Sweet Nothings (Valentine's Day)

Two weeks ago, middle of the night, on an old couch in front of a bonfire, a blanket the only thing separating them. She could still feel the soft warmth of the flames and the gentle way he ran his thumb over her cheek. Spending the night like that had been more than enough for the both of them.

She didn't say any of that to the doctor, of course. She simply said, "Two weeks."

This added an extra twenty minutes to her appointment, along with the knowledge that she was pregnant. Again.

It wasn't surprising to her, not really. Matt was going to be three in November, and it made sense that they have more children; they'd both expressed the desire for them. Besides, she'd always wanted a large family. It had been quite lonesome for her when Emma had gone off to uni and she was still going to secondary school.

How was she going to tell Jamie?

He'd be happy…at least she thought he'd be. She wasn't going to hide it from him like last time, only to have it burst forth when the pressure of it was too great. He was going to be excited all over again, she knew that much.

So why was she so nervous?

She sat in one of the chairs in the living room, watching Matt play with his race cars. Jamie would be home from work soon; that was when she'd tell him. She'd wait a bit for him to relax, of course, maybe allow him to play with Matt before she said anything. Perhaps she should tell both of them at the same time? Matt would have to learn sooner or later, and she certainly didn't want him feeling upset about this -

"MAMA!"

She jumped a little, noticing for the first time that her son was tugging at the skirt of her dress. "Hm?"

"Mama, when's Daddy coming home? He said he'd be back later, and it's later now!"

"He'll be here in a bit, sweetie. Don't worry."

"He has to see what I can do with my cars!" He pulled two of them back, letting them go and watching giddily as they crashed into each other. "Isn't that funny?"

She smiled. "Yes, that's very funny."

"Mama? Are you okay?"

"Yes, Matt, I'm fine."

"Does your tummy hurt? You've been holding it aaaaaall day. Do you need some soup?"

"Mama's just fine, Matt." She ruffled his hair affectionately. "I'll be fine until dinner."

Matt clambered into her lap, kissing the fabric of her dress. "There, now it's all better."

Cathy giggled, holding her son closer. "Thank you, sweetheart. It feels much better now."

"Yaaaaay!" Matt snuggled into his mother's shoulder, yawning.

"You need another nap, Matt?"

"Noooo. I don't…want a nap." He yawned through his words. "Mama…I'm not…sleepy…"

"Just rest then. I'll wake you up when Daddy's home, okay?"

Matt was too tired to protest, and his breathing evened out after a few minutes. Cathy kissed his head, sighing heavily.

She was getting nervous all over again when she had no reason to be. She subconsciously tightened her hold on Matt, trying to find the perfect way to tell him and coming up short. She had to smile at how scared she was; it was almost as bad as when they'd first started dating.

Jamie had been terrified at first, even without the pressure of being in jail. It had taken her almost a month to get him comfortable. Even on their first Valentine's Day together, he'd been a bit skittish, and it had started to bother her slightly.

She regretted even suggesting they go out today. He was obviously not into it, at least not as much as he should have been. They hadn't even gone somewhere too public - they'd had lunch at the coffee shop where Jamie had submitted a job application, and they were now walking the back roads in silence.

"Jamie? Is everything okay?"

He jumped slightly. "Er…yeah. Fine. Just…thinking."

"Mm. About what?"

"You know…the weather." He nodded to the snowbanks on either side of the path. "It's nice for February, don't you think?"

"…I suppose so."

He nodded gruffly, looking at his feet and saying nothing more on the subject.

"Jamie, if you want to go home, that's fine. I can just call Emma to pick me up and -"

"No…no." He grabbed her hand. "I just…" He sighed, stopping. "This just feels…odd."

Cathy felt her heart sink. "How so?"

"I haven't really done something like this before. Not since…Mel." He swallowed hard. "And, um…you can be honest with me if I'm not being a good boyfriend. And if you…you don't think it's…you know…"

They stood in silence, snow beginning to fall softly around them. She found herself fighting back tears as she kept her voice level.

"You don't want to see me anymore, do you?"

"What? No! No, that's…I'm not breaking up with you, Cathy." He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. "I would never do that. I just want to know if I'm doing this right."

"What aren't you doing right?"

"Dating…being in love…that sort of thing."

Cathy frowned. "There isn't a right or wrong way to go about this, Jamie."

"Are you sure? Because I don't want you leaving me."

Her heart sank again, this time for a different reason. "What?"

Jamie paled, his voice just above a whisper. "I don't…I don't want to have to be afraid of you leaving. I know you won't. It's…hard, though." He shrugged. "That's what's happened to everyone I've been with."

She nodded. "You don't have to worry. I'm…I'm not going anywhere." She stuck out her hand, her pinkie finger outstretched. "I promise."

He blinked for a moment. "What are you doing?"

"Just give me your pinkie." She giggled as he hooked his pinkie with hers. "You never did this as a kid?"

"Never saw the point, really." He laughed. "But I guess I can go along with it."

"Why, thank you, James. I'm honored."

"You should be. I don't accept promises from anyone." He kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too. So much."

He pulled her into a hug, and they stood for a moment, snow quietly falling around them. Cathy suddenly pulled away, tugging him by the arms and laughing.

"What's got you so happy?"

"I've always wanted to dance in the snow." She let go of him, spinning around. "Just spread my arms and laugh and not worry about people thinking I'm odd for doing it."

"What if I said I think you're odd?"

She stopped, shaking her head. "I don't mind if you think it's odd, because I know you want to join me."

"Do I?" He arched an eyebrow, taking hold of her hands.

"Of course you do." She laughed again as he spun them around, the two of them dancing their way through the snowfall.

The sound of a car door reached her ears. Matt stirred in her arms, sitting up.

"Daddy's home!" He scrambled off the couch and to the door. "Daddy's home!"

"Matt, sweetheart, put your boots on! It's raining out."

"I will, Mama!" He pulled on his bright green rain boots and waited for his mother to open the door, scampering outside. "Daddy, Daddy, DADDYYYYY!"

Jamie was already soaked from the rain as he made his way up the walk. "Hey, Matt!" He knelt down, catching his son in a bear hug. "How my best bud?"

"You're all wet, Daddy!" Matt was quick to wiggle away from Jamie. "You look funny!"

"I look funny?" He frowned in mock offense. "How about you?"

"No, just you!" Matt giggled.

"You wanna know who looks funnier than me?" He smirked, walking toward the threshold where Cathy stood. "Your mum!"

Cathy barely had time to blink before Jamie yanked out into the rain, her hair and dress immediately sticking to her skin. She gasped as Jamie pulled her closer, his own soaked clothes cold to the touch.

"Mama looks funny, too!" Matt exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"She does, doesn't she?" Jamie laughed. "We should all go in and dry off, huh?"

"Nooo, I wanna stay out here!"

Jamie bent down to Matt's level. "I'll make you a nice, big cup of hot chocolate if you go inside and towel off like a good boy, okay?"

After a reluctant silence, Matt nodded. "Okay." He turned around, skipping into the house.

Jamie straightened, about to follow him when Cathy caught his arm. "Jamie?"

"Oh, right." He leaned in, giving her a quick, loving kiss. "Sorry I didn't do that sooner."

"I…er…"

"Everything alright, love?"

She nodded. "Yes…yes." She grinned. "Yes." She laughed loudly, spinning around, her face to the rain. "YES!"

"What the hell's got you all excited?" Jamie caught her by the waist, pulling her to him. "God, you act as if you're…" He paused, his brow furrowed. He slowly moved his hands to her stomach, gently pushing on it. His eyes widened as he looked up at her. "Cathy, you're not…"

She kept smiling, ignoring the raindrops falling right into her eyes. "I'm due next March."

He didn't say anything for a few minutes, glancing from where his hands still rested on her stomach to her face. She waited for the news to sink in, starting to dread that maybe, just maybe, he didn't want -

And then he was pulling her into his arms again, picking her up and turning them around, his laughter twining with hers. He set her down eventually, kissing her hard, the rain soaking them both, but she couldn't bring herself to care.