A/N: Looks like I'll be able to update on schedule again! First of all, I'd like to send out my traditional thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. It's been fun to hear what you think as our story progresses, and I look forward to hearing more. With our heroes growing up, we'll be moving into the more adult aspects of their relationship... or such as it is with Fai still recovering from Yui's death. The M rating is looming on the foreseeable horizon, so please keep age appropriateness in mind if you are an underage reader and treasure your youth. Enjoy!

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Eight: Possessions

Kurogane hadn't expected everything to fall perfectly into place just because Fai had made the decision to live with him. The house was still incomplete and damaged, and so too was Fai himself. Though he seemed to take Kurogane's words to heart, he was still more withdrawn than he had ever been as a child, and spent a significant portion of his time sitting in front of Yui's portrait at the altar without saying a word. Kurogane would have felt more comfortable had he at least tried to speak out loud to the image of his brother, but Fai kept whatever he feelings he was still struggling with locked inside his heart, and Kurogane was left to watch over him from a distance.

With the house mostly habitable again, Kurogane had to spend most of his time back in the fields pulling out the damaged crops and helping to prepare the land to be planted again next season. Since both food and money were scarce due to the losses in the village and the fields, Yuuko rationed the stores at the Reed manor and came to visit the workers every day to make sure they were fed and watered after their work. Kurogane hated to admit it, but she was becoming surprisingly good-willed and humble for someone who had come to the village with such an imperious attitude.

A few months after Fai had returned to the village, Yuuko appeared with him in the fields to serve her daily lunch. While the rest of the men laid down their tools to take some bread from her basket, Fai slipped away to join Kurogane as he finished up his work.

"You shouldn't tramp through here," Kurogane said, wiping his forehead. "You'll get your feet all muddy."

"I'll clean them off before going back in the house." Fai swished his feet back and forth in the water that was supposed to irrigate the crops before they had been lost. "Looks like the water level is going down here, too. Will it be ready for the next planting season?"

"We don't have any other choice but to make it ready. Another failed season, and everyone will starve. The witch may have all her bags of money, but even that won't last forever."

"Well, then we'll just have to put our faith in Kuro-sama and everyone else, won't we?" Fai extended his hands, revealing a small wrapped container he had been holding. "This is for you. Thanks for your hard work."

"Hmmm." Kurogane opened it up and inhaled its contents. "Curry?"

"The village Ashura-oniisan is staying in was never flooded, so they still have plenty of food to go around. He brought me the ingredients when he delivered my clothing and things to the house, and I thought I would make you something nice. Here." He passed a pair of chopsticks to Kurogane.

Kurogane took a bite, lifting an eyebrow. "It's good."

"Not as good as what Yui would have done." Fai pursed his lips. "I felt so silly. The whole time I was making it, I kept on talking to the picture of him on the altar. Asking him how how much seasoning he would use, and how spicy you liked it. It was all on my own, but it really felt like I was having a conversation with him, and that the answers he was giving were the feelings welling up in my heart. And all of that went into what I made you, which I think is what would have made Yui the happiest."

Kurogane took a few more bites and licked his lips. "Not just that guy. Me too."

Fai's eyes widened, and a faint flush rose to his cheeks as a surprised smile slowly dawned on his face. Kurogane almost dropped his chopsticks as he watched the expression unveil itself, the beautiful smile it had been so long since he had seen.

"Oi," he said, freeing up one of his hands to gently buff Fai on the chin. "That's good, too. Better than frowning all the time, right?"

Fai laughed lightly, shaking his head. "You're one to talk. By the way, do you have a moment to return to the house after you eat? Yuuko-san wanted a word with us."

"If it's the witch, I can manage it. She's the one who owns these lands, after all. She won't get on me for missing a little bit of work."

After Kurogane had finished up his curry, he and Fai met up with Yuuko to walk back to house. Things were looking better since she had been there last, and the two of them now had a repaired table, a few chairs, and the beginnings of a bed. In his spare time, Fai was also working on painting the family altar, as well as dipping candles to set up with the portraits.

"I applaud you on your resourcefulness," Yuuko said, taking a seat. "I never imagined you would have this house fixed up so soon, especially since you were also busy repairing the fields. I see Fai-kun has done his part to pull his weight since coming."

"What do you think I did all day?" Fai retorted. "Sit around and stare at the walls?"

"Not at all. But I did wonder how you were occupying yourself, and what you will do when this house is completely put together again."

"I'm trying to get better at cooking."

"Yes, but that certainly wouldn't take up an entire day while Kurogane-kun is away working. If you keep up like this, you'll be bored enough to start farming yourself. That's why I want to make a bargain with you."

"Bargain?"

"I have been cleaning the Reed manor since it fell under my care, and I recently took stock of Clow's mother's possessions. You remember her, correct? She died only a few years ago."

"Of course."

"She had in her care quite the collection of kimono. All of them were made from exquisite fabrics and must have cost her a fortune over the years. I was tempted to take them myself or sell them, but Reed-san was... ah, a bit tall for a woman. Quite taller than me or any other woman I've ever met. But I'd imagine if someone undid the stitching and fitted the bolts of silk for a more reasonable size, quite a bit of money could be made in the sale."

Fai blinked, trying not to look too hopeful. "Are you... are you offering them to me?"

"That is what I would like to do. But the fact of the matter is that I just can't hand valuables of that quality over without demanding something in the way of compensation. Many of the families here are suffering, and it would look like favoritism if I simply gave this treasure trove to one person."

"So you're implying that you would expect all of the profits from selling them?"

"That would be unequal and unwise. If you put work into these garments, then balance demands that you reap the profits of that work. I could accept a portion of the profits as well, but that still would be unequal to the total worth of what I am giving you. The best solution would be for you to share a small portion of the profits with me, and also give me something you consider to be of great value to you in the initial exchange."

"But we don't have anything of equal value here anymore. You can't expect us to have enough after we lost nearly everything in the flood."

"I do not mean to suggest that you need to compensate me with something equal in monetary value. What I seek is something of equal emotional value to you. And there is one thing here that qualifies."

"Oi, you aren't going to take away the portrait, are you?" Kurogane asked, his eyes darting to the shrine.

"Do you really think I would reverse something Clow chose to do so quickly?" she asked softly. "Besides, that portrait is of little significance in comparison to the value Fai places on the memory of his brother. And that memory itself has more value than all of the silk in this world. What I am asking for is this." She extended a long finger and pointed to the cream silk still folded on the wardrobe.

"No," Fai said immediately. "That's asking too much."

"Is it? With that one piece of silk, you would only be able to sew one kimono and then you would be finished. Kurogane could perhaps buy you more silk in the future, but you must realize that the money he will earn will go to keeping both himself and you fed. Will you really give up your desire to make kimono for the sake of a single bolt of cloth?"

"Kuro-sama worked hard to buy this for me. It is a precious gift."

"A precious gift, hmm? And here I thought you had given up every hope for that future." She lifted up her hand in a gesture of peace. "Let me be clear of my intention. You will use that silk for the fabric of the first kimono you sew. Then, when the garment is finished, you will give the kimono to me. I will not sell it or misuse it. I will simply keep it for an important event in the future."

"I won't do it."

"Let me impress upon you again the number of kimono in that collection. If you do a quality job with the sewing, it will keep you occupied for well over a year. And with the money you earn, you will be able to afford new silks and even be able to support Kurogane-kun as he will support you. That sounds to me like exactly what you've wanted."

"But I-"

"Hey," Kurogane interrupted. "Let her have it."

"You... you want me to give it away?" Fai's hands trembled in his lap. "Just like that?"

"No. But I do want you to make something out of it rather than leaving it sitting there. And then after you're finished, I want you to make as many as will make you happy." He folded his arms across his chest. "Even if the witch has it for a few years, that's fine. I'll get it back without fail."

"Oh-ho, now that will be interesting," Yuuko laughed. "The great Kurogane negotiating with me for silk. What do you think, Fai?"

"I..." He turned to Kurogane. "You really will get it back?"

"No problem."

"Fine, then." Fai crossed the room and picked up the silk. "Is there a particular style you would like? Furisode? Komon?"

"Something formal, I think." She tapped her finger against her lips. "It seems to me the perfect color for a wedding. You could make something lovely out of it with that in mind."

"And the measurements?"

"I'll write them down for you."

"Is that settled, then?" Kurogane asked. "I really should be getting back."

"Of course." Fai bit his lip. "I'm sorry to be giving away your gift so soon, Kuro-sama."

"Don't worry about it. Just make something nice out if it, and it will have served its purpose for the time being."

"And the sooner you make it, the sooner you'll have access to the rest of the silk." Yuuko smiled slyly. "I have a feeling this will be profitable for you both. With both of you working towards a purpose, this new life of yours will well and truly begin."

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Kurogane wasn't quite sure he bought the expression "new life." He hadn't been reborn, and his personality certainly hadn't undergone a dramatic change. It was a continuation of life as it had once been, and though it wasn't exactly a new life itself, there was undeniably a newness to it. Instead of waking up every morning to breakfast with his mother and his father and spending the day with Fai and Yui, the entire day was filled with Fai and Fai alone. Fai asleep in his bed, his blonde hair rumpled and hands tangled in the sheets. Fai waking up and rubbing his eyes before preparing a small breakfast and sending Kurogane off to the fields. Fai staying at home and laboring over his silk and thread, lingering in Kurogane's mind as he worked. Fai in his imagination tenderly running his hands over the silk, softer and more beautiful than even the most stunning fabrics. Fai walking through the fields to deliver his lunch, his smile day-by-day returning to his face and growing all the more lovely.

And what Kurogane liked best was when he came home after a long day of work to the sight of someone there waiting for him. The light was too low for Fai to sew properly, so he would he move to the kitchen and make them a simple diner, asking Yui for guidance as he tried to new dishes. The two of them would eat together and discuss the day, Fai generally monopolizing the conversation with neighborhood gossip and news from Ashura or Yuuko or a client who had purchased one of his kimono.

Fai wasn't happy all the time. When it rained, he often spent the day in bed and left Kurogane to take care of the chores and cooking. And true to his word, he never addressed the possibility of love between them or joked about being his bride anymore, even though they were together and as close as any married couple. But for now, Kurogane was content with the way things were. With each day and month and year that passed, he realized they still had some room to grow. What he had once acknowledged as love in his heart when he was younger was only a fraction of what existed within him. Back then, he had been aware of how much he adored Fai's joy and kindness and even his melancholy, but even after they had shared their first and only kiss, he hadn't realized the extent to which he desired Fai as both a soul and body.

It was nearly suffocating at times as both his body and Fai's continued to mature with age. He had willingly given up on a physical relationship with Fai when he had forbidden him to save Yui, but it was difficult to have him sleeping nearby every night, painfully lovely and vulnerable, and then to witness him so close at hand without ever being able to touch him. He knew the day would one day come where they would have to confront the line that had been drawn between them in order to reconcile the two futures they wanted for themselves, but until that day arrived, he almost couldn't stand the distance between them and the burden of constant self-denial on his body.

Of course, he knew he was not the only one who was aware of Fai. Most of the girls who had flirted with Fai when they were younger now had either starting courting someone else or divided their attentions between Kurogane himself and the equally unreceptive Doumeki. But every day when Fai came to the fields with his carefully prepared meals, his blonde hair like spun gold in the sun and his body dressed in one of his beautiful silks, Kurogane knew his eyes weren't the only ones among the farmers looking upon him with desire. Some of them fantasized him as the next best thing to a woman, what with his delicate looks and talent for cooking picked up from Yui, but Kurogane knew his own feelings for Fai well enough to tell that a few of them would be willing to take it further than that if they could.

"I can't believe you let that beauty of yours out of the house," one the farmers mused following Fai's daily visit to the fields. "It's not often you see a man who can so easily outshine the beauty of all the women here. It must be difficult for all the wives who come to deliver food to their husbands to feel confident when he's around."

"He's not mine," Kurogane snarled, glaring at the man. "He's his own person."

"Ah, sorry for speaking so forwardly. I forgot that you have a temper on you."

"I've forgotten everything about you, apparently. I don't even know who you are."

"Eh? I've lived here my entire life! I'm only a few years older than you, so we were practically kids together! My name is Kei-"

"Don't bother. I won't remember anyways." Kurogane paused for a moment, his scowl deepening. "And don't get any ideas about that guy. No matter how beautiful he is, he's still a man."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. And if you're not claiming him, perhaps I can get ideas. If I remember correctly, you should be about seventeen by now, so a years down the road and you'll want to get married, which will leave him open for a new living situation."

"I don't know anything about getting married."

"So you have no interest in Fai-san and no interest in women? It seems rather cruel to just keep him with you if you never intend to do anything, doesn't it?"

Kurogane said nothing and turned his attention back to the crops. I do intend to do something, he groused to himself. But even I'm not going to force an issue that he's not prepared to handle as he is. But then if I give him a little more time, who knows how many other guys like this will start appearing around him?

When he returned to the house following the work day, Fai had a dinner of salted salmon and steamed vegetables waiting for him. He was full of chatter about some piece of news or another, something about Doumeki coming to visit from the city where he was training for the priesthood, but Kurogane listened half-heartedly and picked at his food, dwelling instead on how he could minimize the amount of unwanted insects that were beginning to swarm Fai.

Fai paused his speech and looked down at Kurogane's still full plate of food. "It... it's not very good, is it? I cooked it for too long."

"Hmm? No, it's fine."

"Then why aren't you eating? And why are you scowling like that?" Fai leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. "You haven't gotten sick, have you?"

"I haven't been sick since that fever three years ago."

"Then is something wrong?"

"Hmph." Kurogane tapped his chopsticks against the plate, wondering how to word what he was thinking properly. "When you come to the fields in the afternoon to bring me lunch..."

"Yes?"

"Is there any chance that you could come dressed a little less..." He trailed off again, searching for the word.

"A little less nicely? Are you worried about my clothes being stained by the water?"

"And there's no need to compete with everyone else bringing food. It's a field full of men, and they'll have their eyes on the women."

"I see." Fai set down his chopsticks and stared expressionlessly at the remains of his salmon. "I would hate to distract Kuro-sama from a pretty girl."

"Oi, I just don't want people to think you're exactly like those 'pretty girls' you're talking about. There have been comments."

"Oh?"

"And if I have to shut them up with a fist to the face, I'll run the risk of having the witch dock my pay."

Fai raised his eyes, still keeping his expression blank. "Does it really bother you so much?"

"Do you think I like to hear people who barely even know you speaking about you like that just because you look a certain way? Their eyes don't see anything more than what's on the surface. It's disgusting." Kurogane stabbed into his fish and took a huge bite. "It doesn't matter what you're wearing or if you don't even bother to comb your hair when you come to see me. I'll still watch for you."

Fai's mouth fell open slightly, and he looked on without speaking as Kurogane polished off the rest of the meal. It wasn't until Kurogane thanked him for the food and rose from the table that he said under his breath, "I can't tell if you're the one who is misunderstanding things, or if I am."

"What did you say?"

"We've spent most of our lives together. Kuro-tan must feel sometimes that I belong to him exclusively."

"That thought has never crossed my mind. It's better for me if you're here of your own free will rather than because I make you feel obligated to."

"But surely... when people imply things, you get upset because they're coming too close to something that's yours."

"And since when," Kurogane wondered, clenching his fists, "have you ever been mine? Possessions are things you can set down and pick right back up later without them having changed, and things you can use for whatever purpose without having to ask or order them. If you think there's some sort of misunderstanding going on, then it's all on your side. I've never thought of you like that. Ever."

Fai massaged his forehead with his hand. "In that case, there's nothing for you to worry about. It's only natural people would vocalize an interest in something they find attractive. That shouldn't offend you. After all, you have plenty of women at any given time implying they wouldn't mind marrying someone like you."

"Hmph." Kurogane glanced over to where Fai's latest bolt of silk was draped over the back of a chair. "Didn't you say when you bought that silk over there that there was someone else looking at it, too?"

"Mhmm. Some younger girl who wanted something to wear to next year's hanami picnic."

"And didn't you say that though you understood why she wanted it, you hated the thought of her buying it and taking it away from you?"

"Yes. She had said she'd never sewed anything before, and I thought she might damage it. It was such a pretty fabric that I thought it would be unfortunate if it was ruined just because she was inexperienced."

"So you weren't upset that she wanted the same thing you wanted. You were bothered by the thought that someone might not treasure something that you knew you would take perfect care of."

"I suppose." Fai at last finished up his meal and rose to gather the dishes. "But why did you change the subject to bring up that again?"

Kurogane blinked. "Oi. Are you trying not to understand, or do you really not get it?"

"If there's something you want me to understand, just explain it and stop dancing around the subject."

"But the fact that you can't even begin to understand it without words tells me that you're still not ready!"

The two fell silent for a moment, stewing in their own separate thoughts. After a few minutes, Fai sighed and set aside the plates to cross the room and lean his head on Kurogane's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kurorin. I don't want us to fight, and I didn't mean to be weird about it. The fact is, I don't make an effort to look nice because I want to be noticed by people like that. You've got that part all wrong."

"Then why?"

"I can't help being a selfish person. So many people have been looking at Kuro-tan and hoping he will fall in love with them, and though I don't know what Kuro-tan will do in the future, for now I'm the one Kuro-tan wants to live with. It's a special distinction, and while I still have it, I want to be able to be proud of the fact that you chose me in front of everyone else that wants to be chosen."

Kurogane turned to look at Fai, his forehead creasing. "Oi, does that-"

"But when the time comes for Kuro-tan to fall in love, I'll have to step aside gracefully, won't I?" Fai interrupted. "So please, while I still can, let me be selfish and show off a little, all right?"

Kurogane sighed and rapped his knuckles against Fai's head. "Selfish, huh? More like infuriating. Don't know why I put up with you."

"Me either. But I'm glad you do." With a half-smile, Fai gave Kurogane's shoulder one last pat and turned back to the dishes still left to clean, the subject hanging open and unresolved between them.

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