A/N

Hey you guys. I am terribly sorry for taking so long! I didn't know how to write down this chapter. Writing it, rewriting it, before deleting the whole chapter to start over again. Anyway, I'm back with a new chapter. Hopefully you'll like it.

Also, I have decided not to name the chapters anymore. Why? Because it's really hard to think of one that doesn't give away its contents. So from now on, it will be 'Chapter ...'

Anyway, thank you for your review, FlowerChild23.

Chapter 20

Fíli sits on the cold stone statue, just staring ahead. The winter has turned the world white and the sky grey. Snowflakes slowly fall down and every now and then the prince needs to wipe them off his face.

He doesn't understand. Why is he feeling this way? Why does he always seem to be angry with his uncle? Thorin hasn't done anything wrong, has he? Not that Fíli knows of. He has been nothing but a good king, except for when he had been under the influence of the dragonsickness of course.

Fíli sighs. Somewhere he knows why he is angry with Thorin. He has known for a while now. But he has tried to deny it. He had denied it when Balin had mentioned, he had denied it when the others had started. He even keeps on denying every time Kíli mentions it. But they al smile at him knowingly.

Still, Fíli has kept on denying, telling himself it couldn't be true. But there is no denying it any longer. He is in love with Várar. And that is why Fíli is so angry with Thorin. Because Várar seems to be spending a lot of time with his uncle, seemingly enjoying his company. And Fíli knows his uncle doesn't mind her company at all.

'You're reading too much into it, brother,' Kíli had said to him more than once.

But Fíli doesn't believe his brother. Kíli didn't see what he has. Kíli hasn't seen Thorin kiss Várar. But Fíli has, and the thought still angers the dwarf-prince. Thorin does want Várar to be his, even if Kíli dismisses the thought.

Something moves to his left and Fíli looks down to see Várar walking towards the valley. She does that at least once a week, he has noticed. Visiting the grave of the she-elf –Tauriel – and sit there for a long time. Sometimes she just sits there, with her arms wrapped around her knees. Just staring ahead to where Mirkwood lies. Other times she cleans the grave from freshly fallen snow.

She misses her home, that much he knows. Though she smiles brightly during most days, some days she just stares into the distance, her mind clouded by thoughts only she knows. Not that he can blame her. Elves are different from dwarves, a lot! And while Várar is a dwarf, she was raised as an elf. More than once she has mentioned the dwarves to be poorly mannered, looking in disgust as the others shove throw back their ale and letting it poor down their beards.

It has made Fíli quite aware of his drinking, paying attention to how he drinks his. Only to please the dwarrowdam. And for what? She likes his uncle, not him!

And once again he finds himself being angry with Thorin, while glaring at the young dwarrowdam. He moves slightly, his leg becoming slightly numb in his current position. But by doing so a few stones fall down and Várar turns around. Fíli silent prayer for Várar not to look up is in vain as she quickly spots him.

'You might want to be careful, Fíli,' she says with a smile. 'It seems slippery up there.'

'How did you know I was up here?'

'I've noticed you climb that statue whenever you want some time alone.'

A simple answer, still Fíli can't help but have that strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. She has noticed him! She has noticed what his favorite spot is! His ears turn a soft pink tint as he looks at her in surprise, glad he can blame the cold air for his flustered appearance. Then he climbs down.

'Are you going to visit your friend's grave?'

Várar nods. Now that he is standing in front of her, he notices her pink cheeks and ears as she looks at the ground for a moment. It makes her look cute as the cold wind gently breezes through her hair.

'You are welcome to join,' she says, brushing her hair out of her face. 'If you want to, I mean.'

Fíli misses the color of her cheeks darkening as she avoids looking him in the eye. Instead he is fighting to keep his blush from spreading across his face, not wanting to show the dwarrowdam he likes her. But why? Why is he fighting his own feelings? Should he not deserve a chance?

And why is she asking him to join her? Is there a hidden message? Does she like him as well? Impossible! She is only trying to be nice to him. That's the only reason! Why would she like him, if she could be with the king?

But still, he doesn't want to miss his opportunity to spend some time alone with Vàrar.

'I would love to.'

Vàrar is happily chattering with Thorin, a smile continuously present on her face. Every now and then she laughs – no giggles – at something he says, with him chuckling as well. Fíli has no idea what they are talking about, but it sickens him to see the two of them together. Várar should be spending time with him, not with his uncle.

He growls, turning his head away. It seems everywhere he turns, he sees Várar. Not only with Thorin, but with Kíli and with Oin as well. Kíli, because his brother just likes spending time with her. Oin, because the dwarf likes to learn about the healing skills Várar knows. Teaching her his way, while she teaches him things as well.

With a sigh, Fíli leaves. He needs some fresh air! He's had enough of Thorin for now. Right now he needs to get outside. As he walks into outside, the cold wind greets him. But the young dwarf prince doesn't care. Today actually seems to be a little warmer than yesterday. Though the temperature will drop drastically once the sun goes down – which will be in about an hour or so, judging by the position of the sun.

As he lights his pipe, Fíli stares at the horizon. In about two months the first party from the Blue Mountains will arrive. Meaning his mother will arrive as well. He misses her, he really does. He has never been away from home this long. Well actually, this is his home now. But now he's here without his mother. The one who has raised him, the one who has always been there for him.

She would know what to do. She would always give him the right advise, whether he asks for it or not. And though most of the times he hates to admit it, he really appreciates her help and advise. But as his people say 'mother knows best', well, his mother does know best indeed.

Exhaling through his nose, he closes his eyes. He respects his mother and his uncle. But right now he also feels a wave of jealousy every time he sees Thorin with Várar. Wishing it to be him the dwarrowdam is laughing with. Wishing it to be him to make her giggle.

'You seem to be in a foul mood, lad.'

Fíli turns his head to see Bofur standing next to him, a grin on his face.

'Y'know, I heard something very interesting today,' the hatted dwarf continues, as he takes out his own pipe. 'Something about a certain young dwarrowdam.'

Now that got his attention. Trying to hide the look of curiosity, Fíli stares ahead of him. The last thing he needs is for Bofur to know he likes her. Bofur – as good a dwarf he may be – will never be able to keep it a secret. Which means he will eventually tell Várar and that's something Fíli rather avoid.

'Rumor has it, she likes a certain dwarf. Well, it's not so much a rumor, just an assumption. She's always around him and he is almost never without her at his side. Which makes one wonder…'

'It is no secret Thorin likes Várar,' Fíli spits out in anger, before realizing his mistake.

Bofur remains silent as Fíli awaits his reply. But after a moment of silence, the young prince sighs in defeat and turns to face the dwarf. An even bigger grin has formed on his face as Bofur looks at Fíli in amusement.

'Aye, Thorin likes Várar,' he agrees. 'But judging by your reaction Thorin isn't the only one. Though I can assure you, his intentions are much more different then you thing, lad. He sees the lass as a daughter.'

Again Fíli snorts. A daughter, right. Then why does his uncle always seem to be around her? Making her laugh. Fíli is no fool. He has seen his uncle kiss her once. Sure he had been under the influence of the dragonsickness. But it means his uncle must feel something for her. And Várar had allowed him to kiss her, so she must feel something for Thorin as well. Besides, they have spent a lot of time together down in the dungeons of Mirkwood.

'You don't believe me?'

Fíli shakes his head. It's all so clear, why can't Bofur see that as well? Who else would Várar like, but Thorin? Mahal, he is king! That alone should be enough for any dwarrowdam to want to be his! And it is clear – to Fíli at least – that the two of them are really close.

'You are quite dense then, lad,' Bofur states, his voice serious this time. 'It is obvious she fancies you. The two of you are spending a lot of time together. Both of you seeking your comfort outside. And if I remember correctly, you are the only person she has accepted to join her while visiting the grave of the she-elf. Well, except for Kíli of course.'

'You are seeing things, my friend,' Fíli says, waving off the spark of hope his heart hold. 'Várar and I are nothing more than friends. There are no romantic feelings involved.'

'Ha! Says the dwarf with a face like a tomato every time the lass stands near you!' Bofur laughs even harder as Fíli glares at him, his ears red in shame. 'Oh, don't deny it laddie. I have seen the both of you, strolling through the halls. Side by side, as she laughs at some joke you tell her.

Have you never noticed her looking around, until her eyes find you, just to smile at you? Even if she is spending time with Thorin? Who by the way is teaching her Khuzdul, in case you are wondering. Her whole face lightens up, every time she sees you!'

At this, Fíli stares at Bofur in surprise. Does Várar really fancies him? The way his companion is talking about her, makes him think she does. Has he really been that dense? Has he missed the signs? The secret looks? Then what else has he missed!

While Bofur keeps on rambling about the signs, Fíli's mind drifts off to an event a few weeks back. When she had asked him to join her to visit Tauriel's grave. The way she had been looking at the ground… He had not read anything into it back then. But could it be shyness? Or is he reading too much into it?

'Perhaps you and the lass should have some quality time together when she gets back, hm?'

'Wait, what?' Fíli looks at Bofur in surprise. 'Where is she going?'

'To the elves of course! I overheard her saying to Thorin she needed to talk to her father about something.' Bofur pauses for a moment, seemingly in thought. Then he continues. 'She seemed pretty confused about something, that much I could tell.'

Fíli watches the sunset in boredom. Witch most of the mountain livable, there isn't much to do anymore. For Thorin thinks it's better to wait for the dwarves of Ered Luin to arrive. Then they can start working on the halls deeper inside the mountain. A thought Fíli shares. Though they have been able to clear and restore part of the mountain, they are no builders. Toymakers, yes, and a couple of warriors. But no builders. Though there will be a lot of them, once the first party arrives in just a few more weeks. A small smile forms on his face as the young dwarf thinks about seeing his mother again. It has been almost a year since they had left Ered Luin, not knowing what danger they would face along the way.

With orcs chasing them, and almost being ripped apart by wargs and of course Beorn the skinchanger. Or being captured by elves only to be rescued by their beautiful princess…

His blue eyes stare ahead in sadness, remembering Várar. She had left Erebor over two weeks ago, she should have returned already! It is only a half day ride, even though it is winter. Why hasn't she returned yet? Did something bad happen? Did the elf king have a change of heart? Will he no longer allow Várar to return to Erebor? Or perhaps Várar has convinced him not to have her return to Erebor? But it seemed like she enjoyed being here!

Fíli sighs. He has wanted to talk to her about his feelings after his talk to Bofur. But he fears he might not have the chance. Not if she will stay in Mirkwood, with the elves. Not that he can blame her. Even he admits dwarves are poorly mannered compared to elves.

He is about to turn around, when he spots something move in the shadows of dale. At first he thinks he is imagining things, but then he can see the former of a horse and a rider making their way towards Erebor. A blood bay and his auburn-haired rider! She has returned!

'Várar, you're back,' he says enthusiastically as she rides up to him, a bright smile on her face as she sees him. 'Is everything alright? You've been away for so long.'

Once she halts Tálagor, Fíli surprises her by helping her off her pony's back, gently placing her on the ground. Várar mutters a shy 'thank you' as she looks at the ground. Her ears and cheeks turning slightly red as she brushes her hair out of her face.

How Fíli even missed those signs in the first place is beyond him. Perhaps he had been too blinded by his jealousy? Not that is matters anymore. Now he notices the small signs Várar makes. The blush on her freckled face, her brushing her hair behind her ear. The small shy smile she gives when she looks at him.

'I've missed you, you know?' Fíli says softly, a hand still resting on her hip, while the other holds onto Tálagor's reigns.

'You did?'

Her bright blue eyes widen in surprise as she looks up at him. The light of the red sun shining brightly on her hair, giving it a fiery look while the wind gently plays with it. Fíli silently nods as he admires her beauty. Yes, he has missed her. A lot!

'Yes, I did,' he finally answers huskily, his hand moving from her hip to cup her cheek. 'What took you so long anyway?'

'I-I-I I had to discuss something with-with my father,' Várar stammers as she looks him in the eye. Her face turning even more red as his thumb gently brushes against her skin. 'And… And after that I-I needed to clean my mind.'

Fíli hides a smirk as he looks at Várar, leaning in slightly. It seems Bofur might have been right about his assumption as to why Várar needed to see her father. According to the dwarf it had been because she might have been confused about her feelings she might harbor for Fíli. And seeing her standing here, Fíli must agree with him.

'And, have you sorted things out, hm?' She nods silently. 'Good. Because there is something I need to tell you.'

'Well, look who's back. Took you long enough!'

Fíli sighs in frustration as he turns to see Kíli quickly making his way over to them. He will murder his little brother for this!

A/N

Aaaand that's the end of chapter 20. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Seeing the jealous part of Fíli again. And darn that Kíli, ruining the moment...

Anyway, love hearing your thoughts on this chapter and/or the whole story and character devolepment. I love reading reviews and reread them a lot. To keep me motivated and to see where I could improve. So, if you can spare some time...?

Next chapter, Várar will finally meet Dís. Yes, finally. My fingers are already itchy to write it down and develop Dîs her character around the discovery.

Hope to see you next time!