Title: "A Beat in My Heart"

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Author's Notes: Lucy Cakes, EastYorkDisneyFan, Guest, and Fluttershy, thank you so much for your comments in the last chapter. The first chapter I actually started with in this story was chapter 2 and 11 everything else just fell in place around it so I really appreciate it, your reviews really keep me going. To have my work described as "powerful" is really awesome! Fluttershy29, your threats of breaking my fingers are kinda self defeating...If you break them I cannot type but still very funny nonetheless. Jen. I love your honesty, it cracks me up. I appreciate you reading past me killing him. But hey I may still surprise you yet !

Summary: I'm right here with you...we're never apart...

Chapter 12 Stardate 44573.6
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The Enterprise D was docked at Starbase 154 to pick up a new crew rotation for Engineering (Ensigns Brewster and Lefler) and to get new medical supplies. Dr. Crusher had personally seen to the delivery of some new medical equipment. In the passing of a year her auburn hair had grown back to its shoulder length and was pulled back in a soft pony tail away from her face. Around her neck a shining silver locket glimmered in the light as she fondled it with her hand. She opened the locket inside was Wesley's picture, and the mass of the locket contained portions of his DNA remains. She took a seat at a nearby table in the cafe/bookstore and stared at the people passing by. She sipped from her coffee as they smiled and laughed and talked and lived their life. "Life goes on" she heard herself say...but for her it didn't.

Lately every young man she sees reminds her of her son and she gets weepy just thinking about it. When she sees a handsome young man across the room from the back that resembles him, she is torn up and gets up to leave heading back for the Enterprise. Something makes her turn back. The young man is facing away from her as he stares at a trinket contemplating a purchase.

When he asks the attendee the cost she hears his voice and stops her approach towards him. Sensing her proximity the young man turned around and shock and then happiness warms his expression.

Beverly is stunned as she withdraws from him. She turns and begins to walk away from him and heads for the gangway back to the Enterprise.

Suddenly she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Please wait." the voice asked. He sounded so much like him. She turned around and tears sprang from her eyes at the sight. The young man looked just like her son. He looked like him. He sounded like him.

"I saw the three galaxy class star ships in dock here. I meant to leave before the Enterprise docked but I guess I got distracted." he said holding up the twinkling object in his hand.

It was then that he noticed her tears. He reached up and wiped the tear from her cheek.

"I'm sorry...please...don't." she beckoned asking him to stop but not moving from his grasp.

"What's wrong? You don't seem like yourself...well not like any Beverly Crusher or Beverly Picard I have ever encountered." he chuckled.

"Beverly Pic -... who are you...what are you?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you recognized me. Please forgive me for intruding," the young man said as he turned and started to walk away.

"Wesley?" she said her voice barely audible as he turned to face her again.

"Yes. I am Wesley Crusher but obviously not your Wesley. I am a Traveler. It's hard to explain." he grinned nervously. God, she missed that grin.

She nodded. "No...I understand...I've heard of the traveler. My son Wes... well he met him once or twice."

"I guess this is strange but you seemed so sad. I could never stand to see my mother upset. Is your son here? Did something happen?"
She ran her hands across his face and was just amazed there was virtually no difference between him and her son. This young man seemed a little older, a little taller, but her son would be almost 18 by now too.

"My Wesley was very sick with a horrible virus... and I... I couldn't save him and he died 11 months, 26 days ago. ...but you..."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." he said as he turned to move away.

"No. Please don't go. I miss him so much." she cried grasping his hand. He pulled her into a firm embrace and she visibly relaxed into his arms and inhaled his scent. He even smelled like her son, his sandalwood and vanilla shampoo, and the feel of him felt so much like her Wesley, she didn't want to let him go.

"I miss you too mom, you and dad. It's been so hard being alone."

Beverly pulled away from him and stared at his teary eyes.

"Wesley?"

"My father was killed on the Stargazer when I was 5 and my mother died a year ago on the Enterprise she was ill, a virus claimed her life while she tried to save mine. I didn't even get to say goodbye." She was alarmed at the similarities but sensing his heartbreak she grabbed him again and held him.

"Wes...this virus you and your mother had, was it the Leutscher virus?" he nodded solemnly bowing his head. She held his hand tightly until the realization of her question hit him.

"Your son?" she nodded grimly.

"I thought I was protecting him, trying to keep him from getting sick..."

"The shots..."

"Your mother did them too?"

"Yes, we both had them but she developed other complications...I can only assume your son did as well." Beverly nodded tears flooding her eyes.

"You did what you thought was best to protect him, she did what she could to protect us." Beverly stared off into the distance unsure if she could believe his words.

"They sat and talked for the better part of two hours, it was amazing the similar stories they had except this Wesley had entered Starfleet when he was 15 and had taken his leave of it when his mother died to study with the traveler.

The traveler. In his universe her son was a traveler and had learned to hone in his god-like powers manipulating time and space. She wondered where Wesley's life may have gone had she been able to save him. Would he leave her to go explore the universe for decades at a time? Could she deal with losing him that way?

She would never get the chance to ask him about the relationships he left behind on Earth and the Enterprise because she suddenly felt his strong, warm hands pulling away.

"I have to go..." he whispered standing releasing her hand.

"No. Please...you could stay with me..." she pleaded gnawing at her lips. Wesley stared at her contemplatively. He thought how wonderful it would be to be with his mother again, but the very nature of studying to to be a traveler was its randomness and unpredictability. He could not stay with her no matter how much he wanted to heal their hearts.

"I wish I could, but I can't stay...I can't alter this timeline anymore than I have."

"Please..." she begged.

Wesley's heart broke into a million pieces. He could feel every ounce of anguish this Beverly felt over the loss of her "Wesley." He felt physically ill as her pain consumed him, his own ache for his mother clutching at his soul. He kissed both of her cheeks where her tears were falling and stared at her face, engraining it into his memory forever.

He remembered something his mother always used to say, and he hoped and prayed it had meaning for this Beverly. He kissed her hand and placed it over his heart.

"You're right here with me. We're never apart as long as there's a beat in my heart."

" I guess some things are a constant between us in any universe..."

"Remember your Wesley is right there in your heart too. Goodbye, I love you mom."

"I love you too Wesley." She felt strange calling him her son's name, but it gave her a bit of closure as she stared at his handsome face, hugged him tightly one last time, inhaling deeply savoring the warmth and feel of this life in her arms.

"Wait...It's your birthday in a few days right?" the young man nodded.

"I'll never get to say this again. Happy birthday Wesley. May you have many more." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks...mom." he smiled as he smoothed a hand down her face and walked away. He turned and smiled one last time and disappeared in a flash of light. The ache at seeing him disappear in front of her eyes was unbearable. She was barely able to stand.

"Transporter room...one to beam up...please." she also disappeared in a shimmer of light.

She went back to her quarters and drank a glass of wine and settled onto her son's bed and cried. She cried for her son. Losing Jack was the most painful feeling she thought she would ever experience but losing Wesley, losing her baby boy before he could truly begin his life, she couldn't stand it.

She heard her son's door open and was surprised to see her visitor.

"How did you know I was here?" she whispered staring at the floor.

"I'm so worried about you my love...It kills me that you are trying to grieve alone."

He kneeled in front of her and took her beautiful sad face in his hands. Gently he kissed her lips and pulled her into his arms. Her head lay on his shoulder as he led her to a chair. He sat down and sat her in his lap.

"Wesley would not want this for you, he could not stand your sadness any more than I could. We can both grieve for him, but we must also live for him." he wiped a tear from her cheek as she thumbed the locket around her neck. She knew he was right, she would have to live her life for Wesley and for herself.

After this chapter go directly to chapter 15. Otherwise you will be viewing an alternate ending.

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I promised a happy ending didn't I...is this happy enough or do you need another chapter? Well you need to earn it. Give me some nice warm fuzzy reviews and your suggestions for new stories.