The dangers of Smoking
Part II
The dangers of smoking are widely known, by smokers and non smokers alike. Detective Sergeant James Hathaway knows them, accepts them and lives with them. Except one. No one thought to warn about that one did they?
Chapter 39
"And here was me thinking that your weakness was chocolate biscuits" Evie teased as they left the cinema, the final stop on their day in Oxford "It would appear pick and mix are a close runner"
James grinned at her, screwing the paper bag into a ball and tossing it into the nearest bin "I have a sweet tooth"
"Evidently" she laughed "Though quite how you managed to eat all that lot when you slept for half the film, I don't know"
He grimaced slightly "It wasn't really my thing" he admitted.
"I know" she smiled back "So thank you"
He shrugged lightly, laughing "The sacrifices I make..." he teased.
"Look" she said, half laughing and half serious "If we're going to...be...if this is going to work at all, you're going to have to 'dumb down' now and again"
He stopped, frowning deeply at her "What do you mean by that?"
"I know you'd have rather gone and listened to that talk on 'Modern Theology and it's place in the World today', than watch some silly comedy at the pictures" he listened carefully, there was no trace of mockery in her tone, she was being honest "But, I wouldn't have understood half of it James, I wouldn't have been able to discuss it with you afterwards, or have a debate because most of it would have probably baffled me"
He took a step back and eyed her "Do you think I'm that shallow?" he asked in a small voice.
"No!" she refuted "You're anything but shallow. But...well, you're going to have to accept that I'm nowhere near as intelligent as you, I think the mileage on my car is closer to your IQ than my own is. I went to a provincial uni, you went to Cambridge for God's sake"
"Do I do something?" he asked "To make you feel like this?"
"Of course not!" she said, embarrassed "But it's a fact isn't it?"
"I don't understand" he mused, almost to himself.
"People look at us James, and I can see it, in their eyes. What the hell is he doing with her? I'm just an ex nurse that works in a morgue and you...well you're you"
"What am I doing with you?" he echoed, his face confused. He was utterly shocked, he had not seen this coming in a million years.
"I wonder" she gave a small smile.
"I'm with you because I want to be" he replied in a flat tone "Because I like you, a lot. I thought the feeling was mutual"
"It is!" she protested.
"Then what's the problem?" he asked.
"Don't you find me boring?" she asked quietly, head on one side.
"Boring?!" he snorted in disbelief "I find you a lot of things Evie, but boring isn't one of them"
"Oh" she said, blinking at him.
"Oh?!" he repeated "That's it, oh?"
"I don't really know what else to say" she mumbled, cheeks flaming hot.
They walked a little way in silence, glancing at him now and again Evie saw he looked brooding, sad.
"I'm sorry" she said quietly "I didn't mean to upset you"
He flashed a smile, one that she had come to learn was utterly fake, and continued walking. There was only maybe 6 inches between them, but right now it may have well been 6 miles.
"James" she stopped and looked at him, she looked upset and he looked away, not wanting to see the look that he'd put on her face.
"I'm sorry" he said simply.
"We keep apologising to each other" she sighed "But I'm not sure we know what for"
"For whatever I have done to make you think like that" he replied.
"Nothing" she gave him a sad smile "It's just the person you are, you're way out of my league"
"Is this where you tell me that it's better in the long run?" he asked savagely, a sneer on his face as he felt his recent happiness, contentment, slipping away, he didn't want to go back to being lonely "That we wouldn't make each other happy anyway, and it's been fun an' all but...?!"
"No!" she defended "This is where I say that you are a wonderful person James, and that I never thought I could trust anyone enough again to get close to them, but with you, it's easy. One day you'll realise that it's not enough, that you need to be with someone that can understand the things you do, that can talk about the things you know about, on your level. Not someone like me, and I just don't want to get too hurt when that day comes"
"Someone like you?!" he looked astounded "It's not like you are a half wit Evie! You have a degree in nursing and pharmacology. You went to Kings for God's sake!"
"It's not the same" she said sadly "I can't have in depth discussions on the things that interest you, I don't understand them. You're scarily intelligent James, and I'm just normal, you need someone like you"
"Have you ever thought" he gripped her upper arms, making her face him "That I don't want to be with someone like that? Someone that competes with me? Someone that values my IQ above my commitment? That maybe all I want is comfort and acceptance? You don't understand me, I know that, I don't even understand myself half the time, but you accept me, for who I am. That is what 'I'm doing with you', have you considered that maybe, all I need is to be loved?!"
"You are, I love you" she said quietly through a sheen of tears.
He pulled her close and she rested her head onto his chest, he ducked his face into her hair, hiding from the emotions threatening to choke him.
"Then let me love you back" his tone was vulnerable, scared.
She pulled back, and he lifted his head. He ran the back of his hand across his face, but not before she'd seen the wetness there that matched her own.
"You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, and I have fallen in love with you" he told her "I've fought to keep my faith in various things, God, justice, life, love, myself. But I don't even need to wonder, to think about my faith in you, you give me so much Evie, so much, and you don't even realise"
She cupped his face with her hand, he meant it, she realised that. She meant it too, how she felt. She'd never felt truly safe for a long time, but she did with him, and couldn't remember a time when she hadn't. He treated her like a precious object, his words weren't ever intentionally hurtful, even when they didn't agree on something. He didn't take her lightly, a lot of people took her easygoing manner for granted, he never had.
"Let's go home" she whispered.
He smiled, and kissed her forehead "Good idea"
…...
"Goodness James" the priest beamed at him on Sunday evening after the band had finished "I knew you were good, but that was outstanding"
"Thank you Father" James replied, smiling himself, feeling lighter still at the praise he had received for his musical talents, something he had usually taken for granted.
"I sense a change in you" the priest continued "A good one"
James smiled again, but didn't comment, instead turning his attention to the gaggle of children that were gathering. The guitar tended to draw them to him. The other instruments were, he had heard, 'boring'. But the children of the congregation seemed awed that something as 'cool' as a guitar could be associated with the dusty old church they were dragged to once a week.
"That's a Gibson" one older boy breathed.
"Indeed she is" James replied.
"So cool" the boy said and James did something he never would have dreamed doing with his prized possession, the one thing he'd had through it all. He removed the guitar from the case and handed it to the boy.
"Careful" he warned "She's delicate you know"
The look of utter pleasure on the kids face was reward itself.
He spent some time showing them basic chords and a short melody before promising that he'd be there again, when work allowed, and would show them more.
The older boy beamed at him "Fanks Mister"
James grinned "Any time"
He sauntered back through Oxford's town. It wasn't late yet, but James rushed. He rushed because he had somewhere to be, someone waiting for him. He jangled the keys in his pocket with a smile, feeling the extra one on the bunch. Evie's key, the one she had given him.
"And use it" she'd told him "Those nights when you can't get away, when we were supposed to do something, or just be together, use it then. When you finish, because...well because I want you to"
He'd smiled and put the key on his keyring, saying that he'd get one of his own keys cut for her to have for emergencies. Clarifying emergency with a kiss that made her toes curl and a promise that he'd finish that when he got back, using his key.
And so he hurried slightly, shunning the thought that tomorrow reality would descend and he'd most certainly pay for his weekend off by having to pick through the pieces of his investigation done by another hand.
Then he realised that it had been utterly worth it.
...
Many, many thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites, I appreciate it very much. Much more to come, and yes, it has been nice to swerve away from crime for a couple of chapters but as some have astutely realised...There's a reason!