16. deep dark water

Prompt: ''I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.''

A/N: 4x15 canon divergence. I'm only a little bit sorry.

''Sorry sweetheart. Your boyfriend is shark bait.''

Ursula's words echoed through her head and she gripped the steering wheel tighter, her knuckles turning white. She rounded a corner, the wheels of the truck producing a harsh, squealing sound on the asphalt. To hell with the speed limit. Even if the sheriff's station hadn't practically been a family business, she still wouldn't have given a damn.

Emma refused to believe the sea witch. Her skeptical nature stubbornly rejected accepting those gut-wrenching words as truth without seeing proof. Oddly enough, it was also the hopeful part of her that fought against the statement. There was no way he was gone. Nevertheless, the fury that had awakened inside of her after Ursula's announcement had enabled her to swiftly defeat the villain.

She shouldn't have let him face her on his own. He had a knack for almost getting himself killed, despite constantly boasting about his status as a survivor.

Then again, he'd seemed so convinced he could return Ursula's happy ending, and the situation was getting desperate, and... who was she kidding? She'd never forgive herself if anything had happened to him. She felt guilty and she was worried and the closer she got to the harbor, the more her stomach cramped with fear.

The truck came to a screeching halt. She jumped out, slamming the door shut with an excessive amount of force. And it was a good thing she did, because it alerted someone of her presence. She was heading straight for the water, but was quickly interrupted by a woman's voice shouting from somewhere to her left. Emma's head whipped around, searching for the source of the call.

Her jaw dropped at the sight of the Jolly Roger. It was gently swaying on the waves, as if it had always been there. Dumbfounded, she temporarily forgot about her reason for looking that way.

''Hello?'' The unknown voice called out again. ''Can you help me? Someone almost drowned!'' She could now see the woman on board of the ship, whom she immediately recognized as Ariel. Obviously she didn't know Emma, because the only time Emma had seen her at all was through mirror magic.

But none of that mattered right now. That someone she was talking about, that had to be Killian. She just knew it. She took off sprinting and was on board in no time, her wide tearful eyes focused on Ariel.

''Come, he's below deck.'' She followed the mermaid down the stairs to the captain's quarters. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw that it was him lying on the bed.

''Killian!'' She rushed to his side and started shaking his body in a desperate attempt to get him to move. ''Killian, wake up!''

''You know him?'' Emma vaguely heard the question from behind her, barely aware enough of her surroundings to answer it.

''Yes, he's- he's my boyfriend.'' She stumbled over her words, because in this very moment, the fact hit her that that word wasn't nearly enough to express everything he was to her. Her unwavering support system. Her best friend. Her continuous believer. He was more.

With fumbling hands and a shaky voice, she called 911 for an ambulance. Her gaze didn't leave his motionless body for a second. Ariel offered to go above deck to guide the paramedics when they would arrive, a suggestion Emma gladly accepted.

She was alone with him now. The sounds of waves lapping against the ship and his shallow, labored breaths were multiplied by tenfold in her ears. Her own breath hitched in her throat every time his didn't follow a steady rhythm. The overwhelming fear was about to engulf her entirely.

''Killian! Killian, please!'' she begged with trembling lips, tears rolling down her face and falling onto his collar. ''No. Don't do this.''

Her left palm was on his cheek, caressing it softly, her touch fluttering as if she was afraid it could worsen his current state. Her left hand was pressed against his chest, right there at the spot where his heart was. She had to keep feeling it. The beats had to continue. She couldn't lose him.

''I think-'' She didn't know how to keep him here with her. She didn't know how to save him. She didn't know if she'd ever see the ocean blue of his eyes again. Her chest tightened at the thought, and she lay her head on his torso, sobs wrecking her body. Desperation and panic drowned her slowly and cruelly, and she knew he wouldn't hear her, but she also knew she had to say it.

''I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.'' The words came out in an almost inaudible whisper, more than once interrupted by sniffles and whimpers, almost as if her body wasn't prepared for such a confession.

''Please, come back to me.''

—

He did.

When he greeted her with a strained smile upon waking up in a hospital bed, she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, both to hold him close and to avoid his inevitable ''I'm a survivor'' speech.

She was still too afraid to tell him how she felt. What they shared was too good, too blissful to be true. It was as if somehow saying it would make it real, and change everything. She couldn't take that risk.

—

She wouldn't say the four letter word again until later, after he had told her she was his happy ending, after she had seen him die in an alternate universe, during a moment when she didn't think she'd ever see him again.

''Emma! Emma, please! No. Don't do this.''

''I love you.''