Tony's POV

The lab doors swish open just before my blasting music is brought down a couple notches, and I sigh and set down my tools before slowly turning to see either a) what I need to sign, or b) which teammate is forcing me out into the real world.

As it turns out, option A holds true.

Taylor plops a file on my desk with a tired sigh as she hitches a hip on the edge of the workspace next to said file. "Mission report from Thursday, with the huge globs of whatever in and near Fort Hamilton. You need to sign a few things."

I send a small smile towards my VP, secretary, and daughter. "Thanks. I swear I will die by paperwork."

She just shrugs. "I'll write your obituary if I don't fall first."

I just smile as I peruse the reports, signing where necessary as Taylor walks over to her desk and idly pokes at her project and the surrounding holograms.

"You know," I muse, "This would have been a lot easier with one of those military liaisons Fury was always trying to shove down our throats."

"Don't we already have one of those?"

"Yes, we," I motion between the two of us, "do. But he only goes as far as SI." I point out.

Taylor's smirk grows as she gains a twinkle in her eyes. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

I quirk an eyebrow. "Are you thinking about hotdogs and Coney Island?"

She just stares at me until I answer.

"Fine, yeah, yeah, give the guy a call, he's past due on his bi-monthly visits anyways."

There's a little bounce in her step as she grabs the files again and leaves the lab.

A~A~A

"Hey, Tony, there's a big guy downstairs giving security issues, would you know anything about that?"

I look up from my coffee and magazine to blink at Clint. "Name?"

"A Colonel Rhodes."

"Taylor." I sigh, turning my barstool towards the couches. "Go free your godfather from Hansen's nutjobs."

"Why can't Happy do it?" she whines, getting up and entering the elevator anyways, although still mumbling about how this was below her pay grade.

I brush off Clint's confused and skeptical look and take a sip of my coffee.

Taylor bounds up the steps not five minutes later, a duffle bag on her arm and an imposing six foot man in tow.

"Rhodey!" I call. "How ya doing, platypus?"

He pulls me into a one-handed man-hug as Taylor tosses his bag onto a couch. "Hey, Tony."

"How have you been, cupcake?" I chirp as I grab his favorite coffee brand, ignoring the strange looks I'm getting from the majority of my teammates.

He just shrugs. "Busy. Really, really busy. Thanks."

I nod as he takes the mug and slides into a barstool, and I quickly inventory all the Avengers in the room before turning to Clint again. "Can you get Steve, Natasha, and Bruce in here? They need to meet Rhodey."

Clint blinks once and nods before he's gone in an instant.

I will never understand how my daughter is comfortable around, and even welcomes, people like that.

But to each his/her own, I suppose.

I give my best friend a quick rundown of the situation before Clint pops back in with the Tower's other resident spy, captain, and scientist.

"Hey guys." I call. "Meet Colonel James Rhodes."

Steve instantly snaps to, while Natasha give a small, knowing smirk and Bruce just looks confused.

I wait until Rhodey releases Steve from his salute to begin instructions. "Air Force Colonel James Rhodes, known to friends-"

"Only you, Tony."

"-as Rhodey." I finish, completely ignoring his interruption. "He's Stark Industries military liaison."

"And, like, your only human, non-Avenger friend." Taylor cuts in from her perch on the back of the nearest couch.

"And the better half of your two godfathers." I counter, ignoring her jibe.

"Better half?" Steve questions. "What's with the other half?"

The room quickly grows silent, and I can see both Natasha and Taylor flinch imperceptibly. Clint lets out a brutal cough that sounds almost like 'read the files'.

"Anyways." I break in, a little too loud, "He's going to be our military liaison, too, to help with cases like Thursday's. And if that's going to happen, I think introductions are in order."

I spin towards the gathered team and wave a hand towards Steve. "Rhodey, meet Captain Steve Rogers, Captain America. America's Golden Child in a sparkly suit."

"So you're Tony's friend?" Steve smirks. "How did a Colonel like you get to be buddies with him?"

Rhodey opens his mouth to explain, but Taylor beats him to the punch.

"Captain." she deadpans, using the same tone she utilized when she first met Steve. That 'don't mess with my family, I will hunt you down' scary tone.

Steve looks at her, then back at the two of us, looking very sheepish and shy all of a sudden. "Sorry, Colonel."

"It's alright, Captain. We went to MIT together." Rhodey explains with a genial smile.

"Nex up, this is my science bro, Dr. Bruce Banner, and his alter ego, Hulk."

"I've heard a lot about you, Doctor." Rhodey grins. "This numbskull never shuts up about you."

Bruce just gives a small smirk. "I could say the same about you. Seriously, never quiet."

"I'm right here." I groan, because what was I thinking, they're already ganging up on me.

They both just give me infuriating grins.

I sigh and wave a hand towards Natasha. "Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, my ex-not-really-assistant."

Rhodey nods as he sips his coffee. "Ms. Rushman."

Natasha just silently acknowledges him and his place in that whole fiasco.

Next I motion towards the big, blonde, monstrosity of a god denting my couch cushions. "Thor, Norse god of thunder, all that great historical stuff, yadda, yadda, yadda."

Rhodey shakes his head in disbelief. "God, your life gets crazier every day, I swear. First it was the suit, now you house a freaking god. Aliases?"

"Uh…Thor?"

"Good enough." he shrugs.

"And finally, Clint Barton, Hawkeye." I flick a hand towards the archer. "Sniper, spy, ex-assassin, all that good stuff."

Rhodey looks at me, Clint, and then back again. "There's something you aren't mentioning here."

"Oh, yeah." I drawl, tuning out Taylor's groans in the background. "Did I mention he's Taylor's boyfriend?"

Rhodey just fixes Clint with the stony glare he normally saves for terrorists, and I can tell they will be having words (read: shovel talk) later.

"Anyone else?" Rhodey asks as Clint blinks and turns away.

I shake my head. "These are the Avengers. Box set, original packaging, collectors model. There are a few girlfriends wandering about the tower, and one slightly psychotic intern, but you'll happen upon them soon enough."

Rhodey just shrugs indifferently. "Sounds good. I already know what my job is, so I've said my piece."

An awkward silence falls, nobody knowing what to do, until Steve calls dismissed and grabs a newspaper before leaving the room himself, leaving just Taylor, Rhodey, and I.

"So." Taylor clears her throat. "I really hope you got that one drug dealer I sent you."

"Taylor, that was over a year ago, of course I did."

"Oh good, because if you didn't I'd be forced to reevaluate your credentials and stuff."

"What credentials?!"

"Exactly!"

"Alright," I cut in, "You're both horrible at small talk, I've got bigger topics." I spin around so I'm facing my best friend. "Like how you, my friend, outrank Captain America."

Rhodey sees the mischief in our eyes and lets his forehead meet the table with a groan.