Forever Lost

~ Chapter Five ~

Torrent Of Rage , Gusts Of Fear

By Inuyashas Youkai

~ Darkening Illusions ~

After for so long it seemed , casted in chilling darkeness , as it stilled frozen willingly into unwanted limbo, a small flicker of a flame ignited , and providing a warth within that of the deceived, whom never thought of such , could ever wish to exist once again. Feeling it cling to her in growing increments , as it was felt almost searing in it's attempt to reawaken it , from it moment its grasp pulled amongst the image etched in ice , and yanking back to where it wished , taking the darkeness bred within along with it...

The weary spirit , condemned of all light , now shinking from the light it once held , as it faced from a eternity ago it seemed, from the lack thereof , and at present was staring at it once again, like it was somehow a foreign object when introduced to it , because that it was. Confused slightly , as to where it was , and what had caused for things to apppear changed..Then soon it felt as though as it were being pulled , tied to something , and yet held to a mysterious anchor . Feeling your being become taunt as the strings that once bound her to a life , long forgotten , begin to materialize from which they faded, and becoming apart of what you now stand to be... But what was that , for the lost soul couldn't quite grasp it's purpose , yet.

Faintly becoming screams , then came the voices , starting out as pained whispers , and soon finding the broken will within flinch back , as the roars filled with hatred consumed it's thoughts. For what was now being presented in front of the now emerging feminine soul , one was expectantly taking the form of times past, a time where she would've rather have left buried within the past. Though the one in charge , persistantly seeking her presence once more, and calling her to rise , would'nt have it, refused for her to remain where she now lie..

Becoming hesitant , wanting to shrink below , just so that when the one who was searching , for her they would never find , and hopefully in the end would give up a needless task :To bring her back to the path in her past existance, and one she no longer wanted. Especially when she started to hear them , a voice , many in fact , and in it grew the only reminders as to why she should'nt, why if she could help whatever it was wouldn't find find her , bringing her back.

Though, throughout the short time in passing she unfortunately found the truth for that which was that she already was, and with that knowledge came fear , then understanding that it was because she was discovered in her hiding place, was the reason she felt this way. As to the reason her soul was reawakened in the first place, but who ... Who would have sought her out, to be once again be forced to linger in that path...Suffer in it ... And Why would they do such a thing?

Deciding to listen intently to what the voices were saying , what they were incessantly trying to tell her, and in that maybe finding that which she had felt was needed to be known for the right was hers. At first the sounds being made were nothing but a blurred typhoon , as they seemed to congeal together with no apparent begining , nor end to it constant noise , only it seemed rather that they were peaceful , safe. Then , as they fought to become clear , while she tried with her might to find against the pull of her soul , as it became unrelenting in its will to drag her to it's unknown desired destination, the sounds became distinct words.

" Can I stay Inuyasha..."

Who is Inuyasha .. Somehow I know that name .. It feels so... Familar to me , but why?

"Haven't you figured it out yet , wench ! That I need you here by my side !"

That voice ... I know that voice .. Could it be that he's this Inuyasha person..

" I though maybe it would be better off if I was gone ..."

Is that me .. Did I say that ? I think it was .. But why did I say that.. Was it because of him?

" Kagome , I'am sorry .. I 've decided to stay with Kikyo .."

If I was Kagome, and he was Inuyasha .. Who was Kikyo , and why if he needed me , did he want to leave me alone, in the end...

Then the pain , as realization fell upon her , broke free, and her memories from times past, remembered.. The images crashed its tidalwave upon her once again , and as it had , the words rushed to join them of what led to her demise..

" Kikyo , it's always been you ..I only want you...I never forgot you even for a second"

"W hat about my incarnation, Kagome?"

"I told you I only need her to help her locate the shards and for the final battle of Naraku"

"I could..."

"No ! I will not have you fight anymore , that's why I have Kagome . I will not have him hurt you anymore"

"So you will have Kagome fight a battle for a cause that wasn't her's in the first place in order to keep me safe? Does she know you are only keeping her her here to use her?"

"Look it can't be helped ..Nothing will happen to Kagome and she will be able to go back to her own time as you will be able to return to me .."

"Do you know Inuyasha without me passing on , because she is my incarnation , Kagome will not exist.."

I rememeber now , he didn't need me .. He only used me until Inuyasha was able to possess a way for him to bring back of which was his past love , and she was just someone to fill the space until he had it , then afterward threw her away..

"Kukukukukuku.."

Thrown Away , Then handed over to the ill fate of being taken .. Torn to pieces as he saw fit by , that of the purposely forgotten hands of which were to befall her.. Within her unconscious she knew, but within her mind only knew the fear of what the beast of long ago , hovering over her , had desired , and only wished with a vile intent to destroy her , break her apart so that she could never be oneself again..

Naraku .. Now, that was true ,she knew , and he had done what he sought to accomplish.. Naraku destroyed her , but not before Inuyasha had come to break her first... It was wanted for her to die...

" But Why .. What had I done ..."

I existed ... That's why .. If only I hadn't come to be, as I was, in the first place then none of this would've happened .. Then where would I be , and why after I am gone would one wish to bring me back from the ashes .. If my sole pupose , and intent was merely to be brought to exist , only to die, accpeting my death...

I have accepted it though .. I never should have been ... I know that now .. But then Who, and Why..?

This soul that was once the entity known as Kagome , soon saw the visions, even turning darker as she continued to watch , like so many times before , defeatedly giving up the will to stand against them ,for at this point and time , she no longer had it anymore.. She was no longer in any form fitting into what was once the girl known as Kagome, for she was gone...

It didn't take long before the girl in question woke, with the vision of Inuyasha's bloodlusting demon snarling some distance behind her ready to pouce, ready to kill.

"Inuyasha ? What's wrong ? It's me , Kagome ...I was just going to say goodbye to everyone before I left you and leaving the jewel.."

"Hahaha , no you don't wench .I need your soul, Kagome .That's all I need from you , well and the jewel but your not leaving ,alive anyway!"

"I thought?.."

"Stupid wench ! No one wants you here ..Why would we ? I have Kikyo , I always wanted only her, you were just a replacement until I found a way to bring her back ..The others once I tell them of the betrayal of you siding with Naraku and becoming his mate they won't want you either.."

"What ,I never?"

"You smell , no you reek of his scent Kagome I smell through your lies, now prepare to die bitch!"

Ahhhh ! Noooo! " Kagome ran with hell's flame quickly chasing and burning at her heals until she was through the well, but without hearing the screams and the voices that would tell her of the hidden lies to decieve her to run away..

Whoever it was that now wished of her said return, would certainly be surprised to see what she now become , but maybe not , perhaps it was their intention to make her this way ..

TBC...