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First off thanks to inkykenrd for my first ever (and very nice) review, that made my day. Also belated thanks to those who have favoured or followed this story. Anyhow on with the story, enjoy.

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It had been a very interesting day.

Lanaya, the First (which is to say second after Keeper Zathrian) of the Dalish had been expecting another day of caring for the injured and infected members of her people. Privately she knew many of them were cursed to become werewolves. That had been obvious after the first attack, many proud Dalish elves had died or been transformed into monsters. These beasts had taken people she had known since childhood and more would follow. The best she could do was comfort them and try to delay the inevitable. With the werewolf threat and the Darkspawn in the south the clan was in a desperate situation. Normally they would have moved on but with so many wounded that was impossible. Then mid way through the morning visitors arrived.

They were not Dalish; most of them weren't even Elves.

The dwarven Grey Warden and his strange group had come seeking their aid against the Blight and had agreed to help them end werewolf curse in exchange. There was confusion and some veiled hostility from the clan. They had no quarrel with a Child of the Stone but most of the Grey Warden's entourage were human, the long lists of historical grievances were kept fresh in the minds of every generation of the Dalish. Still the Keeper had made a deal to help the clan and no one would openly question it. It helped that the strangers had been unfailingly polite and respectful, if relentlessly inquisitive.

For Lanaya personally these new arrivals had allowed her to indulge her curiosity about the outside world. A world she had left behind as a very young girl. The Dwarf had answered her questions and asked plenty in return. In all she glad she was Dalish; the idea of living in a human settlement like her oppressed city elf cousins sounded grim and noisy, as for living underground…

The Warden had asked a few questions about the Dalish. From what she could tell he seemed just as baffled by the appeal of permanently living in the wilderness and she was by urban life. His questions about the Keeper however were rather uncomfortable; when she revealed that Keeper Zathrian had lost his family there was a momentary gleam in the Dwarf's eye that looked like he was…suspicious.

Lanaya was so caught up in her recollections that failed to notice Mithra, the most senior surviving hunter, appear at her side.

Dalish grace went out the proverbial window once Mithra politely coughed. Lanaya jumped nearly a foot off the ground with a high pitched yelp.

"I hope I did not disturb you too much" said Mithra an amused smirk on her face while Lanaya clutched her chest, trying to steady her breathing.

"It has been a tiring few days" responded Lanaya primly. "I have of course been assisting the Keeper with our injured constantly."

"What are their chances?" Mithra's face had turned grim.

"As strange as it sounds I think their last hope lays with these outsiders." Both Dalish women turned to the corner of the camp that the Warden and his allies had been given. They had assured the clan that they would head into the forest at first light and most were now asleep.

Mithra looked even grimmer at that. "Can they be trusted with such an important task, especially when our own hunters failed?"

"They need our help with the Darkspawn" replied Lanaya "their reasons for helping us are clear. As for their capability such an… odd group has must be able to work together or else it would've fallen already. They are not too dissimilar to our clan when you think about it."

"I suppose" said a sullen Mithra "but I'm not used to relying on such people, none of the clan is." She paused "and some of the beings of this Warden's group are completely unknown to me. What do you make of the statue and their walking chest?"

"The stone creature is called a Golem; they are dwarven creations according to the Keeper." Explained the First "As for the chest I do not know, it is magical but like nothing I've heard of. It certainly gave poor Cammen a fright."

"It did" Mithra laughed "perhaps the Warden spoke to Gheyna for him as a way of apologising. They make a sweet couple."

"They do, it's nice to see, especially in these troubled times. As for the chest I wondered if it was an ancient relic of our people but there are no references to such inventions. Perhaps our ancestors created it, perhaps not." Lanaya looked up at the stars. "It is a mystery, so much is lost."

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"We're completely lost aren't we?"

"Yep"

"Stupid surface forest, give me a nice underground tunnel any time."

"Well at least we've got lots of fresh wolf pelts."

Everyone stared at Leliana.

"They're warm and good to sleep on!"

"Well that's a relief since it looks like we'll spending the rest of the year in this wood." Snapped Odin "Stuck all this greenery at the behest of a shifty elf mage, why does this keep happening? Does some evil force enjoy sending us all over the country solving everyone else's problems?"

"Probably" responded Zevran "Though I am pleased that I am not the only one that doesn't trust our esteemed Dalish keeper."

"He knows something about this. I don't know what but we'll get some answers one way or another." Odin looked around. "Assuming we get out of here first."

"I once read a book on woodcraft many years ago. I'm sure there was something about checking your direction with moss growth. Let me see if can remember…" Wynne set about pacing and muttering to herself.

Odin looked round to see if anyone else had any bright ideas, then noticed the group was one short.

"Where is the chest?"

At that point a strange rumbling sound came from within the forest. They all recognised the noise and drew their weapons. An unspoken decision was reached to find the source of this disturbance. Eyes widened when they found it.

"What manner of beast be thee?

That stands before this elder tree."

The luggage was there, standing in front of a gnarled oak tree. An oak tree which was moving of its own violation and speaking in rhyme, it had apparently just woken up. It was also looking down at the Luggage.

"What is this, a new wooden friend?

Is my loneliness at an end?"

The tree promptly bent down and swept up the Luggage, hugging the chest close to its' own chest. The Luggage's legs seemed to be frantically scrambling in an attempt to escape but were having absolutely no luck.

The rest of the group just stared at the bizarre sight.

Eventually Alistair spoke. "Well at least he is friendlier than the other walking trees we've met."

"I don't know about you but I have no wish to be hugged to death by a rhyming tree." Replied Odin grimly. "Still we might be able to negotiate, as long as we don't have to rhyme ourselves."

The group slowly approached the Oak which still had the Luggage firmly held to its' torso. The Luggage itself appeared to have reluctantly given up struggling; it clearly wasn't getting anywhere.

As Odin decided how best to approach this delicate situation without getting stomped on a single thought crossed his mind.

I better find some damn good loot in this forest.

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"So you've lost my luggage?"

"Lost is such a… pessimistic way to think about it my dear fellow. I'd prefer to say temporarily misplaced."

"I bet you bloody do!"

Rincewind angrily paced the floor of the Archchancellor's Office. After dealing with his latest adventure in distant lands, that is to say running as far away from it as possible, things had been quiet for the last few week.

Suspiciously quiet.

Rincewind understood his life well enough that this couldn't last. Something was bound to happen, dragon attack, shipwreck, war, plague, famine; it was a long and rather depressing list. Magical cock-up was of course on this list but it was meant to happen to him not his luggage. That terrifying but useful menace was (supposed) to help get him out of sticky situations not drag him into one. His life always had a way of keeping him on his feet however.

What was considerably less surprising to the wizard was that the cause of this latest crisis came from his 'esteemed' colleagues in the Unseen University. Those very people were standing around the Archchancellor's desk, stroking their beards and looking credibly apologetic.

Bastards

"Well you see it was a simple enough experiment," explained Ponder Stibbons in his usual, terribly earnest, fashion. The youngest member of the group by several decades and Head of the Inadvisably Applied Magic department continued; "Hex had done all the calculations, it should have created a portal between my department and the kitchen, the plan was to create to create these portals all over the facility."

"Imagine the advantages!" said the Dean "We could have meals and booze delivered instantly! Surely you can see that such possibilities needed to be investigated."

"Well quite," agreed Ponder "but it would appear that it hasn't quite worked out as expected." He finished, looking rather sheepish.

"And the reason you decided to use my luggage as the first test subject was?" prompted Rincewind, his eyes firmly fixed on Ponder.

What followed was an incredibly lengthy and detailed explanation that absolutely no one understood.

Not that any of them would ever admit that of course.

"Be that as it may, where did my luggage go?" asked Rincewind, choosing to believe that the previously inexplicable explanation was a perfectly reasonable one and moved on.

"Well we don't know exactly where but I'm certain that the Luggage is completely safe." Assured Ponder.

An awkward silence followed; no one doubted the Luggage was safe but as for those around it….

"Someone will need to find the Luggage before we can close the portal." Ponder eventually said.

All eyes turned to Rincewind.

I knew it! I bloody well knew it! Once again I'm sent off on some ridiculous adventure that will probably get me attacked, captured, tortured, killed and then violently dismembered for good measure! While my damned colleagues stay warm, comfy and well feed!

Rincewind kept these accurate but tactless thoughts to himself and instead stated as many reasons/excuses as he could think of for not going.

Unfortunately they didn't work; his fellow wizards pointed out that as the owner, well, keeper, of the Luggage he was most likely to find it. Just as importantly he could bring it back without losing as many limbs.

Rincewind bowed to the inevitable, he was going whether he liked it or not. But he wasn't done yet. He then asked that, given the danger of the unknown, perhaps they should all go.

To Rincewind's utter, but predictable, disgust this idea was met with averted eye contact and thumb twiddling. The list of excuses that followed involved an astoundingly diverse selection of health problems afflicting the staff. As well as their relatives, friends, friends of friends, pets of said friends and casual acquaintances.

One staff member even claimed he had a class to teach.

After hearing all this Rincewind, with remarkable restraint, held back the torrent of abuse in his mind and instead simply asked (reluctantly and with rather slumped shoulders) "What do I have to do?"

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