Where were you when the world stopped turning

Chapter 4

Dean couldn't stop the flow of bile past his lips, as he heard the words the firefighter told his father. There is nothing left of the passengers to pull out. Sam was well and truly gone. Tears filled liquid on him. Dean felt like his heart was physically breaking inside his chest. He thought he had hurt when his mother died, that didn't compare to how he felt now. The pain was a thousand times worse than what Dean remembered. What made it even worse was knowing that he hadn't been able to save Sam from his fate, in fact Dean had practically dared him to leave, and had promised to hate him for as long as he was gone. That had not been fair to Sam. Closing his eyes, Dean tried to breathe through the agony tearing through him. He had told Sam that Sam was dead to him. How could he have done that? It wasn't fair to Sam, and it had been downright cruel of Dean to have said it. Dean didn't like the person that he was at the moment. He had pushed away the most important person to him, and in the next moment that person was gone forever.

"Sammy," Dean gasped, one hand raised and clutching at his chest. He wanted to scream, or get drunk find some way to get rid of the pain that he was feeling. "You can't be gone! You have to be here somewhere!" Dean felt his fathers hand on his back.

"He's gone Dean," John said numbly as if not believing the news himself. His youngest child was gone, it was hard to believe. When John had heard the news on the TV about the plane crashing into the Twin Towers, John hadn't really believed that Sam had been on that plane. But knowing that no survivors would be coming forth, hurt John in a way that Mary's death never had. Staring out at the devastation around them, John wondered what kind of evil had been responsible for this. Was it of the supernatural kind or just plain human evil. It made him to think that one man could be capable of planning something that could take so many innocent lives. It wasn't fair, but then nothing in John's life had ever been fair, if it had been Mary never would have died and neither would Sam, at least until their natural time on earth was over. There was nothing natural about dying at 18 years of age, John wondered how the other victims families would recover from this. He wasn't sure that he could. He was like Dean, he wanted to scream hoping that his youngest could hear him and come back. Sadly, John didn't have a voice that would reach beyond the living.

"It's not fair" Dean told his father, unable to look away from the carnage. "It's my fault that Sam was on that plane. If I haven't been such a dick maybe he wouldn't have gotten on, maybe he would have waited until a later date or something."

"It's too late to play what if now." John said "Sam's gone and he will never return. Let's go, I don't think we can do any good here." Dean swallowed hard, struggling to understand what he was seeing. How could someone be so evil to cause this much destruction. Dean didn't think that he would ever understand it. He didn't want to understand he just wanted his little brother back. He wanted to take back the words that had driven Sam away. Dean would forever regret saying those words, more than Sam would ever possibly know. Dean didn't want to leave, he wanted to bring what little there was left of Sam back to bury. But he knew that wouldn't happen, because the only thing left of the passengers was ash. Tears filled Dean's eyes at the thought of how scared Sam probably had been when he had realized that the plane had been taken over. Dean wondered if Sam had uttered an exorcism in the hopes that it would expel the evil on that plane.

"Sammy, I will forever regret not coming for you." Dean muttered as he turned away and followed his father away from the carnage. How was Dean supposed to continue hunting without his little brother, Dean had no desire to continue doing the job he had been trained to do since he was a child. He wanted nothing more than to find a place to be with his brother again, he had always needed Sam, and Dean had thought Sam had needed him. But it turned out that Sam didn't need anybody when he walked out the door.

"Come on Dean, it's best that we get on the road, I think maybe we will take a trip to Bobby's and lay low for a little while." John said as they reached the car.

"Doesn't feel right leaving Sam here." Dean muttered as he opened the door and slid into the passenger seat.

"You know as well as I do that Sam isn't really here anymore, not if what that firefighter said is true." John said upon getting in on the driver's side.

"It just doesn't really feel like he's truly gone." Dean said "It seems like if he was really gone I would feel it."

"I know"John admitted looking out of the windshield at the carnage in front of them. "It just hasn't really sunk in yet, that's why it doesn't feel like he is gone. Give it time, it will sink in." John knew he would have to be there for Dean when it did. Because he knew how hard Dean would take it. Sam had been his life, and now that Sam was gone. Dean wouldn't feel like he had much purpose. John wondered if he would even have time himself to grieve for what he had lost. Dean was right though, it didn't feel like Sammy was really gone. John didn't think it ever feel like his youngest child was gone.

"Sam!" Jacob yelled after watching his young friend disappear underneath a cloud of smoke and debris. Jacob had only just met the young man a few hours ago, but he already liked him. There was just something about the kid, something that told Jacob that Sam was lonely and he was hurting. Jacob knew that Sam had needed a friend and Jacob wanted to be that. He knew there was something that Sam wasn't telling him about his past, but he figured Sam would when he was good and ready.

Clearing his thoughts, Jacob heads towards the place he had seen Sam fall. He wouldn't leave Sam here, the kid's family deserved a body to bury if Sam died. He hoped the kid was still with them, but he wasn't sure how it would be possible. Jacob had seen the steel beam falling and if Sam was trapped underneath it. It would take some time to get him out of it.

"Sir, please step back" A firefighter says as he gently shoves Jacob away from the site.

"My friend is trapped in there. I need to get him out." Jacob protests knowing that it wouldn't do any good. They needed him out of the way so that they could get to the other people who were also trapped.

"If he is still alive, we will get to him but right now we have other people that need help too." The firefighter told him, Jacob frowned. He couldn't leave Sam here, they might never find him, besides, Sam had saved Jacob's life, he had to find Sam whether or not he was still alive was another story. He prayed that his friend was still here and could give them a sign somehow of where he was stuck.

"Hang on Sam, helps coming" Jacob muttered, still not believing that a plane had hit the building he had spent much of his life working. No one ever expected such a huge act of violence against the city they called home.

Sam lay barely conscious underneath the steel beam that held him pinned. He had long since lost feeling in his lower back, that made concerned that the beam had caused more injuries than he had expected. He prayed that someone found him quickly, he was scared and wanted his family, knowing that they had no way of knowing about his current situation. After what Dean had told him, he highly doubted that they would even care about the mess he had found himself in.

Sam moaned softly as he tried to shift into another position so that he could try and assess his own injuries. From what he could tell, he likely had a broken back, and that was if he was lucky, he felt like his legs had been crushed and he could no longer feel them, that could also be because of a back injury that Sam did not want to think about. His world would be over if he was paralyzed he would no longer be able to care for himself, and that was what bothered Sam the most, the loss of his independence. Shifting again, Sam stifled his cry of pain, his arm was most certainly broken along with a few ribs.

"Hang on Sammy, help's coming! Just stay strong, don't give up on me." Sam heard his older brother's voice clear as a bell. "I'll kick your ass if you even think about giving up on me."

"Dean, I can't hold on. It hurts so bad" Sam cried unable to stop the tears in his eyes. "I need you, I can't hang on, it hurts too much."
"You stay with me Sammy, You hear me!" Dean's voice demanded "Help is coming for you. So don't you dare give up now! Little brother, you are going to get through this alive, so keep fighting for me! I will find you."

SO I thought that was a good place to stop. No Dean isn't really there with Sam, but Sam is imagining that he is. Dean is the reason Sam keeps fighting. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Liz