Song: I'm Not That Girl
Artist: From the play "Wicked"
Characters/Pairing: Jane, DirkJake
"Oh heavens, I'm so terribly sorry for bumping into you!" Jane Crocker knelt down and hurried to pick up her things which she had dropped when she ran into the handsome youth. This said boy got down on his knees and began to help her.
"It's not a problem Janey," She glanced up at the tan boy. Her heart fluttered at the sight of his kind smile. Jake English was the perfect gentleman in her eyes. Heat swirled around in her cheeks and she looked down again, gathering papers in a messy stack. Jake handed her some more papers and their hands brushed together as she took them back. A jolt rushed through her at the contact, a tingling sensation trailing along after it. She looked up again in a daze and met his emerald eyes that twinkled with a hint of mischief and spirit. She held back a sigh that would have told him just how dreamy she thought he was.
When they had finished gathering up the scattered work, which wasn't very much, Jake stood and held out his hand to her. Gingerly she took it and he pulled her up with a grin. "Take care Ms. Crocker."
With nod he turned around and strode off. Jane watched him go wistfully, her heart sinking lower as she see's him joining up with Dirk. Her eyes trailed forlornly down their arms as they linked hands. With a small shake of her head she turned to leave in the opposite direction, her blue dress swishing around her legs and paper work tucked closely against her chest.
Poor little Jane Crocker had a crush on Mr. Jake English, but she had been too late to confess. And most of it had been her fault. She had gotten herself flustered and nervous to the point where she had said all the wrong things and persuaded the boy to take up dating their other mutual friend, Dirk Strider. The two had hit it off splendidly. She felt guilty every time she looked at them when she wished she could break them apart. After all, now that they had found each other she should be supportive of them, right?
Jane sighed heavily and kept her gaze downcast.
"It would be at this point in a movie where the heroin would sing a song, wouldn't it?" she mused aloud. "And then after that something miraculous will happen. Isn't that how the old cliche goes? Oh folly, why do I even bother?"
She huffs and veers off the path to walk along a low brick wall. Jane clambers up, cursing her short (and in her opinion, stubby) legs as she went. Then she proceeded with the lonesome cliche, not even bothering to care anymore.
"It's not like he'll somehow hear me and change his mind. I wouldn't be so lucky with a boy as dense as Jake can get," she muttered, throwing her free arm out to balance her. Slowly she began to hum the opening to her sad tribute. And then in a day-dreamy voice she quietly began to sing.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be tha-t boy, but I'm not that girl
She thought back to all the times she had watched him from afar. If only she hadn't been so frivolous and careless to let her feelings roam without any reigns to guide them. Maybe then she wouldn't be crying her heart out in a dumb cliched song.
Don't dre-am too fa-r
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be tha-t boy, I'm not that gi-rl
Jane stops and clutches the papers more tightly to her chest, a dull ache forming in her chest. She swallows hard only to find a lump had grown in her throat while she hadn't been looking. Just like these pesky feelings. She had been well off before meeting Mr. English. Her grades had been in tip-top shape, her priorities had been lined up in a neat little row like her ducklings, and most important of all she had been satisfied. It all seems so distant now, and she wonders where that version of Jane Crocker had gone.
Still, not all of loving him had been bad. There were times where she really did feel like they were connecting on a deeper level. What would have happened if she had been able to pull herself together and tell him how she had felt? Would it be them walking hand in hand, laughing, talking, gallivanting about and pursuing shenanigans? Would she have been able to kiss him? To feel his warm body against her own?
She shakes her head in discouragement.
Every so often we long steal
To the land of what might have been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in-
Laughter sounds from behind her and she steals a glance, knowing whom it belonged to. The corners of her lips tug down in a frown and tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. Jake and Dirk were wrapped in each other's arms, sharing a sweet and endearing embrace.
Blithe smiles, lithe limp
He who's winsome, he wins him
Gold hair with a gentle spike,
That's the boy he- chose
And heaven kno-ws
I'm not that girl-
Jane turns her head away from the happy couple, a cold feeling gripping her own heart. She should have known that Dirk would have won. Quietly she sets off again to get away from them.
If it weren't for her own blundering inabilities...
Maybe...
What if...
No...
She stifles a sniffle and reaches up to rub furiously at her eyes.
Don't wish
Her voice cracks.
Don't start
Wishing only ruins the heart
I wasn't born for the sword and the gun
There's a boy I- know,
He loves him so-
She hops down from the wall and sits down on a nearby bench. A tree hides her from view as a few unwanted, but well warranted tears slip down her cheek.
I'm no-t tha-t girl-...
Her shoulders quivered and her bottom lip trembled.
"Just a stupid cliche," she mumbled, reaching up to wipe the racing tears away.
*Cries because I know Jane. I know*
*ahem*
Well not that I got that depressing chapter out of my system...
Next chapter: Ukelelian (Feferi)