Thievery in the tower

(Christmas part 1)

"Da da da, da da da, da da doo…"

I grin to myself as I slip through the vents of Avengers Tower, sneaking around in a manner that usually wasn't my style.

But I had a mission.

And it was just after 5:30 in the morning, and there was only one morning person in this tower and even he wasn't up yet.

I continue humming quietly to myself as I crawl along, pausing as I reach the grate I was looking for, leaning down to peer through the vent cover slats. I nod to myself, satisfied, as I reach up to unlatch the vent cover.

I hold my breath as it swings open with a creak, swinging my legs into the new open and waiting for everything to settle again before I push off and drop onto the hardwood floors.

My sock-covered feet hit the wood with a soft slap, and I freeze in the middle of the darkened room, listening for any sound of movement.

There is none, so I straighten up again and silently pad over to the only other person in the room: the figure sleeping soundly on the bed.

I smirk at the peaceful, resting state of the other person, reflecting that in a few short moments he will no longer be so peaceful.

I roll up the right sleeve of my black sweater, revealing the slightly metallic glow of my right arm, lustrous even in the dark.

I use my left hand to grab my own wrist and tip my head so that my cheek was resting against my right shoulder. "Detachment Code," I whisper, "Tango-Mike-Sierra-Nine-Nine."

There's a light hiss coming from my right shoulder, like air escaping a balloon, followed by a few soft clicks and then my right arm is no longer attached to my body, being held only by my left hand.

I ever so carefully position my detached arm over the face of the sleeping figure, a slightly evil smirk growing on my face as I adjust the fingers to mimic grabbing their face.

And then I step back, a crooked smile blossoming as I admire my handiwork. And then I sigh.

As much as this was a beautiful sight, I had to move on. I pull another object from my sweater pocket, adjusting my non-dominant left-handed grip before I squeeze it and it lets out an unholy squeal.

"AHHH!" The figure on the bed is suddenly awake with a girlish scream, clawing at my arm as he rolls off the bed and hits the floor with a loud thud.

I, too, hit the ground, but out of debilitating laughter rather than fear. "You should've…seen…your face…oh god….bwhahahaaa…."

There's footsteps outside, and suddenly the room is filled with light.

"What's going on?" A voice – Steve – demands. "We heard screaming. Tony, why are you on the ground with…Taylor's arm? And – why is Taylor dressed like she's in a spy movie?"

This just sends me into a round of fresh laughter as my dad gets up from the other side of the bed and tosses me my metal arm. "Really funny, Taylor. I love being woken up with detached limbs clawing at my face."

I just wordlessly reattach my arm as my giggles finally begin to subside.

"What?" Steve is even more confused now.

"Just a prank, Capsicle." my dad explains wearily. "You can go back to sleep."

"Oh, no you don't!" I jump to my feet. "It's Christmas!"

My dad groans. "You're eighteen, for Pete's sake! Shouldn't you have grown out of this by now?"

"Nope!" I decide cheerfully, marching over to grab my dad's arm and tug on it. "Please?"

He glances at me and sighs. "Fine. Well, it looks like none of us are going to sleep. Steve, will you-?"

"Breakfast." Steve nods. "Blueberry downstairs pancakes in fifteen."

He leaves the room, causing everyone else to sleepily follow, save for Clint – who just looked extremely confused.

It takes me a second to put all the pieces together – my boyfriend was deaf.

Wow, genius, took you long enough! a little voice mocks.

I mentally shush it and make sure I'm facing the archer dead on. Good morning, I sign. Sorry about waking you up.

No problem, he replies. Did you get it on tape?

You bet I did. I smirk. J-a-r-v-i-s, actually.

He grins. So what's all the excitement about?

It's Christmas! I bounce, somehow conveying my enthusiasm in silence. I laugh at Clint's surprised expression. Breakfast downstairs. Go get your ears on.

He scrunches his face at me, but I just laugh and shoo him out of the room and follow behind him.

Once I reach my own floor, I jump through a quick shower and get dressed in a red sweater with a cute little cartoon reindeer and a pair of MIT sweatpants before heading downstairs, following the scent of pancakes.

I walk into the kitchen to be greeted by a warm sight: all of the Avengers relaxed for once, coffee flowing freely as Steve mass-produces pancakes.

"Good morning," Clint chirps cheerfully as he leans in to give me a chaste kiss. "Again."

"Morning." I grin at him as I walk over and grab a plate of Steve's blueberry pancakes, mine topped with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. I take a seat at the bar/island next to Natasha, who is sporting a black sweater with white detailing and a big white snowflake.

"Thanks for the rude awakening," she comments dryly.

"I've been doing that forever!" I defend. "You aren't used to it by now?"

"You know, 364 days of the year, you're normal." she remarks. "Today, however…"

"Not 364," Clint corrects. "July 12th is abnormal too."

"And I'm never normal to begin with," I shrug, my dad nodding from where he was leaning against the counter, raising his mug in a silent agreement.

They nod and I turn back to my breakfast, inhaling pancakes as fast as I could without choking.

Jarvis speaksup about halfway through breakfast. "Ma'am, the gifts you requested have arrived downstairs. What would you like me to do with them?"

I grin, the rest of my teammates all giving me confused looks. "Send them up, J. Do they have all the stuff?"

"Yes, ma'am. They are on their way up right now."

I nod and hum happily.

"That was incredibly vague," my dad announces suspiciously. "Anything I should know about?"

"No." I deadpan.

"Have you been ordering explosives again? I we agreed you'd stop."

"It was one time!" I whine. "That was a phase! And I-"

The ding of the elevator cuts me off, and suddenly four familiar voices fill the room.

"Quit touching my bow, I swear-"

"I wasn't touching your bow, we've already discussed this-"

"Stop it, both of you,before I-"

I watch Bruce, Steve and Thor's faces light up as Jane, Betty, and Bucky walk into the room, Jane and Bucky bickering and Betty looking annoyed. Jane was wearing a red gift bow in her hair while Betty had a green ribbon tied in a bow around her wrist and Bucky was sporting a blue bandanna tied around the shoulder of his bionic arm.

I clear my throat. "Hey guys…guys!"

They all freeze and look over at me. "Oh."

I snort and lean back as Bruce, Thor, and Steve rush past me to enthusiastically greet their respective girlfriends/Bucky.

"Lady Jane!" Thor booms as he wraps his girlfriend in a bear hug. "I was not expecting your arrival."

Steve and Bruce echo him, all their companions staying silent and staring at me.

"What?" I defend against nine pairs of curious eyes. "I didn't do anything!"

Clint just raises an eyebrow and gives me that look that says I love you but we both know you suck at lying.

"Fine." I huff. "I might have invited Bucky, Jane, and Betty here as Christmas presents for their boyfriends."

Clint beams at me, ignoring Bucky and Steve's cries of "We're not dating!" as he presses a warm kiss to my temple. I can also see my dad looking at me with a mixture of pride and I'm impresses you managed to slip this by me.

I graciously accept hugs from Bruce and Steve, ducking out of Thor's and opting to pat him on the arm instead because as much as I liked the big guy, I didn't feel like spending Christmas with broken ribs.

I glance around the room at everyone, searching until I see the Christmas tree that had been in the corner for the last month.

"Can we open presents now?"

So I'm putting out a series of Christmas one-shots, at most five.

HollyJollyRussianAssassin and I are kind of doing the same thing and I've read hers, you should go read it. Along with the rest of her work, it's all really good.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and if not happy December 25th!