A/N

Okay, so I know it took a bit long to get this chapter out. I promise to focus a bit more on this story in the future. I am proud of this chapter though, it clears up a few things and made it easy to start Chapter 22, which is always nice.

Read and Review?

~Smo

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any characters associated with InuYasha.

"Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on."

Chapter 21

Even with her eyes closed, the world was spinning. Her brows furrowed and a groan escaped. The sound caused her entire head to explode. She hissed, grabbing at the covers and attempting to pull them over her head. Dear lord, what had she done to herself? Something blocked the covers though. A heavy weight that kept them anchored. A few more attempts made her whine and give up, burrowing her head under the pillow. Maybe it would suffocate her and end this sickness.

A slow chuckle made her entire body freeze. The pain in her head suddenly contorted into both fear and confusion. Slowly, she pushed the pillow off her head and opened one eye. Amused golden ones stared back at her. Panic shook her body, making her shoot from the bed and slam against the wall. "Oh kami. No. We did not..." Her hands gripped each side of her head. Sesshomaru was laying on his side in a t-shirt and denim jeans. His silver hair in a loose bun. "Damn he looks good." "No!" she shouted in response to her thoughts.

"Was it so bad, Kagome?" he taunted. Kagome's eyes widened to the point where she thought they were going to fall out. She patted her body, looking down at her clothes and realizing they were the same she had worn from the night before. Uncaring of the audience, she unbuttoned the skirt and looked down at the untouched undergarments. A sigh of relief escaped her as she buttoned her skirt up again and leaned against the wall. Her chest was still heaving from the panic.

"That was so not funny," Kagome growled, rubbing her head and taking in her surroundings. This room looked familiar. Once again, her eyes widened, but this time she attempted to keep her cool. "Why am I here? Why are we here, Sesshomaru?" she rushed out.

"Calm down. You were not able to drive last night, nor would I stand by and allow you to stay in one of those silly overnight places. Sango helped get you to a car where I decided to bring you back here," he explained. His voice soft, as if he were dealing with a small child or animal.

At the mention of Sango, guilt pooled into Kagome's stomach. "Sango. I was such an idiot last night," she whispered. "Where is she?"

"Eating breakfast with Izayoi," Sesshomaru answered easily, watching as Kagome walked over to the mirror to stand over the small vanity dresser she had grown up using. Her fingers ran through her tresses, and she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear them of the 'hangover' look. "... And Daitaro."

Kagome paused, looking at him in the mirror. "Daitaro knows I'm here?" she asked before dropping her head in defeat. "Of course he knows. He's a damn dog demon - the dog demon."

Sesshomaru seemed to tense up just as she did at the thought of Daitaro. Kagome's mouth twitched as she thought about what happened last night and what had caused her to get to this point. Her eyes met his, the golden eyes seemed to capture her instantly. It just wasn't fair. Why couldn't she just leave and never think of him again? Why did all of her thoughts end with Sesshomaru?

"Why go through the trouble, Sesshomaru?" she asked to his reflection. She turned to look at him completely, eying the way he seemed to relax so easily in her old bed. Kagome stood up and made her way over to it, sitting on the edge and staring down at him. It was a bad idea to get so close. The temptation to do something - anything - was too great.

"Because I care for you." No matter how much the answer tickled her senses and caused a warmth to spread through her body, it wasn't the one she had wanted. The corner of her lips lifted in a sad smile while she forgot about the throbbing in her head. "What happened?"

"I just wasn't expecting to hear that," Kagome muttered, staring at the colorful rug beside her bed. She remembered buying it during junior high school. Sesshomaru had called it childish, the multiple colors without pattern and with no organization at all. She had argued that it had character.

Sesshomaru awkwardly cleared his throat, forcing her to look at him. "I meant last night," he proclaimed. "I have never seen you get out of control."

"No. I suppose you haven't," she mumbled, remembering just how much she drank with Koga after the Christmas Party of Doom. Kagome remembered dancing with the guy that had taken Sango's place after her friend had excused herself. There had been nothing wrong about him. Yet there was nothing right about him either. He simply wasn't a dog demon with silver hair and colored crescents making the gold of his eyes shimmer as if they could penetrate anything they targeted. That had been the problem, had always been the problem.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She could tell she had offended him by her statement. It had not been her intention. Sighing heavily, she reached up to rub her forehead, no longer able to meet the angry look in his eyes.

The door opened before she could think of a response. She looked up at Daitaro, at the stern look in the amber eyes. Great, now she had two angry dog demons to deal with. Standing up, she bowed quickly, forcing the apology past her lips. Although she did not exactly approve of his recent behavior, he had still raised her, even though his supervision was more to keep a close eye on her power. "I am sorry for intruding, Daitaro."

"This was your room at some point. Or did you forget that?" The firm voice made her feel as if she were in trouble and a child again. Yet she noticed the past tense of the comment. This was no longer her room.

"Father," Sesshomaru cut in.

"I will not forget the kindness you and Izayoi showed me after my mother could no longer care for me, Daitaro," Kagome returned. "However, I am beginning to realize you only saw me as a threat you would rather have on your side. Do not make me out to be the only bad thing in this room."

Daitaro snorted, but said nothing to deny her accusation. Subconsciously, she reached up to finger the sphere dangling off her neck. It was always warm, and hers. A feeling of possessiveness came over her that anyone would try to obtain her as a weapon or tool for their own bidding. "Just because I disagree with your more recent choices and lapses in judgment does not mean I do not care for you wellbeing, Kagome," Daitaro broke in, causing her to look up at him again. She had heard that damn 'care' word too many times today.

"Well, thank you for your concern." Standing up, she bowed to Daitaro, turning to nod in farewell to Sesshomaru before squeezing past the looming dog demon into the hallway. Finally, she took in a breath and allowed her shoulders to fall into a shrug. She could hear Sesshomaru and his father already beginning to argue, forcing herself to descent the sweeping staircase and retreat into the kitchen.

On the counter were a few plates of different breakfast foods. It appeared as if Izayoi had cooked for a happy reunion. Rubbing the tiredness from her eyes, she picked up a plate and began to dish out a few of everything, making her way into the next room onto to pause in the doorway. "Really?"

The exaggerated word slipped from her lips before she could stop it. Sango and Izayoi both looked uncomfortable. Inuyasha looked upset, and Kikyo simply looked away as if the ancient painting on the wall was somehow the most interesting thing in the room. It was her mother that had caught her so off guard. Was this another one of Daitaro's ideas of scaring her?

Kagome saw Sango pull the chair out next to her, gesturing for Kagome to take it. Biting her cheek from saying anything else, she fell into the chair and reached for her chopsticks in silence. It did not go unnoticed that everyone was now watching her. Her appetite was gone, but she had never liked skipping meals.

"How are you feeling this morning?" It was Izayoi that broke the silence. Ever the peacemaker, Izayoi probably hoped that they could all get together for a shopping trip afterward.

"Out of the loop," Kagome answered honestly, not bothering to look up. She wasn't sure who she would look at . A few seconds later, she felt Sesshomaru's presence as well as Daitaro's as they made it into the dining room table. She watched their facial expressions. There was nothing. Each one showed no reaction to her mother sitting there, which meant it was no surprise. Another feeling of betrayal filled her. "Not even a warning?" she asked, looking up at them. Fine, if they wanted to plot behind her after one night of weakness, she could produce a counter attack.

Complete silence followed. It lasted the entire meal until she rinsed her plate in the kitchen. Sango joined her with a sheepish smile. "That was awkward," she whispered. Kagome nodded in agreement. "Our car is out front too. I have no idea how that happened."

Kagome had completely forgotten about their car. "That will make things easier. Are you okay with a detour on the way home? It will be quick since we are near the shrine anyways."

"No, whatever you want," Sango answered, feeling as if it was her way of comforting Kagome. She followed Kagome back into the dining room. For the first time understanding what Kagome meant about the awkwardness of being involved with the dog demons. They heard everything she said, watched her movements, and she felt as if she had no control.

"I am taking you home." Kagome's words shocked Sango. She was standing beside her mother with such a cold gaze Sango didn't know if she was sad or angry.

"All right, Kagome, but do not believe these kind people are behind my appearance. I have been checking up on you since our last... meeting," she explained as if it would excuse them. Kagome clenched her fist.

"Demons. They aren't people. Demons. I am a miko, mother. Technically, I am not a simple human either." They all saw the wince, but her mother recovered quickly enough. Standing up, she nodded to Kagome before saying her farewells and heading to the front door.

"Kagome..." Sesshomaru began, somehow feeling as if this was all his fault.

"I will be in touch," Kagome cut in, already brushing past him with no more than a quick glance. Sesshomaru watched with a torn expression, wanting to chase after her but knowing she would not allow it.

Inuyasha was the one to break the silence after their departure. Chewing around a mouthful of food, he eyed Sesshomaru, "So what happened?"

~ Time Floats On ~

Kagome barely recognized the shrine when she arrived. It was more desolate than she remembered. The wellhouse appeared worn and barely standing. The home where she had lived the first years of her life looked as if it needed a new coating of paint. The famous God tree had shed most of its leaves for the coming winter and no one had swept in ages.

She refused to feel anything though. There would be no regret from her side, or apologies. Quietly, she glanced at Sango who gave her a supportive nod and encouraging smile. "I'll stay in the car if you don't mind," she added, "I'll call Rin and tell her we're a few hours out, too."

Kagome gave her a grateful nod before getting out of her car and catching up to her mother up. "We need to talk." She hoped her voice was firm. Her eyes took in her mother, hoping for some sort of reaction. There was none.

The door slid open. The scent was nostalgic. Kagome could never place it. It was simply the fragrance she had grown so used to, and then had never smelled again. She remembered missing it when she lived at Daitaro's. The first few years she'd always wondered what it was. Maybe the fabric softener.

"That man-"

"Demon. Mother, they are all demons. It is a disrespect to them to call them anything less," Kagome corrected. She didn't know why she defended them. In this instance it didn't quite matter.

For a moment, her mother simply stared at her. Sighing heavily, the older woman retreated into the kitchen and Kagome waited in the welcoming room. She heard the rummaging of cabinets and the distinct sound of a kettle being set on a stove. It appeared they would be having tea.

"When Daitaro invited me over the first time, I was shocked to say the least. He said you were causing trouble and thought it would help if you could see me. He thought it could have been from a need to know about me. I told him it wasn't. You would have sought me out earlier. You were a determined child." Kagome listened to her mother's explanation, still feeling unwelcome in this house. It was strange. The same furniture and pictures, the same cat bed in the corner by the television, none of it had changed. "Izayoi kept in contact with me afterwards. She and I have been going to coffee and lunch sometimes. A nice woman."

"She's always been hopeful," Kagome grumbled, wondering herself is she meant it as an insult or compliment. Izayoi was kind, but she was also foolish sometimes. Daitaro usually watched her closely, probably stemming from his need to control everything. Kagome figured it was why Izayoi made such a perfect match for him.

Finally, Kagome sat on the couch. "You should not get involved with them. I am beginning to learn that now. They may be nice and well-mannered, but they think of themselves before everyone."

"Even Sesshomaru?" Her mother's quick reply caught Kagome off guard. Apparently, Izayoi had told her everything. Kagome tried not to flush. It felt weird to know that her biological mother knew about her trysts with a demon even though she had only just spoken to her for the first time in over a decade.

"Sesshomaru thinks of his father first," Kagome stated. "It is the pack mentality of their nature. As Alpha, Daitaro makes most of the decisions and it is up to the pack to make sure what they do does not affect him negatively. It is what caused this all in the first place. I am sure Izayoi told you all this."

"Hmm, from a different perspective," her mother sang as she entered the room again with a tray. Two mugs and a bowl of sugarcubes sat on the wooden tray. A kettle on the far end of it. Kagome poured it for both of them, dropping in three cubes and stirring it with a small spoon. Her mother watched with a strange smile, it was almost endearing.

"Izayoi thinks everything is fixable, like a fairy tale," Kagome mumbled before taking a careful sip. It was a bit too hot, but she refused to show it.

"Yes, I do get that she probably has not encountered as many hardships as you," her mother countered. Kagome recognized bait when she heard it after the last few months.

"You want me to react poorly to that. Why?" Kagome asked, figuring she would be as straightforward as possible.

"Just because you have had some obstacles in your life, doesn't mean other people need to be as pessimistic as you, Kagome. Izayoi believes that there is a solution where nobody gets hurt." The strange tone of a maternal lecture caught her off guard. Kagome wanted to be offended, but refused to show the woman in front of her she had been affected.

"Izayoi does not share the same values that I do, which is why I cannot agree with her perspective. She is submissive and follows Daitaro's orders. I want something more than that. I could never be the passive little girl, which is why they suddenly view me as a threat."

"Which is what you want to be seen as," her mother countered. Kagome easily gave another nod. "But not a real one..." Kagome nodded again.

"I just want some credit, really, but now I am actually getting some remarkable research back. It's truly amazing. By next year, we'll have invented-." She stopped herself. Why was she getting excited with the same woman who had left her? Stiffening at the thought, Kagome took another sip of tea to stall. "Why are you suddenly so interested in my life?"

"You think the worst of me, don't you?" The bluntness of the question, the pain in her mother's eyes was enough to make Kagome shift uncomfortably on the sofa. "I don't feel as if there's an excuse for what I did, but could you try putting yourself in my shoes, Kagome? I was given a beautiful child, but with something I hadn't known existed. How was I supposed to know what to do with a girl who could turn off the electricity if I tried to say no to her? Or what about the time you pushed that Ken boy without touching him, and he had that bruise on his arm from when he called you names? So, yes, I took you to specialists, but even they had no idea, and they wanted to test you for so many things. So I would go to the next one. Yes, in hindsight that had not been the smartest idea. I should have not gone out and sought so many doctors, but then I would never have found Izayoi and Inuyasha, who opened up that world - your world."

Kagome wanted to laugh at the last two worlds. Apparently, Daitaro didn't think she belonged in that world. She was in her own world, her own classification. Still, she waited for her mother, trying to listen to what she had to say without feeling so resentful. "When Daitaro said it would be better if they took you in with guardianship, so they could be able to help make important decisions and send you to schools where others could protect and teach you how to harness that power, I knew it would be the best for you. Do you regret it, Kagome? Think hard on that. Can you imagine what it would be like, not being able to control it? Not having known demons existed? It may not have been the right thing to do to a child, but it was the best thing for you." Kagome looked at her mother, tearing her eyes away from the tea she had been staring at. She seemed to make a small whimper, her eyes were watery. "I wanted to check on you, but I knew it would hurt you just to say goodbye again. It was a selfish decision, cause I didn't want to say goodbye either," she whispered shakily.

Her stomach felt heavy. Kagome's own throat constricted with emotion as she realized in a way her mother was completely right to have done what she did. Yet, Kagome wished it was wrong. Hoped that she was right to be hurt that it hadn't worked out between them. So, she spoke as honestly as she could. "I see your point and that it was the best thing to do for your child. I- I am just not ready to accept it yet." Standing up, Kagome tried to conjure a smile, but it was a sad excuse of one. "I- I'll think about it though."

"Wait!" The frantic call of her mother made Kagome stop on her path to the door. She wondered if Sango was lonely in the car for an instant before turning back to look at her mother. "I know what he did to you, Kagome. I wanted to smack that ma-demon the second I was told. But, he's trying to make it right, isn't he? If you were happiest when you were with him, then try not to shut him out completely just because of what's happened."

Kagome was reminded of Izayoi. They both seemed to think that Sesshomaru had done something small, something that required a mere slap on the hand. It meant more to her than that though. She had loved him, had done everything and anything for him. He had chosen someone else, kept it a secret from her, and then broke it off without a warning or an apology, but a simple announcement. Kagome wasn't sure if she was angrier that Sesshomaru had allowed Daitaro to set it all up, or because he didn't tell her. What would she have done, if Sesshomaru told her about it all? Would she have agreed to be the mistress on the side? Quickly, Kagome shook her head at the thought, not realizing that her mother thought it was in response to her words. "Be careful then, or you're going to hurt worse than before."

Kagome left the house without another word. When she got into the car, Sango thankfully didn't ask anything. Her friend probably saw her face and knew that Kagome was not in a talking mood. Sighing, she hit her head on the steering wheel. "You okay?"

"I want to be angry. I want people to understand why I am angry, but now everyone seems to have a good excuse, and I can't be angry anymore," Kagome whispered. She saw a look of confusion pass in Sango's eyes before she gave a warm smile and unbuckled her seatbelt. Kagome got the hint and switched seats, thankful she didn't have to worry about driving with so much on her mind. "Sesshomaru was controlled by Daitaro, my mother actually made me who I am by giving me away because it was the best thing she could do, and- and Daitaro forced Sesshomaru to get with Kagura because he is being controlled by Naraku. It's like I'm the idiot that has fallen down in the middle of a stampede and just keeps getting stepped on."

Sango laughed at her analogy, but shrugged her shoulders as if there was a simple solution. "Well, I guess you need to stand up then."