Chapter Title: Desperate Times

Title: lessons

AUTHOR: obisgirl
Rating: nc-17
Characters: Killian/Emma

Summary: Fairytale land – AU. Emma is a princess on the verge of becoming a woman but wants more out of life than what her parents can give her, so she makes a wish to be swept away which translates into being kidnapped and sold at a slave auction to one Captain Killian Jones.

A/N: The Evil Queen's curse never happened.

Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time characters are property of Disney and Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis. This fanfic is for pure entertainment.

Killian needs a drink, several in fact, anything to dull the pain in his heart. It isn't often that he gets heartbroken over a woman, a princess even but what else is he going to do? He loved an amazing lass, lost her and now, she doesn't want to see him ever again.

And she's serious!

That's the only reason he walks into the nearest bar and orders continuous shots of whiskey. He would make a toast after the bartender hands him his first glass but he's alone.

As if on cue, Starkey, Smee and a few others of his crew show up and grabs chairs, sitting all around him. "To have loved and lost is the worst pain in this world," he muses.

"You had to let her go at some point," Starkey recognizes.

"She hates me," Killian says bluntly, "I told her everything and I foolishly thought that I could still win her back,"

Smee scrunches his nose, picking up a glass. "At least you were honest and for us – that is a miracle in itself," he adds. "Emma – Princess Emma – she would have made one hell of a pirate but she was never a part of our world, Captain,"

"Smee's right," Starkey agrees. "but she'll be a hard lass to forget,"

"She seems determined to forget about me, though I don't think she'll start drinking anytime soon," Killian reasons, fingering the empty glass in front of him. "I never deserved her,"

"True love," a voice interrupts and Killian turns around, looking over at the woman, "Must always be fought for, otherwise why do we live?"

Starkey turns curiously towards the other woman and the other pirate's disburse.

"True love is the only thing that makes us feel alive," she continues, "even if your love says that she doesn't want you, you can't give up,"

"And what do you know of True Love?" he asks.

"I'm still separated from mine but not by choice," she says, "but you have a choice: you can continue in your grief or fight to get her back,"

Killian grabs a different glass of whiskey. "I fought, I scaled her tower, begged her to forgive me and she told me that she never wants to see me again," he retorts, "Why should I even bother fighting for someone who doesn't want me back?"

"Because she's hurt and doesn't know how to deal with her grief – and that is the most dangerous time," the stranger adds, "You left her because she said that she didn't want to see you again but what happens tomorrow when her grief doesn't go away and she has to deal with it? She'll get desperate and do anything for a moment of peace. That is why you have to fight for your love, to save her before it's too late,"

Killian shrugs, focusing on his whiskey. "I'm in no condition to save her from herself at the moment," he reasons, "She hates me and I don't blame her; I hurt her badly,"

"Love hurts sometimes but that's how it is, it can be beautiful one moment and hurt the next," she says. "At least think about it while you drink yourself into a stupor,"

Killian glances again at the woman. "What's your name?" he ventures.

But she's gone.

Emma thought that she would have a peaceful sleep, lying in her own bed but she can't stop thinking about the one who broke her heart. It's the only reason why she sneaks out of her room and walks down several flights of stairs to the kitchen, searching through various cabinets for any bottle of liquor.

But gives up looking and sits in silence, wondering if she'll always feel this way.

It hurt when Killian told her the truth, that same hurt stung even more when he tried to win her back. It was noble and honest and she's always valued honesty but this is one of those times, when he didn't have to tell her the truth.

But would it still hurt the same later if she found out the truth from someone else? Probably more so.

It still doesn't excuse what he did.

Emma sighs heavily and jumps suddenly as she hears someone else walk into the kitchen but relaxes when she realizes it's only her mother.

"Couldn't sleep?" Snow asks, sitting down next to her. "Scared you might be kidnapped again?"

"That's not why I couldn't sleep, mother," Emma whispers.

Snow places a soothing hand on hers, smiling kindly. "When I was little girl, whenever I had a nightmare or couldn't sleep, my mother used to sing me to sleep. She had the most beautiful voice and being in her arms, never failed to put me to sleep," she recalls. "I loved her so much and was heartbroken when she died suddenly, leaving only my father and I. I didn't have any siblings, no one to share my grief with except my father who tried singing me to sleep for several nights after her death,"

"Did it work?"

Snow smiles. "Your grandfather didn't really have the best voice," she admits, "but I didn't really care because it was the gesture that mattered,"

Emma's quiet, looking tentatively at her. "Are you going to suggest that I sit in your lap and you sing me to sleep?" she asks. "Because I think I'm too old for that,"

Snow laughs. "Goodness no," she says, "but maybe it would help to talk about whatever's bothering you. You've been through something traumatic Emma and I don't expect you to be brave and keep it all inside because you're a little older today than you were a few days ago. Your father and I want to give you comfort Emma, any way that we can but we can't do our job as parents if you don't help us understand what you're feeling,"

"Thanks but I need to do deal with this in my own way," Emma reflects.

"Emma," Snow pleads, "Did he hurt you in any way? Is that why you refuse to talk about him?"

Killian did hurt her but not in the way her mother thinks. He wounded her her heart but he didn't hurt her physically.

"He's gone, you know," she adds, "he escaped his prison cell. He left the castle unnoticed and I suppose, the kingdom as well which is probably for the best,"

"That probably doesn't make daddy very happy," Emma muses.

"Your father loves you Emma; he would do anything to protect you from harm – so would I," Snow continues,

"but you don't want to talk about it, do you?"

Emma shrugs. "What I went through, I don't think it's anything you or daddy can help me with, mother," she

says, "I know you want to help and soothe my pain but I have to deal with this myself; you have to let me heal on my own,"

"Okay," Snow agrees and kisses her temple, "If it'll help you to give you the space you need, that's what we'll do. I love you Emma, you'll always be my baby girl and want to help you solve your problems, big or small,"

"I know mom," she whispers.

Charming and Snow can't help but stare oddly at Emma the next morning as she appears before them, dressed in full riding gear. "You want to leave?" Charming asks slowly.

"Seriously," Emma starts, "If I don't try and go out on my own, then I'll never leave my room until the day I marry. I used to love my daily rides; there's no reason to stop doing the things that I love because something happened to me a week ago,"

"Maybe bring someone with you, a guard at least," Charming offers.

"And I thought riding on my own would be a healthy coping mechanism," she reasons. "I'll only be out for a few hours and come back as soon as I clear my head,"

Snow sighs, remembering her conversation with her the previous night and braces Charming's arm. "If riding alone will help you feel better, then enjoy your ride Emma," she says.

Emma smiles thoughtfully before turning on her heel, heading out for the stables.

"Letting her go out on her own without even a guard?" Charming cries, "Snow, how can you agree to that?"

"You'd be surprised," she muses, "to learn that our daughter is a lot stronger than we give her credit. Anyone else would hide themselves in their room for a week or more but Emma's willing to deal with this on her own

terms,"

Emma's not strong. After her late night talk with her mother, she walked back upstairs to her room and cried herself to sleep. This morning when she woke up, the tears were still fresh and Emma knew, it wasn't going to get any easier. She sat in bed for three hours, trying to think of anything else but the silence was too much for her.

That's why she decided to take a ride, not really caring where she ends up but it had to be the dwarves' cabin. The dwarves don't live there anymore since they all have rooms in the castle; the cabin's been abandoned for years but Emma's found that it's the only place where she can find peace when she's troubled.

Like she is now.

Walking through the dwarves' cottage, Emma feels a sense of calmness envelop her, the way she knew it would but there's a different feeling in the air, an unusual darkness she's never felt before.

"Something bothering you child?" a voice asks and Emma turns as a hooded woman enters.

Emma's not immediately bothered by her presence; she knows how to defend herself if necessary. "This place used to bring me peace," she says.

"And it doesn't anymore?" the stranger wonders.

"I've had a rough week," Emma says simply and turns, regarding her. "So much pain and loss, I thought being here would help me heal,"

The woman smiles. "Perhaps you need a different solution," she offers.

It's only then that Emma nods, knowing exactly which solution the old woman is referring too. "Would you mind removing your hood, madame?" Emma asks.

The woman removes her hood and looks at Emma; the princess recognize her immediately "Do you have it?" she asks.

She removes an apple as red as blood from her cloak and Emma stares at it. "You do realize if you eat this, you'll fall into a deep slumber and you'll be trapped in your own misery," the woman explains, "Everything you're feeling now will be magnified ten times in your sleep state,"

"I've tried getting over this pain on my own and nothing's worked; my parents want to help me but they can't erase this," Emma cries, "but if I eat this apple, at least I'll have a chance for some peace and that is something I desperately need right now,"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," the witch agrees, "but I still applaud you princess; you're not even scared of the consequences of eating this apple,"

Emma shrugs. "I've already faced death and I was scared of dying, but he saved me. And he'll save me every night in my dreams, I'll remember him as the man I loved; not the one who betrayed me," she says, "and that's what I want,"

The witch stares after her as Emma takes the apple from her hand and bites into it, immediately feeling the effect, the poison making its way through her body until she feels knees buckle underneath her, falling to the ground, the red apple rolling out of her hand.

tbc