ChapII (15) - Acclimation and Adaption

Recap: Allen somehow went blind on a mission with Lavi, Allen hoped it'd go away but it got worse and he can't see. Somehow Allen's memories aren't there and no-one can tell him what happened in the time away from Lavi. Both of them have a bit of panic, Lavi explains what he knows happened but ends up causing Allen to get more upset. They end up walking back to the in they were at and as they walk Allen gets lost in what if someone else had been on the mission with him.

End of last chapter:

I finally cleared my throat, it seemed like ages, however it was under half a minute. 27 seconds of silence. I responded in a neutral voice, "We will go back to HQ and have Komui look at you. We'll see what he says, alright?" I watched Allen as he nodded and I sucked in a deep breath. 'Let's hope this works'

"Let's try walking with you holding onto my arm. That way you won't fall and you can get used to how it's like." I suggested, Allen nodded. He seemed to like having someone else take charge. I knew he must have a lot going through his mind.

Allen

I didn't realize I was even holding onto Lavi's arm until he mentioned it. It was almost a subconscious action. Actually, it probably was. My mind had realized I needed something to steady myself against while adjusting to this, hopefully not permanent, situation. It was a strange feeling walking. Each step I took seemed to be like it was on quicksand. It felt like every step I took the ground sunk deeper but when expecting for that the ground came up too soon. I needed to keep walking though. Even if that walking was more like stumbling.

I was very clumsy at first and I almost took both Lavi and I when I thought the steps were more than they actually were. I was lucky that I had Lavi. I would have been left behind because of being too much of a limitation if I was with Kanda. Or he would help me but in the most verbally abusive way. Actually on second thought Kanda wouldn't be the most verbally abusive. There were other much finer examples. However of the people I could be stuck on a mission with, Kanda would be a really bad choice. Lenalee would blame it on me because of coming up with the idea of splitting up. If I was with Miranda or Krory on the other hand, we wouldn't have split up. But if we did Miranda would be the best bet, she would've been able to reverse my eyesight issues, at least until we could get back to our rooms. Krory would also have been good he would help me get back like Lavi, but I'd bet he'd have been sweet talked into getting some handy-dandy "remedy".

I wasn't sure how long it took to get back to our room in town but we were able to, which I found surprising. I also found out it was easier to get lost in thoughts when not having eyesight. I wondered if this was what it was like for Marie. I was grateful Lavi helped me sit on the bed, because when I had attempted to sit on my own I had almost ended up on the floor. Lavi told me to stay put while he contacted HQ. I couldn't tell what time it was but there was an ache in my body to just be able to see. I wished there was a way to will it back but it seemed there was no way for that. A distraction, that's what I needed. "Timcanpy?" a questioning call escaped my lips. However where ever Timcanpy was it wasn't anywhere near as no Tim started fluttering around me. Even without Timcanpy here Tim still provided an escape from focusing on time passing as I was left to ponder where Tim could be.

When my thoughts eventually stopped I noticed the silence and the emptiness of room. It seemed to grow around me, the silence making it seem like I was in a void space where nothing but me existed. My muscles seemed to twitch, my body aching for me to move to do something, to fight. The lack of thoughts was actually just a lacking of what seemed like a connected series of thought flowing through my mind. I was thinking, but about nothing and yet everything at the same time and each new one rushed like a raging stream carried away before I could delve into it for much longer. I tried to quell the rushing water but the more I tried the more my body longed to move, while I longed to be able to focus on one singular thing.

My muscles could have been soothed by a walk outside, but a run would be more relieving. But where could I run if I couldn't see? I wanted to work. But it seemed there was nothing I could do. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. If I could silence my mind like the silence that ebbed away at my body… I turned. Maybe if I talked… but there wasn't anyone inside the room. Nothing. I was trapped in the room but even more so I was trapped inside of myself. I was a bird, a robin, trapped… caged in my body. But if there was something to do, if I could just see I could calm and then maybe my breath would return to me. If I could relax… if I could just sleep… The more I thought the more awake and tired I felt. When would Lavi get back? Lavi was always the talkative one and with his constant droning on and on it would be so easy just to sleep. His voice would easily fill the dead air inside the room and turn it lively.

Several minutes passed and the bird in my chest wouldn't stop nor the ache in my muscles so I stood shakily. The shaking wasn't of lack of confidence or of weakness, it was a shaking, almost vibrating, that showed my bodies eagerness to wear itself out. After a few steps I realized I could get something to quench the thirst I hadn't known about prior. I tried to call up a mental picture of the layout of the room and as I moved about it soon came again. Of course the Picture hadn't come until after I had whacked my leg on several pieces of furniture, Though it wasn't like I was one to randomly memorize my surroundings without good reason to so I had to give myself a little credit on the fact I could call up an image at all. The fact neither Lavi nor Tim were here was in a way lucky, with their absence I was free to curse my head of anytime I rammed a leg into a bed or desk or walked into a wall.

In the end I did get the damned glass of water and gulped down the cool water feeling it run down my throat and after several glasses I felt at peace with the silent room and so did the small bird in my chest. Just in case I would need more water later I poured another glass, after washing my face. I ended up making it back without any more self-injury and I sat quietly. It wasn't long before impatience caught the best of me and I stood. I found my way to the other side of the room I pulled of gloves which were hindering my touch and threw to where I assumed the corner of the room was and then felt along the wall till my fingers felt something cool protruding from what I assumed was the window. I undid the latch and felt the cool from the air. It must've turned evening. As there wasn't a lot of sound coming from outside, however there was some and it helped. I wandered around and found a chair I had hit with my shin and moved it to the window and sat down in it.

The door opened and I realized I must've fallen asleep. "Lavi?" I questioned, and the smell of food hit my nose.

It was Italian food distinguished from the enjoyable smell. My stomach grumbled and growled at me letting me know that I had needed the food.

"Yep" Lavi states in his normal happy carefree voice. "They were serving Italian food, Imma go down and grab some more. Want me to help you to the table?" he seemed patient with me, calm and relaxed. Comforting. I sighed and closed my sightless eyes and nodded pushing myself up into a standing position. I heard Lavi set things down on what I assumed was the wooden table in the room and then his footstep, indicating that he had his boots on, lead over by me. The table wasn't much of a table, if memory served me right and instead it was a desk type piece of furniture. I visualized it when we had first walked into the room. The dim light above shinning onto the dark finished wood, swirls in the wood of a dark tan with red orange tint in it caught my eye. It was study having thick legs, and the top was smoothed though the treated wood was in unequal widths. Above it was a painting; of a lake shown like the viewer was standing on the bank looking out at the scene. On the left bank there was huge bolder like rocks of varying sizes surrounded by evergreen trees, on second thought it was an inlet like place. Mountains were in the background disappearing into fluffy white and gray clouds. By the trees it was dark scenery like it was raining. However it looked relaxing. However on the right side was further back smooth light colored mountain the sky peaceful yet dark storm clouds were there. When Lavi's steps are drawing nearer I snap back. I hear him get close and almost feel his presence. His hand touches my arm and holds it like he would hold a child, and I walk with him, but I dislike him doing that, treating me so insignificantly. I walk with him and it isn't long till we reach the table.

"What did you get, it smells delicious?" I state and inhale deeply catching a bit of orange garlic cheese and bread. Feel around for a fork and knife.

"It's some Padania with prosciutto and fontina, a loaf of garlic bread, some Tricolor Salad and then olive oil cake." Lavi pauses briefly in talking and I hear the sound of opening of foil and the garlic smell gets a lot stronger.

To fill the silence that seems a bit awkward I ask a question. "Mmm, does it look pretty?"

"Yeah Al, it does" Lavi states and turns. "Hey I'll be right back I'm just going to grab the rest." I gasp.

"There's more? Ahh, Lavi.. you're the best!" I hug his waist and feel Lavi's hand briefly tousle the white strands and then the warm hand leaves and moves to push off my arms, I get the idea and let go.

"I'll be right back, moyashi." His footsteps move to the door and I pout.

I can't tell if he saw or not but I hope he hears the pout my voice. "Not a moyashi." I state and turn to the food.

I hear the door open after I've successfully speared a piece of antipasto and put it in my mouth chewing. I had some of the honey cured ham and I guessed I had stabbed some provolone cheese and some random pickled vegetable, the vinegar taste was light but it made a nice contrast. I delved into the food that Lavi gave. The antipasto was the first to go, with it's variety of olives, pepperoni and other meats cured in various things, cheeses of all kinds some smooth and creamy some sharp and some hot. I took all of its mouthwatering flavors in and relished in them. Next to go was the Italian Flatbread called Padania, I had it on many occasions and found the chef's choice on just fontina and prosciutto a but depressing and drab. The olive oil cake had the subtleties of orange and vanilla, I couldn't quite place the other flavors it brought to the meal, The tricolored salad was supposed to look pretty and I felt depressed when I couldn't see it. But in a way it left my mind open to all possibilities of fancy presentations, the parmesan and slices of cut up beets a tiny bit of lemon juice sprinkled in. It was a total surprise as I had only expected the normal balsamic vinegar, pepper, and olive oil dressing.

Once I've finished the food brought to me I'm back to waiting however I distract myself with trying to remember the room. The two toned, charcoal gray and moss green gray room, the light colored wood separating the two colors, the lighter moss-green-gray ontop, the charcoal slightly blue tinted gray on the bottom, the window… my mind is drawn back to the painting. The meaning, the painter's message. When everything looks good it has darker days soon to come and when the dark days are upon us it will soon work the problems out and everything will go back to calm peaceful days. Or was the message that even the dark has some light and the light some dark?

The door creaks open and I hear footsteps I recognize as the friendly red head bookman exorcist enter in the room, the door shuts and he walks over. "Make sure to save some for me!" he teases and I laugh "I dunno rabbit boy, I thought you ate like a bird." The teasing lightheartedness of the night helps me when I drift off to sleep. It comforts me. I can be strong enough to see this through, I just have to get to the order and Komui will find a way to fix them.

Rewrite finished: 09/17/2016 upload: 01/05/2017