Disclaimer: I own nothing SM owns everything but I keep wishing she will let me share Carlisle with her lol.
AN: ok for you guys longest chapter ever! It is 35 pages long and before this an its 12932 words. So I really hope you guys like it. And I wanna thank you for all the reviews favorites and alerts.
Chapter 6
It was hard for me to bring myself to terms that I was in love with Edward and Carlisle. I mean Carlisle was Edward's father and Carlisle was married. So when I woke up the next morning I told myself I would try to forget that I was in love with Carlisle and focus on Edward. That was if Edward was even real, cause last night was so amazing I was pretty sure it was a dream. I was cloudy when I looked outside my window. Perfect. He wouldn't have a reason not to go to school today. I was running a little late so by the time I got downstairs Charlie was gone. It was also foggy so I didn't realize that there was another car parked in my driveway. A sliver Volvo to be exact.
My heart started beating double time when I saw Edward standing there opening the passenger side door for me.
"Would you like to ride with me today?" He asked smiling at me. Even though he was smiling there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He was giving me a choice, I could say no if I wanted too. But of course I didn't want too.
"Sure" I said "thanks." As I slid into the warm car he got in the driver's seat and handed me his tan jacket.
"I brought you my jacket I noticed you didn't have one last night and I didn't want you to get sick." He said. I noticed that he wore no jacket himself just a gray V neck log sleeve shirt and it was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.
"I'm not that delicate" I said but I pushed my arms into the too long sleeves and I noticed his scent clung to the jacket.
"Aren't you?" He said so low I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear it. As we drove through the streets I waited for him to speak. All most all the walls were down since last night, but I didn't know if we were still being candid today.
He smirked at me "what no twenty questions?"
"Do my questions bother you?" I asked letting out a breath I had been holding.
"No as much as reactions do." He said.
I frowned "Do I react badly?"
"No" he said "that's the problem. You take everything so easily it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what your really thinking."
I scoffed "I always tell you what I'm really thinking."
"You edit" he accused.
"Not very much."
"Enough to drive me crazy."
"You don't want to hear it" I mumbled. As soon as the words were out I regretted them. The pain was evident I just hope he didn't notice. He didn't respond and I wondered if I ruined it. As we drove into the school parking lot I realized something. "Where is the rest of your family?' I asked.
"They took Rosalie's car." He said He parked next to a glossy red convertible. "Ostentatious isn't it?"
"Wow" I said. "If she has that why does she ride with you?"
"Like I said it's ostentatious." He said. " We try to blend in."
"You don't succeed" I said laughing as I got out of the car. "So why did Rosalie drive today if it's more conspicuous?"
Haven't you noticed?' He said as he met me in front of the car. "I'm breaking all the rules now." We walked side by side up to the school not touching but still close.
"Why do you all have cars like that if your looking for privacy? I asked
"An indulgence we like to drive fast." He said.
Under the cafeteria roof Jessica was waiting her eyes about to bug out of their sockets. Over her arm was my jacket.
"Hey Jess" I said as I walked up to her. "Thanks for remembering." She handed me my jacket without speaking.
"Good morning Jessica" Edward said politely.
"Er….hi" she said trying to collect her thoughts while she looked over at me. "I guess I'll see you in trig." She gave me a pointed look. I sighed what was I going to tell her.
"Yeah I'll see you then."
"What are you going to tell her?" Edward asked as she walked away
"Hey!" I said whispering "I though you said you couldn't read my mind!"
"I can't" Edward said. "But I can read hers she will be waiting to ambush you in class."
"What does she want to know?" I asked as I pulled off his jacket and put my own on.
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me." He said after a minute.
"What should I say?" People were passing us in the hallway staring.
"Hmmmm" he said as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I suppose you could say yes to the first….if you don't mind… its just easier."
"I don't mind," I murmured quietly.
"As for the other question….well I will be listening to hear that for myself." He smiled my favorite uneven smile and walked away before I could say anything else. "I'll see you at lunch" he called over his shoulder.
I walked into class now even more worried about what I was going to say to Jessica.
"Morning, Bella," Mike said as he sat next to me. "How was Port Angles?"
"It was….." there was no honest way to describe it. "Great" I finished lamely. "Jessica found a really cute dress."
"Did she say anything about Monday night?" He asked.
" She said she had a really good time," I assured him.
"She did?" He said excitedly.
I nodded as Mr. Mason called the class to order. English and Government passed in a blur while I worried about how to explain things to Jessica and whether Edward would really be listening. Edward was right of course. As soon as I walked into trig Jessica was bouncing up and down in her seat in the back row. I reluctantly went to sit next to her ready to get it over with.
"Tell me everything" she said as soon as I sat down.
"What do you want to know?" I asked.
"What happened last night?"
"He brought me dinner, and then he drove me home." I said truthfully.
"Wait" Jessica said "how did you get home so fast and what was Dr. Cullen doing there?"
My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Carlisle's name. I took a deep breath to steady myself before I answered. "Edward drives like a manic" I said hoping he heard that "that's how we got home so quick as for Carlisle being there he and Edward were just spending some time together."
"Oh ok so it wasn't like a date or anything?" Jessica said. "You didn't ask him to meet you there?"
"No" I said truthfully again "I was very surprised to see him there."
"But he did pick you up for school today?" She asked
"Yes that was a surprise too. He noticed I didn't have a jacket last night," I explained.
"So are you going out again?"
"He offered to drive me up to Seattle Saturday because he thinks my truck isn't up to it….does that count?"
"Yes" she said nodding.
"Well then yes."
"W-o-w" she said exaggerated the word so it had three syllables. "Edward Cullen."
"I know" I agreed. "Wow" didn't even begin to cover it.
"Wait!" She almost yelled "Has he kissed you yet?"
"No" I mumbled "its not like that."
"Do you think Saturday…..?"
"I really doubt it." I said trying to disguise the discontent in my voice.
"What did you talk about?" She asked in a whisper as class had just started.
"I don't Jess lots of stuff," I whispered back.
"Please Bella" she begged "you got to give me some details."
"Ok I've got one." I said. "You should have seen this waitress flirting with him it was over the top. But he didn't pay any attention to her at all." Ok that didn't happen with Edward that was only with Carlisle but it was only thing I could think of that would satisfy Jessica.
"That's a good sign" she nodded. "Was she pretty?"
"Very and probably nineteen or twenty."
"Even better he must really like you"
" I think so but its hard to tell. He's always so cryptic" I said as I sighed. I though about this it was true that Carlisle didn't pay any attention to the waitress at all when she was clearly flirting with him. He always kept his eyes on me all of his attention on me. Why was that? Whoa wait I though to myself. I was supposed to not be thinking about Carlisle but it was kind of hard not to he was just so perfect… no! No focus on Edward.
"Bella? Bella? Hello?" Jessica said trying to get my attention.
"Sorry" I said "what did you say?"
"I said do you like him?"
"Yes" I said thinking about Edward and Carlisle.
"I mean do you really like him?" She asked with a giggle.
"Yes" I said blushing.
"How much" apparently she was tired of the one word answers.
"Too much" I said thinking about Edward "way too much" I said thinking about Carlisle. "More than he likes me, but I don't see how I can help that." Then Mr. Varner called on Jessica for an answer. Luckily Jessica didn't get a chance to ask anymore questions during class and when the bell rang I told her about the conversation that I had with Mike. That conversation took us all through Spanish and when the bell rang for lunch Jessica took one look at my face and said "you're not sitting with us today, are you?"
"I don't think so" I said I couldn't be sure that he would disappear again. I didn't need to worry because outside the door of Spanish he was leaning against the wall looking more like a model than anyone had a right to. He was waiting for me. Jessica took on look rolled her eyes and left. "See you later Bella" she said with a pointed look in her eye. Looks like I will have to unplug the phone when I get home.
"Hello" Edward said. His voice was amused and irritated at the same time.
"Hi." I couldn't think of anything else to say and he stayed silent so it was a quiet walk to the cafeteria. Walking with Edward was a lot like the first day of school … everybody stared. He stepped up and filled at tray with food.
"What are you doing? You aren't getting all of that for me are you?" I hissed.
"Of course not half is for me." He said. I followed him to the same table we sat at before. He pushed the tray toward me and said "take anything you want."
"I'm curious" I said picking up an apple "what would you do if somebody dared you to eat food?"
"You're always curious." He picked up a piece of pizza keeping his eyes on me chewed swallowed and then grimaced. Then something over my shoulder caught his attention. "Jessica is analyzing everything I do, she'll break it down for you later." The mention of Jessica brought the irritation back to his voice.
"So the waitress was pretty was she." Edward asked.
So he was listening! He heard what I said about what Carlisle did.
"Why did you tell Jessica I did something that my father did?" He sounded generally curious.
"I figured I would be the only thing that would satisfy her." I answered. "Is that was has you so irritated? If it is I'm sorry,"
"No" he said "at least that's not the main thing"
"Then what is it" I said
"Do you truly think you care for me than I do for you?" He murmured dazzling me again.
"Your doing it again." I said
"Doing what?"
"Dazzling me" he gave me a smug look like he knew what he was doing and was proud of it.
"Yes I really think I care more for you" I said keeping my eyes down on the table. The silence stretched on and still I kept my eyes down.
"You're wrong " he said he voice very soft.
"You can't know that" I disagreed looking up at him I shook my head wanting so much to believe him.
"What makes you think that?" He said as he stared at me.
I stared back trying to think clearly while looking at him. To find a way to explain. He started to get frustrated with my silence, so I held up one finger and saying "let me think." His expression cleared now that he knew I intended to answer him.
"Well aside from the obvious sometimes….it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else." That's the only way I could sum up the emotions that his words could trigger.
"Carlisle was right so perceptive." He whispered and there was that anguish surfacing. "That's exactly why you're wrong though. And what do you mean the obvious?"
"Well I mean look at me" I started. "I'm absolutely ordinary well except the bad things like all the near death experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled. And look at you." I waved my hand at his perfection.
He sighed and shook his head "you don't see yourself clearly at all." He said. "I admit you're dead on about the bad things, but you didn't hear what every male in the school was thinking on your first day. So trust me just this once you are the opposite of ordinary."
My embarrassment was stronger than my pleasure at his words then I quickly reminded him of my original argument. "But I'm not saying good-bye" I pointed out.
"Don't you get it? That proves I care more." He said. " Because if I can do it if leaving is the best thing for you, I'll hurt myself to keep you safe."
I glared at him "you don't think I would do the same?"
"You would never have to make that choice." He looked at me with a serious expression as he said this and then his expression softened and a trace of humor came across his face. "Ok I have one more question."
"Go ahead" I said nodding.
"Do really need to go to Seattle this Saturday or was that an excuse to get out of the dance? Or do you mind if we do something else?" He asked.
I noticed he said we and as long as we did something I didn't care. "I'm open to alternatives" I said "but I do have a favor."
"Which is….?" He said warily.
"Can I drive?"
"Why"
"Well when I told Charlie I was going he asked if I was going alone and at the time I was. If he asked again I wouldn't lie but he won't ask again but leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject. And because your driving frightens me." I said.
"Of all of things about me that could frighten you about me its my driving that frightens you." He said shaking his head.
"So where will we be going?" I asked.
"The weather will be nice so I'll be staying out of the public eyes and you can stay with me and maybe I could show you what I look like in the sun." He said making his eyes do that smoldering thing I was helpless against.
He didn't need to I was happy to spend the day with him. "Sure I would love to stay with you."
He smiled and we walked out of the cafeteria and to Biology and everybody stared at us as we walked. He walked me to gym and I wondered if he would be waiting for me after. I was worried about his family. Did they know that I knew? Was I supposed to know that they knew that I know, or not? When gym was over I was almost ready to walk home without even looking for Edward. But as it happens he was sitting outside waiting for me. When dropped me off at home he promised to see me Saturday morning and then he told me on more thing he said "tomorrow its my turn."
The next morning Edward picked me up again and started asking question he asked me everything from my favorite color to what CD was in my CD player. It continued for the rest of the day. About movies, places I had been and places I wanted to go and he questioned me endlessly on books. Only a few questions were embarrassing like when he asked me my favorite gemstone and I said topaz without thinking and I blushed. I blushed because until recently my favorite gemstone had been garnet, but his eyes were that perfect shade of topaz and it was hard to think of anything else while looking at them. When he asked me why I was blushing I told the truth. He paused for a second and then continued with the questions.
After school the questions were different though not as easily answered. He wanted to know what I missed about home and insisted I describe anything he wasn't familiar with. I had finally finished describing my cluttered room he paused instead asking another question.
"Are you finished" I asked relived.
"No not even close but your father will be home soon."
"Charlie!" I yelled and couldn't believe how long we had been sitting in his car talking I hadn't even noticed the passing time. "How late is it?" I asked.
"Its twilight" Edward replied "It's the safest time of day for us the easiest. Charlie will be here in a few minutes so unless you want to tell him you will be with me on Saturday….."
"Thanks but no thanks" I replied His hand froze on the handle as he went to open it for me.
"Not good." he muttered
"What is it."
"Another complication" he said not looking at me. He swiftly opened the door then moved away from me. The flash of headlights through that rain caught my attention.
"Charlie's around the corner oh and Bella tomorrow its still my turn." Edward flashed me smile then jumped in his car and sped away.
It turned out it was Jacob and Billy in the car they had come over to visit and watch the game. Edward had said something about a complication and I thought about what Jacob had said about his dad's superstitions. Had Billy known who was behind the wheel of the shiny Volvo and if he did I would hope he wouldn't say anything to Charlie. Thankfully he didn't.
I was looking forward to next day so much that the night's previous events with Billy and Jake seemed harmless. I was ready as soon as Edward got there and I didn't hesitate as I climbed into the passenger seat. I started to ask a question but he cut me off and said "nope today is still mine." Today he wanted to know more about people today. He even asked about my boyfriends and I was thankful I had never had any. By the time he had asked the questions we were at lunch when he pressed his lips into a hard line and said "I should have let you drive yourself today."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I'm leaving after lunch with Alice today."
"Oh" I said "well its not that far of a walk."
"Don't be silly Bella I'm not going to let you walk home. We will get your truck and leave it here for you." He said.
"But I don't have my key with me." I said.
"Don't worry your truck will be here with the key in the ignition." He said
"Ok if you say so" I replied. "So where are you going."
"Hunting" he said. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow I'm going to take all the precautions I can."
"So I will see you early Saturday morning?" I asked hopefully.
"Sure but its Saturday don't you want to sleep in?"
"No" I said a little to quickly.
"What about Charlie?" He asked.
"No he is going fishing" I said. I changed the subject then and asked "what are you hunting tonight?"
"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."
"Why are you going with Alice?'
"Alice is the most….supportive."
"And what are the others?" I asked timidly.
His frowned for a moment "Incredulous for the most part."
"So they don't like me." I said.
"That's not it" he said "they don't understand why I can't leave you alone."
"I don't either for that matter." I said.
Edward shook his head "I told you, you don't see yourself clearly. You're not like anyone else I have ever met. You fascinate me."
"You have to go now don't you?"
"Yes" he said and without turning around he said "hello Alice" as she suddenly appeared behind him.
"Edward" she greeted him her voice almost as attractive as his.
"Alice, Bella, Bella Alice." he introduced us.
"Hello Bella" she said he eyes were unreadable but her smile was friendly. "Its nice to finally meet you."
"Hi Alice" I whispered shyly.
"I will meet you at the car Edward" she said and waved at me and fluidly walked away.
"So should I say have fun or what?" I said jokingly.
"No have fun is appropriate," he grinned.
"Well have fun then," I said wishing he wouldn't go.
"I'll try" he said "please try to stay safe I know it's a challenge."
I stuck my tongue out at him and he just laughed and walked away. I went to class so upset I couldn't tell you what we talked about. In gym though Mike who has stopped talking to me since I started hanging out with Edward was starting to speak to me again and he told me he hoped I had a good time in Seattle I told him I wasn't going.
"Are you going to the dance with Cullen?" He asked.
"No I'm not going to the dance at all."
"What are you doing then?"
My first instinct was to tell him to butt out but instead I lied. "Laundry then studying for the Trig test."
"Is Cullen helping you study?" Mike asked accusingly.
"Edward" I put extra emphasized on his name "is not helping me he has gone somewhere for the weekend."
"Oh" he perked up intently "you know you could come to the dance with our group anyway we would all dance with you."
The mental image of Jessica's face made my tone sharp "I'm not going to the dance Mike ok?"
"Fine" he said sulkily "I was just offering."
When the day was over I walked to the parking lot and surprisingly my truck was sitting there. I started to think nothing was impossible for the Cullens. There was a piece of paper on my seat. There were two written : Be Safe. At dinner I told Charlie about my plans to stay home instead of going to Seattle he offered to stay home but I told him the same lie I told Mike.
I woke early the next morning and dressed smoothing the collar of my sweater and sneaked a peek out the window to see that Charlie was already gone. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard a quite knock. I opened the door and we walked toward my truck him with a sad expression.
"We made a deal" I said smugly.
Edward directed me on to the one-oh-one then had me turn onto the one-ten. "Then" he said "we drive to the pavement ends."
"And what's at the end of the pavement?" I asked.
" A trail"
"We're hiking?" I said thank goodness I had worn tennis shoes.
" Don't worry its only five miles." He said.
Yeah right don't worry, it was only five miles. That means five mile of treacherous roots and plants for me to trip over. This was going to be humiliating. We drove in silence for a few minutes until I said "so where are we going?"
"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." He said. When the road ended I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out. I heard his door slam as he started into the forest I noticed that he didn't step on to the trail.
"What about the trial?" I squeaked.
He smirked "I said there was a trial not that we are taking it."
I just stared at him. "Don't worry he said I wont let you get lost." I believed his promise as we started hiking. It wasn't as bad I thought it would be. The area was mostly flat and Edward held the damp ferns back. He helped me over fallen logs his touch never failed to make my heart beat faster and twice I caught a look that made me think he could hear it. For the most part we walked in silence sometimes he would ask a question he hadn't gotten to in the past two days. At my pace the hike took most of the morning but he never showed any sign of impatience. After several hours the color changed from murky olive to bright jade and I felt a thrill of excitement.
"Are we there yet?" I asked Edward
"Nearly" he replied. "Can you see the brightness up ahead?
I strained my eyes "should I?"
He smirked again "maybe its to soon for your eyes."
Then after another one hundred yards I could see a lightning in the trees a glow that was yellow instead of green. I reached the edge of the pool of light and I was in the most beautiful place I had ever been. The meadow was filled with flowers in every color. I could hear the bubbling of a stream. I walked slowly around this meadow that was bathed in sunlight looking around for Edward then I realized that he was still standing in the shade of the trees. Only then did I remember that Edward had promised that he was going to show me what he looked like in the sunlight. I stood still my eyes filled with curiosity. His eyes were wary so I smiled and beckoned him with my hand. Edward took a beep breath and stepped into the sunlight.
Edward in the sun was amazing and I couldn't get over it even though I had been staring at him all afternoon. In the sunlight Edward's skin literally sparkled like thousand of tiny diamonds were imbedded in his skin. As he laid in the grass with his eyes closed I hesitantly reached out and stroked his hand. His skin was so smooth like satin. When I looked up again he smiled and he said "I don't scare you?"
"Not really" I replied.
He smiled a full smile and in the moment his breath washed over me and I unconsciously leaned closer inhaling. In the blink of a eye he was gone. One second he was in front of me then he was fifty feet away. I knew I had done something wrong.
"I'm…..sorry….Edward." I said in a low voice I knew he could hear.
"Just give me a moment." He called. After a few seconds he slowly walked toward me. He took two breaths and the he smiled in an apology. "I'm so very sorry" he apologized "would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" I nodded and then for some reason a feeling of danger began to sink in.
"I'm the world best predator aren't I? Everything about me invites you in my voice, my face, even my scent. As if I need any of that!" he quickly ran out of sight only to reappear on the other side of the meadow. "As if you could out run me!" He yelled in a voice that chilled me to the bone. "As if you could fight me off," he said in the same voice as he ripped a root from the ground and hurled it against another tree and it shattered.
I sat sacred stiff. He moved slowly cautiously toward me. "Please don't be afraid I promise I won't hurt you." He said his voice becoming seductive. "I'm on my best behavior you just caught me off guard. Please forgive me."
I sat there and nodded not wanting him to hear the fear still in my voice. I looked into his eyes and saw that they were repentant. Repentant and dazzling. I suddenly couldn't really remember why I was so scared.
"Are you still scared?" Edward asked me.
"Yes" I answered truthfully "but I'm not scared of you."
"Then what are you afraid of."
" I'm scared of you leaving me and I'm scared of not being with you I'm afraid I want to stay with you more than I should."
"Yes" he said slowly "that is a reason for you to be sacred. You wanting to be with me is not in your best interest.
We sat still for a long time and then he leaned toward me and said "stay very still." He leaned toward me very slowly and inhaled taking in my scent. "I wish" he murmured "I wish you could feel the complexity the confusion I feel. I feel the hunger the thirst that I feel for you." He reached up and cupped my face and then said "there are other hungers. Hungers that even I don't understand. I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?"
"No" I answered "not for me not ever. Not before this."
He held my hands "I don't know how to be close to you" he admitted. "I don't know if I can."
I very slowly put my head on his chest and said "this is enough."
He put his arms around me and for some reason I started to compare Edward to Carlisle. Or how different it felt to be in their arms. Right now in Edward's arms it didn't feel bad. In fact it felt good cold but still good. But being in Carlisle's arms it was different. In Carlisle's arms it felt great while his arms were also cold it also made me feel warm inside. His arms made me feel safe like nothing could ever hurt me.
We sat there for a minute until we could see the forest becoming darker then we pulled apart knowing that we had to leave. As we stood up he kept my hands in his and said with excitement in his eyes "can I show you something?"
"What is it?"
"Let me show you how I travel in the forest. And don't worry you will be very safe" he said seeing my reaction. "Oh and we will get to your truck much faster."
I grinned "will you turn into a bat?"
His small grin turned into a full blown smile "yeah like I haven't heard that one before. Come on you little coward get on my back." He saw my hesitation and reached for me. He then slung me onto his back. When I was in place I clamped my arms and legs tightly around him with my heart pounding. He startled me by pressing my hand to his face and inhaling. "Easier all the time," he murmured.
Then he started running. For the first time I truly feared death. He ran through the forest like a bullet. The trees flew by us at deadly speeds but he never hit one. I was to scared to close my eyes it felt as if I had my head sticking out a car window. For the first time I felt dizzy. Then suddenly it was over. It took us hours to reach the meadow and now in a few minutes we were back in front of my truck.
"Exhilarating isn't it?" Edward said. He was waiting for me to climb down and I tried but my limbs wouldn't respond. Although my head continued to spin.
"Bella?" He asked sounding anxious.
Finally I was able to speak "I think I need to lie down."
"Oh" he said as he waited but I still couldn't move.
"Yeah I don't think I can move" I admitted.
He laughed and gently loosed my hold on his neck. There was no resisting. Then he cradled me in his arms like a child. Then he placed me on the ground. "How do you feel?" He asked.
I couldn't be sure when my head was spinning. "Dizzy I think." I tried sitting with my head between my knees and that seemed to help. I breathed in and out slowly. I felt him sit beside me. After a few moments I could raise my head.
"I guess that wasn't the best idea." He murmured.
"No" I said quickly "it was very…interesting."
"Ha!" Edward said "you're as white as I am."
"I think I should have closed my eyes."
"Remember that for next time."
"Next time!"
He laughed then his mood radiant. He was suddenly so close to me. "I was thinking while I was running."
"About not hitting the trees." I said
"Silly Bella" he said "running is second nature its not something I have to think about."
"Show off" I muttered.
He smiled at this. "No" he continued "I was thinking there is something I want to try." He took my face in his hands.
I couldn't breathe.
He hesitated not the way a normal man would hesitate before he would kiss a women. He hesitated to test himself to see if it was safe. Then his cold marble like lips were softly on mine. Neither one of us were prepared for my reaction. My blood burned in my lips my fingers knotted in his hair. My lips parted as I breathed in his scent. He automatically went unresponsive. His hands gently pushed my face back.
"Oops" I breathed as I opened my eyes.
"That's an understatement. He said.
His eyes were wild his jaw clenched in restraint. His face just inches from mine dazzling me again. I tried to move to give him some room but his hands refused to let me move.
"No" he said "its tolerable. Wait for just a moment."
I kept my eyes on his as his expression gentled. Then he smiled and impish grin. "There." He said pleased with himself
"Tolerable?" I asked
"I'm stronger than I thought" he said. "Its nice to know."
"I wish I could say the same."
"Well you are only human" he said. He jumped to his feet and held out his hand. I took it needing the support more than I thought.
"Are you still faint from the run or was it my kissing expertise?" How human he seemed as he laughed. It was different.
"I can't be sure I'm still woozy. I think its both."
"Maybe you should let me drive" he said.
"Are you crazy?" I said.
"I can drive better then you on your best day" he insisted. "You have much slower reflexes."
I shook my head "nope not a chance." I tried to step around him but he had to catch me as I wobbled.
He sighed "Bella I have tried very hard to keep you alive I'm not going to let you get behind a wheel of a vehicle when you cant even walk straight. Besides friends don't let friends drive drunk."
"Drunk?" I objected
"You're intoxicated by my very presence.
I sighed I couldn't argue with that so I dropped my keys and watched as his hand flashed out to catch them. "Just take it easy my truck is a senior citizen. And are you not affected by my presence."
Again his features became warm he didn't answer right away he just lightly brushed his lips along mine. "Regardless I still have better reflexes."
He could drive well when he kept the speed reasonable. Driving seemed to come so effortlessly to him. He barley looked at the road yet the tires never left from the center of the lane. Sometimes he glanced at the setting sun, sometimes he looked at me, my face, my hair, our intertwined hands. He had turned the radio to an oldies station and sang along to a song I never heard.
"You like fifties music?" I asked.
"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties or the seventies ugh." He shuddered. "The eighties were bearable."
"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" I asked hesitantly not wanting to upset him.
"Does it matter much?" His smile remained unchanged.
"No but I still wonder" I grimaced. "There's nothing like a unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."
He sighed then looked it to my eyes. Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him. "I was born in Chicago in 1901." He paused to look at me and my face stayed unsurprised waiting for the rest. He smiled and continued. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen and dying of Spanish influenza. I don't remember it well it was a very long time ago and human memories fade. I do remember how it felt when Carlisle saved me. Its not an easy thing, not something you could forget."
"What about you parents?"
"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic no one would ever realize I was gone."
"How did he …um…save you?"
He paused for a few moments choosing his words carefully. "It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us…I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history. For me it was very painful."
I could tell by the set of his lips he wouldn't say another word on the subject. I thought about what he said about Carlisle how he was compassionate. I could see that a man that defied his own nature had to be compassionate. He really was perfect. I did wonder though why he had created Edward. As though Edward had read my thoughts he said. "He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first of Carlisle's family though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the morgue though somehow her heart was still beating."
"So you have to be dying then to become…?" We never said the word.
"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." The respect he had for Carlisle was evident in his voice when he spoke of him. "Its easier he say though, if the blood is weaker."
"And Emmett and Rosalie?" I asked.
"Carlisle brought Rosalie into our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping Rosalie would be to me what Esme was to him. He was careful with his thoughts around me. But she was never more than a sister to me. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting we were in Appalachia at the time and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to realize how difficult of a journey that must have been for her." He threw a glance at me and raised our hands still intertwined to brush my cheek.
"But she made it" I encouraged wanting to hear more.
"Yes' he murmured. "She saw something in him that made her strong enough. And they have been together ever since. Sometimes they live apart form us as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be the longer we can stay in one place. Forks seemed perfect so we all enrolled in high school. I suppose we'll have to go to there wedding again." He laughed.
"Alice and Jasper?"
"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience as we refer to it with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another…family a very different kind of family. He became depressed and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me she has certain gifts above the norm for our kind."
"But I thought you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts?"
"That's true" he said. "She knows other things. She sees things, things that might happen, things that are coming. But its very subjective. The future isn't set in stone, things change."
"What all does she see."
"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he did. She saw Carlisle and our family and they came together to find us. She is most sensitive to non humans. She always sees when another group of our kind is coming. And any threat they may pose."
"Are there a lot of your kind?" I was curious how many of them could walk around undetected.
"No, not many. But most won't settle in one place. Only those like us who have given up hunting people can live together with humans for any length of time. We have only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time but there were so many of us that we became to noticeable. Those of us who live differently tend to band together."
"And the others?"
"Nomads for the most part. We all lived that way at times. It get tedious but we run across others now and then, because most of us prefer the North.
"Why is that?"
We had parked in front of my house so he turned off my truck. The porch light was off so I know my dad wasn't home.
"The sun Bella remember?" He laughed a shook his head. "Do you think I could walked down the street in the sunlight. The reason we chose the Olympic Peninsula it is one of the most sunless places in the world. Its nice to be able to go out in the middle of the day. Going out a night gets tiring."
"So Alice came from another family like Jasper?"
"No and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her, she awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away and none of us understand why or how he could. If she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and know that she would someday become one of us she probably have become a total savage."
There was so much to process and so much I wanted to ask but then my stomach growled. I had been so intrigued I hadn't even noticed I was hungry. I realized I was ravenous.
"I'm sorry I'm keeping you from dinner."
"I'm fine really. I don't want to leave you just yet."
"Can't I come in?"
"Do you want to?" I asked.
"If its all right." He suddenly was outside my door opening it for me. He walked beside me. He reached the door before me and opened it for me.
"The door was unlocked?"
"No I used the key from under the eave."
I stepped inside thinking I don't remember ever using that key in front of him. So I turned around and asked him "How did you know about the key?"
"I was curious about you." He replied.
"So you spied on me!" I exclaimed furious and flattered at the same time.
"What else is there to do at night?" He shrugged like it was no big deal.
"Wait you come at night?" I asked as he sat at the table while I got my dinner. "How often do you come?"
"I come here every night."
I whirled around getting slightly angry now. "What? Why?" Somebody as glorious as him spying on me was slightly flattering. But coming over every night uninvited that was just creepy even stalkerish.
"You're interesting when you sleep. You talk?" He said with a slight edge to his voice.
Uh oh what did I say in my sleep? I thought to myself.
"Are you very angry with me?" He asked.
"That depends! What all did you hear?"
He cleared his throat. "You miss your mother, you worry about her. You did say my name…and my father's.
I could tell he was angry about that, but I couldn't figure out why. Unless he was jealous. Before I could ask we heard the sound of tires.
"Should your father know I'm here?" He asked
"I'm not sure." I replied
"Ok I will see you later then." And he was gone.
Charlie came in and I fixed him a plate of leftovers as he told me about fishing and asked me about my day. I told him that it was to mice to stay inside then I told him I was going to turn in early. As I walked into my room the moonlight was shining in through the window silhouetting Edward sitting on my bed.
"Edward!" I hissed.
He laughed quietly at the look on my face and then said "I understand that you may be angry with me for coming and listening to you sleep talk, but know that you know is it ok that I come over."
I looked at him for a second then said "ok you can stay over, but only if I say so."
A dark look came over his face but it was gone so fast I wasn't sure I had seen it. He looked down at his feet "as you wish."
"Ok" I said "so you can stay tonight but I need a few human minutes."
"Of course" he said.
I went and grabbed my Pjs and went into the bathroom. I speedily but thoroughly bushed my teeth. However, I took my time in the shower the hot water helping me think through everything that happened. My plan to focus on Edward so I wouldn't think about Carlisle failed miserably. And it seemed that I talked about Carlisle in my sleep as much as I talked about Edward. And it seemed that Edward did not like that. Then there was the fact that Edward had watched me sleep without me knowing. Despite the hot water I shivered thinking about Edward watching me without my permission. At least now I would know when he would be here.
When I got back to my room Edward hadn't moved an inch. He moved closer to me and cupped my face in his hands laying his cool cheek against my skin. I wanted to ask him if he really was jealous that I mentioned Carlisle in my sleep but once again with him so close to me I couldn't really form a complete thought. After a few minutes he moved away but by that time I had forgotten about asking him about Carlisle. So I said the only thing I could think of.
"It seems to be much easier for you now to be close to me."
"Does it seem that way to you?" He whispered. I felt his hand lightly brushing my hair back so he could ghost his lips beneath my ear.
"I was wondering" I whispered breathlessly "why is that you think."
He leaned back and looked at me "mind over matter" he said. Then he groaned.
"What is it?" I asked scared I had done something wrong.
"I'm just pleasantly surprised" he said. "In the last hundred years I had never found someone I wanted to be with in another way then with my brothers and sisters. And even though its new to me I'm good at it…at being with you."
"But you're good at everything." I said
He shrugged allowing that and we laughed quietly. "But" he said "I wasn't sure I was strong enough." He picked up my hands and pressed it to his face. "And while there still is a possibility that I might be …overcome. I just decided I was strong enough that there was no way I could hurt you." He sighed "I'm afraid it will be harder tomorrow. I've had the scent of you in my head all day and I have gained somewhat desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time I'll have to start over again."
He looked so sad so forlorn that I couldn't help it. I said "don't leave. Stay." I really wasn't comfortable with it but his face lit up when I told him he could stay he was so happy and I was happy I could bring that to him.
"Thank you Bella you don't know what this means to me." He said. Then I yawned and he said "perhaps you should go to sleep."
I laughed quietly "like I could sleep with you here!"
"You have before" he pointed out.
"Yeah but I didn't know you were here." I said.
We lay there for a few more minutes with me asking him some questions. One question I asked was "why can you read minds why only you? And Alice seeing the future…why does that happen?"
"We don't really know." He said shrugging. "Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life where they are intensified. Like our minds and our senses. He thinks I must have already been sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition wherever she was."
"What about the others." I asked.
"Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her tenacity or I guess you could call it pigheadedness" he chuckled. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him calm down a room of angry people, for example. It's a very subtle gift."
I noticed he didn't mention Carlisle's gift so I asked him "and Carlisle?"
He sighed "Carlisle brought his compassion."
I yawned again and he chuckled " you should sleep."
"I'm not sure if I can."
"Try" he said and he started humming softly in my ear and like a lullaby it lulled me into a deep sleep.
The soft light of another cloudy day came through my window waking me. I was trying to remember something like a dream and then the previous days event flooded back to me. I sat up quickly and then I heard his voice come from the corner "your hair looks like a haystack…but I like it."
"Edward! You did stay!" I said excited as a ran over to him.
"Of course" he answered with a chuckle.
"Wait! What about Charlie?" I asked suddenly remembering.
"Don't worry he left an hour ago."
"I need another human minute ok?"
"Ok."
I walked into the bathroom brushed my teeth, splashed some cold water on my face, and tried to straighten my hair. Then I half ran back to my room. He was still sitting in my room and he held his arms out for me and pulled me into his embrace. We went down stairs where he watched me eat a bowl of cereal with a look of disgust. As I finished I asked "so what's on the agenda for today?"
"Huh" he said "well what would you say to meeting my family today?"
I gulped
"Are you afraid now?" He asked.
"Yes" I admitted.
"Don't worry" he said smirking "I'll protect you."
"I'm not afraid of them I'm afraid that they won't like me. That was only a half lie. I mean I wasn't afraid of them and I was worried about what they would think, but I was a little afraid of seeing Carlisle again. "I mean won't they be surprised that you would bring somebody like me home to meet them?" I continued. "Do they know that I know?"
"Oh they know" he said smiling. "They actually took bets yesterday on weather I would bring you back or not. But we really don't have any secrets in the family. I mean we can't with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future." He smiled even wider "you should also introduce me to your father soon."
"You mean as my boyfriend?" I asked.
"Isn't that customary?"
"Well I don't know" I admitted "I just don't want you to pretend just for me."
"I'm not pretending" he said patiently.
"So are you going to tell Charlie or not?" He demanded.
"Well if you think I need to I will."
"I think you need to because he will need and explanation to why I'm going to be around here all the time.
We were silent for a few minutes until he finally said "are you finished?"
"Yeah" I jumped up.
"Go get dressed I'll wait" he said.
I had a hard time deciding what to wear. I wanted to look nice for his family and more specifically for Carlisle. So I wanted to look good but not like I was trying to hard. I ended up choosing my only skirt. A long khaki-colored but still casual. I put on a dark blue blouse that Edward once complimented. There was nothing I could do with my hair so I just put it in a simple ponytail.
"Ok" I said as I bounded down the stairs "I'm ready."
He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me. He pulled me to him kissed me once on the lips one that left me breathless…literally. "Ok lets go I'm trying not to think to much about what I'm about to do."
"And you're not worried about going to a house full of vampires but you think those said vampires wont like you right?" He said.
"Yeah that's right." I said.
He shook his head "you're incredible."
I realized as Edward drove my truck out of the main part of town that I had no I idea where he lived. The houses that we passed were getting further apart. Then we passed houses altogether and we were driving through a forest. I was struggling to be patient then we turned on an unpaved road. It was unmarked and nearly invisible. The forest encroached on both sides. Then after a few miles there was some thinning of the woods and we were in a yard because the trees around shaded the entire place up to the walls of a house.
I defiantly didn't expect this. The house was timeless graceful and probably a hundred years old. It was painted white, three stories tall. The windows or doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration. My truck was the only car in sight. I could hear a river close by hidden by the forest.
"Wow" I said breathlessly.
"You like it?" He asked.
"It has a certain charm."
He laughed quietly and pulled on the end of my ponytail. "You ready for this?" He asked.
"Not even a little bit….lets go." I tried to laugh but I couldn't I smoothed my hair.
"You look lovely." He took my hand easily without thinking about it.
We walked up the steps to the porch. I knew he could feel my tension as he squeezed my hand gently. He opened the door for me. The inside was more surprising than the exterior. It was very bright, very open, and very large. Waiting just to greet us next to a grand piano were Esme and Carlisle Cullen. I assumed the women was Esme as she was the only one I had never seen before. She had the same pale beautiful features as the rest of them. She had a heart-shaped face, billows of soft, caramel colored hair. She reminded me miraculously of my mother. She was small, slender, yet less angular more rounded than the others.
And of course standing next to her was the glorious vampire that was Carlisle Cullen. I had seen him before of course and I had dreamed and fantasized about him before. But I still couldn't help but be struck again by his youth his beautiful perfection. Esme and Carlisle both smiled at me. However they made no move to approach us trying not to frighten me I suppose.
"Carlisle, Esme" Edward said braking the silence "this is Bella."
"You are most welcome Bella" Carlisle said as he carefully approached me. He raised his hand tentatively and I stepped forward to shake hands with him. As I touched his hand I felt that electric current run through me and it took everything I had in me not to throw myself into his arms. Instead I just said "Its nice to see you again Dr. Cullen."
"Please call me Carlisle."
"Carlisle." I smiled at him my sudden confidence surprising me. I could feel Edward relax at my side.
Esme stepped forward reaching for my hand as well. "Its very nice to know you," she said sincerely.
"Thank you I'm glad to know you as well." It was true I should be jealous of her or even dislike her because she was with Carlisle. But I couldn't she was just to sweet and sincere for me to have any negative feelings for her.
"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edward asked but suddenly Alice arrived at the top of the stairs.
"Hey Edward!" Alice called enthusiastically. She ran down the stairs just a blur and then came to a graceful stop in front of us. Carlisle and Esme gave her a warning glance but I didn't mind it seemed natural for her at least.
"Hi Bella!" Alice said. She bounced forward to kiss my cheek. Carlisle and Esme looked staggered. There was shock in my eyes, but I was also very pleased that she seemed to approve. I felt Edward stiffen at my side, I glanced at him but his expression was unreadable. "You do smell nice" Alice commented to my embarrassment. Nobody seemed to know what to say and then Jasper was there tall and leonine. I was suddenly comfortable. I saw Edward stare at Jasper and then I remembered what Jasper could do.
"Hello Bella," Jasper said. He kept his distance not offering his hand, but it was impossible to feel awkward around him.
"Hello Jasper." I smiled at him shyly, and then at the others I said "its nice to meet you all you have a very beautiful home" I added.
"Thank you" Esme said "we are so glad you came." She spoke with feeling and I realized she thought I was brave.
As I looked around for Rosalie and Emmett my eyes landed on the piano. Esme noticed my preoccupation. "Do you play?" Esme asked me motioning to the piano.
I shook my head "not at all. But its beautiful is it yours?"
"No" she laughed. "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"
"No" I glared at his innocent expression. "I should have know I guess."
Esme raised his eyes in confusion.
"Edward can do everything, right?" I explained.
Jasper snickered and Esme gave a reproving look to Edward and said "I hope you haven't been showing off its rude."
"Just a bit," he laughed and Esme's faced softened at the sound and they shared a look I didn't understand.
"He is being to modest, actually." I corrected.
"Well play for her," Esme encouraged.
"You just said showing off was rude" he objected.
"There are exceptions to every rule" she pointed out.
"I would like to hear you play," I volunteered.
"Its settled then." Esme pushed him to the piano and he pulled me with him and I sat on the bench with him. He tossed me and exasperated look before he started to play. As his fingers flowed swiftly across the keys and the room was filled with a composition so complex it was impossible to believe only one set of hands played them. I heard low chuckles behind me as my mouth dropped open. Edward looked at me the music flowing without breaking "do you like it?"
"You wrote this?" I gasped.
He nodded "Its Esme's favorite."
I closed my eyes shaking my head.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I'm feeling extremely insignificant."
The music slowed, transforming into something softer and to my surprise I detected the melody of his lullaby waving trough the notes.
"They all like you, you know," he said "Esme especially."
I glanced behind me and I saw that the room was empty.
"Where did they go?"
"Very subtly giving us privacy I guess." He said.
I sighed "They like me but Emmett and Rosalie…." I trailed off.
He frowned "don't worry about Rosalie she'll come around."
"And Emmett?"
"Well he thinks I'm a lunatic, its true but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."
"What is it that upsets her?" I wasn't really sure I wanted to know the answer.
He sighed deeply "Rosalie struggles the most of what we are. Its hard for her to have someone on the outside who knows the truth. And she is a little jealous.."
"She is jealous of me? Why?"
"You're human" Edward said simply "she wishes that she were too."
"Oh" I muttered "Even Jasper though…"
"That's my fault" Edward said quickly "I told you Jasper was the newest to our life. I warned him to keep his distance.
"Esme and Carlisle…..?" I continued.
"Are happy to see me happy. Actually Esme wouldn't care if you had two heads. All this time she was worried about me afraid there was something missing. That I was too young when Carlisle changed me. She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you she about chokes with satisfaction."
"Alice seems very…enthusiastic."
"Alice has here own way of seeing things" he said through tight lips.
He finally finished the song turned to me and said "do you want to see the rest of the house."
I nodded. He took my hand and led me up the staircase my hand trialing up the rail. Once we got to the top named rooms as we passed them "Rosalie and Emmett's….Carlisle's office, Alice's room."
I would have kept going but something stopped me. At the end of the hall was a large wooden cross. Edward chuckled at my expression.
"It is ironic isn't it?" He said.
By the look of the wood I said "it mush be very old."
"Early sixteen-thirties more or less" Edward said shrugging.
I looked at him "why do you keep it here?"
"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."
"He collected antiques?"
"No he carved it" Edward said . "It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."
I tried to make sure my face didn't betray my shock but I wasn't sure it worked. I did the mental math and the cross was over three hundred and seventy years old. And then that would make Carlisle, "how old is Carlisle?" I asked quietly.
"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday." Edward replied.
He saw the questions in my eyes and began to speak "Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule though."
Then Edward cocked his head as if listening to something. Then he grabbed my hand and led me back to the room he had said was Carlisle's office. Edward knocked and Carlisle's voiced called "come in." Edward opened the door to a high- ceiling room with tall west-facing windows. The walls were paneled in a darker wood where they were visible. Most of the space was taken up by towering bookshelves that reached above my head and held more books than I had ever seen.
Carlisle sat behind a huge desk in a leather chair he was just putting a bookmark in the pages of a thick volume he held. "What can I do for you " Carlisle asked pleasantly.
"I was telling Bella some of you history" Edward said.
"We didn't mean to disturb you." I said quickly.
"Not at all. Shall I just leave?" He asked.
"Actually Carlisle if you aren't busy do you think you can tell her your story? Alice has wanted to speak to me since I have walked through the door." Edward said.
"I don't want to bother you." I said quietly looking down.
"You won't be bothering me Bella I would enjoy sharing my history with you." Carlisle said smiling.
"Thank you Carlisle" Edward said "Bella I will be back shortly. He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand then before I could blink he had vanished out the door.
I turned around nervous to be alone with Carlisle. I looked up into his warm golden eyes and I saw him smiling at me. "So how far did Edward get into my history?"
"Not far" I said. "He just told me what year you believed you were born in."
"Well the let's see" he lead me over to leather couch and I sat down and he sat next to me. "I was the son of an Anglican pastor. My mother died giving birth to me. And my father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came to power he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves,….and vampires. They burned innocent people or course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch. When my father grew old he placed me his obedient son in charge or the raids. At first I was a disappointment."
Carlisle was very still as he said this last part that it hurt him to remember how he disappointed his father. I couldn't bear to see him hurt so I did the only thing I could think of to give him some comfort. I reached over grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze and I smiled at him. Then Carlisle smiled back at me and lightly squeezed back kept holding on to my hand and continued with his story.
"I wasn't quick to accuse, to see demons where they didn't exist. But desperate to please I was persistent and more clever than my father. I actually did find a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city only coming out by night to hunt. In those days when monsters were not just myths and legends that was the way many lived. The people gathered their pitchforks and torches of course and waited where I had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged. He must have been accident and weak with hunger. I heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets and I for I was twenty-three and very fast was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them but I think he was too hungry so he attacked. He fell on myself first but the others were close behind me and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men and made off with a third leaving me bleeding in the street."
"I knew what my father would do. The bodies would be burned anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. So I acted instinctively to save my own life. I hid myself in a cellar buried in rotten potatoes for three days. I don't know how I kept myself silent during those days the transformation is very painful. It was over then and I realized what I had become."
Carlisle broke off at this point seeing the look on my face. I'm not sure what my face was reveling but it was bad enough for Carlisle to ask me "are you alright Bella?" he asked holding my hand between both of his.
"I'm fine" I assured him but he saw the curiosity in my eyes.
He smiled at me "I expect u have some questions."
"A few."
He smiled and pulled me up from the couch a turned me gently to look back at his door. Every time Carlisle touched me even in a causal way my heart sped up and it was even more embarrassing know that I knew he could he hear it. Thankfully he didn't comment on it and directed my attention to the wall. This one was not filled with books but was crowded with framed pictures. Carlisle guided me to the far left side and showed me a small oil painting in a plain wooden frame. It depicted a miniature city full of steeply slanted rooftops with thin spires atop a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the foreground crossed by a bridge covered with structures that looked like tiny cathedrals.
"This is the London of my youth." Carlisle said as he stood behind me keeping his hands on my shoulders.
I looked at the painting for a few more seconds and the I said "will you tell me what happened next?"
Carlisle smiled and continued. "When I knew what he had become I rebelled against it. I tried to destroy myself, however that's not easily done."
"How" I asked before I could stop myself.
"I jumped from great heights, I tried to drown myself in the ocean… but I was young to the new life and very strong. It is amazing that I was able to resist. Feeding while I was still so young. The instinct is more powerful then it takes over everything. But I was so repelled by myself that I had the strength to try to kill myself with starvation."
"Is that possible?" I asked.
"No there are very few ways we can be killed. So I grew very hungry and eventually weak. I stayed away from the human population I recognized my will power was weakling too. For months I wandered by night seeking the loneliest places loathing myself. One night a herd of deer passed by my hiding place. I was so wild with thirst I attacked with out thinking . My strength returned and I realized there was an alternative to being this vile monster I feared. I had eaten venison in my former life. Over the next few months my new philosophy was born. I could exist without being a demon, I had found myself again."
"I began to make better use of my time. I had always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now I had unlimited time before me. I studied by night, planned by day. I swam to France and…"
"Wait wait wait" I interrupted him "you swam to France.
"People swim the Channel all the time Bella" he said with a chuckle.
"That's true it just sounded funny in that context. Go on please."
He pointed out another picture to me. This one was the most colorful by far. The most ornately framed and the largest. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes writhing around long pillars. I couldn't tell if it represented Greek mythology or if the characters floating in the clouds were meant to be biblical.
"I swam to France and continued on through Europe to the universities there. By night I studied music, science, and medicine and there I found my calling, my penance in that saving human lives. I can't really describe the struggle it tool me two centuries of tortuous effort to perfect my self control. Now I'm all but immune to scent of human blood so I'm able to do the work I love without agony. I find a great deal of peace at the hospital. I was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."
Carlisle pointed to a sedate quartet of figures painted on the highest balcony looking down calmly on the mayhem below them. I examined the grouping carefully and realized with a startled laugh that I recognized the golden haired man.
"Solimena was greatly inspired by my friends. He often painted them as gods" he chuckler. "Aro, Marcus, Caius" he said indicating the other three. Nighttime patron of the arts."
"What happened to them?' I wondered out loud.
"They're still there" Carlisle shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. I stayed with then only a short time just a few decades. I greatly admire their civility their refinement but they persisted in trying to cure my aversion to my natural food source as they called it. They tried to persuade me and I tried to persuade them to no avail. So at that time I decided to try the New World. I dreamed of finding others like myself. I was very lonely. I didn't find anyone for a long time. But as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales I found I could interact with unsuspecting humans as if I were one of them. I began practicing medicine. But the companionship I craved evaded me. When the influenza epidemic hit I was working in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in my mind for several years and had decided to act. Since I couldn't find a companion I would create one. I wasn't absolutely sure how my own transformation had occurred and I didn't want to steal anybodies life the way mine had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind when I found Edward. There really was no hope for him he had been left with the dying. I had nursed his parents and I knew he was alone, I decided to try. And so know we come full circle.
He turned me around to face him and said softly "I know it's a lot to process Bella but if you would like I would like to share another part of my history with you. A history I have not told my family about yet. May I tell you?"
Carlisle was looking at me with a look that I couldn't refuse and I felt honored that he would share something with me that he hadn't shared with his family yet. So I looked at him smiled and said "I would love to hear more."
He smiled and led me to behind his desk and showed me a painting that he had not hung up. The picture was dark but it depicted Carlisle as a god. It showed Carlisle standing between a small boy and a women I assumed was his mother and a vampire who looked like he had been no older then a teenager when he was changed. it was obvious that Carlisle was protecting this small boy and his mother.
"Bella" Carlisle started "have you ever heard of Stregoni Benefuci?"
I nodded remembering what I read on the internet that the Stregoni Benefuci was an Italian vampire was a good vampire and the enemy of the evil vampires.
"Well when I was in Italy with Aro, Marcus, and Caius," Carlisle began "they changed this young teenager named Mario. He was very arrogant and often challenged the brother's rules. You see while the brother drink human blood they do not hunt in the city. Well Mario was out hunting in the city while I was running and errand for Aro. On my way back I could smell the blood and decided to check it out. When I saw who it was I recognized the boy as Bernardo and delightful boy who intrigued me as he was always curious. He almost always would find me when I came out on the overcast days in Italy asking all kinds of questions."
"So when I came across Mario about to kill Bernardo and his mother I had to stop him. And I regret to say that I had to kill him. I left a few days after then Aro sent me a letter telling me that Bernardo's mother had told somebody and Solimena heard it and was inspired to paint it. Aro just recently sent me the painting. So you see I' am Stregoni Benefuci.
I was amazed to hear that he was the good vampire, but then how could he not be. I mean when I read about it on the internet after Jacob's story I thought that if Carlisle was a vampire he had to be one of the good ones. So I looked at Carlisle and smiled.
He smiled back and said "you see Bella I didn't want to be a monster."
Surprised by my own boldness I grabbed is hand feeling that electric current again and said "Carlisle you could never be a monster." I smiled and squeezed his fingers and he squeezed back.
Hope you enjoyed! Please review!