Chapter 16

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

Good times for a change

See, the luck I've had

Can make a good man turn bad

So please, please, please

Let me, Let me, Let me

Let me get what I want

Cato must have transferred the primrose from his pocket of his jeans he wore this morning to his training uniform.

I desperately wish that he hadn't.

The training room goes eerily silent, except for my erratic heart.

I wonder if everyone can they hear that, though, because I swear I could hear the sound of a pin drop.

His eyes quickly search the training room, finally resting on my face at the top of my tree.

My eyes lock with his, and I can see all of his emotions clearly in his eyes.

Panic. Fear. Shock. Hurt. Horror. Pain?

I don't take my eyes away from his, and neither does he.

He glances quickly at something off to the side, and nods to whatever, or whoever it is, and I follow his gaze.

It's Haymitch.

Were they having a silent conversation?

Haymitch appears stoic in his chair, so I look back to Cato and make eye contact again.

His face is indifferent but he has apology in his eyes as he stares back at me, guilt also in them.

But for what?

People notice our silent staring.

I hear the careers' snickering , and I tear my gaze from Cato's ocean blue eyes to see their amused, pitiless faces.

"Oh, I see. You have a thing for her. You have a sick, twisted, thing for that rat Primrose Everdeen." I flinch at the sound of my name from Wilco's lips.

"Tell us, were there..." He pauses for dramatic effect, "sparks?" Wilco spits, ending the joke with a maniacal laugh.

Ha, good one Wilco, using my nickname against me. You're truly hilarious with your charming wit, I think, wishing he could hear my thoughts.

God I hate the whole 'Spark of Panem'/'Girl on Fire' thing.

I don't want to see Cato's reaction.

I've never heard Wilco or his district partner speak. I hadn't really noticed them much, they kept to themselves during training, and hadn't left and impression at opening ceremonies.

When I look at Wilco, the word that comes to mind is grimy.

His long red hair is slicked back with gel. Like he used the whole bottle. It collects at the base of his neck, and I imagine that not even a punch could make his hair move with the amount of gel he used.

He has green eyes, but they're not alluring like Finnick's. They're intimidating and make you want to look away. He's less than average height for being a boy and for his age, I'm estimating 5'6", and he's fit but not muscular like Cato or even Marvel.

His district partner, Lana, just glares at everybody, not muttering a single word. But the careers have accepted her as a part of the alliance nonetheless. She has short brunette hair and catlike blue eyes. She's taller than me, but that's not surprising, because everybody but Rue is. She has visibly toned arms and legs that make you want to back away, if her glare doesn't already.

I haven't glanced in their direction yet, but I remember their faces and figures from memory after Wilco speaks.

"Prim, we should get down." Rue says softly.

My fingers are locked in place around the branch I'm holding onto, as if it's holding me to the world. In a way, it is. Since if I let go, I fall thirty feet down, and I'm crushed.

I look below me, and see Eli climbing down already, wanting to get out of the tree.

I know the feeling.

Everybody heard what the careers were saying. They weren't quiet about it. It's not like they're subtle about anything.

Rue is already climbing down swiftly, halfway there in less than a minute.

I follow quickly, and I make it down to the floor just when Eli does. That's when I hear his voice, but his face is hidden behind my back. Good thing, too.

"Please. The little girl? She's weak. Have you even seen the little twig? She's filthy, even for district twelve." I flinch at Cato's icy career voice, not wanting to imagine his face.

I quickly look to Haymitch, who is standing in front of his chair, having just gotten up.

It looks like he's about to move towards me, but thought better of it.

He's looking at me with pity and sadness, not knowing what to do, obviously hearing every word.

Finnick is frozen in his seat, his golden skin slightly red with rage.

Is it at Cato or his own tribute, Wilco?

My back is still turned to Cato, my legs frozen where I stand.

I don't feel his eyes on me once.

I'm not sure what emotion my face betrays as Cato continues speaking, "She's the equivalent of a sewer, Wilco. As is her district. She gave the flower to me. She said she has feelings for me. Even kissed me. I felt like I was choking on coal dust." He says mockingly as he joins in the others laughter, and I feel wetness on my cheek, but I hadn't even realized I was crying.

Are these cruel words true? Had he thought I was the equivalent of a sewer as he gave me my first kiss? It didn't feel that way to me.

I unconsciously touch my lips, running my fingers over the spots where his lips touched my "filthy" ones.

"She's mine in the arena. She deserves to die by my hands only," Cato says fiercely. I flinch at the coldness of his words.

I feel a hand grasp my arm, wrapping all the way around it.

This contact makes me snap out of my trance. I look down at the hand, and see the dark skin and large hand. It's Thresh.

I yank my arm from his grasp, not looking at his face.

I wipe the tears away, and I promise myself that I won't shed any more.

I have never been so hurt in my entire life. Nobody has ever said such hurtful things to me before. Not even town children.

Usually in district 12 there is a division between Seam and Town, but I made friends with everyone!

I ball my hands into little fists, and with clenched teeth, I walk up to Haymitch's sympathetic face.

"May I please go to the knife station?" I am trying not to cry, but my voice breaks and he must hear it, so he just nods.

I turn my back to him, and just walk over to where Clove is.

This station is about 30 yards from Cato and Wilco, so it's easy to ignore them at the hand to hand combat station.

"Whatever, man. Your kill," Is Wilco's reply. I hear the malice and approval in his voice as I pick up the knife, balancing and determining the weight. I don't feel Cato's eyes on me once.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

I wonder what sick hate-filled emotion is in them.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

He was playing me all along.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

I should have known!

He had to have been telling the truth when he spoke those words.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

You can't just come up with cruel words like that if you haven't thought of them before.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

If only I had seen his eyes. I would've known if he were really lying. What was it he had said? 'I trust your eyes'... I feel the same way.

Inhale, draw back. Exha-

"Prim! Wait for me!" I can't hear Rue's footsteps but I suddenly feel her presence beside me.

I stopped mid throw, and finished exhaling without throwing my knife into the target.

Clove silently stalks off, but I don't stop her, nor do I care.

I feel Cato's gaze on me when Rue shouts my name, and do my best to ignore the warm feeling it spreads through me. I repress the urge to look in his eyes, to see whatever emotion is playing in them.

I turn to look at the little girl's worried face, attempting a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. If it does, she doesn't say anything.

"You never said you were so good with weapons." She gives me a small smile, but her eyes are filled with worry and concern.

It makes my heart flutter that she cares so much.

"I'm not supposed to be showing them to anybody. I just needed to..." Blow off steam? Punch something? Kill Cato? "I don't know. I'm sorry for running away or frightening you, Rue."

They flickered to something behind me, and I can only guess that it's Cato. I sigh, wishing that I could sneak a peek too.

When she looked back at me she smiled, "It's all right Prim. I understand. Maybe you could teach me something?"

My stomach lurched.

I couldn't imagine this little girl holding a knife! Or ever having the need to! She practically screams innocent.

But I don't want her to be defenseless either. She needs to be able to protect herself.

The idea of Rue holding a knife is preposterous... I imagine the knife immediately falling out of her hand because of its weight.

But Rue is tougher than she looks. She may look fragile, but she's not. That's how it is with us "filthy" less fortunate districts. We're tough as nails.

Her eyes are hopeful for my answer, and I'm about to open my mouth to speak when it closes shut again.

What do I say?

Yes? No?

I don't want to disappoint her with the wrong answer.

I repeat the movement when I'm saved by Thresh's tall form walking right up beside her.

My sigh of relief causes him to smile, he must have heard our conversation.

"Hey. Rue, I think Eli wanted help climbing a spruce tree. Something about thinner branches?" He says with a questioning look.

She nods her head and waves goodbye.

When she leaves he turns his full attention on me.

Ah. I see. He just wanted us alone to talk to me.

I turn away from his accusing and pitying eyes to my target.

I pick up the knife again and begin throwing.

"Prim," He starts off a little unsteadily, hesitantly.

Inhale, draw back. Exhale, release.

I hear his intake of breath. Maybe he wasn't expecting the knife to actually hit the center of the target.

"Prim." He says it loudly this time, and clear. Obviously with confidence and no longer hesitant in addressing me.

"Yeah, Thresh?" I sigh while grabbing another shiny knife. I know what's coming. His lecture or whatever on what happened with Cato. At least that's what I was expecting ten seconds ago.

"Are you all right?"

I was about to draw back when I stopped and turned to look at him. His face is full of concern. For me. Not for his ally or enemy, but for his friend.

It sends a warm feeling through me, that the feeling of friendship between us is actually mutual. I always thought he only thought of me as an ally. That he was only being nice out of necessity for Rue. But the look in his chocolate eyes tells me otherwise.

I smile reassuringly at him, "Nothing I won't be able to handle."

The bell that signals lunchtime shrills throughout the room.

I feel Cato's eyes on me once again. I use as much strength as I can to not inspect them for whatever emotions are harboring there.

I set down the knife and instead grab Thresh's hand. "I think it's lunchtime. Are you ready?"

We walk silently to collect Rue and Eli, and then make our way to eat lunch.

They try to lift my mood during the meal, but Cato's words had crushed me. It wasn't exactly the words, but if HE believed them.

We sat a few tables away from the careers, and Haymitch and Finnick joined us.

I avoided looking at anything but the career table and Callan at all costs, so I was extra perceptive of everyone else.

I noticed that Farrah, or Foxface as I like to call her, from district 5, kept looking curiously our way. She was one of the only tributes who wasn't hostile at the opening ceremonies, and didn't draw any attention to herself. She has bright red hair that is pin straight and shoulder length, with crystal blue eyes. She has the same pale skin as I do, but with a slight agile body. If I were to see her in the arena I don't think we could possibly be enemies.

I kept to myself at lunch and didn't join in with the chatter at our cheery table.

I was people watching, and everyone seemed slightly nervous for the obstacle course and the evaluation today. Myself definitely included.

I ate my vegetable soup slowly, savoring each spoonful and pondering what I would do for the Gamemakers. Still undecided.

Before I knew it, Haymitch was prodding me out of my thoughts.

"Rosie. C'mon. It's time for the obstacle course." He has a worried look on his face. I haven't spoken with him since the Cato incident.

I know that he shared the look with Cato, and I want to know why.

I just nod my head and get out of my chair, leaving my soup on the table to follow the others.

"We've never done an obstacle course before. Or heard of it happening before," Finnick says thoughtfully.

"Maybe it's a new tradition," Rue suggests in her sweet voice.

"I bet you're right, sweetheart," Haymitch agrees. I feel that he's already as taken with her as I was. Throughout lunch, everybody was conversing with her nonstop, completely taken with her innocence and character. I would have done the same, but the feeling of Cato's gaze boring into my back every few minutes was... distracting.

Sighing, I continued my pace with the group as Finnick and Haymitch left so they could observe.

Atala was waiting for everyone in front of a door I hadn't noticed before. We were about the last ones to arrive so we were at the back of the huddled group.

"Welcome. We will enter through this door in a single file line in order of district number, ladies first. Follow me." Atala's clear voice announces.

We all arrange ourselves according to her instructions, with Haymitch and Finnick tagging along in the back.

Glimmer enters the obstacle room first, and I can hear her gasp from here, the very back of the line.

Thresh is directly in front of me, so naturally his tall stocky figure blocks any view I might have until I can walk through the door. Eli is behind me, so he will see last.

As we enter, I hear the tributes whispering and muttering and gasping in awe of the course.

The anticipation is killing me!

"I wonder what's got their panties in a knot," Finnick mutters from behind me.

District 10 is entering now and soon it'll be me.

I can't see Rue because of Thresh, but because of her gasp, I can imagine her wide-eyed expression. Thresh enters the room and then I have a clear view.

I can feel my own mouth forming an 'o' shape, but I keep it from making any noises.

I wasn't expecting the size of the room to be so large. The walls and floor are grey cement and even though I'm not touching them I know that they're cold. The actual architecture of the obstacle course is what was shocking. It looks complex and confusing from here, and it fills the whole room. There are people who I assume to be assistants scattered around the course holding objects and weapons with stoic expressions on their faces.

I hear Eli gulp behind me, and then a whispered, "Oh shit."

I know I should reprimand Finnick for his curse but I can't because he's just speaking my thoughts.

"This is just going to exhaust them before their evaluation," Haymitch grumbles.

Just what I need. To fall asleep during my evaluation and get a terrible score! I mentally groan.

We are all lined against the wall, and I see Rue's eyes wide with excitement, flitting curiously around the vast room.

This must be like a playground to her. It can be exactly that to me, too.

"A guide will run the course beforehand as an example to you. Pay close attention because it will only be done once. There will be assistants throughout the course who will try to attack you. You must defend yourself while you are completing the course, and you must block their advances while being timed. The course features stealth, agility, endurance, strength, but most of all it focuses on your mentality. You'll see why shortly. This obstacle course will be apart of your scoring. Good luck, tributes."

It hasn't even started yet and I'm on the verge of hyperventilating.

Part of my scoring?

Why hadn't they informed us?

Oh no no no! My score is ruined!

But mentality? What does she mean mentality?

Take deep breaths, Prim.

Inhale, exhale.

Inhale, exhale.

I close my eyes tightly and press my fingers to my temple, massaging the dull ache that is beginning to form.

"We're going about this differently, per Mr. Crane's orders. We'll be starting with District 12 and ending with District 1. The guide will begin now." Atala ends her speech, and might as well be ending my life.

Oh how I wish she were!

I snap my eyes open, eager to watch the guide's actions because I need to pay close attention.

Ladies are always first. Meaning that I'm going to be the first contestant.

Oh please help me.

The guide hasn't even stepped up yet so I search for Haymitch's face. Or Finnick's. Just somebody!

I meet Haymitch's familiar Seam eyes that give me immediate comfort.

He is obviously worried, but just seeing him relaxes me. I wish that I could run up to him and hug him, but I keep my feet planted in my spot, not drawing attention to myself.

His eyes dart to the course and back to me, basically saying "Watch, Rosie," so I do.

The guide steps up to the complicated maze. He begins at a slow pace, and I follow his form. He looks fit, and goes through the movements and obstacles easily. He jumps, hops, skips, avoids assistants, and so forth.

My eyes do not dare to leave his form.

The course took him four minutes and 37 seconds for his perfectly fit body.

Before I know it, he's finished, not even haven broke a sweat.

My eyes are trained on the guide, walking towards Atala, who has a clipboard in hand.

"Primrose Everdeen, District 12."

Everyone's eyes are on me. But I only really feel Cato's.

I look to Haymitch for comfort, and his eyes do just that and give me a nod of encouragement.

I step up to the course, waiting for Atala to say it's time to begin.

My palms are sweating in nervousness, and all eyes are on me.

I mainly feel his gaze between me shoulder blades. his gaze is what makes me tremble in fear.

I look above me at the platform to the Gamemakers who are intently observing me. I can easily pick out Seneca Crane, with his sneer and groomed beard. I'm not sure how I know it's him, but I just know.

I look back at the course in front of me, at the jumps and steps, winds and bends.

I try to remember the way the guide had weaved through everything; his body was large, so speed wasn't a particular asset.

That's something that I have on my side.

If he had been faster, he could have gotten through the course quicker and the jumps, bends, winds, steps, obstacles, and assistants with weapons would have been much easier to handle.

I take a deep breath to clear my mind and prepare myself, to calm my nerves.

Everyone's eyes are on me now. I know which ones are most important: the Gamemakers. But the only ones I can think about are Cato's.

"1...2...3...GO." Atala shouts.

I sprint though the course, my tiny legs jumping through or over the obstacles. It really is a maze, and I am struggling to remember the way the guide had done it.

I weave the course, trying to avoid the weapons. And I surprisingly manage to.

My speed makes up for my lack of strength, and I understand what Atala had meant about "mentality". It really is a mind over matter situation. You just have to push through it and not give up. It is a physical course, but anybody, even the weakest, youngest tribute, will be able to handle it.

I'm now increasing momentum, and I'm at an impressive pace for someone my size and especially from my district.

I'm halfway through the course when an unexpected assistant jumps out. Except it isn't technically unexpected. It had jumped out at the guide during the example, I had just forgotten it was a surprise attack.

The assistant is holding some sort of pipe, and he tripped me as I was sprinting, hitting my shins with extreme force.

My speed had not helped the attack, so when I had fallen, the breath felt like it was forced from my lungs in a large whoosh.

I fell on my hands and knees, except most of my weight had gone on my right wrist, causing a great amount of pain.

A small yelp escaped my lips before I could stop it, and I heard snickering from some of the tributes in the background.

I'm breathing heavily, and not even a few seconds has passed when the same assistant attacks again with the pipe, this time hitting the back of my left thigh with the pipe.

This causing me to whimper, but I refuse to cry in front of my enemies.

Is this what is supposed to happen? I mean I know they're supposed to attack you but multiple times?

"Prim!" Rue shouts. I ignore the little girl's worries for now.

I turn on my back, clutching my sprained wrist to my chest.

I'm supposed to defend myself. I'm supposed to attack and protect myself, Atala had said, and get through the course.

I think of Katniss, and everything she taught me about protection and defense.

The assistant has the pipe in his hand, poised to attack.

I make myself look weak, crumpled to the ground like I'm in terrible agony. I pretend. I'm pretty good at that. He probably isn't going to expect this Johanna Mason I'm pulling.

He's standing next to me, feet positioned right next to my ankles. Perfect.

I have to use all of my strength and my whole body to sweep his feet out from under him, making him fall to the ground on his back.

I don't want to injure him badly, so I don't bother to take the pipe and beat him, no matter how badly I want to.

I just finish running through the course, clutching my wrist to my chest tightly and attempting (unsuccessfully) not to limp.

I hear a few gasps and whispers after my stunt, and a "That's my Rosie!" from Haymitch and "Hell yes!" from Finnick.

I'll have to speak to him about his cursing problem later. I mean Rue is right there!

I do notice, however, that Cato's gaze never leave me the entire time. Even after I finish the course at 6 minutes 12 seconds. It gives me a warm feeling throughout my body but it also makes my blood boil.

Who gives him the right to look at me after saying those harsh words?

A medic looks at my hand to diagnose it and treat it, even though I already know it's a sprain, and then I'm released back to line.

I get a bunch of surprised congratulations from Eli, Rue, Thresh, Marvel, and even Clove. I even get a small smile from Farrah, which makes me the happiest.

Maybe she'll be interested in an alliance.

Everybody goes through the course, and everybody gets injured at least once. It's always at the surprise attack (because you never know where it's at or when) and/or somewhere else.

Eli got a very good time of 7 minutes and 4 seconds, but his forearm got sliced at a surprise attack. Thresh got 5 minutes and 49 seconds, and got a pipe to the gut at a surprise attack. Rue was the hardest to watch, got 10 minutes and 23 seconds, and had a knife wound on her chest and leg. Callan got 4 minutes and 57 seconds, and left with only a scratch on his thigh from a surprise attack. Farrah got 7 minutes and 44 seconds, with a bloody nose from a punch and a kick to the abdomen (both from surprise attacks). Wilco got 7 minutes and 35 seconds, and had a few bloody cuts from a knife. Lana got 6 minutes and 52 seconds, and had a few pipe wounds from a surprise attack. Cato got 5 minutes and 3 seconds, with a knife cut on his calf from a surprise attack. Clove got 6 minutes and 27 seconds, with only a few scratches from a hand to hand brawl with an assistant. Marvel got 7 minutes exactly, and made it out with only a bruise from a punch. Glimmer got 9 minutes and 39 seconds, with a bloody nose and bruised face from a pipe. Ouch.

Each and every injury was immediately treated and healed with expensive Capitol medicines.

Within seconds of treatment, there was absolutely no evidence of any injury, and no feeling of any pain.

None of us felt tired at all from the obstacle course like Haymitch originally predicted, so we all felt ready to go for our evaluations. Whatever medicine they gave us must have replenished our energy as well.

We are in a waiting room, and Clove is currently in her evaluation.

I still feel Cato's eyes on me, and I'm so desperate to read the emotion in them. But I don't want to fall into that trap. If I look now, I won't be able to look away.

So I look at anything but him. My knee is bouncing up and down, my heel tapping on the cement floor in anxiousness.

That's when the door opens.

"Cato Evins, District 2."

Immediately, my eyes flash to his on instinct. I instantly regret it because his are still looking straight at mine.

My eyes get lost in his icy blue ones. He doesn't try to hide his expression. He looks so guilty. Sad.

I feel bad for him, but I can't excuse the fact that he hurt me.

"Good luck." My voice sounds shaky and weak, quiet. But I know he heard me, even from across the room.

His eyes brighten at my words, and he nods his head, apparently not caring that we're in front of the careers or the other tributes.

"You too, Prim." He gives me a small, handsome smile, but big enough to make his eyes crinkle at the corners.

He stands up and walks through the door, and it clicks closed.

I release a breath I hadn't known I was holding, and my shoulders relax.

I hear a cruel chuckle and flinch at the sound, "How pathetic. The piece of dirt is basically in love with him. Looks like he feels that way too." Wilco is smiling evilly at me while speaking.

"Why don't you shut your mouth before you really regret ever opening it," Eli snarls.

I'm surprised by the amount of venom is in his voice, too, and the way he glares at Wilco.

Eli is sitting next to me, so I squeeze tighter onto his hand.

"Is that a threat, 12?" Wilco asks, anger drawn all over his features.

Lana rolls her catlike eyes.

Eli stands up, about to walk over to Wilco, and I have to squeeze tighter onto his hand so he won't leave me.

"Enough," A peackeeper shouts.

Everybody quiets down, but continues glaring.

Thresh, who is sitting on my other side, grabs my unoccupied hand.

One by one, tributes go into the evaluation room.

Hours later when Thresh enters, Rue takes his now empty seat, and grabs my hand, smiling at me comfortingly.

"Rue Caverly, District 11." Her smile falters only slightly, and her eyes lose their brightness, replaced by worry.

I stand with her and crush her into a hug, "Good luck, you'll do great. They'll love you." I kiss her cheek before she gracefully walks into the evaluation room.

I stand there for a few moments, not quite able to sit down yet. When I do, it's about 15 minutes before either of us speaks.

"Prim?" Eli asks.

"Yes?"

"I just want you to know that... I love you. And you're going to do great today. Show them everything about you, and they're bound to give you a good score." His grey eyes are bright and stormy against his pale skin, and he's smiling at me reassuringly.

He has the Seam look, with his dark hair and grey eyes, but his pale skin like mine is unique.

I return the smile, "Thank you, Eli. You have no idea how much that means to me. I love you too." I give him a grin.

"Elijah Grant, District 12." We both stand, and I wrap my hands around his middle, squeezing tightly.

"Good luck, Eli. Show them everything, right?" I pull back to give him what I hope is a smile.

"Right." He gives me a handsome smile and leans down to kiss my forehead before walking out to the evaluation room, leaving me terrifyingly alone.

I fidget. I bite my nails. I bounce my knees. I wring my hands together. I unbraid my hair. I braid my hair. I count the seconds that go by before I'm finally called. 578.

"Primrose Everdeen. District 12."

I take a deep breath and stand up from my metal chair to walk towards the evaluation room.

When I walk through the doorframe, it's basically a replica of the training room except slightly smaller. It has all of the supplies (weapons, stations, etc) scattered around the room. Lights are strewn around the room, making it bright.

Above is a platform with the Gamemakers seated comfortably, laughing and not paying any attention at all to me.

Anger threatens to surge through me but I ignore it as best as I can.

They are eating and drinking, talking to each other animatedly.

I wonder if they were like this to everybody, or just to the poor, unfortunate, lesser districts?

I make myself known to them, looking straight at Seneca Crane as I speak.

"Primrose Everdeen, District 12."

They all snap their groomed, dyed heads at me, just now noticing me.

Seneca looks me up and down with interest once, nods, "You may begin, Miss Everdeen." He smiles, but it seems fake, with what Haymitch has said about him before. Anger pulses through my veins before I can stop it.

I go to the knife station for 5 knives to stick in the center, the snare station for 2 dummies to hang upside down, the herb station to match every single one perfectly, the tree station to climb one in 30 seconds, and finally the archery station, to shoot 12 arrows straight in the center.

Seneca's eyes never leave me once, but everybody else's do. Nobody looks at me again after I state my name.

This irritates me.

I think of what Cinna had said, about me being the new 'Spark of Panem'.

So this and my anger give me inspiration.

I send my metal arrows flying one after another into the numerous bright light bulbs, creating sparks and silence from the Gamemakers. Like myself, there were sparks everywhere. I was creating sparks, capturing the Gamemakers' attention, and without my knowledge, the rest of Panem's as well.