Chapter Sixty-Three

Standing at the foot of his bed, Leah watched Trapper breathing, comforted, at least a little, by the steady rise and fall of his chest. She looked intently at the screens surrounding him emitting discordant lines, flashes of light and bleeps of sound. Even though Gonzo said he was out of danger, she would feel no better until Trapper opened his eyes. She couldn't yet put a name on the feeling that was gnawing at her insides.

Quietly moving to the side of the bed, dropping the rail and pulling a chair close, she sat down, moved her arm out of the sling that held it and touched his hand. It felt cold to her, so she very carefully tucked it underneath the blanket that covered him, leaving her fingers entwined in his.

Laying her head on the pillow next to his, she lightly stroked his beard with the back of her fingers as she began to silently weep with sudden understanding, her tears soaking into the pillow. "I don't know what's more terrifying," she whispered. "Seeing you shot or realizing how much I love you." She righted her head and looked closely at his face. In that brief moment after the words 'I love you' came out of her mouth, did she see the corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly? "John?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

"It's just a little too soon, I think," said a voice from behind her she didn't recognize.

Sitting up, Leah wiped her face and turned, and when she saw Melanie McIntyre standing inside the curtain surrounding Trapper's bed, she stuttered. "I'm…sorry…Mrs. McIntyre. Did the hospital call you?"

Taking a deep breath, Melanie said, "No. I saw it on the news. I think he's changed his emergency contact information. "They said you were injured, too. Are you all right?"

Leah was surprised at the constant smile Melanie wore. "I'm fine. It seems the sniper got two for one," she answered, carefully patting the bandage around her arm. "Has anyone told you anything?"

"Not yet. The reporter said that he was in surgery, and I think I can assume it was successful," she said, pointing to Trapper lying on the bed.

Leah uncomfortably crossed her arms. "The bullet went all the way through and got me in the arm. Dr. Gates said it nicked one of his arteries." Leah stifled the need to cry. "It missed his heart by only an eighth of an inch." She noticed the smile disappear as Melanie moved her hand to cover her mouth. It seemed this woman still had feelings for her ex-husband.

"Oh my," said Melanie. "That was too close, wasn't it?" Nodding, Leah looked back at Trapper for a moment to gather her wits about her. "You've had a long day," said Melanie, her smile back in place. "Why don't you let me buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Thank you, but I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up."

"Oh, he won't be. They'll baby him here like he's the most important person in this hospital." Leah gave her a hesitant look. "They're going to run you out of here as soon as he's awake to get him ready to move to a room. Trust me."

Taking one more long look at Trapper, Leah finally nodded agreement and followed Melanie out of recovery and to the elevator. "The cafeteria coffee is much better than this vending machine stuff," said Melanie as she led the way into the cafeteria. Both women went to the coffee makers and prepared their cups, and once paid for, they opted for an outside table.

"Mrs. McIntyre…"

"Please call me Melanie."

Leah smiled, though uneasily. "How much did you hear back in the recovery room?"

"What I heard doesn't matter. What I see tells the entire story. I knew Trapper was taken with you that first time I met you. I can see now the feeling is mutual."

"I wasn't really sure until now." Sitting back in her chair, Leah reverted to her outspoken self. "To tell you the truth, after both times I've met you now, I feel like the other woman. You still love him."

Melanie crossed her legs and sat back with her coffee cup in her hand. Pushing her bottom lip up, she nodded. "I'll always love him. We had two beautiful children together, and he and I had some very good times. But there's a big difference between you and me. You have an established career, and Trapper is proud of you…of what you do. My career was my children, and once they were gone, I needed to…I don't know…find myself as they say. The good times were good, but the bad ones were…infuriating. He can be impossible sometimes. Then again, I suppose I can, too."

Leah laughed remembering how she and Trapper met. Infuriating was a very accurate description.

"I suppose my biggest frustration…the one that pushed us over the edge…was the demands of his job." Leaning forward, Melanie pointed to herself. "I felt like I was the other woman, only there wasn't another woman!" She smiled, leaning back again, relaxing at the smile Leah was now wearing. "I think what works for you and Trapper is that you've been on equal footing from the beginning. He has his demanding job, and you have yours. On top of that, your jobs are here at the same place."

"That won't always be true necessarily. I have a contract to install the new computer system. After that, I move on and turn it over to a new staff CIO."

"He hasn't asked you to stay?"

"Uh…no. I'm not sure he would."

Melanie opened her mouth and nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I'd better get going. I came over on a late lunch break. Would you tell him I'll come by to see him tomorrow?"

"Of course."

Taking the last sip of her coffee, Melanie rose to leave. "Ciao."

Leah smiled as Melanie walked away, but her smile slowly faded. What would I say if he asked me to stay? She stood to go back into the hospital and quickly remembered how much she ached, so instead of going back to recovery, she found a soft chair in the surgical waiting room and dropped into it, propping her elbows on her legs and bowing her head into her hands.

It wasn't long before Gonzo came in looking for her. "Are you all right?" he asked, standing in front of her and looking down.

At first, she laughed, but her laugh slowly turned into a sob as she shot up out of the chair and limped around Gonzo in a circle. "My foot hurts, and I can't even shift it in his cast, my arm feels like it's having its own mini-fireworks show, my chest hurts, and on top of all that, Trapper could have died. Despite all the security precautions, they shot him."

Gonzo had never seen Leah lose it…had never suspected that she would ever lose it, but in this case it appeared there was much more at stake…the heart that had closed so completely upon the death of her family had opened and been faced with the possibility of the same kind of pain. He took her by her arms and pulled her into him, letting her cry on his shoulder. "He's fine, Leah. He's awake, and we're getting ready to move him to a room. But before you see him, I want to take a look at you. You said your chest hurts. Did something happen up on the helipad that made your chest hurt?"

"Trapper fell on me and knocked the breath out of me. I'm probably just bruised."

"I want to take a look to be sure that's all it is. I need to take a look at your arm, and I want to do some blood work again."

Taking a deep breath, Leah argued. "You just did blood work and gave me a dose of antibiotics a couple of days ago."

He turned her toward the elevator and put his arm over her shoulders. "That was all before you got shot and had Trapper land on you. You know your condition puts you at greater risk as well as I do, so stop arguing and listen to your doctor."

"Can I just see him before you start poking holes in me?"

"I'll do one better than that," said Gonzo, winking and smiling. He walked her to the nurse's desk on the fourth floor where Gloria was working and Ernie was completing Trapper's chart. "Is he settled yet?"

"He's resting comfortably, but I don't understand why you ordered a semi-private room," said Gloria.

Gonzo smiled. "Let's just say it's for a little mental and emotional health care. Gloria, would you admit Leah? We're going to be keeping her overnight for some tests. You can put her in the other bed in room 408."

Looking up from her paperwork, Ernie said sternly. "You know that's against hospital rules."

"Nothing will come of it if the patients don't complain. Besides, Trapper isn't going to feel like doing much of anything for the next few days, and by that time, Leah won't be a patient, and you can move him to private room."

"Gonzo, you don't have to break the rules for me," said Leah, bowing her head tiredly.

Gonzo snorted. "And just where will you be when I'm through poking holes in you?"

"Well…" She sighed and nodded.