A/N: This chapter is kind of short but if I posted it with the next section it would be way too long. Anyway, I think I was too subtle in my a/n with the last chapter, so I just want to say PLEASE REVIEW! I will seriously send you virtual hugs and cookies. And thanks to notweirdgifted and PurpleNutella (love the username btw) for the reviews! I love you guys! Seriously.
DAN POV:
"Dan!"
I jumped. "What?"
"I've been calling your name for the last five minutes," said Phil. "What are you so deep in thought about?"
"Dunno."
"Dan, you have been moping around this apartment for the last week. You haven't made any videos. All you have done is send out one tweet to let your followers know that your live chat was canceled."
I just shrugged. I had honestly been trying to come up with ideas for videos, but I couldn't find anything that interested me enough to make a video about it. I didn't want to think about it but it was as though Marley had brought some light into my life and now that she was gone, I realized how plain and dull my life really was.
"Ever since that girl left you haven't left the house and come to think of it, I haven't seen you eat much."
"Yeah, dude. I just don't know."
"Don't know what? That you are crazy about her? Because it's pretty obvious that you are."
"I don't have any way of contacting her."
"You didn't even get her number?"
"I gave her mine."
"Oh. And she hasn't called?"
I just shook my head. Why hadn't she called yet? After asking me to spend the night with her on the sofa, did she really not intend to talk to me again? Was she just using me?
"You know what?" said Phil, coming and sitting next to me on the couch. "It doesn't matter why she hasn't called you. Maybe she lost her phone. Maybe she is embarrassed after what happened. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable asking you for anything else."
"I guess," I responded.
"Hey, maybe she looked you up on YouTube and got distracted by your seductive banana eating and is just stuck on her computer watching that clip on repeat."
"Maybe." I almost smiled. Phil really was a great friend.
"We're going to get her back. Okay? I won't have any more of this mopey Dan. I want happy Dan. I'll help you do whatever you need to."
Phil sat there with me through the night, helping me write, shoot, and edit a video that would get Marley's attention.
MARLEY POV:
A week had passed and I still hadn't called him. I would take my phone out every few minutes and start to type his name into the contacts just to see it come up. But I never called. I told myself that it was because I had no reason to call him. He had helped me out and I thanked him and went on my way. But I knew that I wanted to. Maybe it was because I had just broken up with Jake only a few days ago. Maybe it was because I knew that he was sweet and wouldn't want an emotionally damaged, masochistic girl like me around. He deserved better.
In that amount of time, I had watched every single one of his videos and his side channel videos. (I had plenty of time now because I quit my job in an effort to make sure Jake could not find me if he got angry again.) His adorable awkwardness made me smile, but what I liked best were those moments when he would let out a genuine laugh or break into one of his perfect smiles. I checked his channel everyday for a new video. That was where I found myself tonight: on his channel again. But this time, there was a new video. My heart skipped a beat and I eagerly clicked on it.
"Hello Internet," he began. "I know this video is late and I'm sorry. I know a lot of you were thinking I was deathly sick or had actually died, especially after I canceled on YouNow. But rest assured, I am here and healthy." He paused and looked down. "This video," he said, looking back up, "is not going to be a normal video. I wanted to talk about something more serious. Something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. Don't worry, I won't get too philosophical on you…. I wanted to talk about abuse."
My stomach did a flip. Oh my god. Is he going to talk about me? What the hell? I wasn't angry. I was… shocked? And… happy? Shocked at the fact that he would bring up something that had happened between us on YouTube, and happy that he was thinking about me.
"Now, there are two kinds of abuse. Neither of which are acceptable. The first is abuse from others. This could be when anyone, from an enemy to a significant other, makes unwanted physical contact with you or uses abusive words against you. Even if you don't feel like you are being abused at the time, if you look back on it and realized that you are not okay with what happened, it can be abuse. The other kind is abuse from yourself. In many cases, this kind follows after the first. Many people at some point in their lives see themselves as worthless, or undeserving of life. I firstly want to tell you that you are not worthless." My mouth fell open as I heard him repeat the words he had said to me when I left that day. "It is not worth beating yourself up over anything that you have no control over. Either forget about it, or do something about it. I can tell you that self-harm and withdrawing from the world are not the answer. If you feel worthless, do whatever it is that has some power to counteract those feelings. That is what this video is. It is my 'doing something about it.' I'm not going to lie to you. Last week I was… introduced to something special. And it vanished as quickly as it came into my life. I'm still not sure if I will get to, um, experience it ever again. This last week, I have been doing absolutely nothing. I couldn't get myself to make a video or leave the house because I didn't feel… whole. I was mentally beating myself up because I felt like maybe I wasn't worth it."
I was staring open mouthed at the screen. Holy shit. He's talking about me. This video is about me.
"I just hope that this video can give any of you who are experiencing any king of abuse the courage do something about it. I have just put myself out in the open. Now it's your turn."
Now its your turn…. The words echoed in my head.
Its my turn. I had to call him.
I picked up my phone and hit send.