Chapter Forty-One
Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Leah and Trapper laughed at their conversation about the performance at the Symphony Hall. On her way to the deck, she twirled to look back at Trapper and beckoned him to follow her outside. "I can't believe it. I never thought I'd ever get to hear Luciano Pavarotti." Moving his arms around her waist, he watched her eyes, her smile, her exhilaration. "Can you believe it?" she said excitedly. "Six high Cs." Realizing he was watching her, she settled down and put her arms around his neck. "Thank you. Today was absolutely perfect."
With a chuckle, he said "You're welcome," on his way to a kiss. Looking back into her eyes, he smiled at first at her willingness to continue, but his smile was short lived. He knew this was too fast for her own good, even if she didn't. She didn't have far to go to kiss him back, and when she did, all signs of hesitation had disappeared. Her arms wrapped tightly around him as she brought herself up on her toes, her fingers tangling with the curls on the back of his head, and her kiss…he couldn't resist accepting and participating.
"I should be going," he whispered, giving her another quick kiss.
The disappointment in her eyes told him he would have to tread lightly. He couldn't deny to himself that he wanted her, but what he wanted didn't matter at this point.
"Why?" she asked, sounding almost like a little girl who couldn't understand.
Taking her hands from around his neck, he kissed them and held them against his chest. "Leah, I want you to listen carefully to what I have to say. You're caught up in the moment from a perfect day, a perfect evening, and now a perfect opportunity. Too perfect. Before I would ever think about taking advantage of the…perfectness…of the situation, I need to be absolutely sure that you aren't rushing into something you'll regret tomorrow."
She stepped back, no longer able to look him in the eye. "I've made a fool of myself, haven't I?" Trapper shook his head, but she continued. "I thought you…"
Moving a finger to her lips, he put a hand at the small of her back and drew her back into him, holding her firmly. "I do. I am. But we are not going to rush this considering where you've been. You simply need more time." She bowed her head, but he cupped her chin in his hand, bringing her face back up to his. "I'm not going anywhere." After kissing her tenderly one more time, he gathered his clothes and toiletry bag before opening the door. The way she was standing there where he'd left her, her shoulders wilting, her hands hanging limply at her sides, and the melancholy in her eyes, he had to fight the growing need within him to go back to her. "I'll call you tomorrow." She cast her eyes down, offering him a slight smile as she looked back up at him. Then he was gone.
She didn't move, thinking about what might have happened. How would she have felt afterwards? She couldn't answer that question. Perhaps he was right after all.
Trapper waited in his car for her apartment to darken before he pulled out of the parking space. He wasn't sorry for leaving her tonight. He knew she wasn't ready. Smiling, he realized this was the first time he had willingly gone home to a cold shower.