Chapter 16- Coming Out In Me
Have you ever noticed how when things start coming together and everything starts looking good that something terrible will happen? Nothing is good forever. It's like these days especially, there's a price for happiness. A very big price for happiness. The letter in my hands proves it. My mother has threatened me! I know what you must be thinking, 'Lily, your mother would never do that. You're just upset.' Well if you think that she wouldn't do that then you can take a jump off the astronomy tower. ...No not really! Please don't do that, it would make me feel absolutely horrible!
Really though, I'm not exaggerating. My own mother has threatened me! She's furious about me going to my father. She is dead set on making me marry this guy, whoever he is. I have no idea who it is, but he must be pretty up there in the social polls for my mother to even consider him. All she cares about is what other people think. I think that she can just- never mind. I'm not even going to go there. So I decided to go to Remus.
"Well, that's certainly-" Remus began as he sat down the letter I had received from my mother.
"How about it's evil? Or it's sadistic? How about it's completely inhumane?" I interrupted.
"-to the point." He finished.
"That's all you have to say about that crazy psychotic overbearing woman? What about how unfair this is! Or the injustice of imposed society!" I asked indignantly.
"I think you're saying enough for the both of us. Now why don't you step off your soapbox there and sit down? People are starting to stare." Remus said figuratively.
I had jumped to my feet during my little speech about my mother and there were several different people around the library looking at me.
"Oops. Sorry, just got a little bit carried away." I said grinning sheepishly and sitting back down.
"Are you quite finished?" Remus asked.
I sighed loudly and nodded.
"Good." He said.
"Well, what do you suggest I do?" I asked.
"Get over it." Remus said.
"What?" I asked
"Well, there's no good in writing her back and telling her to take her opinions and shove them up unmentionables. And don't even act like you weren't thinking about doing just that." Remus said.
"I'm the Legilmens here." I said.
Remus winked.
"Well you're a lot of help." I said.
I looked up to see Ashley coming in.
"I'll see you later. I'm going to go sulk, only two days left until the start of holidays." I said.
Remus laughed.
"Hello Lily!" Ashley said walking up to the table I was sitting at with Remus.
"Hey Ash, here take my seat, I'm going. Have you seen James?" I said getting up and pushing back the wooden chair I had been sitting in.
"No I haven't seen him, sorry." She said shaking her head and taking the chair I offered.
"Alright then, see you two later." I said waving a goodbye.
I walked out of the library and wandered around the corridors. I didn't have anywhere in particular to go, so I just walked around thinking about what Easter holidays would be like. Really, I was thinking about all of the ways I could irritate my mother and get away with it. It's the redhead in me that's making me think like this. The redhead Lily is the crazy, dirty joke telling, breaking rules, pulling pranks, and just a little evil, Lily. You see the green eyed Lily is the sweet girl who is polite, courteous, picks up dropped books, holds open doors, and smiles nicely, Lily. Yes I am both of those in one, usually its mixes together quite nicely. Sometimes though, one Lily will take over the other Lily. Usually it's the redhead Lily. She can be a bit rude at times.
I think that everyone has at least two sides to them. Like there's a good side and a bad side. It's just that my sides have names. I'm not schizophrenic I don't think. Schizophrenia is very serious, and I would never joke about it. Actually I think there might have been someone in my family who was schizophrenic. Wait, isn't schizophrenia hereditary? Oh just great, I take a walk to clear my head, and I depress myself even more.
If it isn't bad enough that I soon have to deal with the upcoming Easter holidays, I now have loads of work from all of my classes. Is there some unwritten rule that says that all teachers must give their students tremendous amounts of work before they go on holiday? I'm about to scream with all of the injustice I've felt this week. But the icing on the cake would definitely have to be Transfiguration. She's assigned more work than most of the professors put together! Not to mention the fact that all she's been doing is lecturing. We haven't had a practical lesson all week!
"If I have to sit through one more of McGonnagal's lectures I'm gonna jump off the astronomy tower." Sirius said as we sat down for lunch after a double hour of Transfiguration.
"Don't be so dramatic Sirius." Remus said.
"Yeah, you and James are the best in our year! If you're miserable then just imagine what it's like for the rest of us." Leah said as she filled her cup with pumpkin juice.
"Yeah, and to top it off, I'm dreading holidays." Sarah said.
"Yeah, me and you both." I mumbled.
Charlie, who was sitting next to me, smirked.
"You're dreading holidays?" Tiffany asked.
"Yes, I have to meet John's parents!" Sarah said.
"How is old Johnny?" Sirius said laughing.
Tiffany punched his arm.
"Well how would you feel if you had to meet your professor's parents?" Sarah asked.
"I'd be absolutely terrified. Imagine if McGonnagal's parents are half as strict as she is." James said.
"McGonnagal, eh?" Peter asked.
Everyone laughed.
"Yeah, it's a redhead thing." James said giving me a cheesy grin.
I raised my eyebrows and shook my head.
"Come to think of it, Minnie does have a bit of a sex appeal. I guess if I had to choose I'd pick McGonnagal as well." Sirius said.
"How very flattering Mr. Black."
We all instantly looked up to see professor McGonnagal standing right behind Sirius.
"Minnie! Didn't see you there love." Sirius said turning around to face her.
She rolled her eyes.
"Well then it's a good thing you get the opportunity to see me in detention tonight." She said.
"I wouldn't miss it." Sirius said.
"Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore would like me to inform you that your patrols for the next two days have been cancelled." She said.
"Thank you professor." James and I said.
She nodded and walked back to the Head table.
"Just goes to show." Sirius said.
"That you really are as ignorant as everyone thinks?" Remus said.
Sirius gave him an indignant look.
"No! It just goes to show that Minnie really does love me. She can't wait to get me alone tonight." Sirius said smiling.
Everyone made similar noises of disgust.
"Sirius mate, that's just wrong." Charlie said shaking his head.
The rest of us nodded in agreement.
"Lily! Lily, if you don't come downstairs we're going to miss the train!" James shouted from the Heads common room.
I closed the lid of my trunk.
"I don't think that would be so bad." I mumbled.
I grabbed my wand and put a levitation spell on my trunk. With one final look around my room making sure I wasn't leaving anything behind, I levitated my trunk downstairs to the commons.
"Are you ready to go?" James asked from the couch.
"Yes. Where's your trunk?" I asked.
"It's in my pocket." James said.
I rolled my eyes and James smirked.
It really isn't fair that I can't do the same. If I did, then I wouldn't be able to unshrink it when I got home because of the underage magic restrictions. James, on the other hand, was already seventeen. He didn't have to worry about underage magic restrictions, but that didn't mean he didn't give me a hard time about it.
"Let's go then." I said.
When we got to the train we loaded my trunk into the heads compartment and got back off the train to assist some of the younger students and make sure nobody got left behind.
The train started to pull out of the station when James and I finally got to head back to our compartment.
"So, am I going to see you over break?" James asked as we walked together hand in hand.
"I don't know." I said looking at the different compartment doors.
"I still don't see why you won't just come home with me again." He said letting go of my hand and crossing his arms.
"I told you, I went home with you for Christmas so I have to go home this time. My mother would hunt me down and kill me if I didn't." I said.
"Well, I think she's being rather selfish." James said.
"Yeah, how could she!" I said sarcastically.
"Will you come and see me though?" James asked sliding open our compartment door.
All of our friends were inside laughing.
"I promise I'll try." I said kissing him on the cheek before walking inside our compartment.
Sirius and Peter were having an eating contest to see who could eat the most chocolate frogs. Charlie, Tiffany, and Leah were all placing bets and James quickly went over to them throwing some of his own galleons down for Sirius to win.
Of course Sirius would win. Chocolate frogs are his favorite. I remember him telling me about it once.
'Sometimes the simplest things are the best Lilykins.' He'd said.
I think he was in one of his moods where he acts like he's wise or something.
And Sirius did win eating 27 chocolate frogs before Peter dashed out of the compartment looking green. I decided to take a nap until we arrived at Kings Cross.
"Lily, we're here." James said shaking me lightly.
I opened my eyes and rose up from James shoulder. I had been leaning on him.
James helped me get my trunk down and then he carried it outside for me. We left it with our friends while we searched the train to make sure nobody had been left on it.
When we got back to our friends, they were all saying their goodbyes.
"Bye Lily! Make sure you write us." Ashley and Sarah said.
"I will! Let me know how it goes meeting John's parents." I said.
"I will." She said.
The three of us hugged.
"Bye Lily, have a good holiday." Peter said.
"You too Peter!" I said waving to him.
"Good luck Lily." Remus said.
"Thanks, I'll write you." I said as I hugged Remus.
"Bye Lily." Tiffany said.
"Bye Tiff." I said hugging her.
"Make sure to write me!" She said before Sirius walked off with her.
"Lily, I'll miss you." Leah said hugging me.
"I'll miss you too." I said.
Charlie walked away with Leah to say his goodbye.
"Are you going to miss me?" James asked.
"Not really." I said.
James opened his mouth in surprise and I laughed.
"You know I'm only joking." I said.
He pulled me into a hug.
"You better be. I know you can't resist me." James said.
"I know." I said, still hugging him.
He pulled away and kissed me.
"I'm going to miss kissing you everyday." James said.
"I know. I'll miss it too." I said.
I smiled and James kissed me again.
"Lilykins!" Sirius shouted running at me and sweeping me up into a hug.
"I'll miss you too Sirius." I said.
"You're going to come and visit me, right?" Sirius asked.
"I'm going to try." I said.
"Excellent. Until we meet again, my lady." Sirius said before kissing my hand.
"Oy! That's my girlfriend you're kissing there! Hands off!" James shouted.
We all laughed as Sirius waved one last time and apparated.
James waited with me until Charlie returned.
The two said their goodbyes and James apparated off of the platform.
"Hey Lils?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah?" I said.
"I just want to go ahead and say that I'm sorry. I know this week is going to be stressful for you. I also just want to remind you that, if you feel overwhelmed or anything, you can come to me." Charlie said.
"Thanks Charlie." I said.
We walked through the barrier of the platform and onto the muggle side of the station. People were hustling about with their own business to even notice that two people had just emerged from a seemingly solid brick wall. Charlie and I kept our heads down as we pulled our trolleys to the parking lots. As soon as we stepped outside, we saw a small group of men all in identical black suits standing together. Charlie and I both knew that they were waiting for us. They were part of our father's security. We stopped walking as the men came toward us nodding, and taking our trolleys to the cars. They walked around us and lead us to the car where father's advisor, Mr. Brown, was waiting.
"Hello. How were both of your terms?" He asked.
The both of us chorused some form of 'fine'.
"I'm sorry that your father can't be here to pick you up today. He's in a rather important meeting. But he's asked that I see you both home safely." Mr. Brown said.
"Thanks." Charlie said as Mr. Brown opened the back door for us.
Mr. Peter Brown has been my father's advisor for many years now. They're best friends, and I know my father trusts Peter with his own life. I've known Peter for as long as I can remember, and he's always been very pleasant to me.
As soon as I got into the car, Mr. Brown closed the door and went to go sit up front with the driver. Charlie rolled up the partition so we could talk privately.
"This is a bit strange don't you think? Father always meets us at the station." Charlie said.
"I know. Must be a really important meeting." I said.
"If there is even a meeting at all." Charlie said.
I shrugged.
"Charlie, you know what I just realized?" I asked.
"What?" He asked.
"I was so caught up in the excitement of you becoming a wizard that I never asked how mother took it when you told her." I said.
Charlie smirked.
"So she broke down crying hysterically then? Disappointed, wondering what she did to deserve two of her children to be abnormal?" I asked.
"Of course, though it wasn't around father." Charlie said.
"No, she wouldn't dare. Father was overjoyed about it I presume?" I asked.
Charlie nodded smiling.
"Harry too." He said.
"How did the lovely Petunia take it?" I asked.
"I don't really know. She hasn't spoken to me since the day I found out." Charlie said.
"What a shame. And the worst part, she won't want to set you up with anymore of her friends." I said sarcastically.
"Oh come on Lils, just because you don't like them doesn't mean that they're all that bad. As long as they don't talk, they're not too bad to look at." He said grinning.
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't let Leah catch you saying that." I said.
Charlie's smile broadened at the mention of Leah.
"You really like her don't you?" I asked.
"Yeah, I really do." He said.
I smiled.
It was a bit of a drive to the manor, but when we finally arrived it couldn't have been any sooner. I was ready to get out of that car and stretch my legs. As we walked to the front door, our butler Jerry greeted us. Jerry is an older man, probably in his late sixties, but he is so nice. In the past, when Charlie and I were younger, we would always play pranks on everyone in the house. Mother would get so mad, but more times than one Jerry has covered for us. So we've always liked Jerry.
"Hello Jerry!" Charlie and I said happily, causing the older man to smile.
"Good morning master Charlie, Miss Lily. We've missed your presence in the house." He said.
"Ah, mum and Petunia are driving everyone crazy? Don't worry Jer; we'll take care of them." Charlie said smiling and patting Jerry's shoulder.
"I was wondering when you two would be arriving." A familiar voice said.
I looked up to the top of the stairs to see Harry.
"Harry!" Charlie and I shouted together.
The two of us ran to the stairs as Harry ran down them and we met at the bottom. I jumped in Harry's arms as he laughed and swung me around.
"Oh Lils, I've missed you!" Harry said kissing my cheek before sitting me down and walking to Charlie.
Both boys hugged.
"So how's the magical world Charlie?" Harry asked.
"Brilliant!" Charlie said.
Harry smiled.
"So, mother wants to see the both of you." Harry said.
The three of us all looked at each other before Charlie and I walked to mother's study.
"Lily, Charlie. How are you?" She asked from her seat behind the desk.
"Good." "Fine."
"How is school?" She asked.
"Fine." "Good."
"That's very good. I think Maye has prepared you a little something in the kitchen." She said.
Knowing a dismissal when we hear one, Charlie and I nodded and left.
We walked down to the kitchens where Maye had baked us cookies and cupcakes. Our favorite! Charlie went straight for the cookies as I sat down to the cupcakes. We were soon joined by Harry who was as delighted about our welcome home snacks as we were. Maye mentioned something about leaving extras incase we needed a midnight snack and left. She knows my brothers all too well. Sure enough, the boys shared a glance and smirk. I shook my head and poured a glass of milk.
"Now, there is a lot of explaining you two have to do. You wouldn't believe what I've been hearing around this place." Harry said.
"Like what?" Charlie asked.
"Well, first Lily is engaged. Then she's not engaged and father is furious. Mothers not too happy and father says something about Lily being in love. And mother is still determined on an arranged marriage." Harry said.
"Er." I said.
"Oh, well yes, Lily loves James but mother is still set on forcing her to marry some wanker." Charlie said.
"Lily's really in love? Who's James?" Harry asked.
I began blushing.
"Well-" Charlie began.
"Charlie loves Leah!" I burst out.
Harry looked at me surprised.
"Who's Leah?" He asked.
"My girlfriend." Charlie said proudly.
Harry grinned.
"Well, good for you two." Harry said.
"What about you? Any girls for you?" Charlie asked.
Harry smiled.
"Not telling." He said.
"Oh come on, that's not fair. I never got that option!" I said.
"Life's not fair Lily." Harry said.
"Don't I know it." I muttered, suddenly losing my appetite for sweets.
"Where are you going?" Charlie asked.
"To unpack I guess. I never let the maids do it. I'd rather not have to deal with suspicious looks from them." I said.
"Want to play a game of quidditch later with Harry and me?" Charlie asked.
"Sure, just come and get me." I said as I left the kitchen.
When I opened the door to my room and stepped inside, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I just knew this was going to be a long week. I walked to my desk where a familiar owl was sitting, watching me. The owl hooted softly as I approached and stuck out its leg for me to take the letter it had been holding. I took the letter and sat down in the chair. The owl, whose name was Molly, flew to my shoulder. Molly nipped at my ear affectionately as I opened the letter.
Dear Lily,
I hope your journey home was a safe one. Sirius is already bored and he's driving me mad. I miss you already, and I can't wait until I get to see you again. Sirius was just saying that-
Hi Lily! It's Sirius here. I was just wondering when you were going to come and visit me? I know you must miss me terribly. By the way, did you know that you're 'boyfriend' is violent? Really, he's unstable. You never know when he'll just lash out on you. There he goes again! Anyways, I was hoping you and Charlie could come over for some quidditch. It will be wicked! Besides, James won't stop going on about you. It's Lily this and Lily that, and 'I miss Lily'. Bloody wanker. It hasn't even been a full day yet! I mean he really needs to-
Sorry about that Lils. He grabbed my quill and then took off running with it and the letter. Anyways, write me as soon as you can. I want to know when I can see you again.
With all my love-
James
I smiled after reading the letter. I won't say that I didn't roll my eyes a few times while I was reading it, but it was cute. I gave Molly an owl treat and sent her off with a reply that said I'd write as soon as I knew when I could visit.
"Lils?" I heard.
I turned around to see Charlie poking his head in my room.
"Come in." I said.
"What are you doing?" He asked walking in the room.
"Just sent a letter to James." I said.
"Yeah, I just sent one to Leah." Charlie said.
"Are you going to try and visit her?" I asked.
"No, her parents decided to go to Paris for the holidays." Charlie said.
"Isn't she lucky?" I muttered.
"So, have you seen the daily prophet for today?" He asked.
"No. Why?" I asked.
"Several people were murdered yesterday." He said.
"Really?" I asked.
I hadn't heard anyone mention anything about it.
"Yeah, everyone in the great hall was talking about it at breakfast this morning. You'd have known if you had of came down. It was the family of some Hufflepuff fifth girl. Both of her parents and her little brother were killed." He said.
"That's horrible! Who would do such a thing?" I asked.
"Somebody who calls himself Lord Voldemort. He used Avada Kedavra on the little boy. Then he tortured the parents to death with the Cruciatus Curse." He said.
"That's so terrible! I can't believe someone could be so cruel. How are the murders traced back to this Lord Voldemort though?" I asked.
"Well, that's what has people talking so much about it. There was this big green symbol floating above their house. While aurors were investigating, some muggle just strolls in and tells them exactly what happened, how the family wasn't pure in 'the Great Lord Voldemort's' eyes. Anyways, the muggle was under the imperious curse and he shot himself with a hand gun before the aurors could stun him. That's why everyone's talking so much. And besides, nobody knows who this Voldemort is or what he even looks like." Charlie said.
I shook my head.
"He killed those people just because they were muggleborn?" I asked.
"Yeah, who knows if he'll do it again?" Charlie said.
"You think so?" I asked.
"Well, he wants to cleanse the magical world or some nonsense. They weren't the only muggleborn family out there. I mean, what do you think we are?" He said.
"Yeah. I just hope you're wrong." I said.
"Fat chance. When am I ever wrong?" Charlie asked cockily.
I rolled my eyes and he laughed.
"I thought we were going to play quidditch?" I asked.
"Harry's disappeared. Who knows where he is? So I'm here to annoy you." Charlie said.
I wasn't really surprised that Harry was gone. Harry was a bit secretive, and he would often just disappear for periods of time to do his own thing. Nobody really questioned him because he's our older brother and we respect his privacy.
"Why don't you go see if Petunia's home? I think it would be good if you told her how much you missed her. Give her a little surprise or something." I said.
"Oh, pull a prank on Petunia? I like the way you think. It's been way too long anyways." Charlie said.
I smiled thinking of some of our more creative pranks we pulled in the past.
"You're going to help aren't you?" Charlie asked.
"Of course. You think I'm going to let you have all the fun?" I said.
"Of course not, I know how much you love to torture Pet. What did you have in mind though?" Charlie said.
"Well, I have a few Zonkos products with me. We can set some up around the house and we can continually keep on setting them on her for the rest of the day." I said.
"Disillusionment charms?" He asked.
"Yeah probably the safest bet." I said.
"Excellent. James would die if he seen you playing the part of the marauder." Charlie said.
I laughed.
"This is one thing I will never get tired of doing. And I just know that I'll never grow out of it." I said.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Charlie said.
"Oh, wait a second, we can't use our wands!" I said.
Charlie grinned.
"Well, I never received a warning about the restriction from the ministry. Seeing as I was receiving my training in the Potter home. Dumbledore said that I could continue to use my magic at home so as not to lose the feel for it or something. Interesting man, Dumbledore. He's in my good graces though." Charlie said.
"This is just so unfair!" I screamed.
"Life's not fair Lily." Charlie said grinning.
"Yes, so I've heard." I said sarcastically.
Charlie and I gathered our supplies and set off to set up our pranks. This was going to be interesting. Petunia's going to be furious. I can practically hear the screams now. Definitely the redhead Lily coming out in me.