Chapter 18- What To Do
"Tell me what you're thinking about." Charlie said.
I glanced at him as he watched me.
"It's nothing." I said.
"I can find out you know." Charlie said referring to our unique ability.
I rolled my eyes.
"It's just; do you remember what mother said earlier?" I asked.
"Which part precisely?" He asked.
"When she said we always ruin everything." I said slowly.
"Oh." Charlie said.
We sat silently for a few moments.
"She hates me so much because I'm not like her. I mean, we just found out about your magic. I'm sure she's just repressed it already, acting like it never happened and that you're still like you used to be. Like you're still 'normal'. But she's hated me ever since I found out. I'm not anything like Petunia and I have no desire to be a part of her society. I must be her biggest disappointment." I said, not once breaking my eyes away from the burning flames.
"Lils-" Charlie began slowly.
"No, I think I'm just going to go to bed." I said.
"No Lils, I think you should talk to me. You always try to keep everything inside. It's not good for you. You shouldn't hide everything." He said.
"I don't hide everything." I said.
"What about when you were raped?" Charlie asked quietly.
"WHAT!" Someone shouted from behind us.
Charlie and I turned to see Harry standing in the doorway.
"Jerry said I could find you two up here, but, what the hell is going on? What is he talking about Lily?" Harry said coming to stand across from us.
"Sit down Harry. I should have told you about this a long time ago." I said.
I waited for Harry to sit down and told him everything that I had told Charlie.
"Do you still, you know, remember it?" Harry asked sadly.
I looked at the flames of the fire.
"It's not something that you can just forget. It's not even a memory really. It's just, there. It's always in the back of my mind. I can feel this darkness inside me, and I try to push it away. But if I'm angry or sad or panicked, then it all comes rushing back at me full force. It's overwhelming sometimes. I can clearly remember every detail. It's like I relive it over and over again. No matter how much I cry or scream, it won't go away. It never has. I can't control it, I can't stop it. At first it only attacked me at night, in my dreams. But then I started reliving it during the day. Random flashbacks kept occurring with no warning at all. I had to keep myself away from people so that they would be safe, and so I would be safe. For a time though, I couldn't handle it. I was so close to doing whatever it took to find some release. Any type of release that would make the images leave, the sounds muted, and the smells evaporate. Do you know what it feels like to live in constant fear? Do you know what it's like to be haunted? I was so close to making a permanent end until I met James. With James, the dreams have stopped. The images are so close to nonexistent that I have reason to hope. He makes it disappear. He makes me want to live again. That's why I love him. Because of him, I can still smile." I said.
"James sounds really special." Harry said.
I smiled at him.
"Lils, I never knew. Why didn't you tell me that it had always bothered you? Why didn't you let me in?" Charlie said.
I couldn't look at him.
"Did you ever report it?" Harry asked.
"Yes. Well, I tried." I said.
"What do you mean you tried?" Charlie asked.
"The headmaster said there wasn't enough proof." I said.
"What?!" Charlie asked.
"Listen, I'm really tired. I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow's going to be a long day." I said.
I could hear Charlie sigh before he said "Goodnight Lils."
Harry rushed over and gave me a hug.
"I love you Lily. And I'm so proud of you, for being so strong." Harry said.
I nodded. I couldn't say anything to him. I certainly didn't feel very strong. I felt like I was going to cry in any second. And I knew that without James, I probably wouldn't even be here right now. I really wish I could see him right now. I miss him.
-
"Miss Lily, Miss Lily, wake up!" I heard someone say.
I felt so tired though. Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.
The room was suddenly filled with brightness as the widow curtains were all opened.
I groaned loudly.
"Now Miss Lily, you must wake up." I heard that sweet little voice again.
I opened an eye to look at Mary, one of the maids. She has that sweet little voice, but it's all a deception. She is actually a demon. A demon that comes in and opens the curtains so that sunshine blinds you into waking up. She's a demon in the form of a blonde girl in her twenties. She isn't sweet at all really, she's just...
"Miss Lily, are you awake?" She asked.
Well I'm looking at you aren't I? Ok, so she's a rather stupid demon I must say.
"Miss Lily?" She asked.
"Yes Mary, I'm awake!" I said.
This girl/demon is frustrating.
"Miss Lily we need to get you dressed! Your mother says you have an hour before you have to leave." She said.
"Where am I going?" I asked.
"You have to go get your hair and makeup done. The ball is this evening you know." She said.
"Yes, this evening. So why are you waking me up now?" I asked.
She laughed. The evil demon who possessed the sweet Mary is actually laughing at me.
"Oh Miss Lily, you are funny." She said.
Well I try.
"Now come on miss, you need to get into the shower." She said.
I grudgingly pulled off my blankets and stumbled to the bathroom while Mary picked out my clothes for me. Mary knows I hate when the maids lay out my clothes for me. Mother probably told her to do it though. She probably told her exactly what to lie out too.
Once out of the shower I put on the pale yellow skirt and white blouse with the matching pale yellow jacket. Ewe. Mary stayed in the room with me. Probably making sure I actually put it on.
-
"It's about time Lily." My mother said once I reached the foyer.
The maid Laura assisted my mother in putting on her coat as Mary helped me into mine. I mumbled thanks as Jerry held the door open for us. He winked at me and gave me thumbs up that my mother couldn't see. The driver opened the door for us and we both got in. The drive was a long and silent one. Well, silent on my part. My mother was on the car phone most of the time. Who knows who she as talking to. I for one don't ask. Then I would be bored while she either told me about what goes on in her life or told me to mind my own business. So I settled for staring out of the window. When we arrived we were in London. I followed my mother to the front doors not even bothering to ask her where she brought us. My mother walked in and I turned around to get one last look at the car as it drove away. I wish I were inside it. I took a deep breath preparing myself. I was going to have to be fake Lily all day. And just so you know, green eyed lily and redhead Lily don't like fake Lily. We don't like her at all. She is the stuck up, prissy, proper, everyone is below me, Lily. I don't think anyone likes her but mother. Mother is rooting for her to take over. Green eyed Lily and redhead Lily will fight until death before fake Lily takes over. And let me tell you, redhead Lily can really kick ass. I walked into the building and had to blink several times for my eyes to adjust to the bright lights.
"You must be Lillian." Some woman said.
I stared at her as she smiled and muttered something to my mother while nodding. Whatever.
"Lily, follow me and we'll take you to your chair." The woman said.
I followed her and she had some guy named Edward do my nails, my toes, my eyebrows, give me a facial, throw in a massage for good measure, wash my hair, trim my hair, dry my hair, do my make up, and style my hair. So, you can say that me and Edward become pretty good friends. He wasn't too much older than me, and thankfully he had a sense of humor. I made a comment that got him laughing and then he was cracking jokes the rest of the day. And here I thought I would have a bad day. Normally there would be no way that I would go through all of this, but it wasn't too bad with Eddie. Eddie is what I've taken to calling him.
"So Eddie, why do you work here with stiffs like Miss Rose?" I asked as he was styling my hair.
Miss Rose was the woman who I had met when I first walked in. I started disliking her more and more when she would boss Eddie around and shoot glares at him for his jokes.
"Well I suppose it pays well. And besides I get to work on the most high of society." He said.
"Exactly. So why would you put yourself through the misery?" I asked.
Eddie laughed. Miss Rose walked by and gave him another glare.
"You might want to be careful. She doesn't look too nice. Don't want to lose your job." I said.
"She would never fire me." Eddie said.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Because I'm the best." He said.
I laughed.
"What I really want to do is own my own business. This job is just a means to an end." He said.
"I understand that." I said.
"So what do you think?" Eddie asked spinning me around to face the mirrors so that I could see my finished hair.
It was amazing. Not too overdone, yet elegant, stylish, and gorgeous!
"You weren't lying when you said you were the best." I said.
Eddie grinned.
"Another satisfied client." He said nodding.
"Thanks so much Eddie! I love it!" I said.
Eddie smiled and walked me to the front of the building where my mother had just finished.
I waved goodbye to Eddie as my mother and I walked out to the car.
-
The ball was under way. Charlie and I were sticking together as Harry went from dance partner to dance partner. I respectfully declined several dances myself. I think mother is catching on to my plan though. I'm sticking close to Charlie so that people think we're together or something. That way we don't have to put up with anyone. I saw my mother giving me a suggestive look from where she was standing with father talking to people that I don't know. They looked important enough though. Father was certainly engaged with them. Mother's looks were urging me to mingle with people. Yeah right. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around. My mouth dropped open in surprise.
"Remus! What are you doing here?" I asked.
He smiled and bowed before me.
"May I have this dance?" He asked.
He took my hand and led me to the dance floor.
"You look surprised to see me." He said smirking.
"Um, yes?" I said.
He laughed.
"What are you doing here?" I asked again.
"I'm here with my parents." He said as he pointed to the people that were talking to my parents.
"Your parents come to these things?" I asked.
"Yes. My father is actually the head of the department of muggle relations and is good friends with your father. I believe they play polo quite frequently."
"Really? Why didn't you ever tell me?" I said.
"You never asked. Besides, I did tell you that I knew who you were. Did you ever think why I knew you? I mean, lots of people, even people that go to Hogwarts know about your dad. But you're not really in the public eye much are you? So how would I have known you if I hadn't of came to these parties before and knew of you from my father?" Remus said.
Well it makes sense. Though I'm feeling quite stupid now.
"Well, I'm glad that I now have a friend to be with me so I don't have to go through these things alone. Remus smirked at me. Again with the smirk. Surely he isn't still up to something? The song ended and Remus bowed, kissing my hand.
"My lady." He said.
I rolled my eyes and we stepped off of the dance floor.
"Have you seen Charlie?" I asked.
"No. But I do see someone else familiar." Remus said grinning.
I started to ask what he was talking about when my mother walked up.
"Excuse me." Remus said walking away.
I watched him leave before I turned to my mother. She had someone with her that I hadn't noticed before. I almost passed out on the spot.
Never would I have expected this. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it might explode. There was a loud ringing in my ears and I closed my eyes. I could feel it coming. The familiar darkness that consumes my mind, it was coming. But I fought it. I could not, I would not, let my mind be its victim anymore. I opened my eyes to see a face I hoped I would never have to see again. His smirk was set as he reached out his hand for mine. I didn't even budge. I wouldn't touch him. His handsome features did not falter once. I remember girls used to swoon at just one of his dark, yet attracting glances. But I knew who he really was. I had seen behind his charm.
I looked at my mother, and she was smiling. Her smile wasn't her political/social smile either. It was her real smile. The rare one that only father could make her use. The real smile that she used to use all the time when I was little. It was the fact that she was using that smile now that hurt so much.
"Lily, I want you to meet-" Mother began.
"Excuse me mother, but could I steal Lily for a moment?" Charlie appeared all of a sudden.
"Charlie?" I asked.
My mother was surprised by Charlie just showing up so suddenly.
"Lily, you're not going to believe who's here." Charlie said to me.
"Who is here Charles?" Mother asked overhearing what Charlie said.
"Oh, um..." Charlie began.
"Here they are!" Harry said walking toward us.
I looked past him to see who Harry was leading to us and my mouth dropped open in shock. Mother, too, seemed to notice the person behind Harry.
"Who is your friend Harold?" Mother asked.
He stepped from behind Harry and walked toward my mother giving her a slight bow of respect.
"Hello, I'm James Potter." He said.
"Are you any relation to Henry and Charlotte Potter?" My mother asked.
What! How does she know the Potters?!
"They're my parents actually. I believe they are here somewhere." James said.
"Really?" Mother asked intrigued.
"Hello Lily." James said smirking.
I was just standing there speechless.
"You know my daughter?" Mother asked him.
"Well, they're dating." Charlie said.
Mother spun around to face him.
"What?" She asked.
"We all go to school together." Charlie said.
Before anyone could say anything, Remus reappeared whispering to Charlie and suddenly the two of them dragged James and Harry away with an 'excuse us'. Remus didn't seem a bit surprised to see James either. Must be the answer to the smirk.
I turned back to mother and him. How could this be happening? There's no way this could be possible.
"Hello Lily. It's been quite a long time." He said politely, but the look in his eyes was purely evil.
I glanced across the hall where Charlie, Harry, and Remus had been trying to distract James. James wasn't even supposed to be here. Why didn't I know that he was coming? By the way mother was acting I suppose his parents are pretty important. But they're magical, how does mother know them? Then again, Remus' parents are magical too. I could see James trying to look at me as Remus and Charlie tried to keep his attention.
"Charlie, help! It's him. It's HIM!" I thought frantically to my brother.
"Who Lils?" Charlie asked.
"HIM! From Drumstrang! This is HIM! He's the one that raped me!" I said looking over at Charlie as my mother talked.
"WHAT!!" Charlie screamed in my thoughts and out loud.
I could see Harry, Remus and James looking at him strangely and asking him what was wrong. He must have told them. James looked ready to kill, Remus looked confused and Harry- realization dawned on his face. I could read his lips as he spoke to them.
"But that's- that's her betrothed!" Harry said.
All four boys spun around to stare at me. And suddenly there were screams as wizards with hoods and masks swept into the ballroom. Panic ensued, as people discovered that all of the exits were blocked by these hooded beings. Deatheaters, as they called themselves, pulled out their wands and started shooting hexes at wizard and muggles alike. I stood there as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at me laughing. I didn't know what to do.
A/N: So here are Two chapters for making you wait so long. Were you surprised to find out who the betrothed was? Let me know what you think. Peaceinallfascination