Chapter 10

Sorry about the wait but I was trying to get this perfect and not to depressing like it always seems to become but then I realized wait we are talking about death in this chapter so let's just make it one big ball of depression… so yeah. Once again spoiler alert for COG if you haven't read that and you don't want it ruined then please don't read and then yell at me about it. Ok now that that's out of the way let's begin with the most depressing chapter EVER!

Alec POV

I only said one word and I hoped that he wouldn't ask more but of course it was Magnus we were talking about. The king of the fashion world and apparently the king of asking way too many fucking questions. It wasn't like he actually asked me a question after I basically just blurted Max's name out with no explanation but I knew that the questions were going to start, I could see it in his eyes, so I just decided that I should go ahead and explain. Now it was silent and I had just been standing there looking at the ground and at my shoes for at least ten minutes trying to decide whether I should tell him, I didn't even know him and yet something inside my mind wanted me to tell, to tell someone other than my family who just glared at me whenever I brought it up. Magnus had been staring at me ever since I had blurted out my little brothers name and it was starting to get really weird, way too much staring, but could I really blame the guy he was probably completely confused right about now. When I thought that I had finally gotten up enough courage to tell this story without breaking down I sighed and raised my eyes to meet his before sitting down on one of the benches. Magnus sat down beside me and waited.
"Six years ago," I started, "My brother Max was killed here in Central Park." I heard him quietly gasp and before he could say anything I started talking again.
"We had been at Central Park Zoo all day because Max had wanted to get out of the house and away from our parents who, when we left, had been pacing around the island in the kitchen and throwing plates at one another. Izzy and Jace had left for the mall to meet with friends about an hour before and it was just Max and I left in the house. So instead of making him listen to all the shit they were saying and the smashing of fine china I suggested that we go to the zoo. Max had always loved it there and like I knew he would, he said yes and so we left the house without telling anyone where we had gone. The zoo had been fun and Max had seemed to have a great time. We had stayed until the zoo closed down and it had gotten dark outside, after we left the zoo Max had begged me to stop for ice cream. I told him that it wasn't safe to be out in Central Park, or really anywhere in New York, at night but he just kept begging me. I finally got sick of hearing him beg and we stopped for ice cream. I never even heard the man behind us that had been trailing us all day, he knew that we were Lightwoods and was hoping to get some money off of us. I didn't hear the shot until Max hit the ground, when I realized what had happened he was already dying. I called 911 but he had been losing blood fast, it stained my clothes and made the ground wet and sticky with it. He told me that he loved me and that he would see me again one day and the light went out of his eyes. He had died and I had been the one that was left holding his dead body, my little brother who had only been nine at the time. He would have been fifteen now and I wish every day that I had seen the man or that I had thought to bring our bodyguard Hodge with us. Apparently the cops finally showed up and my parents took time out from their busy night of fighting to come and see what had happened to their son, I was told this all later on, I went into shock and had to be hospitalized for two weeks. I was let out just in time to watch them lower my brother's body down into the ground and cover it with dirt. Everyone said that they didn't blame me but deep down I think that they all do, even Isabelle and Jace do if they let themselves admit it."
When I had finished my cheeks were wet with tears the way they always were when I thought about what had happened to Max. Magnus was still sitting beside me but he was silent, for once in his life the Magnificent Magnus Bane had no clue what to say. A minute passed and then another before he finally said something again.
"It wasn't your fault Alec." I was shocked. Usually what people said when I told them that or when someone brought it up was 'I'm sorry that happened' or some shit like that, Magnus didn't say any of that he just told me that it wasn't my fault. No one not even my siblings or parents had thought to tell me that it wasn't my fault that there was nothing that I could have done to stop the man, that there wasn't any way to save Max from the bullet that ended his life.
I didn't know what to say to him after that, so I didn't say anything. Instead I did something that I would have never thought that I would have ever had the courage to do.
I kissed him.
It wasn't like the first time we kissed, there wasn't any sort of alcohol involved in this and it was sweet and lingering instead of hot and fast. Neither one of us tried to take it any further than what it was, a simple kiss, just two pairs of lips moving in sync, and when we broke apart I knew I looked more than a little crazy with a huge goofy smile on my face.
When we finally got up off of the bench and started walking back towards the car I still had the same stupid smile on my face and when he reached out and linked my fingers with his it grew impossibly wider. The little voice that said that this was a bad idea that always stopped me from doing anything like this had stopped screaming, or I had learned to ignore it. I wasn't concerned about the fact that we were in public or that I was holding hands with another guy. I was just happy and happy was something that I hadn't really been in a long time.

That was really stupid and I'm sorry for making that completely ridiculous but there that chapters done and maybe now I can get on to something that I can actually write without wanting to throw up all over my laptop screen. I know that it was really bad and more than a bit sappy but I don't usually write romance like this but it seemed like it would fit into the story and they had to kiss again sometime… right. Well maybe not like that. See when I'm conflicted about my writing then I know it's not good, well just try not to puke or die from the terrible writing.
Kisses, Sarah.
P.S I promise the next chapter will be a lot better. 3