4. the day I lost you
A/N: Because I like pain. A quick angsty drabble, mostly to prepare myself for my inevitable death in 5x15.
The ring felt like it was burning through her skin as she twisted it around her finger. But that was nothing compared to the hot tears streaming down her cheeks. If she didn't know any better, she could have sworn they were carving scars on her face, eternal reminders of this dreadful moment. As if she could ever forget it. As if she wouldn't remember losing him for the rest of her life.
Surely she should have been used to it by now. Losing a loved one was not a foreign feeling to her. She had felt it more times than she could bear to count. She knew her heart was not beating, thanks to Hades, but the ache in her chest felt physical enough to entirely replace it. Of what use was it to her anyway, if there was no more light to shine upon it?
Her feet were still moving, taking her further away from the well and her other half, although she did not know how. They felt heavy and unwilling, and she had no clear direction in mind. Because where are you supposed to go when you've just lost everything you called home?
She had finally let him in, had allowed him to peak through the cracks of her walls until they finally crumbled without her even noticing. It was the time after that which had simultaneously been the most beautiful and the most terrifying. She had accepted love into her life, and it had been wonderful and horrible and everything she never knew she needed and everything she had been terrified of for so long. And rightfully so. Because despite the fact that love had brought her hope and happiness, it had also brought her the kind of pain she wasn't sure she could survive. The worst thing that could have happened actually did.
She had to let him go.
This time without any loopholes. No more fighting for their future. Because that future would end as soon as he walked into the light with his brother by his side. And she felt selfish for not wanting him to go. He had suffered enough, often because of her, and he deserved to rest. She should be happy for him. She should be happy that he made his own choice, that he had made the decision to move on to a better place.
She couldn't take that away from him.
But when she forced herself to imagine a world without him in it, she felt as though the last remaining spark of life had been ripped from her body. What a miserable world that would be.
Was she still walking?
No. She'd stopped in front of their house. Her feet had brought her there on their own accord. As if fate, cruel as it was, wanted her to see exactly what she would be losing today.
She wanted to run. But her legs had given up on her, and she sunk straight to the ground.
She wanted to scream. Nothing but muffled sobs, until she could barely breath.
She wanted to feel the warmth of his presence. Only the cold air welcomed her in its embrace.
She loved him. She always would. This was her, on her knees in front of her lost future, whispering her goodbyes into the merciless darkness of the blood red sky.