Words of Wisdom

'Várar!'

'Gwilwileth, where are you?'

But there is no reply. Legolas looks over at his father, with worry in his eyes. The same worried eyes as his father as voices keep on calling for the said girl. How could this have happened? Why did they let this happen? If they had just told her the truth, Várar would not be missing right now.

'Any sign of her?' Thranduil asks as he spots Tauriel. The she-elf shakes her head, silently telling her king no one has found the missing girl yet. 'Keep looking then!'

Legolas sighs in frustration. A whole day they have searched for Várar and still no trace. Not even an imprint of her feet on the ground. It makes Legolas wonder if she has climbed in the trees. And with the light fading, it will become very difficult to find her. If only the mithrandir had not showed, if he had not spoken with such surprise. His eyes find the wizard with ease, hearing the surprise in his voice again when he had seen Várar.

'I was not aware you had a dwarrowdam living with you, Thranduil,' Gandalf had said, causing Várar to look at him in surprise.

'Excuse me?'

It had not taken the mithrandir long to figure out she hadn't known about her parentage. Even after twenty-five years, no one had ever told the female she wasn't an elf but a dwarf. Ofcourse she had asked Legolas many times why she was still so small. She had asked many times why she was different. But somehow Legolas always ended up not telling her anything. Only saying she was special.

Why?

He doesn't even know why he had never told Várar about her parentage. Or why his father had done the same. Perhaps it had been the fear of her leaving in search of her kin, once she were to find out. And perhaps that is what has happened now. For the last Legolas has seen his little gwilwileth, was when she had stormed off. Upset about what the mithrandir had told her, the truth.

'Perhaps it is best to leave her be for now. She has a lot to take in right now.'

Thranduil turns to the wizard, glaring at him. It is because of Gandalf his child is missing and now he is suggesting to stop searching for her? The nerve!

'You come into my kingdom as a guest,' Thranduil says, his voice as icy as the look he is giving the mithrandir. 'And you have always been welcome. Whether ten years have passed or one-hundred. But you had no right to tell Várar something I was to tell her.'

'And when where you planning on telling her she is a dwarf and not an elf?' Gandalf replies, not phased by the icy look. 'Thranduil, the girl is twenty-five! It is not like she will grow any taller. Would she not find that strange? She might be taller than some dwarves, but she is still a dwarf.'

Thranduil is at a loss for words. The wizard is right, Thranduil will not deny it. But he will not openly admit it either. Right now his main priority is to find Várar. He needs to explain why he had waited so long to tell her about her parentage. Then he will deal with the mithrandir.

So instead of answering Gandalf, Thranduil turns around, commanding his people to keep on searching. And searching they do, until the sun has long set behind the mountains. When the moon lights the night, accompanied by countless stars. But still no sign of the red-head.

As all is quiet, Legolas walks outside. He recognises the tall figure standing at the riverbank as he approaches him. His long pale hair flowing down his back as he stares at the stars. He doesn't even turn around as Legolas walks up to him, though he does speak to Legolas.

'We will find her,' he promises, though Legolas has a feeling Thranduil is saying it more to himself than to Legolas. 'I know we will.'

'I know, father,' Legolas agrees as he stands next to his father.

No more words are spoken, as both elves look at the stars. Their thoughts on the same person, praying for her save return.

The sun is rising and slowly the forest comes to live again. Slowly the world is warming up again by the sun, a welcome change to the cold night. As birds begin to chirp and fly off and on to built their nests, an elk walks through the trees, his head hold high in pride.

A branch snaps and the animal quickly jumps off to safety as slow footsteps make way through the forest, carefully searching for the path with every step.

'I see you have not left yet,' a voice calls out and Várar looks down from her branch.

Standing below her is the wizard she had met yesterday. The one who had called her a dwarf. She doesn't look at him long, her eyes returning to the open field in front of her. She has never left the forest. Never. She hasn't even come this close to the edge before, not until yesterday. Sure, she knew their kingdom wasn't small, but the actual size of it had never meant much to her. Not until now.

It has taken her a full week to reach the border of the forest, and now that she has reached it, she doesn't know what to do. Trying to find the courage to leave the forest. What will await her when she leaves? Where will she go to? How will she find the right path?

'I am simply enjoying the view,' she says, when she notices the mithrandir hasn't left yet. 'I have never seen the borders of our kingdom.'

'I see. Well I can assure you there are many sightings to be seen. The mountains for example. Some folk live inside those mountains.'

Várar looks down at the grey wizard again. She lets her leg swing down the thick brance, while leaning forward a bit.

'Folk like the dwarves that lived inside the Lonely Mountain?'

'Folk like them indeed,' Gandalf agrees. 'Why don't you come down, child. It makes talking to you a lot easier. You wouldn't want an old man such as myself to hurt his neck, would you?'

Várar chuckles as the wizard looks at her, a fake look of hurt on his face. She can clearly see the man is faking it. The twinkle in his eyes say enough. Soon his lips match his eyes, as a smile forms on his face.

'Now then,' Gandalf says with a wide smile as Várar stands in front of him. 'This is much better, isn't it? So you know about the dwarves from Erebor?'

'Yes. Adar has told me about it. He says their king was a foolish one and let his people to their downfall. Only he forgot to mention I belong to those dwarves as well.'

'I see.' Gandalf nods, a knowing look on his face. His ears have not missed the tone in her voice, nor the way she addressed Thranduil. Neither have his eyes missed the small movement the young dwarrowdam made while talking about the said king. 'And why would he not mention such a important detail?'

Várar shrugs. She hasn't given that much thought. All she could think of the passed few days, if how betrayed she feels. Betrayed by her father, betrayed by her brother. Thinking about it now, does make her wonder. Not that it will matter anymore. She will leave the forest for good, well, in a moment that is.

'Whatever reason he has for keeping my parentage a secret, is his problem,' she finally says as she puts her bag on her shoulder. 'For I do not care. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'll be on my way.'

'Perhaps you could travel with me?' Gandalf suggest as he follows her closer to the edge of the forest. 'I could use some company along the way.'

'Thank you, but I would rather pass. I'd rather not be with strangers. Father says they are dangerous.'

'And a wise father he is,' Gandalf agrees as he stops next to her. 'But the world will be full of strangers. No matter where you will go to. Even if you were to find a dwarf-settlement, they would still be strangers.'

Várar's eyes scan the open field as she listens to to words of the wandering wizard. She hasn't thought about that either. Maybe she should think about her decision a little more thoroughly. Like her father has said many times, the world is a dangerous place.

'Besides, dwarrowdams like you usually do not travel like this,' the wizard continues, causing Várar to look at him in curiosity. What does he mean by that? 'They tend to disguise themselves as their male counterpart. Dressing like them, lowering their voices like them. They even put on fake beards to play the part.'

'Fake beards?'

'Oh yes. A lady such as yourself, no matter what race, traveling all by herself is an easy target for others.'

Várar swallows thickly. Apparently she hasn't really given this any real thought. Maybe she exaggerated a little? Perhaps she should just turn back. Maybe she should let her father explain why he did what he did. She takes a glance over her shoulder.

'I am sure Thranduil meant well by not telling you the truth,' Gandalf says, noticing the change in the girls appearance. 'Perhaps he thought you not to be ready yet, thinking you to be too reckless, hm?'

Várar snorts. Not lady-like at all, but she doesn't care. She reckless? Never! Well, maybe just a little. A little more than just a little. So maybe wizard is right. She is reckless, running away like that. Maybe she wasn't thinking ahead, jumping to conclusions.

'You know, sometimes we hurt the ones we love, because we love them. We want to protect them and shelter them from any harm.' Gandalf looks at the young dwarf next to him. He knows she doesn't want to leave her home. He can see it in her eyes. 'But by doing so, me don't always think of the consequences. And Thranuil loves you, Várar. He really does. He sees you as his own.'

'What would a wandering wizard know about love?'

'I have seen enough kinds of love to recognise it, my dear child. And I say Thranduil loves you.'

Várar looks at the mithrandir. Doubt still in her mind.

'But do I not belong with my own kin?' she asks unsure. 'You said so yourself.'

'Ah, that I did. But that was before I knew the strong connection between you and Thranduil. You do belong with your kin, but maybe not just yet. Maybe someday when the time is right, your paths will cross.'

Várar nods. She can live with that. If she searches her heart, she knows she just can't leave her father or her brother. She belongs with them. At least, for now that is. With a small smile she looks ahead again. For now, she will stay here. For now, this is where she belongs.

'Before you leave, do you have any words of wisdom for me, mithrandir?' Várar asks as she notices the wizard walking away.

'Yes, in fact I have,' Gandalf says as he turns to face her again. 'Love is a curious thing. Sometimes love is even stronger than blood or race.'

With that said, Gandalf turns around, leaving Várar to ponder about his words.

Várar quietly walks trough the halls. Luck is on her side, for she has not been spotted just yet. Not when she sneaked passed the guards, with their watchful eyes. Not that they would noticed her anyway, for she knows how to move passed them. Over the years she has learned to move as quiet as any other elf – or better said 'as the elves', for apparently she isn't one of them.

As Várar turns a corner, she suddenly comes to an halt. Her eyes find the tall king with ease, as he sits on his throne. But as she watches him, she notices Thranduil isn't as proud and tall as usual. Instead he is holding his head between his hands, and it is clear to anyone he is mourning.

But why would he mourn? Is he mourning for her? Várar doesn't understand, for she has only been away for two weeks. She could have returned a little sooner, if she had run all the way back like she did in the end. But she needed some time to think, so Várar had kept a steady pace the first two days.

'Ada?' she whispers quietly as she takes a few steps towards him.

Thranduil looks up immediately, his ears easily picking up the sound of her voice. As their eyes meet, Várar can see the sadness in his eyes. Thranduil stands up, not saying a word and Várar is too afraid to move.

'Várar...'

His voice is hoarse, as he takes in the sight of the small female in front of him. He stands there frozen, before opening his arms. He wants to have he in his arms, having missed her for two weeks. After having worried about her safety for two weeks. He doesn't have to wait long, as Várar runs up to him, tears in her eyes.

'Gwilwileth, you have come back to me.'

'I am sorry, daddy,' Várar says as tears stream down her face. 'I am so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking. I just... I...'

'Shh, it's alright. It's alright, my dear Várar,' Thranduil says as he pats her head. 'You have returned, that is all that matters.'

Várar stares at the flowing river before her. She watches as the strong stream takes everything it finds along. Small branches, fallen leaves in all sorts of colours. Green, brown, yellow, red. The wind gently plays with her long auburn hair, letting it move in the autumn breeze.

'Tomorrow will be a big day,' the female next to her says and Várar looks at her. 'Tomorrow you will turn fifty. You will finally be of age.'

Várar nods. Yes, tomorrow will be the first day of autumn, her fiftieth birthday. But is not her birthday she is looking forward to. No, tomorrow she will join the feast for the first time. For the first time she is allowed into the forrest, to feast with the others.

Not that there is anything special about the feast. For it is just so everyone can forget about the dark place they are living. And a dark place Mirkwood is, or Eryn Galen as it was called in the old times. Dark creatures now linger in the shadows of the trees, the Giant Spiders being just one of them. So to lighten the mood, king Thranduil lets his people feast every now and then. Just so they can get away from it all.

'Will you be coming?'

'Hm?'

Tauriel looks at the small female, confused. The two of them have become close after Várar had learned the truth about her parentage. Before, she could get along with the dwarrowdam as well, but having to keep the truth from her, Tauriel had tried her hardest not to grow too attached to Várar. Besides, she doesn't really know how to act around children.

But now the smaller red-head knows the truth, and Tauriel has told her many things about her mother. Everyone she knows about Gefn, Tauriel has told Várar. Every drawing the dwarrowdam had made, she has given to Várar. The belong to Gefn's daughter, not to Tauriel. And their time they have spend together, talking about Gefn, has really blossomed their friendship. Especially since Várar has found her rebel side - or dwarvenside as Thraduil calls it - after the incident with the mithrandir twentyfive years ago.

'To the feast at the forest,' Várar adds, seeing the confused look on her friend's face. 'Father is letting me come along for the first time.'

'Then I will be coming as well,' Tauriel says with a smile. 'I would not want to miss your first legal week at the forest.'

The both of them laugh as they stare at the wild water. Várar knows Tauriel knows about the times the young dwarf has sneaked away in the middle of the night. Often following after her, to enjoy the light of the stars, while sitting in the trees.

Várar closes her eyes, enjoying the autumn breeze for just a little longer. She knows she should be practicing, but her bow and arrows can wait for just a little longer.

A/N

And that is the end of yet another chapter of Nothing I Have Ever Known. I hope you enjoyed it as much as the other chapters (well, I hope you enjoyed them as well). And here we meet the grown up Várar. Just let me know what you think of this chapter and stay tuned for the next one.

Until then, my dear readers!