Author's Note: As promised, an update. But starting next week, the updates will be less frequent as I've gotten busy, and less motivated to write the last week. It will be updated as much as I can though, so sorry for the future inconveniences.
Thank you again for supporting this story of mine, and I appreciate everything everyone's given me so far.
ONWARDS WE GO.
I've Created Disaster
Vincent's POV
A wise man once told me,
'You don't choose to fall in love, you just do,' and
to my greatest misfortune,
I have found him to be quite accurate.
But that does not stop me from wishing for him to perish slowly and
painfully in Ifrit's fire.
I stood in there for what seemed like hours,
drowning in my own self-loathing as hesitant knocks sounded again and
pulled me away from my thoughts.
My brows furrowed, and I trudged my way slowly to unlatch the front door,
only to once again reveal the small kunoichi.
My curiosity peaked and I stepped aside,
inviting her into my not quite hospitable room.
Clouded by consciousness, no words were spoken and the vast calm nearly suffocated me.
Yuffie's eyes looked straight into me,
their grey hue bleeding into my soul, and I struggled to keep eye contact.
"What would you do if I left?"
Her bottom lip trembled,
and I couldn't fake the fact that I had been taken back by the sudden question.
The silence between us was morbid and dank as
I raked my mind for a suitable response but came up with none.
"I don't know. I really don't,"
I could tell that my reply was not what she wanted to hear as
I watched her eyes fall to the floor,
and I cringed as she dug her boot into the carpet
in a figure-eight-esque shape. As if to say infinite;
this feeling of guilt can be infinite.
"My mother told me to not give up on you, you know,"
she sat down on the sofa, her body stiff and uncomfortable.
"I had no intention of listening, and I still don't,
but a part of me is hoping that… maybe there is still a chance.
That maybe, if I keep fighting for you, if I keep showing you how much I care…
maybe, just maybe… you'll come around,"
she continued in such a quiet voice,
that if the place had not been in a complete standstill,
even I would have had a problem understanding her words.
I made the same mistakes,
in hopes of pushing away the aches and the pain of the past.
Words had been struggling amongst themselves within my mind,
and I began to question whether my decisions have been dignified.
Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing in this world
I wanted to do more than wrap my stone cold arms
around the young woman, to let her warmth penetrate my walls,
and let her imprint her soul into my own. And it hurts.
It breaks me apart.
Because what I want to say is not being said,
and is replaced by words and sentences formulated by
my fears,
my past,
and
my sick journey to repent for my sins.
My chest held steady, and I unplugged every emotion.
Kiss gracefulness goodbye, because I gave up before I even tried.
"There is nothing for us, Yuffie. There is no future for us,"
I had not said much, but it left me feeling drained and numb.
I let my eyes trace over the ninja once more,
memorizing the sudden increase of her breath, and the tint of her cheek,
matching my own crimson orbs. She sat dejected;
shoulders slouched and tears shamelessly flowing down her smooth cheeks.
"You're full of shit, Valentine," in a matter of seconds,
her sorrow turned into rage, and she stalked towards me,
words as her weapon, but only second to her little fists of iron.
"You know I'd wait for you, no matter how long it might fucking take.
You know I'd sit and mope and cry,
even though I'll continuously tell everyone else that
I'm okay and better off without you,
because we both know that I won't be!"
her fists pounded onto my chest, and though my body could take much of the pain,
I couldn't help but wince.
"You fill me up with your lies, telling me to just let it go,
but in doing so, it makes it harder for me to forget,
and I'll just hold on tighter," her breath was getting heavy,
and her tears were falling faster and she let her hands
cease their movements only to latch onto my shirt tightly.
Oh how the gods are testing my resolve to
stop this damsel from getting mixed into my turmoil,
to let her run as fast as she could when she still had the chance.
Empty I am,
and she could fill my void, if only I'd let her,
and we could live happily every after.
But who am I to believe that.
This is life and no one ever comes to see such a fortunate turn of events.
My steel heart still shines through.
"You deserve someone better than me.
Someone complete.
Someone without a past that will haunt both of you in the end.
This is my final decision," and that's the end.
Her fists clenched onto my shirt tighter for a moment,
before she released it altogether and backed away.
"You are a fool, Vincent Valentine.
A fool and a coward, who would rather
wallow in self-pity than let himself move on and be happy.
And I will be a fool right along side you,
because I will wait,
and trust that the Vincent I've gotten to know over the past
four years is somewhere in there.
The Vincent I joked around with,
the Vincent I traveled with,
the Vincent who let me in and let me stay without worrying about his past.
We almost made it, Valentine.
We were close but you… you are such a damn coward,"
she spat the last few words, and I swear if looks could kill,
I'd have keeled over on the spot and swallowed my last breath.
She left without another word,
and I let my mask shatter.
The apartment felt empty, my world felt empty.
The monster had lost his lady, and no one gave a damn,
because it was his own doing.
I wiped my tears off my cheeks before I even realized I'd been crying,
and it dawned on me.
I've created disaster.