Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.

PTB SMUT UNIVERSITY WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT

DIRTY TALK

"Hello?"

"Hey Gorgeous."

Rosalie could hear Jasper and Edward's laughter on the other line, and Carlisle admonishing them to be quiet. There was a rustling sound as if Emmett was walking away from the group, but she knew he would have to go far away to avoid sharp eavesdropping vampire ears.

"Bored already?" she asked him in amusement.

"Yeah. These guys are no fun. Wouldn't let me go for more lions."

At his petulant tone, she had to smile. Sometimes she wondered if she had married an oversized child instead of a grown man.

"They were probably just stopping you from decimating the whole mountain lion population in California." She giggled. "Besides, if you don't have anything better to do, you can always come back home."

He let out a ragged breath and she knew her seductive tone had worked. "Well… Carlisle did promise to let me have a go at the lions further north later. How about you come and join the fun?"

"I'm not in the mood."

He seemed to have stopped moving and the other men's voices were barely audible. "Tell me what's wrong."

It still caught her by surprise sometimes whenever he showed traces of insight, considering he was usually thoughtless and impatient. It spoke of how well he knew her that even if he were a thousand miles away he would still know when something was bothering her.

"It's nothing," she lied.

"I can tell you're upset. Is it Bella?"

"It is, but not in the way you think."

Everyone knew how she felt about Bella. They dismissed it as her being catty and irrational but Emmett had sometimes wondered aloud whether it was something he should be worried about.

"No, we didn't have a fight," she said before he could ask. "In fact, we had a rather mature, intelligent conversation."

"But you're not happy about it," he guessed.

"No. How could she be so blind, Em? I know she loves Edward as much as I love you, but sooner or later she'll realize what a big mistake she's making!"

"Am I that to you? A mistake?" His voice was quiet.

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. When he remained silent, she heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch again. I don't know why you even put up with me."

"At least you're my bitch," he quipped, eliciting an eye roll from her. "I wish I were there with you so I could tell you everything's going to be okay." His soothing tone seemed to reach out to her through the phone. "Bella is a grown woman and she has to live her own life. All we can do is stand by and offer her support whenever she needs it."

He always knew what to say, which made her grateful. He seemed to hit the right spot with just a few words. Making Bella sound like her teenage daughter making a poor choice resonated with the strong maternal instincts inside her that caused her pain for almost eighty years. She imagined Bella as the eighteen-year-old daughter she'd always wanted but never had and knew she could never completely rule her life with her own choices.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"I miss you more. At least we'll be back earlier this time so we can have the rest of the weekend to ourselves." The joy in his voice was so clear it was as if he were lying right next to her on their bed.

"For now, I'll have to settle for being miserable, then."

"I know just the thing to cheer you up."

"What are you plotting, you rascal?"

"Just trust me. Okay. Where are you?"

"I'm in our big, cold bed, all by my lonesome self," she teased.

He swallowed audibly. "What are you wearing?"

"Your favorite black teddy, with the ribbon on the front untied." She in fact had a gray shirt and black jeans on, but she was not going to tell him that. It was nice tormenting the man once in a while.

He groaned, and she could just imagine what was running through his mind. "Put the phone on loudspeaker."

"Yes Sir." Pinpricks of excitement erupted all over her body at his commanding tone. She placed the phone on the bedside table and relaxed on the pillows. When she heard a high-pitched zip and his loud intake of breath, her muscles tensed. She closed her eyes and pictured him opening his fly and taking his hard erection into his hands.

"Oh Rosie. It's never the same without you, because you do it so much better than me."

"Pretend it's me."

"Yes. I can feel your long, slender fingers touching the tip of my cock very lightly. It's twitching, asking for more." His breathing grew harsher, as harsh as hers was.

She could taste venom on her tongue and feel heat flaring deliciously between her legs. She rubbed her thighs together to try to relieve the ache. "Then I'll give you more."

"Yes." He groaned. "You now have me in your hands. You are handling me very well." By the urgent sounds coming from the speaker phone, she knew how well. "And in gratitude, I am going to worship your glorious breasts."

She pulled up her shirt and played with the girls. A bit of pressure here, a little tug there. Just the way he did it. The way she loved.

She heard him move rhythmically and wished she had followed his advice and went to California. It should have been her hands on his cock. Her mouth teasing the swollen tip. She told him this and he gasped.

Her hands moved restlessly over her body and encountered fabric. Impatient, she tore her jeans in half, her panties along with it. His sound of protest made her laugh.

She touched herself, wishing he were here. His fingers were rougher and felt better on her smooth skin. She recalled with perfect clarity last night, when he had touched her with deliberate slowness that almost drove her mad. She tried to recreate the feeling. She almost got it right.

"Rosie, oh god, what you do to me," he moaned. The sound of his movements became more frantic, his breath coming out in little gasps. At that moment she felt powerful. She made him feel this intense pleasure, no one else. His apparent desire fueled her own, prompted her to go faster, and in no time she was crying out his name with abandon. She didn't care if anyone else in the house heard her. She and Emmett were the only two people who mattered at this point.

He came loudly, probably disturbing the wildlife sleeping peacefully nearby. She grinned at the thought.

A few minutes later, she picked up the phone. "That was fun," she murmured, stretching.

"Thanks for that, Babe. It's always better with you."

Rosalie ended the call and changed into track pants. She went to the living room where Alice and Esme were watching TV.

"Was that Emmett?" Alice asked. "Next time he calls, tell him I said well done!"

"For what?" Rosalie's suspicions were raised.

"He won that bet against Edward and Jasper."

"What bet?"

"Jazz and Edward thought he wouldn't last 24 hours without coming back home to be with you so you could, you know."

"You mean so that he could fuck me?"

Esme looked over with a frown, then looked up in the direction of Edward's room where Bella was asleep.

"Um, yes. Well, he didn't come home but he still got what he wanted."

Meanwhile, in the mountains of California…

"Em, you cheated!" Jasper exclaimed when he spotted Emmett hurtling toward them.

"No I didn't. The rules didn't say anything about phones—"

"Emmett is right," Edward decided. "We only said that he has to go back home in order for him to lose."

Emmett's phone rang. Rosalie. Was she up for round two already? Sweet. "It's her."

The three other men groaned. At this rate, there would be no more lions to hunt in the vicinity.

"Yes Babe?"

"Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen! You come home right this instant."

"But…"

"Right. Now."

"Yes Ma'am."