Chapter 11

Left-Handed Kisses

I don't believe everything happens for a reason

To us romantics out here, that amounts to high treason

I don't go in for your star-crossed lovers

In the heart of a skeptic

There's a question that still hovers near

For it begs the question

How did I ever find you

Now you got me writing love songs

With a common refrain like this one here, baby

I was not expecting to be attacked twice in one day.

But a lot of unexpected things have happened since I came to the Capitol.

I look up and see a large man with short black hair being punched by none other than Haymitch.

I'm assuming the man is Brutus, and judging by how much strength was put into the punch, he hates me.

The force of the impact caused me to stumble and fall.

I reach my hand to my lip, which feels wet with blood.

Haymitch and Brutus are fighting on the ground, while another figure appears.

I recognize her immediately as Enobaria. It's the fangs.

"You," She spits at me, charging towards me.

"What the hell did you do to my tribute? You ruined him! He's a marshmallow! And then you attack him? Try to show him up in there?"

She has me backed against a wall.

She is a foot taller than me, and is holding me up with her forearm against my already bruised jugular.

I feel the blood from Brutus's punch trickle down my chin.

My feet are dangling in the air, and I see no way out of this situation.

Haymitch is struggling with Brutus, who is twice his size.

Can they really just attack us like that?

"I came here to explain. It was fake." I manage to squeak out while glaring at her.

The pain in my throat is blinding.

"What was fake?" She asks, pressing me tighter against the wall.

I scream out at the top of my lungs as her arm pierces my throat.

"Don't you hurt her!" I hear Haymitch shout, but it's partially cut off by the sound of a punch.

"The argument!" I grunt. She loosens her grip slightly.

I hear the sound of heavy footsteps.

"Hey! What the hell is going on? Let her go!" Cato barks, pulling Enobaria off of me.

She struggles against him, while I claw at my throat, like doing so will make the pain go away.

Clove walks in as well and looks around the room, assessing the situation in confusion.

Haymitch is still struggling with Brutus, underneath him, being punched.

I'm slumped against the wall, coughing and clawing at my throat.

Cato is holding back a furious Enobaria.

I guess it is pretty confusing.

"I don't even want to ask. You're trouble is what you are." She says, shaking her head at me in disgust, but her eyes are smiling.

She bends over, and pulls something out of her boot.

Surprisingly, she jumps on her mentor, pulling him off of Haymitch with a knife to his throat.

"Get the hell off of him you ugly brute." She says menacingly.

A shiver runs up my spine.

She was teasing a minute ago and now she's... Terrifying.

"I would have answered whatever you needed to know. You didn't need to attack me." I manage to choke out between coughs.

My voice sounds hoarse, like I'd been screaming for hours.

"But it's more fun that way, isn't it?" Enobaria replies, smiling at me.

"Well tell me, then, are you having fun?" I ask her.

She is being held back, her arms are behind her back. That can't be fun.

Her smile fades and she bares her "fangs" at me, hissing.

I smirk at her, and hear Clove snicker. "Honestly, you two attacked this girl? She's half your size!"

It is a very uneven fight.

But Cato and Clove are defending Haymitch and me.

Why do they even care?

"I can't believe you two. A bunch of idiots is what you are. She came here to talk to your tribute and she gets beat up by two full grown adults. You're disgusting." Haymitch says, looking between Enobaria and Brutus before coming over to me.

His face is bruised and bloody, but he doesn't seem to be in pain. He wipes the blood from my chin and kisses my forehead.

I hear a deep throaty laugh.

"Haymitch Abernathy. Look at you. Pathetic. I cannot believe you would associate with such scum. You're a fool. I'm going to enjoy watching my tributes rip her to pieces." He says smiling.

I think he forgot that Clove has a knife to his throat.

Haymitch moves towards him, ready to strike, and I hear Enobaria snicker.

"Don't-" I say to Haymitch, trying to stop him. I'm tired of seeing fighting and blood.

Before Haymitch reaches Brutus, Clove digs her knife deep into his throat to draw blood.

His face flinches in pain.

Haymitch stops his advance.

She leans close to his ear and snarls, "You are a weak old coward if you are making death threats to a girl."

"You're the fool if you think we'd lay a hand on her. Don't forget we just attacked you. With barely any effort," Cato says loudly, speaking for the first time.

"Think twice before speaking on our behalf again. I won't hesitate to dig a little deeper next time." Clove says, and presses the knife farther into Brutus's throat.

She then draws it out and throws it to the ground.

She releases her hold on Brutus, and I see Cato do the same for Enobaria.

I've never seen Cato look so frightening.

I hadn't realized I was holding Haymitch's hand until he is tugging it towards the elevator.

I follow silently, too shocked to resist.

I look at anything but someone's face.

Before the doors close, Haymitch gets a final word in, "You two are going to regret that. I'll never forgive either of you."

When the doors close I don't move. I feel numb; I don't cry, or feel sad or angry.

I don't feel anything.

When the doors open, I walk straight to the stairwell, not looking back.

Thankfully, I don't hear Haymitch following me.

When I reach the roof, I go straight to the bench.

I weave through the garden, throat and mouth throbbing in pain.

I check the time before laying down on the bench. 9:44.

I wrap the neatly folded blanket tightly around my body like a cocoon.

I gaze up at the bright stars, inhaling the fresh air.

I'm out there for hours, wide-awake, before I hear the door open and close.

I hear the sound of Cato's heavy footsteps weave through the garden.

It's funny how I can recognize them, and I've known him for all of three days.

Three days? It feels longer.

When they stop, and I feel his gaze, I know that he's found me.

He stares at me for a few minutes, neither of us speaking. I'm staring at the stars, knowing I should probably speak.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat and ignore the pains in my face and throat.

"It was fake. I was lying. I didn't mean a word of what I said. If you hadn't been there, I'd be-" I say, my eyes filling with tears I will not to fall.

He walks towards me, and wraps me in his arms.

"-dead. I'd be dead. I'm so sorry for what I said. It was cruel and I didn't mean any of it. I was pretending so the careers thought I hated you and you could keep your alliance."

He smiles softly at me.

He looks like my Cato again. A big change from earlier tonight on level two.

He doesn't say anything, he just wraps me up and carries me.

To where, I have no idea. I don't care, really. I'd be fine if I stayed in his arms. It felt safe.

I feel him stop moving and talk to someone in a hushed voice.

I can't make out the words over my crying, but then I'm in motion again.

I fell asleep in his arms with the feeling of security and safety, which is something I haven't felt since my father's death.

I feel like I can finally breathe, so I relish in the feeling of oxygen in my lungs. It's a new feeling.

I'm running through the garden, trying to escape my pursuer.

I hear the person's quiet footsteps behind me, gaining speed. I push my legs to go forward, but I seem to be moving slower and slower the faster my legs move.

"I'm coming Primrose! You won't be able to escape me!" An oddly familiar voice says.

I trip and stumble over a root, landing on my hands and knees.

I look up directly in front of me and I'm looking in a mirror. But it's not a mirror.

I am standing before me, smiling evilly down at myself.

She walks in a circle around me as I bring my knees to my chest and rock back and forth.

"This isn't real. This isn't real." I chant.

"Oh but it is. I am your biggest fear. You'll see later. You aren't strong enough to make it back to them, are you?" She says.

Really it's me saying these things. I fight the urge to reach my hands forward to see if I'm looking in a mirror.

She points to where my family and friends are standing across the forest behind her.

I have to move my head side to side to see all of them.

Katniss, mother, Rory, Gale, the Hawthorne's, Peeta, and everyone else I know from home.

Katniss speaks first, and that's when I notice the bundle in her arms that she is cradling for dear life.

"You left me Prim. How could you leave me? Leave us? My baby?" She accuses, glaring at me.

Everyone is glaring at me, angry.

"You left me with no food. I starved, Primrose. I died from starvation and nobody saved me. It was your fault, Primrose." My mother says.

I feel tears stream down my cheeks.

I want to tell them no, that I'm right here, but I can't find my voice.

"You left me Prim. I couldn't feed my family without you. They all died because of you. I loved you Prim. I loved you and you left me for the Capitol. Why don't you love me, Prim?" Rory says.

This time, when I open my mouth, words come out.

"No! No! Katniss! Mom! Rory! No!" I scream at them.

Slowly, one by one, they fade away.

I am looking only at myself now.

"No! Mother! Katniss! Rory!" I scream, wanting to see their faces once more.

Someone is shaking me.

I struggle against them.

Who is attacking me?

"No! Please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to," I whimper.

My eye is in so much pain and my neck aches.

"Prim. It's Cato. You were having a nightmare. It's okay. It's okay Prim. You're all right, now."

I collapse into his open arms when he sits beside me.

I know that it isn't quite morning yet, because my room is still dark and the moon is streaming in rays through my window.

I glance at the clock: 2:59.

He stayed here all night? Is that even allowed?

His big arms wrap around my body tightly, and his chin rests on my head.

I lean into his chest tighter and tighter, staining his shirt with my tears.

I don't know how long we stay that way. Minutes, hours, maybe days.

I feel safe. A war could have broken out and I wouldn't have noticed or cared so long as I was in his arms.

He kisses my hair gently, and so quietly I almost don't make out the words, he murmurs, "Who's Rory?"

Was I yelling Rory's name in my sleep?

"Rory?" I ask, puzzled.

"You were shouting for Katniss, your mother, and-and for someone named Rory. Who is Rory?" He asks, pulling back.

I look up at him, and his brows are furrowed.

I sigh, "Rory is my best friend from home. We spend everyday together." I say, a sudden wave of sadness talking about my friend taking over me.

I look down, wiping a new tear from my cheek.

"Do you miss her?" He asks.

Her?

I suddenly picture Rory in a pink dress with ruffles and makeup on.

I laugh at the image my mind created, "I miss him very much."

I look at him, his mouth forms an 'o' shape and he looks down.

He's silent for a few moments, and when he looks up they are more pained then I have ever seen them.

A faint red blush paints his cheeks, making him look more handsome than he already does.

He looks so flustered. It's almost like he's only honest with me, since he never shows these emotions to anybody else.

I grab his hand and squeeze it reassuringly, and the blush grows darker.

"Are you two... You know. T-together?" He stutters.

Together? Ohhh. Maybe that explains his embarrassment.

But why would he be embarrassed asking me that?

Maybe he feels nosy.

"What? Like a couple? No. We're just friends." I say, gauging his reaction.

Relief seems to fill his body.

His whole face relaxes and he releases a breath.

He smiles at me, "Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry about your nightmare. My mother used to sing me to sleep. I'd offer my voice... But it might cause more nightmares." He says, giving me a sheepish smile.

I laugh at his comment.

I lay back down in my bed, getting comfortable.

I make room for him, giving the option for him to lie next to me if he'd like.

I silently pray that he does.

But, like a gentleman, he stays in an upright position at the foot of my bed.

I fidget with my hands and bite my lip.

I'm more awake now that Cato is here with me.

"Can you sing for me?" He abruptly asks.

Sing?

"Sing?" I voice my thoughts.

"I heard you one night. You were on the bench in the garden. You have the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. Will you sing for me?"

He heard me sing.

I'm too flustered to respond with an answer other than a song.

I sing a few lines from Devil We Know. I don't even know if it's Capitol approved, but it's something my mother used to sing to me.

When I finish, I just look at the ceiling in silence.

I feel his gaze on me, but I don't move a muscle.

I don't move my eyes from the spot on the ceiling I'm staring at when he lays down on the open space I gave him on my bed.

His whole right side is touching mine, and I feel it. It feels like his whole body is filled with static electricity.

We're so close and I feel my heartbeat everywhere.

His closeness causes my cheeks to flare up. I know he probably sees it because his eyes never leave me.

"I knew, Prim. Right when I saw your eyes. Your eyes looked pained, like you were begging me for something you were scared I wouldn't give you. But everything else said you were angry. Your body, your words. But your eyes… I trust your eyes. So I knew immediately that you were pretending. I played along." He murmurs softly.

I silently grab his hand, and with a new amount of bravery look in his eyes.

His hand is cold, but I welcome the temperature.

It contrasts with my warmth.

His eyes boring into mine say everything that words cannot express.

I long for him this way. When he's my Cato and he cares about me and he looks at me this way.

I've never seen him look at anyone this way except for Oliver at his reaping.

I care about Cato. Enough that I could never hurt him. Not now or in the arena. I'd die before I let anyone harm him.

My Cato.

I don't care that I call him 'my' Cato. When he looks at me this way, that's exactly what he feels like to me.

Mine. I feel like he is giving me all of him, making himself vulnerable to me and only me.

My heart speeds up when his face inches slowly closer to mine.

This can't be happening. I've thought about my chances with him. They're slim. He'd never be interested in me. Ever. If you look at us... I'm me. Average. He's him. Gorgeous. Plus one of us will be dead in the next few weeks.

I look down at his lips.

They are centimeters away from mine, parted and waiting to touch mine.

I look in his eyes, and they're asking for my permission.

My permission to have my first kiss.

I don't think about my decision.

I think about what I want to do.

My cheeks on fire, I nod my head, and he closes the distance between us.

His lips are soft, warm, and gentle.

Since we are lying down, he twists his body so it hovers over mine.

His hands cradle my face gently but firmly.

It doesn't last as long as I wish, but is long enough to leave me breathless.

When he pulls away, his face looks more than content.

His eyes are bright and full of happiness. I imagine his cheeks are in pain from how wide he's smiling. His eyes are crinkling at the corners from it.

Did I give him that gorgeous smile?

I smile back at him bashfully.

I'm not going to say that it was perfect, because there is no such thing.

But it was certainly one of the best moments of my life.

I wouldn't rather have anyone else steal my first kiss.

Minutes later, I fall asleep with his warm blue eyes on my face.

A/N: The reason why Clove defended and protected Prim is because of Prim's character. Prim has such a big heart and is really innocent and influential because of that. She has an effect on most people, Clove included.

"Devil We Know"- Lily & Madeline