Castellanos bit his lip as he looked away from Joseph's reaction. "Joseph, I love you."

They were silence as Joseph blushed light pink. Joseph had no clue Castellanos had strong feelings as love, but he knew that they were more then just friends. They trudged through hell together in reality and in STEM. Joseph's blood pressure started to rise as he tried to think of a response. He couldn't and it stressed him out. They have been together as police partners for about seven years. He didn't want to hurt Castellanos' feelings for the fear of him leaving the unit. "Joseph?" Castellanos asked walking towards him. Joseph was brought out of his thoughts. "It's fine if you don't like me in that way."

"It's just…" Joseph raised his hand to his forehead. "I need time to process." Castellanos backed away.

"Sure." He felt awkward as shuffled toward the door. "I'm just going to let myself out. Ah, yeah." Castellanos whispered as he left the room. Joseph nodded as his bottom lip quivered.

Joseph headed home after sitting in his office for a good half an hour. He knew that a response to Castellanos' confession wouldn't come. Once Joseph was home, he tried his best to act normal as he spent time with his family. It was past ten as Joseph tried to come up with an answer. He decided to stayed up to reading a book to keep his mind off the subject, but his mind drifted off thinking about Castellanos' words. Joseph closed the book and sighed. He pushed the bed covers off and got out. Joseph looked over to his wife laying on the other side. He walked around the house. He first went over to Suzy's room and saw that she was sleeping with her little star lamp on. He walked over and turned off. He leaned down to kiss her cheek then he left the room. Joseph went to get himself a drink of water. He returned back to bed. As he did, his wife started to wake up. "Joseph, is there something wrong?" She asked as he pulled the covers over his legs.
"Oh, it's nothing. Go back to sleep Anna."

"You know if you think too much it's not good for you."

"I know." She stroked Joseph's arm.

"Get some sleep. You can think about it tomorrow when you're so tired." She pulling him into bed. Joseph laughed as he took his glasses off. He wrapped his arms around Anna and she did the same. "Night, Jojo." She said as Joseph kissed her forehead.

"Night sweetie." He closed his eyes for once that night he felt comfortable.

The sound of Joseph's alarm clock rang throughout the bedroom. Joseph slowly opened his eyes and turned over. Anna had already left for work. He noticed that he flung himself across the bed. The blanket was slumped to one side. Joseph rolled over and smacked the clock to turn it off. He yawed as he got out of bed. As he walked over to Suzy's room, he scratched his back, "Suzy time to wake up." He said placed his hand on Suzy's shoulder and she started to stir.

"What time is it?"

"7:00"

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes you do. You'll thank me when you are older." Joseph said pulling clothing out of her closet.

"Daddy, I can do that." She jumped out of her bed. "I want to dress myself."

"Okay. Okay. I'm going to get ready myself and I'll be downstairs with breakfast." Joseph said as he walked out of the room. He closed the door behind him. He shook his head as he gave a small smile. Suzy was growing-up fast. He sighed as he walked back to his bedroom.

Joseph walked Suzy to her school. "Have a good day at school, Suzy." He said as Suzy let go of her dad's hands.

"Bye dad." She waved as she ran to the entrance. As she was about to walk into the school her friends ran up to her. He watched as she disappeared inside with them.

Joseph walked back home to grab his bag and drove off to work.

When Joseph got to the station, he ducked into his office. He didn't want to face Castellanos at the moment. Joseph tried his best to concentrate. A few times, Joseph had to leave his office and Castellanos was around every corner. In the break room, Joseph stood away from Castellanos as he ate his lunch. Joseph noticed Castellanos was speaking to the other officers. He tried not to look at him, but it was difficult not to. Castellanos would look in Joseph's way but Joseph would turn away quickly from his glances.

It was almost the end of the day as Joseph was reading a file on the way back to his office. He looked up from the report as he feared Castellanos in his offices. His fears were realized. Castellanos' door was open and Joseph could see him sitting at his desk. "Joseph, I need to speak with you." Castellanos called out. Joseph had the urge to run and hid in his office. Joseph calmly walked down the hall to Castellanos' office. "Close the door." He said as Joseph did what he was asked to do. "Are you okay?" Castellanos asked as Joseph walked closer to the desk. "You have been avoiding me all day." Joseph didn't say anything and looking passed Castellanos. "If it's because of what I said yesterday. Joseph, I'm sorry. It's just I through it was in your best interest to know how I feel about you." Castellanos leaned back in the chair. They made eye contact.

"I've been thinking about a response." Joseph said breaking eye contact.

"And?"

"I got nowhere." Joseph said as he looked back at Castellanos. "Seb, I don't know. I really don't know. I'm married and I have a daughter. I conflicted with myself. It's just…"

"Just say it, Joseph. It's not going to hurt me anymore then you not talking to me." Castellanos crossed his arms.

"I been thinking about this for over ten years." Joseph said biting his lip. "I married Anna for a reason."

"What is that reason? Joseph, what do you mean?"

"That I can't love you. I can't truly love anyone. I love people differently."

"How? How do you love people differently?"

Joseph tried to think about the best way explain. "It's just… how do I put it. When regular people look at someone attractive, they want to be with that person, but I feel nothing." Castellanos tilted his head in confusion.

"I don't understand?"

"I don't feel attraction when I look at people." Joseph bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." Castellanos said disappointed.

"Seb, I can't love you." Joseph said, "Please."

"Fine, it's fine." Castellanos said getting up from his desk. "I just though you had the same feelings as I did. I was mistaken." He said leaning against his desk. "I'm selfish thinking I could take you for myself." He shook his head because he felt disgusted with himself.

"Sebastian, look. It's not like that. It's complicated." Joseph said

"No, Joseph it is fine. I'm sorry." Castellanos pushed papers out of the way. "You probably wanting a different police partner. I could make it look that you wanted to be closer to home instead of this weird blip." He crossed his arms and looked at Joseph.

"No. Sebastian. It's okay." Joseph said playing with the corner of file folder. He felt uncomfortable, but knew Castellanos had good intentions.

"Really?"

"Yes." Joseph said, "I don't want you to lose your best friend because of something we can't control. Why don't we start over again?" He knew this was the best decision to make.

Castellanos gave Joseph a heavy set of eyebrows. "Sure." He still looked hurt, but his expression lightened. Joseph gave Sebastian a reassuring smile.

"Yeah."

Joseph came home exhausted, but he stayed up late to think about what happened with him and Castellanos. Joseph sat in bed as Anna sleep next to him. He rolled over and pulled a private journal from his night stand. He flipped to a free page and found a pen. He began to write about what was happening so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Once he was finished, Joseph closed the book and placed it under the bed. He laid back and stared up at the ceiling. Joseph just wished everything would turn out fine in the end.

-Side note here- I hope you really like it. I have spent a good four months on this project. I have written over two hundred pages and I am willing to keep posting.