A/N: oy this chapter was rather hard to write in first person... but I think I pulled it off quite well.
Thanks for the support, my lovely readers. It warms my heart! Enjoy!
Chapter 5
I just stared at him... his words ringing in my ears and nipping at my brain. I can feel my chest start to hurt again, the ache extending down to my arms and legs.
Coma? What does he mean I've been in a coma?
Of all the dreams I've had of him, this one is the weirdest. I try to speak but my voice is lost in my throat. Ron reaches over and touched the side of my face.
Wake up. I tell myself. I need to wake up... I... I am getting married today, I can't... be sleeping!
If I keep at this, soon all those around me will fade away and I can carry on about my life. The seconds ticked on by... and Ron isn't fading away. Why won't he fade away?
"Oh thank God is right!" An older woman says... I look to her and frown. I know her face, it's Molly, Ron's mother. She never once appeared in my dreams, so... why is she now? And why is she so close to my bed? I can see the tears in her eyes and the man beside her hugs her close to his body. Arthur... but why are they here?
"You gave us all quite a scare, there Hermione, but I'm glad you've pulled through." Arthur says, beaming.
Pulled through...? From what, the coma? I shudder once again.
My eyes move over to spot Harry and Ginny... hand in hand. Now I know I'm dreaming. They're both happy in their respective marriages. Ginny... she's expecting a baby with Blaise! Yet for some absurdity, my brain won't let me pull away from this dream. Like there's something important it wants me to see.
Ron strokes my hair, "Well, come on, say something Hermione!"
"Don't!" I try desperately to push him away. My arms feel to heavy to move them properly, so I did the next best thing, and shift away. "Don't touch me!"
I watch his expression contort into something sad. "What do you mean? I always touch you like this,"
Actually it's only been with our hands, and even then those times it felt cold and... disconnected.
I shake my head, "No... you've haunted me enough!" My heart starts to feel more weighted, why is it so hard to move? The last time I felt like this, my muscles were weak from the sun. Not lying in an extremely hard bed with scratchy sheets, in a way too cold room or is it because I'm in a short-sleeved hospital gown?
"Just... leave me alone, please." My lungs feel as over-worked as the rest of my body. Clearly I'm in a deeper sleep than I thought, it's going to take some serious concentration to pull myself out of the dream this time. I doubt very much the car will show up here in this place.
"What?" Ron croaks, his face paled. He reaches for me again, but I still shift away, almost to the point that I fall out. God this bed is small and so rickety. I can still feel the twinges from the aftermath of his first touch.
"NO!" My voice is stronger now, as the fear kicks in me. Why is he insisting on touching me so much? Usually I tell him no, he stops! "Stay away from me!"
I stare over to the other pairs of eyes. Harry looks just as conflicted as Ginny did, but neither of them express it. Molly and Arthur share a look, before she goes to his side.
"Ron dear, perhaps you should give her some space..."
Space? No, I need him to leave. I... I have a wedding to get to! My wedding! Tears are flowing from my eyes, at the thought of it. Please... let me wake up! I need to wake up! I don't like this dream at all. Why can't Ron just leave me alone? Why did he bring all these people to torment me?
"No, this is more than just space," Arthur murmurs, "Ginny, go and get the Healer! Hermione could have amnesia"
I watch Ginny disappear from the room. Ron goes to reach for my hand, but I wouldn't have it!
"I said stay away! This is a dream... a terrible dream. I need to wake up, please, Draco... wake me up!"
I wait to hear the voice call my name, but nothing came. Nothing but the rapid beeping of that machine beside my bed.
"Draco?" Ron mutters, "As in... Malfoy? Why the bloody hell-"
"Ron!" Harry chastises, pushing him away from my bed. "Stop it, you're distressing her!"
"Don't tell me what to do, Harry! I've been waiting for her to wake up for an entire month so I am going to-"
"What in Merlin's rod is all this shouting about?!" Barked the Healer as she and Ginny re-entered my room.
"We think she has amnesia," Ginny said as she returned to my side, "She looks lost and she won't let my brother touch her,"
"No I don't!" I say at once, "I know exactly who you all are! It's just... just...a dream... you're all fake and..." I look to Ron, perhaps stating the obvious would speed things up? "You're dead!"
"Hermione, love-"
Ugh. The word sounds so... ugly coming from him! Draco...where is Draco?! Haven't I screamed loud enough for him to shake me awake?
The Healer is at my side in a second, "Oh dear...this... this is much worse than amnesia..."
Ron looks at her, "What are you on about? What's wrong with her?!"
"Stop caring about me! I've had enough of you!" I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks again, my heart is pounding something fierce in my chest. "Please... Draco... save me"
"I need Solution 18 in Room 402, stat!" The Healer barks into her bracelet, "I repeat, Solution 18 in 402!" In ten seconds, two more Healers rush in almost immediately. One carrying a vial of a bright yellow substance. The panic kicks into my system and I am on an all out offense, flailing my arms and legs about, not wanting them to touch me.
"It's okay, Hermione, you're gonna be just fine..." she coos into my ear, stroking my hair as one of the Healers holds on to me.
"Let go of me!"
Still, I try to fight them off, but they are just too strong, my muscles are throbbing and my throat is scratchy, "Wake up," I mutter to myself, "Please wake up. I can't take this any..." I feel my eyes droop and my body goes lax. I feel so... free and happy. Draco... Draco... I'm coming back to you.
"Draco..."
I open my eyes. This is a different room than the one before, but yet, there's still no sign of Draco or my life with him anywhere. I am still in this cold, drab hospital. Why won't this dream just end already? I was certain that... potion those Healers gave me was just my mind's creative way of letting me escape.
"Good evening, Hermione"
The voice startles me. I turn over to see another Healer, a male this time, checking the beeping machine and then writes on his clipboard.
"How are you feeling?" He flips over the page and then turns to me. I stare at him. He has jet-black hair and striking blue eyes... he looks oddly familiar, but I can't put a name to the face.
"My apologies, I'm Nathan... Nathan Simpson. Your new Healer" he sticks his hand out to me, but I am far too weak to shake it. I don't remember any Nathan's from Hogwarts. I suppose, it's just a trick of the light that his face looks so familiar. Like... Theodore Nott.
"This..." my voice is once again rough, "This isn't a dream is it?"
He studies me carefully, "Yes, Bridgette mentioned something like that. But we'll save that discussion for tomorrow."
"No," I whisper. "I don't want to put this off any longer." If I didn't know the truth now, I know I wouldn't be able to get sleep, even with a dose of Calming Draught.
He stares at me for a long moment, "You've gone through quite the trauma, Hermione, it is best that you should sleep for now..." he sets down a vial. "Dreamless Sleep Potion at the ready for you,"
Oh... even better. I take a deep breath and curl the scratchy blankets just under my chin. I've already slept the entire day away, I don't want to sleep anymore.
"I guess so... "
He sets the chart down.
"Everything will be okay, come tomorrow. Just get some rest." And then makes his leave. The door closes and I let the tears flow my eyes.
It's gonna be a very long night. I take the Dreamless Sleep Potion and then try to make myself comfortable. It didn't work. This bed is far too lumpy and the sheets aren't comfortable at all. It makes me miss my king size bed back at our mansion. I miss Draco holding me until I fall asleep. I miss... my life.
A long week followed. And a lot more Calming Draughts before I had the courage to speak to Nathan, about... my dreams. And his answers weren't anything I liked. It turned out, what I thought were dreams were actual memories about my life with Ron and my life with Draco... had been a dream. Each time I say the word, my heart breaks a little more. Why is my mind playing such cruel tricks on me? Whatever did I do to deserve it?
To make matters even worse, Nathan told me that once I've been informed of Ron's 'death' my brain and heart had written him off completely and transferred to Draco - who held traits of what I always wanted out of a husband.
Funny how the mind works in a dream state. Nathan told me it's a form of Lucid Dreaming. Pretty much anything I thought of or wanted, it would happen, and the 'projections' of the people I knew would act according to my emotions. Draco would hold me when I cried or he would kiss me when I... hungered for a connection. A connection I want right now.
Nathan also told me that my parents and Harry and Ginny would visit me several times a week and Ron would hardly leave, not wanting to miss a single moment if I were to wake up unexpectedly. Yet, now that I have, Nathan had warded off all the Weasley's and Harry as seeing them would hinder my progression, not that he knew I knew - he thought I was sleeping at the time. But I am thankful all the same. I didn't want to have another panic attack.
Today he helped me to walk again. Albeit slowly. I felt like a toddler with two left feet. I thank my magical blood, as there would be no way a Muggle would progress this quickly after being one month comatose. The food here is terrible, my sleeping patterns are way off the mark and I am starting to get real homesick - but I've kept that bit of information to myself. As it is just a dream.
When we get back to my room, I smell flowers... the sweetness surrounds my heart and soothes my nerves. I spot a vase of pink roses just at the table beside my bed.
My favourite flower. But if everyone's banned on visiting me, who would give them to me? And now? Because I am positive when I woke up this morning they weren't there.
"Ah it's about time they arrived."
"You're saying you were expecting them?"
I guess that answers my question of over-looking them when I woke up. I'm not sure whether I like it, but the list of people knowing I like the flower is very limited.
"Well, actually I had to pull some strings with the Head Healer here, as we're technically not suppose to have them, because the other patients could have allergies. But... one friend was very insistent you had them. The only thing I had to do was take you out of the room."
He walks over to the side to get his clipboard and scribbles away.
"So... does this mean you know this person?"
How sneaky!
"Perhaps, as they're very secretive. Anyway, things are looking good for you, Hermione, I say a couple more days and until you're released"
Normally I would be happy about this but I... I can't... live with Ron. I am too ashamed to see him or anyone else for that matter. I know Nathan said my feelings for Draco will dissipate over time and my feelings for Ron will return. But... I'm not so sure I want that to happen...
"Do you... not have a place to stay?"
Obviously Nathan caught on to my dazed expression.
"No, I do. With Ron."
"Brilliant, that'll help with your progression, for sure and rekindle your love for him,"
Yeah... I guess so. Although something about his voice felt off, like... he didn't want to say it. Or he had to out of his job... strange. My curious brain is at it again... maybe Nathan is Theodore Nott after all...
Four Days Later...
Today is the day I leave. It feels great to dress in regular clothes again. I just wish... I wish...they would let me leave on my own rather than with... Ron. Then again, I suppose they just don't want me to Splinch myself.
"Alright... I have everything," Ron says, slugging my overnight bag over his shoulder, "Let's be off,"
Hearing Ron say that the way he just did, made me feel cold. I mean, I've gotten rather used to Draco's caring and loving nature those glorious... fourteen days, despite it was all a dream. And I am thankful Ron hasn't brought up my break-down, but I'm sure it's all a matter of time. If there's one thing I do remember about Ron it's his... abrupt way of approaching things.
I take hold of the bouquet of fresh pink roses and then join Ron's side. Ignoring his questioning look. If Nathan's theory about my mixed emotions rings true, then I'm sure they'll be other... better characteristics of Ron that I lo- I mean... like.
We approach the elevator. Bridgette and Nathan bid me a fine farewell and a safe and speedy recovery, until my ears catch another voice. An annoyingly sappy familiar voice.
"Oh Draco stop whining"
My chest swells and my eyes catch sight of him. He's... arm and arm with Pansy and they are getting closer and closer.
"The Healer said you are in no fit state to Apparate on your own, so deal with it"
He stands not that far from me and I... I can smell that forest scent from him and my legs grow weak. I want to touch him and sink into his arms like I've done so many times in my dream...but that will just scare him off. And I certainly don't want that to happen.
"What are you staring at Mudblood?!"
The love of my life... I mentally answer Pansy's question. Draco... he turns his head lazily over to stare at me. God his eyes are so... beautiful. But... empty. He doesn't look at me the same way he did in... um... the dream. It still hurts to say it. I mean, it's obvious Pansy is his girlfriend. I don't want to think she's anything more. I hope they aren't despite fact I can't do much about it.
Like... Ron and I. I look down at the tiny ring on my ring finger and frown. Yes, I remember now when I thought we had money issues... and all the fights. It was with Ron... not Draco like I thought. Much like I'm engaged to Ron not... Draco.
"What has Merlin granted us our wish and rendered you mute?" Pansy barked a laugh, "How... glorious"
"Piss off, Parkinson!" Ron snapped, pushing me to the side, where I collided right into Draco. I felt his hand right upon my lower back. Electric pulses run down to my legs and the hairs on my neck dance from the contact. My heart can't take this teasing anymore, yet I'm far too selfish to step away from his touch. The tears start to well in my eyes again.
He's still staring at me. I can see him out of the corner of my eye. I close my eyes and the tears fell, staining my cheeks. So much for not having feelings for him.
"Granger?" he says softly. When he doesn't say my name, it just solidifies what Nathan's been telling me all this week, and what's left of my heart, breaks. I don't want to think about when I'll need to act indifferent around Draco...I... I want this connection to stay with me forever. There had been a reason why I dreamt of him.
I turn to Draco, looking up at him to meet his eyes. He's just as tall as he was in the dream. I want to touch him so badly, but... it'll just anger him and confuse him. I don't want that. He glances over his shoulder to see Ron and Pansy still barking at each other.
"I see you got my flowers..."
My battered heart picks itself back up and the rhythm returns to normal. Did... did he just say... his flowers? He sent me the pink roses? But how did he even know I was here? Pansy mentioned something about him leaving, so... I guess that means he was here too! I wonder why...
He licked his lips, and I had a very strong urge to kiss them. Would they be just as soft as I remember them being? He certainly looks... more emaciated than before. My guess is from malnutrition.
"You... you sent me these?" Truthfully, I didn't know what else to say, I am too stunned about it but extremely happy at the same time.
I watch him take one of the roses out of the bouquet, to bring it up to his nose.
"I heard about what happened to you, and... how no one visited you. So... I did. After hours, because... well, at the time, I was still recuperating and I didn't want to get caught. I've been in an accident myself as you can see"
He gestured to himself and I grin. So... I was right. Nathan is Theodore Nott! It makes sense on how he would know Draco... they were both in Slytherin House! I wonder... why did he change his name? And why I dreamt about Draco. I mean, it makes total sense now. I read about it once, that being of magical blood, we're capable of dreaming about the person who talks to us. I just had been too distraught my life with him was over, to realize.
"Good... that you're better," I whisper. Really, what else could I say? I don't feel awkward or shy... just the opposite really. Just like he is. He's acting so relaxed around me. Perhaps there isn't much of a difference to the Dream Draco to the one before me.
"Thanks. You know, seeing you all alone, made me remember the time after the war, when no one would visit me. But they had good reason, I've been such a shit to everybody, so I didn't resent anyone, except my Father."
Yes... I remember reading something about that too. Nathan-ah, I mean Theo showed me an article about him suffering extensive eternal wounds from being inflicted with the Cruciatus Curse, by his own Father. It tore my heart in half, and I cried for a long while... hours I think. In my dream his parents died in the war trying to protect one another from the Killing Curse. And now... well, the reality of it all, is just as tragic. I suppose it's why Draco was so mean to us in school. The bully gets bullied. I feel my heart aching again, and the tears return to my eyes. He's been in such pain...
"So, once they released me, I made a great effort to change and went overseas for a change of scenery for about two years and then... well came back for my fr- I mean, for Blaise's funeral one year later, following that..."
"And now?" I find myself saying. I feel the blush raising to my cheeks, and I drop my head down from being so forward, "Sorry, that was rude of me,"
He shakes his head, "Not at all. It was... work related. A mishap with some potion."
So... he works with potions? The information warms my soul, but I choose to keep my comments to myself this time.
"But now that you're awake, I hope we can... patch things up. Someday, when you're feeling better."
Wow. Is he...serious?
"I mean... that's if you're okay with it..."
I see Pansy and Ron were still at it and smile to myself. Well, what Ron doesn't know wouldn't hurt.
"Yeah... I would like that,"
Draco smiles at me and gives a nod. The chime of the elevator arrived, but I ignored it. I just stayed focused on Draco. He's been so honest with me, I want to return the favour.
"You had it wrong," I whisper, watching him return the single rose to my bouquet, "I had a panic attack when I woke up. Seeing faces that um... scared me, so the Healers felt it necessary that I be isolated for the rest of my recuperation. But thank you,"
This is my chance, and I am going to take it. I sink into his arms and hug him tightly, "Thank you, so much for caring..."
God, he feels just as heavenly as he did in the dreams. Tears streamed from my eyes. Happy ones this time. I engulf the forest scent of his cologne.
"OI! Step away from him you Mudblood leech!" Shrieked Pansy. I guess that... that means she and Ron finished fighting. Speaking of Ron... He looks at me indifferently, if not sourly. And then when he looks at Draco, he bares his teeth in a cruel snarl.
He pushes the down button again and the elevator doors pop open. No waiting time. Ron takes a hold of my hand, and I stiffen. I turn around in time to see Draco approaching the elevator, all for a second before he's pulled back.
"What do you think you're doing?" Pansy sneered, yanking him over to her side, "There's no way we're sharing an elevator with those twats! We're taking the next one."
I catch the expression on his face and it makes me think. Perhaps he's just as obliged to Pansy as I am to Ron? With what he's said about changing and everything, I highly doubt him staying with Pansy would be an option, I mean, she did say he couldn't Apparate back home on his own after all...
The doors close and the elevator shutters its way down. Taking me toward my new and real life.
E/N: I am a lucid dreamer. I can control what happens in my dream. So that is my source. Which is also why I enjoy the movie Inception so much. Also I didn't make Draco a jerk in "real-time" so... if those were expecting that, then I'm sorry. I'm not for angst at all, I did say this is a fluffier story. And no, I am not going to make Ron the bad guy. Hermione just feels the way she does because it's the after-shock of her coma.