Chapter 26- It Will Never Be Enough
"Here you are."
I turned around.
"Hey Tiffany." I said.
"Wow, I'm really going to miss this view." She said sitting down on the ground next to me.
We sat in silence for awhile and watched the setting sun reflect into the Great Lake.
"It's hard to believe that we're leaving." She said.
"I know. It still doesn't feel real." I said.
"I'm sure it will tomorrow, on the train." She said.
I nodded.
"So, Lily, what's up with you lately? I feel like we haven't really talked in a long time. We've both been so busy with NEWTS. I'm glad those are finally over.." She said.
"Not too much really, and I couldn't agree with you more. It seems like everyone can finally breathe now that NEWTS are finished." I said.
"Yeah. And now that Dumbledore's called off the graduation ceremony, it's one last thing to worry about I guess." She said sadly.
"He didn't really have a choice though. Most of the younger students have already been pulled out by their parents, it just wasnt a really good idea to get a lot of witches and wizards gathered together right now. Might as well hold up a target, even if it is at Hogwarts." I said.
She gave me a funny look.
"Lily, Hogwarts is the safest place in the world." She said.
I shrugged.
"But I guess you're right. Probably wouldn't have had many people come in any case." she said.
I nodded and we sat staring at the lake in silence for a few minutes.
"Are you and Charlie going back home tomorrow or...?" She said.
"I honestly don't know." I said slowly.
She nodded.
"I'm getting an apartment." She said.
I looked over at her.
"That's great! Have you decided on where you're applying?" I asked.
"I'm not applying anywhere. I'm going to accept the invitation to Q.I.D." She said.
"Don't you think you should apply to some places just in case? You never know, you might hate professional Quidditch." I said.
I never doubted her ability to actually be drafted to a professional league. Anyone who had seen her play would understand that. She was simply a natural at the game.
She laughed.
"It's only been my dream for as long as I can remember." She said.
I nodded, smiling.
"Is Sirius going to play too?" I asked.
She made a sour face.
"No. He went and applied to the auror training academy." She said.
"What? Why?" I asked.
The aurors are on the front lines of this war!
"He didn't even tell me he had applied, I overheard him talking to the boys about it. And honestly, I don't know what to think. I understand why he thinks he has to do it, but it doesn't make me happy about him putting himself in danger like that.. I love Sirius, but you and I both know he can be a bit reckless. " She said.
A bit reckless? That's an understatement. Sirius thrived on living by impulses. He just wasn't the type to think things through.
"Why is he doing it?" I asked.
"Because of Regulus I think, but he won't actually say it." She said.
"Are you guys going to be ok?" I asked.
She shrugged.
"Ashley and Remus are applying to Healer Academy, Sarah and Peter are going to the Ministry, I wonder how we'll all get on with our lives and keep our friendship up." She said.
"Remus is going to Healer academy? Really? I always saw him as more of the political type." I said.
She laughed.
"Oh well, those two are just inseparable I guess." She said.
I smiled.
"Is James going to the tryout?" She asked.
"I don't know. I'm not sure either of us have decided either way. And Charlie..." I didn't know how to finish that sentence.
Charlie was still Charlie, only it was like he just wouldn't allow himself to be happy again. We all understood a little bit of what he must be going through, but we didn't really know how to handle it. It's like we all asked ourselves the same question, 'What would we do if it were us?' ...probably feel a lot like dying too. So we just let him deal with it however he needs to. Some days he goes down to the kitchens with the Marauders past curfew laughing and scheming with them and some days he just disappears to the astronomy tower all day and hides out by himself all depressed.
"Yeah." She said sadly.
"I wonder where we'll all be in a year. You know, there's a good chance that after tomorrow, we may never see some of these people from Hogwarts ever again. Not to be negative or anything, but it is a war. And..people die in wars." She said.
I looked back over to her.
"Sirius will be just fine. He's smart. He's a good dueler. And he comes from a dark family, so I'd say he actually has an advantage over some aurors just because he knows how the Death Eaters' minds work. And all of us, we're all going to be fine. You'll see." I said.
It was a lie. We both knew it. Not all of us were going to make it out of this war alive. It was just this deep feeling I had. But either way, it still felt better to pretend that we were.
"Lils?" He whispered.
I didn't look up when he sat down next to me on his bed.
"We've only got about an hour until we have to leave." He stated.
I sighed as I let go of his sheets that I had been clutching. For some reason, I've been coming into James' room when he's not around and I need to think. Maybe it's because I think his bed is more comfortable than mine, or maybe it's because I know he'll find me in here eventually, or maybe it's because this room is so utterly James that it relaxes me when I get worked up and upset about something. It's like even though he isn't in the room, it's just so him that I can start to feel comfortable in the way that only he can make happen.
I looked up at his face.
"Are you ok?" He asked softly.
I shrugged.
"Do you want to talk about what happened with Dumbledore earlier today? Why he asked to see you?" He asked.
I shrugged again and he sighed.
"Lils.." He said.
"I don't really want to talk about it." I said.
He nodded and put an arm around me, slightly pulling me into him.
"How was your day with the Marauders?" I asked.
I couldn't see his face, but I just knew that he was smiling.
"It was great. One last time and all that. We had to leave our mark." He said.
I laughed.
"I don't even want to know." I said.
James chuckled.
"I was hoping that you and I could take a walk before we head to the train. If you're up for it." He said.
I pulled away and looked at him as he smiled back at me.
"That sounds nice." I said.
We got up and made our way out of the room, and I glanced back one last time to memorize everything about this room, his room.
Once we were outside in the sun he gave my hand a squeeze and we walked toward the lake. I was glad that neither of us said anything. He didn't press me about telling him why Dumbledore requested to see me alone in his office today. He didn't ask for details, or try and make me feel guilty about not telling him. It was just what I needed really. And I felt really glad that James was with me. James understands me. And sometimes I think he understands me better than I understand myself. Just thinking about it made me smile.
James looked over at me, but he didn't ask me what I was suddenly smiling about. He just smiled too.
After about 20 minutes of walking around the grounds in silence I pulled James to sit down next to me on the ground.
"Everything is changing James." I said.
"Yes, it is." He said smiling.
I rolled my eyes.
"I don't want it to change." I said.
"Lils, everything will be ok you know. It's going to be different, but a good different. This is exciting." He said.
I shrugged.
"Have you decided on what you're going to do?" I asked him.
He took a deep breath and nodded his head.
"I'm going to apply to the auror academy...just not directly. I want to play for at least a year." He said.
I nodded. Maybe in a year this war would be over and it wouldn't be as dangerous to be an auror as it is now.
"Did you tell your parents?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"I was hoping you'd go with me when I tell them." He said.
I nodded.
"Lily, there's something I want to ask you.. I've been thinking about it for some time now." He said.
For some reason, I immediately started to panic.
"James, I don't think that-"
"I want you to move in with me." He said quickly.
"..."
"Well? What do you think?" He asked.
"James- I- I can't." I said.
He frowned.
"Why not? Lily, we've practically lived together all year. And I do not want you going back to your parents' house." He said.
"I know. And it isn't because I don't want to James, I just can't." I said.
He looked at me expectantly, waiting for an explanation.
"I can't leave Charlie alone. I think I'm going to get an apartment with him. Tiffany told me yesterday that she's got an apartment and it sounds pretty good to me." I said.
He frowned.
"Lily, I know you're concerned about your brother, but Charlie can take care of himself." He said.
"Have you seen him lately? I can't leave him. He needs me!" I said.
"No he doesn't. He's just grieving, its natural. Charlie will be fine. You don't need to baby sit him, I don't think he'd appreciate that." James said.
"Excuse me? I do not baby sit him! He's my brother James, I'm just trying to look out for him. Is it such a bad thing to care about someone?" I shouted angrily.
"Lils, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." James said.
I stood up.
"Forget it." I said and I turned around to walk away but James had stood up as well and grabbed my hand.
"Lily. Don't. I'm sorry, that came out the wrong way. Don't be angry with me." He said.
I shook my head as I kept my back to him. I refused to look at him as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.
"Lils, I really didn't mean that. If you think you need to be with Charlie then I understand." He said.
I sighed.
"I just, I love him you know. It hurts me to see him this way." I said as I slowly turned around to face James.
He pulled me into him as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I pulled my arms up to hug him as well.
"I know you didn't mean that, I just overreacted. I'm really stressed about...everything I guess." I said.
The morning's meeting with Dumbledore flashing in my head.
"I love you Lils." He whispered.
"I love you too. That's why I can't leave Charlie. I just keep thinking, 'What if that was me and I had lost you?' I don't know if I could-"
"Its ok Lils. Everything will be ok." James said.
"I hope you're right." I said.
"Well mates, let's take our last ride on the good ol' Hogwarts Express." Sirius said.
"I hope you're not about to start crying Padfoot." Peter said.
We all laughed as Sirius playfully punched Peter in the arm.
We all seated ourselves in the Heads compartment taking full advantage of its luxuries.
"So, Pete, want a rematch?" Sirius asked as he tossed a chocolate frog box up and down.
Peter's face lost color for a moment.
"Urgh, no thanks. I still can't eat chocolate frogs yet." He said.
Remus laughed.
"How about you, Moony?" Sirius asked.
"No thanks, Padfoot." Remus said smiling.
And then Sirius mumbled something that sounded an awfully lot like 'fun-sucker' and Remus whacked him on the back of the head.
I remembered him once telling me that one of the perks to being a werewolf is his heightened sense of hearing.
Everyone chuckled as Sirius looked at Remus like he'd been seriously wronged, all the while rubbing the back of his head.
"So Lils...Charlie tell you the good news?" Sirius asked turning to me.
I glanced at Charlie.
"What good news?" I asked.
"We're going to be partners of course." He said.
James' arm around my shoulder tightened.
"Sirius.." James seemed to be warning him.
But Sirius seemed oblivious to James' warning tone and instead focused on my bewildered face.
"You mean he didn't tell you?" Sirius asked.
I looked at Charlie who looked rather indifferent as he sat there next to Remus and Peter.
"Tell me what exactly?" I asked.
Sirius at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed.
"Er, that we both, um, got accepted into the auror academy?" He said.
What?
I snapped my head to look over at Charlie.
"What?" I asked.
Sirius looked just as uncomfortable as everyone else in the room. Charlie however seemed very passe' about the whole thing. James, who had been slouched into the seat next to me now sat up straight with his hand gripping my shoulder as if he were afraid I was about to physically attack Charlie or something.
Deciding I'd rather not start shouting or crying in front of every one of my friends, I calmly got up and excused myself from the compartment. I closed the door and took off running for the bathroom. I'd just shut the bathroom door when it was wrenched open again by my brother.
"I'm sorry you had to find out that way Lils." He said.
I couldn't help the tears, but I really, really tried not to cry.
Charlie came inside and shut and locked the door.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"Because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it." He said.
"Of course I'd try to talk you out of it! Are you insane? Or do you just have a death wish?" I yelled.
Charlie frowned.
"I have to do this Lils. I want to do this." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
This didn't make any sense to me at all.
"For her, Lily. They killed her." He said.
"Oh Charlie, no! This isn't right. She wouldn't want you to do this. She wouldn't want you to be putting yourself in danger like this." I said.
He shook his head.
"Its too late. I'm going to do this." He said.
I couldn't take it anymore.
"Charlie. You have to let it go! You can't keep doing this! You have to let her go." I said.
Charlie looked at me like I had just held up a gun to him.
"What? How can you say that? You were her friend!" He said.
I shook my head.
"Yes, and all of us loved her Charlie, but you have to let her go. She's gone, Charlie." I said.
"You don't think I know that?" He said.
"Sometimes I'm not so sure." I said.
He sat down in the floor with his head on his knee.
"I know you think I've lost my mind Lils, and for awhile there you'd have been right, but this is the first time since it happened that I feel like I'm getting back on track, you know? And it's because I know this is what I'm meant to do. And honestly, its not just about her. I mean, look what happened to our family because of this war. And other families who are all being killed outright. I mean, I know the papers arent showing much of it now, but its only a matter of time. And Im sick of it. Im not going to stand aside and do nothing. There's enough people doing that already. Its just the right thing to do. Please understand." He said.
I sat down next to him, thinking of my discussion with Dumbledore.
"I wish there wasn't a war." I said.
He looked up.
"You're not the first person to say that." He said.
"Well, fine. But I'm still not happy about this." I said.
He threw an arm around me and pulled me into him.
We sat there on the bathroom floor in silence for a few minutes, and it was more than a little cramped.
"So..what do we do when we get back to London?" I asked.
Charlie made a sour face.
"You know what we have to do." He said.
I made a sour face.
"Lils, we have to go back there. It's not going to be easy. But it's the right thing to do. And when we get there we'll tell them what's going on and that we are moving out." He said.
"To no objections, I'm sure." I said.
"Where are we going?"
"Well, auror training starts in a few weeks, and I'll have to go live at the academy for the summer." He said.
"You have to live there? But what am I going to do?" I asked.
"I don't want you staying in an apartment by yourself. Muggle London or magical London, its still too dangerous." He said.
"James asked me to move in with him." I muttered.
"What? Absolutely not!" He said.
"Oh, so it's ok for you to ask Leah to marry you but James can't ask me to move in with him?" I said.
"Damn straight!" He said.
I rolled my eyes.
"Well that's logical." I said sarcastically.
"Listen, until there is a ring on your finger and a priest declaring you husband and wife, then you're not living with him." He said.
"Don't you think I'm old enough to decide for myself what I want to do?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Doesn't matter. It's not happening, over my dead body." He said.
"Charlie! Don't say things like that. And would you please quit acting like James is some evil Death Eater that just wants to ravish me every night. It's not like that." I said.
"Well, the Death Eater part at least." Charlie muttered.
"Charlie! I thought we talked about you not acting like a twelve year old when it comes to my relationship with James?" I said.
"But I'm still not happy about it." He mimicked me from earlier.
"Then what do you want me to do since you're going to be abandoning me in a few weeks?" I asked.
He got serious.
"Lily, I'm not abandoning you. What about Tiffany? She's going to be on her own as well. Why don't the two of you get an apartment together? I'd feel better if it were at least the two of you together instead of both of you on your own. And I'm sure Sirius would agree." He said.
"I'll think about it. But where are we staying until we find a place?" I asked.
"Sirius is staying at the Potter's place and James isn't moving out until we're gone. We're going to stay there for awhile and we'll figure everything out." He said.
I nodded and he picked us both up off of the floor.
"Come on, we've been hogging the bathroom for the past hour and this tiny closet is getting cramped. Not to mention that I'm none to thrilled for spending most of the time on my last Hogwarts train ride in here." He said as he opened the door and lead us back to our friends.
When we got back to the compartment we sat down and conversation carried on like we hadn't just been gone for a good hour.
James put his arm around me and kissed my forehead.
"Everything ok now?" He asked quietly so no one else could hear.
I nodded.
"So you knew about Charlie then?" I asked.
He nodded.
"I just found out right after NEWTS. It wasn't my place to tell you Lils, I'm sorry." He whispered.
"I'm not mad." I said as I leaned into him.
Everyone stopped talking about the Tornado's and the Arrows' last match to look at us as Sirius shouted out,
"Lils, all good in Evans land?"
I grinned.
"Well, I suppose. Im still going to beat you for dropping it on me like that." I joked.
It wasn't very long at all before we were getting off of the train, my trunk still shrunken in my pocket. Now that I had graduated school, I could do magic outside of Hogwarts regardless of age.
After everyone hugged goodbye, it was Sirius who announced the final parting words.
"So, see everyone in a week at James' place for dinner?" he asked.
Everyone nodded or chorused their agreement and started going their own ways. James was still holding my hand as Charlie looked around and surprisingly spotted our father's entourage waiting for us.
"Lily, please don't go back there. No offense, but I think your mother may be the devil and rivaled only by Sirius' mum, respectfully." He said.
I laughed.
"It's fine. I've taken to tuning out her rants on my being a failure. But in any case, I'll owl you the second I'm officially disowned." I said.
"That's it, I'm coming with you." He said seriously.
"James, I was only joking! It'll be alright." I said.
"I don't want her blaming you for things that aren't your fault." He said.
"I've had worse." I said.
He frowned and pulled me into his arms.
"But that's my point Lily, and as long as I'm here I want to make sure you don't have to feel like that. Let me come with you?" He said.
"I don't think it's such a bad idea. It wouldn't hurt, he's a Potter for crying out loud. You think she'd do anything in front of him? Knowing who his parents are? ..Not a chance." Charlie said.
James pulled away.
"It's settled then. Let's go." He said.
I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I'm so glad Lily gets to make her own decisions." I said sarcastically as James waved off the chauffeur and opened my door for me himself.
"It's only because we have your best interest at heart Lils, and we just know whats best for you." Charlie said as he and James laughed.
The ride was as long and boring as usual, and I ended up falling asleep on James' shoulder at some point and it wasn't until we had stopped and James had started trying to shake me that I woke up.
James laughed at my disoriented state. Well, I hope I drooled on him since he laughed at me. And I started laughing at the thought of a drool covered James. He gave me a funny look before he opened the door and once I saw the house, I stopped laughing abruptly.
"Lils, you're not headed to the gallows you know." Charlie said laughing.
"Yeah, but still, time to face the music." I said.
James squeezed my hand and we got out of the car and made our way to the open front door where Jerry stood waiting to greet us.
"Master Charles, Miss Lily, it's good to have you home. And welcome back Mr. Potter." He said.
James looked really surprised.
"Oh, um, yes, thank you." He stuttered.
Charlie and I laughed. We weren't surprised at all. James just didn't know, Jerry was like Dumbledore's other half or something. He never missed anything.
I took the first few steps into the entrance hall and my breath caught in my throat. I had to stop walking as I stared ahead at the staircase, remembering Harry walking down them and greeting us the last time Charlie and I came home.
Someone coughed and I had to blink a few times to snap out of it. I took a deep breath and looked around, trying to notice any differences. Of course, the house had been completely restored; you couldn't even tell that almost a whole wing had been destroyed just a few months ago.
"Jerry, could you have a room prepared for our guest? He'll be staying with us for a few days. Also, would you happen to know where our parents are?" Charlie said.
Jerry raised an eyebrow.
"Of course master Evans, I'll have a room prepared immediately. Also, I do believe your father is in his office. Shall I call upon him?" Jerry asked.
"That won't be nessecarry. Thanks, Jerry." Charlie said throwing the old butler a wink.
"Of course. I'll just go see to that now then." Jerry said before he bowed and excused himself.
Charlie sighed and looked around.
"Home sweet home, eh?" He said.
"Right. Well, I guess we might as well get this over with?" I asked.
"Probably be the best thing to do." Charlie said before he turned to James.
"Um, I guess we're going to go on up then, make yourself at home." He said.
I pointed James to the kitchens where he could get something to eat since it had been hours since we had all eaten breakfast at Hogwarts.
Charlie and I walked up several flights of stairs and down several hallways until we reached our fathers door.
"Well, hopefully he's not busy, especially since he once again failed to meet us at the station." I said.
Charlie shrugged and knocked on the door loudly.
We opened the door to see our father seated behind his desk, and I think it was the first time that I had ever seen my father start to look old. He looked up and smiled at us though, gesturing us to come in.
"Charlie, Lily, its good to see you both." He said as he stood up and hugged us both.
I was relieved to say the least. I half expected him to be upset.
Everyone sat down on a couch and some chairs next to his fireplace.
"So how was the rest of your term? How did your exams go?" He asked.
"Good. Lily's team won the inter-house Quidditch cup, it was a pretty fantastic victory for Gryffindor." Charlie said.
Our father looked at me and smiled proudly.
"Exams were good too. I think we both did very well." I said.
"That is good news. I'm very proud of you both." He said.
And when it came to father, I didn't doubt it. Mother on the other hand... And speaking of, I wondered where she was..
"Your mother is out with Petunia, planning things for the wedding I'm sure." Father said, it was like he had read my mind.
"Petunia's getting married?" Charlie said surprised.
Father pursed his lips.
"Yes." He said tightly.
"To who? Surely not the whale of a man, Vincent?" Charlie said.
I smirked.
Charlie knew perfectly well his name was Vernon, Petunia only talked about him every minute of the day.
Father seemed to know that as well and he chuckled before reprimanding him.
"Now Charlie, be nice. Your sister is very set about marrying him." He said.
I rolled my eyes discreetly.
Father seemed to catch it, though he didn't comment on it. He only gave me a look like he agreed.
"Did she set a date?" I asked.
"In a few weeks." Father said.
I was shocked. So soon? She hadn't been dating him that long!
Charlie shook his head.
"She always was odd." He murmured.
Father pretended not to hear.
"Father, I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you.." Charlie said.
Our father looked up from his hands to study Charlie.
"Tell me what Charles?" Oh, he only called him that when he meant business.
"That I've been accepted into a very prestigious academy and I leave for the summer in a few weeks." He said.
"What kind of academy? Like a university?" Father asked.
"Not quite. It's the Auror Academy. Aurors are like the police of our world." Charlie said.
Father didn't say anything. He only looked at Charlie.
"Father, there's a war starting in our world. You've seen only the beginning of it at Easter, and that is nothing compared to what's been happening. There was an attack like the one at Easter at the village outside of our school and someone very dear to Lily and I was killed. I can't just sit by and let innocent people die, I have to go out and stop this." Charlie said passionately.
And the way he referred to Leah, well a fool could tell by the sound of his voice that she was more special to Charlie than anything or anyone else. Father stood up and walked toward Charlie. Charlie stood up as well and surprisingly, father put his hand on Charlie's shoulder.
"Son, there are a lot of things that I don't understand about your magical world, and I'm sure there are things that I will never come to understand about it; but I can understand this. I think this is a very honorable thing and I want you to know that I support you in your decision and that I'm very proud to call you my son." He said.
I thought I was going to fall out of my chair in shock as father pulled Charlie in for another hug.
"I think that went rather well." Charlie said.
I rolled my eyes.
"Only because she isn't here. Just wait until dinner." I said thinking about our mother.
"Very true." He said.
We walked into the kitchen where James was sitting at the counter sipping some tea.
"Hey!" He said smiling.
I glanced at Charlie.
"What are you so happy about?" Charlie asked.
James smirked.
"Just getting to know the staff around here.. learnt some pretty interesting stories about my girlfriend and the historic banisters." He said.
Charlie started laughing loudly.
I blushed. The only stories there were about me sliding down the banisters as a child were the ones when I got caught. The only times I ever got caught were when I slammed into someone. And it always ended up being someone really important.
"Ugh, don't even remind me." I said taking a seat next to James.
James laughed a leaned toward me kissing me on the head.
"And here I always pictured Lily Evans as being a sweet little girl in puffy silk dresses." He said.
Charlie was still laughing.
I rolled my eyes.
"I can be sweet thank you very much! As for the dresses, well, those didn't last long." I said.
James smirked.
"Yeah, Lils, you were such a little terror." Charlie said.
"Well, look who's talking Mr. Partner-in-crime." I said.
He just laughed.
"So.. game of Quidditch anyone?" James said.
I shrugged and Charlie nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah floo over and get Sirius, we'll have a game." Charlie said.
James nodded and took some floo powder off the mantle vase on the kitchen fireplace.
After a few minutes the fireplace turned green emitting Sirius Black, quickly followed by James.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite Evans'! Its been far too long chaps." Sirius said slinging an arm around both of us.
"I call Lily this game!" Charlie said.
"What! Isn't it my turn? Padfoot had her last time!" James protested.
"No way James, you don't get to play with her. You're too lovey-dovey, it'll ruin the game." Charlie said.
"Hey! Not when it comes to Quidditch. You're just afraid because you know that we'll obliterate you." I said.
Sirius laughed but put on a fake pout.
"Hey Lily-flower! Are you saying that I didn't do anything to help with our last victory?" He pouted.
I rolled my eyes.
"Oh come on then, lets just play." I said.
I pulled out my wand from my pocket and summoned our brooms before we all made our way out the back of the kitchen and over to our pitch. It was there unbeknown to all of the muggle employees that worked in our house. The only muggles that could see it were my family members, by special permission from the Ministry of Magic.
Halfway through our game, James intercepted the quaffle and stopped the game. We were wondering what was going on until we noticed several people in the stands, two of which were still standing, clearly having just arrived.
Charlie and I glanced at each other before all of us flew over to my parents and my sister.
"Charles, Lilian, I see you have guests?" She said.
Petunia looked on curiously, but stared a little too much at James for my comfort. No doubt she was trying to spot something off about him, other than the fact that he was a wizard.
"This is Sirius Black and of course you remember James Potter, Lily's boyfriend." Charlie introduced.
Mother beamed at James. I had to refrain from the whole eye rolling thing. Petunia was still starring.
"Mr. and Mrs. Evans, it's a pleasure to see you both again." James said politely, extending his hand to my father.
Sirius extended his hand as well.
"Sirius Black, sir, it's nice to meet you." He said.
Father shook his hand too.
"And you boys went to school with Charlie and Lily right?" Father asked.
"Yes, sir." Sirius said.
"Well it's so lovely to have you here again. You both must stay for dinner, of course." Mother said.
"Mrs. Evans, that's extremely kind of you. We would love to." James said.
Mother nodded but I noticed she had that gleam in her eye. She was definitely up to something.
"Well, I'm afraid my daughter Petunia and I will have to excuse ourselves." Mother said before she and Petunia left.
"Splendid game boys, I've always rather enjoyed watching Lily play." Father said.
"They both play on the same House team with Lily." Charlie said.
"Really?" Father asked.
And just like that, the boys all launched into Quidditch talk, reminding my father of the finer points of how the game works and doing a few demonstrations as well. I noticed that father had kept a particularly close eye on James. But it's probably because this is the first time he's really talked to him as my boyfriend. I smiled at all of them. Today didn't seem to be going as bad as I thought it would.
"So James, you were the Head Boy as well?" My mother asked.
James had long ago abandoned any ideas he had of eating. My mother was drilling him with questions.
"That's correct. I was also the Quidditch captain." He said politely.
You could tell that he had grown up knowing exactly how to act and talk to members of high society. It was strange though, I'd never really paid much attention to it before now. James definitely had a political way with people, yet very firmly set on not swaying who he was or what he believed in. It was so admirable, I felt proud just watching him and it was this side of him that reminded me of Harry. Harry had that same way with people. You could really tell that the two of them were natural born leaders.
"That little game Lilian's always playing?" She asked.
"Yes." I answered for James.
She didn't even look at me.
"So, when do you plan on marrying my daughter?" She finally asked.
I knew she was up to something! As soon as she said it several different things happened simultaneously:
Sirius choked on his food, Charlie spewed out his drink from his mouth in surprise, my mouth dropped open rather rudely but justly so, and father starting turning purple. I think James was the only one besides mother that looked rather calm about the whole thing. Luckily Petunia was otherwise previously engaged to be in attendance. I could just imagine her smirk at mother's embarrassing question.
"What?" I shouted.
"Lilian, do not raise your voice. It's highly disrespectful and very unladylike." She had the nerve to say.
"Excuse my outburst, but I kind of feel justified in it! Mother, you can't say something like that to James!" I said.
"Of course I can. I have every right. I want to know that if you're going to refuse my guidance then you're at least going to be marrying somebody." She said.
"Why are you so set on marrying me off?" I said.
"Lilian, every young girl your age dreams of getting married. Why do you have to be so difficult? I never had this much trouble out of Petunia." She said.
"That's because Petunia wants to be a socialite. You know that I've never wanted to be apart of any of it. I'm NOT getting married!" I said.
"Don't talk to me like that young lady! You're getting married if it's the last thing I do, if I have to drag you down the aisle in ropes!" She said.
"I'd like to see you try!" I said.
I was vaguely aware of the fact that everyone was starring at us. Sirius looked quite shocked still, Charlie had returned to eating like nothing was going on at all, and James was still watching quietly.
"Lilian! So help me, I will arrange your marriage in a binding contract if you keep up this disgraceful behavior!" She screeched, at the breaking point of her frustration.
"I'll disown myself." I said simply.
Father cleared his throat and everyone went silent.
"That's enough. Nobody is going to disown anybody." Father said firmly while looking at me and my mother.
"Well then will you please do something about your daughter?" My mother roared.
"I said that's enough Elizabeth, I think we'll retire now." He said very calmly.
Too calmly. Everyone could tell how angry he was.
Mother said nothing. She just looked back over at me pursing her lips before getting up and walking out with father.
"Congratulations, you've just witnessed the famous Evans mother-daughter blood bath." Charlie said with a smirk.
"Oh shut-up, Charlie!" I said.
Charlie dropped his fork and looked up at me.
"I'm sorry. Really, I am. I'm just, I'm still fuming I guess. And you know how I am after our arguments." I said aloud.
"Argument? I think Charlie had it right the first time around. Blood bath is much more fitting." Sirius said.
Charlie at least had the decency to look ashamed this time. I stood up, still not looking at James because I was too embarrassed after mother's outburst.
"Please excuse me." I said quietly.
And I left before anyone said another word. It was only after I'd gotten about fifty feet out of the room that I'd realized I wasn't alone. I stopped and turned around, James was right behind me. He didn't say anything, just kept walking toward me until he could reach my hand. It was a comforting gesture and it felt really good. I pulled him along to my bedroom where we went inside and just lay on the bed together. He held me quietly rubbing my back and stroking my hair. The best part was that he wasn't saying anything. He just seemed to know that at the moment, all I needed was him to just be there with me. And it felt really good that he was. As much as I hate admitting it, I hate when I fight with my mother. I know that I don't have very many nice things to say about her at the best of times, but she's still my mother. It's always bothered her that I'm so different than her. And it's always bothered me that she seems so disappointed with who I am. So naturally, we're going to clash. We're two very different people. But despite that fact that I don't know anyone who can aggravate me as much as she does, it also means that there aren't many people who could hurt me as much as she does. I feel really stupid for thinking this, but I really just want her to love me. I mean, I know she loves me on some level because I'm her daughter. But I want her to like me, and accept me for what I am.
I hadn't realized when I had started crying until James wiped at my tears.
But it seems like no matter how many tears you cry, it will never be enough.