anonymousnerdgirl said:

Shattered!prompt: I want a forehead kiss. Gold to Belle.

She hadn't meant to kiss him. Not that Belle hadn't thought about kissing her husband, but it had always been more of an abstract concept for her. An idea that she would someday perhaps want to kiss him, and a curiosity of what it would be like. She'd only been kissed a handful of times in her life, and only once by Rhys. It hadn't been until she'd asked him to show her how to spin and saw how very careful he was about how and where he touched her that she knew she wanted to kiss him, and so she'd done it. It had been an impulsive act, but not one she regretted. Nobody had ever treated her as carefully as he did.

Men had been polite towards Belle her entire life, but after the incident, she'd been treated as though she might break at any moment and she could go days or weeks without anyone touching her aside from a physician. Whereas before she'd been accustomed to kissing her papa's cheek before leaving a room or having Gaston kiss her hand, in the last few months she'd been depriving herself of all sorts of physical affection - and until Rhys had held her hand and touched her back, she hadn't even realized it. He had been patient and had waited for her to invite his closeness before he dared to touch her at all, and something about the fact that she could trust him to keep his distance made her want him closer.

By the time she finally retreated to her room to dress for dinner, she was drunk on the knowledge that she could kiss him. Granted, she still couldn't be sure if he would welcome her attentions, but the fact that she could perform them had her ecstatic.

A year ago, this wouldn't have been a victory, it would have been a matter of course for her as a wife. But then, maybe this was what healing was? Winning little battles over her fear.

Belle put special attention into her dress that night, choosing a lilac one that she knew did her eyes a great many favors. She had never been much accustomed to putting a lot of thought into her wardrobe (even before everything had happened), but tonight she felt like celebrating.

Rhys was already waiting for her when she came downstairs for dinner, and she really did hope he was pleased. She knew she wasn't a particularly good wife and hadn't been any great catch by the time he married her, but she didn't want to be a burden or a regret. She'd been making progress towards providing the companionship he'd mentioned in his proposal, and buoyed by her success of the afternoon, she was hopeful about her prospects for the rest of the evening.

It wasn't until after dinner that she learned her husband had made plans of his own.

Rather than leading her into the sitting room like he usually did after dinner, he instead paused in the hall.

"I have a surprise for you upstairs," Rhys said, and even though she did trust him, she was on alert instantly.

"What is it?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"Something I think you'll like," he replied. "I had one of the drawing rooms refurbished for you."

She still hated surprises, and she had no idea what he meant by 'refurbished' since she lived there and surely would have noticed workmen coming in and out, wouldn't she? She looked at him cautiously, but no. This was Rhys. She'd lived here almost two months now, and if he had any faults at all as her husband, it was that he was too cautious about scaring her. He had a reputation in town as being a tough businessman, but she'd never seen that side of him in their home. She'd taken a big step today; maybe it was time to make another one.

Belle smiled at him as earnestly as she could and allowed him to lead her up the stairs to the sitting room closest to her bedroom. Her skin was prickling as they approached the door, even though she had already decided to put her trust in him. She thought her heart might leap out of her chest and she had to suppress the urge to run away as he swung the door open, but she held it together long enough to step in and find...nothing.

The room was much as it had been when she'd moved in. The walls had the same pink floral wallpaper and the same rug was on the floor. It took her an embarrassing long time to realize the chaise and sofa that had been in this room had vanished to be replaced by armchairs and an ottoman. The heavy brocade curtains had been replaced with new ones in a pale yellow, and the paintings that had been on the walls were missing. The biggest change, though, was the wall of shelves that had definitely not been there before.

"What is this?" she asked, walking into the room and brushing a finger across the empty shelves.

"It's your new library," he said, leaning against the open door and watching her. "If you want it."

She could hardly believe what he had just said, and looked at the room more closely now. The missing pictures that she was apparently supposed to replace, the tables cleared of decorations waiting for her to choose new ones, the empty shelves he apparently expected her to fill. The furniture was light and delicate and feminine, a far cry from the dark colors and greco-roman stylings of a traditional library.

"The furniture was brought in while we were visiting your father," he continued. "The rest was a bit of a trick - I will say that Elizabeth did an excellent job keeping you busy."

He said it so simply, as though it had been no trouble at all to covertly refurbish a room right under her nose. She wanted to thank him, but her throat was tightening and she was afraid she might burst out in a sob if she dared to speak. She got to decorate however she liked and fill the shelves with anything she wanted - her mind was already racing, trying to decide on what to put in her new space.

"Do you like it?" Rhys asked after a little while and she realized she'd been completely lost in her own excitement.

"It's amazing," she replied instantly. "You did all this for me?"

"It was nothing," he said, looking away from her bashfully. "I imagine you'll have the harder time of it filling the shelves."

"It was everything," she said, rushing to hug him before she could second guess herself. "I can really put whatever I want in here?"

He didn't relax into the hug immediately, but after she clung to him for longer than she was really comfortable with, he finally put his arms very loosely around her and patted her back. She stepped away from him.

"The room is yours," he said. "You can do whatever you want in here. The shelves are just a suggestion."

"A wonderful suggestion," she replied, trying to wipe away the tears that were already forming. "I just…"

There weren't really words for what he'd done for her. Not just the library, but everything. The marriage, the keys to her room, the time to herself - he'd been perfectly patient and understanding and she just didn't know what to tell him.

"Thank you," she finally said. "For doing this for me."

"You don't have to thank me," he said, skittering back a little bit as though she'd scared him. "If you need anything else for it, please let me know."

He seemed on the verge of dashing out the door now, and Belle was struck with the irony that just when she was wanting to get closer to him he seemed like he wanted to run screaming from her. She took a small step away and smiled at him sweetly.

"Could you take me to the bookstore tomorrow?" she asked him. "I didn't quite bring enough books to fill all the shelves."

"Yes," he replied, his voice softer now than it had been when she was closer. "I'll take you anywhere you'd like to go."

Maybe it had been unfair of her to extract that promise after he'd just given her this wonderful gift, but she was in a good mood and she was floating on this new ability to be feminine and flirtatious. No, it wasn't new. It was a little bit of her old self starting to peek through the darkness she'd been living with these last months. Maybe it wouldn't last through until tomorrow, but she wanted to see how far she could go before she'd pushed herself. It hardly took any effort at all to be standing close to him again, and just a little bit more until she had her lips pressed against his again. She lingered this time, a little longer than she had before, just long enough to remind herself that she could do this, and that she wasn't completely lost to herself.

"Tomorrow, then?" she asked him.

"Yes," he replied instantly. "We can leave first thing in the morning."

"I'll be ready," she promised.

He was watching her and she smiled again. He reached out a little and rubbed her arms.

"Goodnight, Belle," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

He seemed a little surprised at his boldness, not turning away from her as he backed out the door into the hallway. Once he was out of sight, Belle sighed and walked the perimeter of her new library all over again. It was beautiful. Whoever had planned the colors had done well: it had gone from being dark and a little dreary to being bright and warm and hers. She loved everything about it, but mostly she loved that he'd done it.

There were a few books in her bedroom already, old favorites that she'd brought from home, and she immediately went to move those into her new shelves. She'd need bookends and paintings to go on the walls. Usually libraries would have sculptures on the tables, but she wanted plants in hers. And a window seat.

She'd have to figure out a place for Rhys to visit, too. She wanted this to be someplace he felt comfortable being. Their marriage was new, and maybe it had started out on the wrong foot, but she had every intention of making it work in any way she could.

It took her far too long to finally leave her library, but by the time she was finally out of her corset and in bed, she was sure that this time she'd made the right choice. He might have been her only choice, but she was satisfied with it.