Chapter 35: A Half Forgotten Dream

Once I reached my room I threw the books onto the table and flopped down on the lower bunk. I thought back to the beginning of that day, the day that Helen Seraman died and I was born. I thought back to that dream, the dream I could not remember besides the part where everything was pitch black. I remembered the screams and the intense pain in my back. I remember the feel of cobble stones and carpet underneath my feet as I ran. I remembered the feeling of running into a wall but not feeling it at the same time. I remembered hearing Lizzy's voice in the midst of everything, calling out to Eric for help. I remembered whispering Axel's name. But, I don't remember anything before that. If I did I might be able to bring back the parts that were lost.

Wait a minute, Eric recognized Axel's name. He also knew that I was dreaming because I said, Axel. He also recognized Basta's name. Lizzy knew Saint Dane's name too. And they had both read this journal of mine. How does this all fit together? I looked over at the comic book. Maybe some answers are in there. I began to pour over the comic, reading into every sentence, studying every picture, looking for a clue of how this village and that book, or world, were connected. I found nothing. Not a hint, or clue, or even an inkling of how they were connected. All I read was what I remembered from the videogame series.

Then it hit me; Darius could read people out of books. If Capricorn ever caught word of any of the people in the series, their destructive powers, or magic, he would have Darius read them out in a heartbeat. He would rule the earth with people like them underneath his control; then again, the characters in the series pretty much do as they please. Even thinking about what they might do to the earth without Capricorn's help sent a shiver down my spine. And Dane too, if he ever heard of them, and knew that they could be read out, would he be even remotely stoppable? I must never breathe a word about them, out of fear of an apocalypse. Lucky for me that it was in Japanese, but how long would it take until they found one in Italian, or English?

I needed to take my mind off things. I hid the comic inside my pillow, and pulled out Peter Pan. I remembered watching that Disney movie every day when I was five. I used to imagine flying high in the sky, with Peter at my side, to Never Land. I imagined brushing the tips of the waves with my fingertips watching the foam trail behind me while flying in perfect unison with the swimming dolphins. I used to pretend I was on treasure hunts with the Lost Boys or sword fighting with Captain Hook.

But even I could go to Never Land now; I doubt that I would be able to think of a happy enough memory to get my feet off the ground. All that I've been able to think about since I became Elizabeth are the saddest and most depressing things anyone could think off. I could only think about how I had condemned everyone to death, how killed my parents on their anniversary, how I had lost myself, how I was never going to see any of them ever again, and how I could not even follow them in death. I had a bad case of survivor's guilt.

Either way, the memories and the book were a nice distraction. I hadn't even noticed when Dustfinger had walked back into the room or when dinner arrived. It was only when Gwin jumped on my book, did I realize that they were there.

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