Any Other World

DAY 1

CALLIOPE

She looked at how her daughter was sleeping and listened to the regular breathing of the toddler. When Callie looked at Sofia, she got worried. Worried about the future. Having a child meant that she was responsible for the little girl, who was sleeping so calm. It made Callie doubt. Making decisions was complicated enough on your own, let alone you dragged an innocent child into them. Right now, she had dragged Sofia away from her mommy. When she thought of it, she felt horrible. She tried to calm herself with the thought that Arizona hadn't helped raising Sofia the past few months, but still that feeling of guilt hadn't disappeared. Callie looked at the toddler, thinking the little girl had lost her father and she had taken her away from her mother. She placed a soft kiss on her daughters head, before she left the room.

Addison was sitting on the leather couch, thinking over the past few hours. She looked up when the Latina entered. Seeing Callie's bloodshot eyes made her doubt. She had grabbed Callie's hand and drove her to the airport, convinced that her friend had reached her limit. But maybe she had only made it worse. Arizona had almost driven Callie to madness, but maybe Addison was the one who had pushed over the line. Arizona had made Callie feel hopeless, angered her, but at least she didn't break her heart. And seeing the Latina, who was so hopelessly trying to keep herself together, made Addison doubt. She knew Callie and Arizona were a good couple. They would have found a way out. But to find a way out, Callie had to be there.
"Maybe I was wrong…" she said. It sounded horrible, but she couldn't think of a better way of saying it.
Callie looked at her. "Don't say that, Addison," she said. She didn't want to hear they both had no idea what to do. That they were wrong. That she had made a mistake.
Addison heard the supressed pain beneath the words. "I did what I would do if I were in your situation… but you aren't me."
Callie closed her eyes, in an attempt to stop her tears.
Addison looked at her friend and gave her a careful hug asking: "Should I call her? Tell her that I basically dragged you to L.A?"
Callie tried to dry her tears: "I walked out, Addie. You didn't have to force me… I wanted to get out… out of that mess that's supposed to be my life…But I still love her… I just want everything to turn back normal… It was perfect, so perfect before the plane crash and then, in a couple of seconds our lives were turned upside down… Suddenly I had to save her leg and Mark didn't even try to live on… And she… she… I love her, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear it any longer… I gave her all… I wish I could've given more…"

She listened to the sounds in the apartment. The soft buzz of an electrical device, the passing by of cars, the sound the baby monitor made… These were all familiar sounds, almost equal to those in Seattle. But listening to these familiar sounds didn't make Callie feel at home. All she could hear were the ones that were missing: the ambulances that often passed in the middle of the night and the sounds of her pager that sometimes followed after the siren, the soft rustling of the sheets when Arizona moved in her sleep, the door of Mark's apartment opening when he had an early morning shift and the sound the metal of his keys made when they ticked against the door when he closed it. But the sound Callie missed the most was the soft breathing of Arizona, that she used to listen to before falling asleep.
She sighed and turned around again in another attempt to sleep. She tried to find a comfortable way to sleep on the guest bed, but the cushion felt wrong, the sheets had another texture than the ones at home, there was too much light coming through the curtains and the curves in the mattress didn't fit her body. She moved over and over, trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. But no matter how many times she turned over, she couldn't fall asleep. Eventually she gave up the search for a comfortable position, knowing that even when she found it, her thoughts would remain restless.
One of them kept returning over and over again, mostly when she was very close to finally falling asleep, but when it crossed her mind, her heartbeat fastened. The seconds in the hallway kept coming back to her. Callie closed her eyes, trying to think of something else, but it didn't work. She saw herself pushing Arizona over and over again. How her wife smacked against the wall and how she carefully touched her nose, her fingertips red from the blood dripping out of her nose. Callie saw how she pushed Joanne, swearing things she had heard her mother and father yell at each other sometimes. The words Calliope Torres had once so despised, words she had promised herself never to say out loud, had passed her lips and filled the whole hallway. Callie still couldn't understand how she could have been that angry. So angry she had pushed the other woman several times, trying to reach Arizona, who would tell her to go away. When she saw the look Arizona was giving her, something within Callie had broken. A voice whispered to her she had made the mistake she always told herself not to make. The exact same mistake as her parents… During her teenage years Callie had looked at her parents' marriage with a slight taste of disgust. How they presented their selves as the perfect couple in front of their friends and how she and Aria were forced into a lie. A world of fake laughs and forced family photos. But when the eyes of others weren't around, the fake laughs would turn into endless discussions that mostly ended in angry Spanish swearing. When she heard her parents arguing, Callie went to her room and listened to her music. The volume was always loud on those days and Callie told herself she would never have that sort of relationship. But one day she arrived at home and she had seen her father pushing her mother. The look in her mother's eyes had been the same as Arizona's. She remembered the anger and disappointment she had felt. For some forms of violence you don't have to be injured, to be a victim.
She sighed and turned over again, trying to chase away her thoughts. Although she had always told herself not to act like her parents, Calliope Torres realised she started to slightly copy the behaviour of her parents. As the past few years flashed through her mind, she started to see more and more resemblances between her and her parents. She realised this wasn't the first time she had pushed Arizona. Only the previous times, her wife still had two legs and managed to keep her balance.
She turned over again, thinking Arizona handled with strong emotions by running away from them and for the first time, Callie didn't blame her for that. By running away, Arizona left something unharmed, so that when she returned, everything was still intact. Callie realised running away wasn't something for her. Instead she was the sort of person that ruined things in an desperate attempt to save them.
Callie listened to baby monitor and knew that she had to change. She only had no idea how to. The only thing she knew was that she didn't want Sofia to copy her behaviour, just like she had copied the behaviour of her parent's.

DAY 2

CALLIOPE

It didn't take much to wake up the black-haired woman sleeping on the guest bed of Addison Montgomery.
She opened her eyes to the sound of her daughter coughing. She watched the red light of the baby monitor flicker and listened carefully, but nothing else followed.
Callie had no idea what time it was, but the room was definitely more lit. She sighed, thinking that yesterday her life looked totally different. She slowly got out of the guest bed. She had a slight muscle pain and felt as though she hadn't slept at all. It was more of a constant restless thinking of what had happened. She sighed and got up, walked towards the kitchen and spent the next fifty minutes at searching plates and glasses in Addison's structured kitchen.

ADDISON

She opened her eyes when a plate hit the ground and the sound echoed through the whole apartment. It was followed by some Spanish words of which Addison guessed they weren't exactly friendly.
She turned over to her alarm clock and stared at the red numbers. It was 6.16 a.m. Addison Montgomery forced herself to get out of bed and walked into her kitchen.
"Morning," she said.

Callie, who was cleaning the pieces of the plate that were scattered across the floor, looked up: "I'm really sorry. I wanted to make breakfast and I dropped…"
Before she could finish her sentence, Addison said that it didn't matter and they both prepared breakfast.

"Did you sleep well?" Addison asked.

Callie shook her head and took a big breath: "I kept thinking of what happened in the hallway when you left…"

Addison turned around to see Callie standing somewhere between cupboard and table, holding two coffee mugs, seeming totally disorientated.
"Careful with the coffee mugs…!" Addison said quickly, seeing Callie's face, but the shards were already scattered across the floor. The sound made Callie look up again.

Addison looked at her and said: "I think it's better you sleep another four hours…"

Callie looked at her feet and said: "I pushed her."

Addison walked towards her and started picking up the shards: "She was pushing you too, Callie."

The Latina swallowed: "Not in the same way. She wanted to stop me from taking Sofia away from her. I wanted… to scare her. But instead I… I hurt her, pretty badly."
Addison who was sitting of a concentrated pile of green shards, stopped collecting shards and looked at her friend.

"There was blood running out of her nose, Addie," Callie sobbed.

The redhead had no idea what to say, so she walked towards her friend and muttered: "I think some sleep will do you good…"

When walked towards Callie and wanted to lead her back to the bed, the Latina knocked away her hand, causing the shards Addison was holding in her hands to fly across the room. "I HURT HER, ADDISON! I HURT HER…" she started crying so hysterically a clueless Addison thought it would never come to an end.

Eventually it ended. Callie was lying across the floor, half on Addison's legs. Every time she moved Addison was scared she would hit a shard, but the only thing Callie did was curling up into foetal position, muttering something incomprehensible. Addison answered softly and stroked her hair, until the crying had finally come to an end.

"You have to help me," was the first thing Addison understood after a series of meaningless murmur.

"I will, Callie. You know I will," she said, looking at her friends swollen face.

"You need to help me find a way how I should deal with my anger…"

Addison stared at her friend and answered: "Yes, I will help you, but first you have to sleep."

Callie stood up, dried her tears and looked at her friend: "I mean it. What happened in the hallway can never happen again…"

Addison nodded, trying to figure out a way to help Callie.

Thank you for reading this chapter. I know that the last part with Callie crying might be a bit unrealistic, but then again; Callie isn't good at being alone.

Next chapter will be about Arizona and how she handles the whole situation.