"I can feel my enemies begin to feel my drum,
I am ready when it comes to pain, I'm numb,
I could tell you think you've won't believe I've done,
I kill to feel alive..."
GOMD Remix – Sickick
I do not own Hellsing. Please leave reviews!
Trigger warnings: abuse, smut, profanity, guns
It's been two weeks since he invited me to talk about "us".
For two weeks, I have not stepped out of my room to do anything other than the essentials. I asked Seras to bring me some books or something to do while I'm in my room. I stay in bed, usually reading, writing, or playing chess with Walter (whom I have yet to beat). The dark aura comes every other day but I automatically ignore it.
Today, Seras decided to come into the room and play chess with me. She sits on the bed and I pull out the pieces, setting them up for each side. I decided to use the black pieces while she uses the white ones. Suddenly, the expression on her face goes from happy to concerned. "What's wrong, Seras?" I ask while arranging the pieces on the board.
"Did my master upset you?" Seras asks softly while looking down at her feet. "He really didn't mean any harm to you. It's just hard for him to show affection the same way humans do."
I look down into my hands while she's talking to me. "It's okay, really." I mumble back to her.
"Well I think you should give him a ch— "
"That's none of your business, pitiful ass, fake dead ass Draculina!" I yell at her before she is able to finish her sentence. "I didn't ask you what the fuck you think!"
Seras looks mortified. Tears filled up in her eyes while she got up from the bed. I was so angry that I didn't even care. I watched her walk out of the room while sniffling. She mumbles, "I just wanted my master to be happy." I roll my eyes as she walks out of the door.
What about MY happiness? Is no one concerned about the "lowly" human?
Another week has passed by. It's officially June. I look at the clock on the nightstand and it's 7:00 a.m. I hate myself for being awake so early. I get ready for the day as usual and began to walk downstairs, but stopped as I saw some luggage in the doorway. Walter is walking around with a list, going around to make sure everything is done. Sir Integra walks down the hallway, and she is dressed in a black pant suit, with a red tie and red handkerchief tucked inside of the pocket. She even changed her glasses from the usual silver rimmed ones to now the gold ones. Wherever she's going, it's really important.
"You are ready for departure, my Lord.", Walter says after finishing everything off of his checklist. "The flight for Japan departs at approximately 16:00 (4:00 P.M). It is a 12-hour flight from here to Kyoto." Sir Integra pulls out a cigar and places it in her mouth as Walter continues giving her the day's itinerary.
"You will be staying at the Royal Park Hotel in Kyoto. Will you be able to handle things by yourself, my Lord?" Walter asks as he covers his left hand over his chest and bows to Sir Integra.
Sir Integra smirks with the cigar still her mouth. "I appreciate your concern, Walter. I will be fine. After all, I am the head of the Hellsing Organization. If monsters do not scare me, what makes you think another human does?"
Walter stands completely straight, while smirking at his master. "Of course, I would not doubt that, my Lord. The taxi is almost here."
I stood at the beginning of the staircase, overhearing their conversation. My face was so mortified, I stood there completely frozen as I watched Sir Integra walk out of the door, and to her taxi, with Walter carrying her bags. Only one thought went through my mind as I watched them.
She's really going to leave me. Alone. With him.
Of course, Sir Integra had to be "cautious" and arranged the meeting for her and Madam Emiko to be at a local café instead of the Tesaki Manor, as originally planned. She even decided changed the time, from the evening to the afternoon. Anything to re-iterate that she is the one calling the shots.
She walks to the café, which was about two blocks from the hotel. Wearing an off-white pants suit with a lavender tie and matching handkerchief tucked in the front suit pocket, she reaches her destination 30 minutes early. Sir Integra walks inside the café to order some tea, and picks out a spot outside on the patio to sit. The waiter brings out the tea, and Sir Integra takes a small sip while waiting.
On the other hand, Madam Emiko was running a bit late, but still kept calm as she looked at her pocket watch. After all, today she finally got to meet the infamous Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, so she wanted to make a grand entrance. Madam Emiko was wearing a short, tight and sleeveless lavender dress, with a matching suit jacket draped over her shoulders, to make her look professional. Her long black hair was in a bun, and she wore matching lavender open-toed heels. Madam Emiko was also quite short, but her commanding presence made up for her height. She finally arrived at the café, and walked inside to order a small cup of coffee. She walked outside on the patio and finally saw Sir Integra sitting by herself at a table.
Madam Emiko sat in the chair across Sir Integra, crossing her legs and folding her arms. Sir Integra, who's been sitting at the same spot for 15 minutes, stares at the young woman in the lavender dress. The waiter brings out Madam Emiko's coffee, which helps ease some of the tension as she makes small talk with the waiter before he leaves.
"Do they not say 'hello' in the United Kingdom?" Madam Emiko finally says, smirking before sipping her coffee. "Wow, the Brits are really rude." She says after taking a long sip of the warm coffee.
Sir Integra continues to stare at the young woman for five minutes. She takes another sip of her tea and then puts the cup back on the table, folding her arms inside of one another.
"How did you even know about me? How did you find out about Hellsing? Who is putting you up to this?" Sir Integra wanted to get straight to the point. "Also, I need to know why you contacted me?" She says, while taking out a cigar and lighting it, puffing the butt of the cigar as it burns.
"Why so many questions?" Madam Emiko interjects, with a soft chuckle. "I thought we were having coffee together. If I wanted to be interrogated, I would have gone to the police."
Sir Integra stares into Madam Emiko's eyes, watching her every move. For the first time, Sir Integra was at a loss of words. She puts both elbows on the table, folding her hands into one another, and is speechless for three entire minutes. Madam Emiko smirks, knowing she has the upper hand.
"So, what do you want from me?" Sir Integra says in a serious tone while puffing the cigar. Madam Emiko chuckles, pushing her glasses up on her face and leans in towards Sir Integra.
"It's quite simple, really. I want you." She whispers, inches from Sir Integra's face.
Sir Integra's cheeks blush with a bright red color. She keeps her cool, pretending not to be completely impressed by Madam Emiko's persistence. "Who is this woman?" Sir Integra thinks to herself.
After 20 more minutes of talking, Sir Integra and Madam Emiko leave the cafe. Kendra, the Tesaki family's butler, was awaiting them in the matte black Camaro. Kendra gets out the driver seat and walks around to the back door to let both Madam Emiko and Sir Integra into the vehicle.
"I'm sorry to inform you, but this business does not call for romance. I've seen and witnessed too many things to believe in a such silly thing.", Sir Integra states after they've settled down in the backseats of the car. She takes out a cigar and places it in her mouth, and before she could find a lighter, Madam Emiko pulls Sir Integra's tie towards her, which forces Sir Integra to move in closer.
"And you think I haven't witnessed those same things, Integra?" Madam Emiko retorts, smirking while staring into Sir Integra's light blue eyes. She brushes some stray hair off of Sir Integra's face.
Sir Integra pauses again and blushes, which meant another checkmate for Madam Emiko. They both stare at each other as time passes by in the car. The car suddenly stops in front of the hotel, which causes both of them to jerk forward a little, easing the tension between them. Kendra gets out of the car to open the car door for Sir Integra. Before Sir Integra leaves, Madam Emiko grabs her hand and kisses it softly.
"I hope we will spend more time together while you're here. I'm intrigued, Integra." Madam Emiko says in a whisper. Sir Integra nods and quickly gets out of the car and walks into the hotel while blushing.
"This woman is going to drive me completely insane." Sir Integra mumbles to herself. "Is this what…infatuation with another human feels like?"
Am I really doing this?
I took the first step down, my heart started pounding again, my hands began to sweat. My anxiety was through the roof. I pace myself, trying to encourage myself to continue walking. After about three more steps, I sit on the stairs, with my hand over my heart, counting to ten in my head while breathing slowly.
If you go, you will find out what you want to know. Keep going.
I get up and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I continue walking down the stairs, reaching the big brown door, just like in my dream. I place my hands on the door, and push it open, which is extremely difficult. I struggle to get the door open. Once it is open, I walk through it and the door closes back immediately and makes a loud slamming sound. I looked around the room, and saw the chair, but he wasn't sitting in it. The table near his chair had a half-filled glass of red wine and the bottle next to it. Behind the chair was a huge black coffin that was closed. I wanted to look around for him but my body couldn't move.
The room was so quiet, and yet all I could hear was my heartbeat. It didn't feel like a panic attack, it felt like excitement? I had no idea what was going on, but I just froze in the middle of the room.
"Quite delightful." The deep voice mumbled in a low tone that echoed the entire room.