyone. Only one other person knows and it is our brother Harry." Charlie said.
"And Remus to some extent. He figured it out." I said.
"Well that makes a little more sense to his behavior around me." Charlie said.
"Are we still talking about what you two were conspiring about?" James asked.
"Not really." I said.
James raised his eyebrows.
"Ok, Lils and I can read each others mind." Charlie said.
"Because you are twins?" James asked.
"Yes." I said.
"I've heard of that happening with twins before. That's pretty rare though isn't it?" James asked.
"Yeah, but you see, because of it we are highly skilled at Leglimency and Occlumency." Charlie said.
James stared at us.
"So we can read your mind anytime we feel like it." Charlie said.
"That's the part Remus knows." I said.
James looked at us startled.
Charlie started laughing.
I rolled my eyes.
"Lily won't read anyones mind that she is close to because she says it is 'out of respect'. It would be 'invading their privacy.'" Charlie said.
"I on the other hand, don't feel one bit bad about reading people's minds." Charlie said with a grin.
"So you can find out anything a person has went through? See their memories?" James asked worriedly.
Charlie sat up straight giving James a strange look and then looking at me for a second before explaining things.
"Well, it's easier to read thoughts. If we went looking through memories, the person would know something was wrong. They would get a strange feeling all of a sudden. But most people can't tell when their present thoughts are being overheard." Charlie said.
"Isn't it hard to learn though?" James asked.
"Yes, it usually takes someone years. Because of our expierence with each other, we can do it." I said.
"So, it's really just a trust thing?" James asked.
"For the two of you it would be." Charlie said.
"I think he means at breakfast." I said. "Charlie and I were talking to each other then. He overheard everything I told you last night." I said.
"Yes, that's another thing. If she is sick, I get sick. And vice versa. So if one of us were to pass out, the other would feel sick and know something was wrong with them." Charlie said.
"Same with our emotions. We can sometimes feel a little of what the other one is feeling. So if Charlie is really angry I will feel angry all of a sudden and know it is from Charlie." I said.
"Unless I block her out. We've learned how to do that since we were about ten or so." Charlie said.
I nodded.
"So, before last night, Charlie didn't know?" James asked.
"No." I said.
James jumped all of a sudden a looked around at Charlie. Charlie smiled at him and nodded.
"What did you say to him?" I asked.
"Not to worry Lils. Not to worry." Charlie said.
James was smiling broadly.
"So what were you originally planning earlier?" James asked.
We filled him in.
"Well, I knew about Sirius. I think I knew before even Sirius himself knew." James said.
"So this morning when he said you didn't keep your promises, were you supposed to help him get close to Tiffany or something?" I asked.
James looked at me with an eyebrow raised.
"Perceptive isn't she?" Charlie asked.
James nodded.
"Yes, we were planning a big thing to flatter Tiffany into liking Sirius again. But, I was keeping an eye on you last night so I couldn't help him prepare for it." James said.
"Don't go through with your plan yet. Let me talk to her first." I said.
James nodded.
"But though he acts like it, Sirius isn't stupid. He'll know we are up to something. He's just got this sense for when people are lying and are being edgy. He'll know. I think I'm going to let on that I asked Lily to talk to Tiffany about Sirius. And Charlie, you can't be involved yet. I think I might have a plan that could involve you later. So for now we can't let him know that you know anything ok?" James said.
Charlie nodded.
"So is this what you guys always sit around doing? Planning out things and how not to get caught?" I asked.
"Sure. But usually its who we don't like or who has it coming to them and how." James joked.
I laughed.
"Well kids, I have a date." Charlie said getting up and leaving.
"We have quidditch practice soon." James said.
James and I decided to walk back to the Head Dorms and change for practice.
"So, Hufflepuff is out of the running for the Cup." James said.
"They couldn't find a replacement?" I asked.
"It's a rule that if a member is expelled, the team gets a dq." James said.
"A dq?" I asked.
"A disqualification." James clarified.
"Yes I know what it is, but that doesn't seem fair." I said.
James shrugged his shoulders.
"With them out of the running, and based on the points, we play Slytherin for the Cup." James said.
"Didn't you think it would come down to that anyways?" I asked him.
James smiled.
"Yes. And as much as I hate to admit it, they aren't bad now. Mainly because they don't mind to cheat. They really will do anything to win." James said.
"Well, just don't go crazy on us ok? Have a little faith in your team." I said.
"I have faith in you." James said seriously.
"Thanks." I said as I looked to the ground.
Practice was really long but it went well. We still have some time before our match against Slytherin, but James thinks we are already ready. That's what he told us after practice. The good thing is he is cutting down our practices because one, the Slytherins are trying to learn our plays by watching our practices. And two, James doesn't want to risk any injuries on us by pushing us too much. Really though, I think that it's mainly because there is not much we can do now to improve. We really are good. And I know what good is, I did play at Drumstrang.
After practice was over I got a note from Remus to meet him in the library. He was already there when I arrived.
"Hello Lily." He greeted me cheerfully.
"Hello Remus. You wanted to see me?" I asked.
Remus looked around the library to find it empty of other students.
"Yes, well I wanted to talk to you." He said.
I sat down across from him.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"Well, I really hate to bring it up, but you're sixteen now." Remus said.
"Yes." I said.
"Well have you had any word from your mother recently?" He asked.
"She is announcing it at our annual Easter ball." I said.
Remus looked shocked.
"So soon?" He asked.
"Well, I suspect that she wants me married right after our graduation. Or at least within the month." I said sadly.
"Well, what about James?" He asked.
"What about him?" I asked.
"Don't you love him?" Remus asked.
I nodded.
"Does he know about this plan of your mothers?" Remus asked.
"No." I said.
"What are you going to do?" Remus asked.
"I don't think there is anything I can do." I said
"But, James, he loves you." Remus said.
I looked down at the table.
"What are you planning on doing Lily? Just breaking up with James and marrying this other guy?" Remus asked.
I stared at him.
Remus shook his head at me with disappointment.
"What would you have me do Remus?" I asked angirly.
Remus didn't say anything.
"James will be heart broken. I'm sorry Lily, but James has done too much for me. I can't let this happen to him. And I know this isn't what you want. We have to come up with a plan." Remus said.
I smiled sadly.
"Don't you think that I have been trying to come up with something ever since her letter? There is nothing that I can do." I said.
Remus looked at me.
"I never thought Lily Evans would give up." He said.
I looked at him sadly as he got up.
"I would suggest sooner rather than later when it comes to James. You're going to crush him." Remus said shaking his head and walking away.
I silently cried myself to sleep that night. I've been neglecting the inevitable. I have to do something about this, I love James don't I? He's worth it isn't he? I have to talk to father. He's my last chance. And besides, you have to face it sooner or later.