A/N

Hello again, a pretty fast upload this time, don't you think? Well I guess that's what you get when I get sick.

So don't hate me when this chapter sucks! I'm still a little feverish while I'm posting, so...

Anyway, thank you for your kind reviews. It wasn't my intention to make you cry, honestly! It had been my intention when Tauriel died, but not with the previous chapter.

Now I guess you want me to shut up, so you can start reading. Well, all I have to say then, is enjoy!

As weeks turn to months

His eyes find Várar easily, as she stands outside. Her auburn hair flowing in the wind, as she stares over the landscapes. The elves have left only two weeks ago and the sadness is still evident in her eyes. She had wished to return back to Mirkwood, along with the elves. But King Thranduil had convinced her to stay here in Erebor.

Can you imagine? The person who had raised her – the one whom she calls father – just leaving her behind just like that. He knows why the elf did it though, but he can't even imagine what it must feel like for Várar.

He sighs. It's going to a long winter for the young dwarrowdam if she keeps this up. There won't be many dwarves around, not until spring. And if she's already feeling lonely, how will she feel in a couple of months?

Well then... Perhaps he should talk to her, making her feel welcome here. So he gathers up his courage and moves towards the dwarrowdam.

'Várar?'

At the sound of someone calling her name, Várar turns her head. A lone tears rolling down her cheek, but she quickly wipes it away.

'Balin,' she says, greeting the dwarf.

Fíli turns his head towards the said dwarf as well. It seems he has waited too long yet again. For the passed two weeks the young dwarf hasn't been able to talk to the female. Unable to find anything to say to her. And every time he had almost found his courage, she was needed somewhere.

'It's getting dark, my dear,' the white-haired dwarf says as he walks over to Várar. 'It might be wise to get inside, or else you might get lost.'

'I guess you are right, Balin,' Várar agrees with the elder dwarf, a weak smile on her face.

She's doesn't want to get inside, that much is clear to the young dwarf-prince. The longing look in her eyes betray how she feels, as she glances back at the horizon. Then she turns around, starting to head inside.

'I can stay here if you want,' Fíli says, finally announcing his presence.

Várar stares at him in confusion, while Fíli silently wonders where his courage had come from. And why would she want to stay with him out here anyway? He hasn't been around her as much as Thorin and Kíli have been. With his brother being in pretty bad shape and in need of Várar's healing hands. And with his uncle telling her stories about Erebor, having her hanging on his lips.

'I-I er I mean,' Fíli stammers as the dwarrowdam still looks at him, waiting. 'You can stay a bit longer out here that way. I will guide the way once you want to head back.'

He is such an idiot! "Guide the way"? What is he thinking? That had sounded terrible, just terrible! She must think he's an idiot as well. And what was that all about with his stammering? He never stammers! Never! So how come he is stammering right now?

Várar smiles at him, thanking him with a nod of gratitude. Then she bids her goodbye to Balin as the dwarf makes his way towards the mountain again, before turning towards the scenery again.

'She sure is a good catch, lad,' Balin whispers, patting Fíli's shoulder.

He turns his head towards the elder dwarf in confusion for a moment, before realising what the dwarf if hinting at. His ears turn red as heat rises to his head in embarrassment.

'It's not... I don't like her like that,' he says quickly, but all he gets is a knowing look.

'Sure you don't, laddie. Sure you don't,' Balin winks at him, then he leaves, a smirk plastered on his face.

Fíli stares at Várar for a moment, thinking of something to say or do. He has really thought this over, hasn't he. So what now? Is he suppose to sit next to her? No, that might be too personal, they don't know each other that well. Well, then he should take this opportunity to get to know Várar more, shouldn't he? But where to start?

Fíli really wishes he has had some experience with young dwarrowdams. How is he suppose to behave? He had known when they were still on their journey to reclaim Erebor. He had known when Thorin had succomb to dragonsickness and even during battle.

But now, with everything quiet down?

'Well, are you just going to stand there, waiting for me to returned the mountain? Or are you going to join me and enjoy the scenery?'

Fíli looks baffled at the smiling dwarrowdam, before smiling back at her. At least she doesn't mind his company, so that's one fear down.

'How come I haven't seen you around that much,' Várar asks as the prince takes a seat next to her. 'I seem to have spoken to everyone, except you. Why is that? Am I a nuisance to you?'

What! Has he made her feel like she is a nuisance to him? For she most defiantly is not!

'I understand,' she continues, looking down at her lap. 'For I have done nothing but sulking these passed two weeks.'

'No, no no,' Fíli quickly says, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. 'You've got it all wrong! You are not a nuisance! You have every right to be saddened, every right.'

She turns her head to look at him and Fíli feels the heat rise again as she looks at him with her blue eyes. For a moment he wonders if she is bothered by his hand on her shoulder and he is about to withdraw it. But the weak smile she gives him prevents him to do so.

'Listen, Várar.' How come he hasn't noticed how nice it feels to say her name? 'You have been through a lot. You have seen so much dead in so little time. You have seen battle and bloodshed before you were ready.'

'But you are my age,' she says as tears start to form in her eyes. He is making her cry. Mahal, he is making her cry! 'How come you aren't bothered by it all?'

'Believe me, it's not that easy for me as well. Though I can hide it well. Besides, I have been prepared my whole life, seeing small battles between dwarf and orc happen. Not a lot, and nothing compared to the passed battle. But it has prepared me. And I haven't lost anyone dear to me.'

Várar remains silent, letting his words sink in. A tear slowly rolls down her cheek, as she looks down at her hands. Fíli mentally kicks himself for his mistake. He had to bring it up. Why did he have to bring it up? He knows she blames herself for the death of the she-elf.

He has to do something! Anything! Why is this so hard? He had wanted to stay behind and have a nice conversation with her. Not make her remember the passed events or make her cry!

'Besides, you work hard,' Fíli continues, as he tries to corrects his mistake. 'You help Oin cure our injuries. If it wasn't for you, uncle's foot would have become infected and who knows what would have happened to Kíli.'

He smiles at her in gratitude. He really means it. If it hadn't been for Várar and her knowledge of elvenmagic, his uncle might have lost his leg – or worse, his life- due to the starting infection.

'Speaking of injuries, you haven't let me check yours.' Várar looks at him, concern in her eyes. 'How are your ribs?'

'It's nothing,' he quickly waves it off, a blush on his face. 'Just bruised.'

She laughs a little, soon followed by his own laughter. A sharp pain enters his body, and Fíli winches a little, rubbing his ribs. The action making Várar laughing some more.

'You did what?'

Laughter fills the chambers as the two dwarf-princes tell Várar about their first encounter with Bilbo. About how they discussed about his name – mister Baggings or mister Boggings – in which Fíli had turned out to be right. About Kíli scrapping the mud off his boots on a chest – which turned out to be the glory box of Bilbo's mother. And with Fíli practically throwing his swords and daggers in the poor hobbit's arms.

'Yeah, that was quite a first impression we made then,' Kíli laughs, rubbing his head. 'You should have seen his face when I did that. And when the others came after us. Ha, he wasn't pleased about it one bit.'

'Turned out Gandalf hadn't informed him of our coming.'

Várar laughs again, looking at both dwarves. It feels good to laugh again. It has been a while since she has had a good laugh. But after her first real confersation with Fíli, things seemed to have changed for the better. And with Kíli healed, the two brother's seem to have made it their mission to keep her entertained.

'Poor Bilbo,' she says, a smile on her lips. 'I can imagine him to be mad about having unexpected, poor mannered, guessed showing up on his doorsteps. Invading his home and plundering his pantry. It's a miracle he even went on this journey with you all.'

Another roar of laughter is heard and Fíli has to hold onto his ribs to prefent them from hurting - his ribs are still sore, even after two months. It has become easier to talk to Várar whenever his brother is around. With Kíli having formed a friendship with the dwarrowdam while they were still in the dungeon, Fíli gladly takes advantage of it.

'You should have seen us back at Rivendell then,' Kíli smirks, remembering their stay with the elves. 'We burned their furniture to build a fire.'

'Really?'

She looks at Fíli, not believing the younger dwarf. But Fíli smirks, nodding to conform his brother is telling the truth.

'You guys are horrible.'

But her eyes tell a different story, with her eyes sparkling as she tries to hide her smile. But failing miserably.

'Aye, that they are,' a new voice says, making them turn towards the door. 'But you will get used to them.'

Kíli chuckles as he looks at his uncle, while Thorin smirks at both his nephews. With everything turned back to normal, Thorin has changed. For the better! And like no other king Várar has ever seen or heard of.

For instead of sitting on his throne, letting others do the hard work, Thorin joins them, working hard to rebuild Erebor. A trait Vàrar admires. She has watched many times in humour, imagining her father doing hard labor. Something he would never even think of doing. Even while on the battlefield, he had still remain as majestic as always.

'I doubt that,' Vàrar says, smiling as she looks at the brothers. 'I mean, look at them. They even lack manners. Especially Kíli.'

'That hurts,' Kíli says, looking hurt. 'It really does. And here I was thinking we were friends.'

'More like acquaintances,' she replies with a wink, seeing the playful twinkle in the younger dwarf's eye. Then she turns to face Thorin. 'I am sorry, your highness. Is there something we can do for you?'

His lip curls up slightly, catching the playfulness in her voice. She knows she doesn't have to use his title. No one dear to his has to call him by his title. But at times she does, usually mocking him. A reminder of how young these three dwarves in front of him still are. It is a nice change after all they have been through. Though their laughter is nothing like the laughter of dwarflings, it fills the halls with a homely warmth.

He eyes his nephews as both of them laugh. Though they had tried to be optimistic during their journey, smiling and laughing no matter their trail, there had always been a certain edge to it. It hadn't always been right from their heart. But now the edge has disappeared again, and Thorin finds himself enjoying just listening to their laughter.

'If you must know, my lady,' Thorin begins, copying Vàrar. 'I want to have a word with you.'

At this, the dwarrowdam looks at him in surprise. She quickly wonders if she has done something wrong, but she dismisses the thought as quickly as it had come. She has helped out the best she can since her arrival. Helping Oin with the injured being one of the tasks she has been assigned to.

Bombur had asked her assist him with cooking, but she had looked at him like the dwarf had grown an extra head. As a princess she has never cooked something in her entire life, she would have poisoned everyone in an attempt to make a meal. Especially with all the extra mouths to feed, seeing as Dain and his men have decided to stay until the first day of winter. That way they should be able to clean things up for when the first party from Ered Luin arrives.

But while Várar doesn't cook, she does clean the rooms, restoring linen and clothes and washing them. And of course washing the clothes of the dwarves. Luckily the women of Laketown had helped her out in the beginning, teaching her how to do the laundry and how to hang them to dry properly – her first attempt had been pathetic, with the sheets all wrinkled. And while the women had tried not to laugh at her first attempt, they could hardly muffle their giggles.

Not that Várar had minded. She had been laughing as well, though proud of herself. Who would have guessed she maids had such a hard time doing their chores? For she had always thought them to be quite easy. And while Vàrar had learned to sew while she was still a dwarfling, the women still had a few tricks for her to learn.

While thinking about it, her eyes catch sight of her king's robes as she follows him outside. Which she hadn't even noticed, until the cold air hits her. But the robes Thorin is wearing right now had been her first she had washed with success. And again she feels proud, just by looking at the thick fabric.

'Well, you have brought me here,' Várar begins, breaking the silence. 'What is it you wished to talk to me about?'

As she eyes the king, noticing the troubled look as he faces her. So there is indeed something troubling him, but what?

'I wanted to apologize to you.'

He gently takes her hand in his as he tries to find the right words. He has had a hard time to find his courage, she can tell by the way he is struggling to find the right words. But what she doesn't understand, is why he feels like he needs to apologize to her. And why? He hasn't done anything wrong, not that she knows.

In fact, he has taken her in. Giving her time to adjust. Never bothering her when she needed some time alone. And she had needed it a lot during her first few weeks. Only after her long talk with Fíli she had found herself enjoying her stay in Erebor. And enjoying the company of the dwarves – though she still thinks they are unmannered. She especially enjoys the company of Fíli and Kíli, whom she has learned to remember who's who.

And why is she thinking about Fíli and Kíli anyway?

'I should not have kissed you when…'

'… You should not apologize for something you had no control over,' she quickly interrupts him, knowing right away what he means. 'You were under the influence of the dragonsickness. You weren't yourself and when you saw me, you thought I was my mother.'

'Still, I should not have done that,' Thorin replies. 'Will you forgive this foolish dwarf?'

'I have forgiven you from the moment you came and joined the battle.'

Thorin smiles at her, then gently brings her hand to his lips. He whispers a 'thank you' before kissing the back of her hand.

'Why don't you tell me more about my mother,' Vàrar says after he releases her hand. 'I know so little of her. All I know is that I look a lot like her.' She turns her back to Thorin, moving closer to the railing, her eyes scanning the scenery below. 'What was she like?'

'Gefn, was a perfect image of a lady of the court,' Thorin says, walking over to her. 'A proper lady, doing what was expected of her. She would never approve of you knowing how to handle a sword.'

Várar listens intently as Thorin tells her about her mother. Never interrupting him, only when he begins about her father. All she wants to know right now, is about her mother. And while Vigr might be her father by birth, it is Thranduil is will always be her father.

'I can't believe him!'

'Who?'

'How could he do that!'

'What?'

Kíli looks at his brother in surprise as he watches Fíli pacing around angrily. Fíli had gone to get himself something to drink, but came back just a moment ago, apparently pretty pissed off at someone.

'What is he thinking!' Fíli growls as he finally faces his brother. 'He is twice his age!'

Oh, so that's what's going on. Kíli had known his brother has a soft spot for Várar. It hadn't been that hard to figure it out. With his brother acting strangely whenever the said dwarrowdam is around. Even showing of his fighting skills. Something Fíli would normally never do.

But looking at his brother now has made Kíli realize his brother might even be in love with her. If he acts so protective about her, just because their uncle is spending time with her. Apparently taking about her mother. And who can blame her for wanting know know about her mother?

Kíli had wanted the same thing with his father, never knowing him himself. Kíli had been only a few years old when his father had passed away, so he has no memories of his own. But the stories other tell him, make that he can imagine how his father used to be.

He continues watching his brother in amusement, as Fíli is pacing back and forth. Indeed, Fíli has it really bad. And he doesn't even know it himself!

A/N

And that was another chapter of 'Nothing I Have Ever Known'. I hope I didn't disappoint you.

It seems like Várar is settling down, spending her time with the two brothers. And what's up with Fíli? Is it me, or is our dear dwarf prince jealous? And what is becoming of the relationship with Thorin and Várar?

I know one thing. We are getting close to the part I have been wanting to write for quite some time now.

Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter. Or better yet, about the story so far. How it has progressed into what is it right now. Or perhaps your thoughts about Várar? Your expectations or predicaments?

I'm quite curious, so just let me know. Besides I always love reviews. They are motivating and help me become a better writer.

Well, I do hope you've enjoyed this chapter enough to continue reading the upcoming chapters.